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I give up on my DH

Queen Mum

Veteran

yesterday's conversation:

me: "Wear that new shirt we got for you at Macy's"
DH: puts in on, tugs, wriggles and adjusts.... "It's too tight"
me: "It's not tight, it's fitted.. and looks great"
DH: grumble, grumble, complain, complain...
me: "Honey, I want you to notice other men and notice which ones look old and which ones look stylish"
DH: "I don't care what I look like, I want to be comfortable"
me: "Then wear sweats!" (which he would never do in public)

I know, baby steps, baby steps... but for crying out loud, it was a great looking Alfani cotton knit button up shirt with plenty of stretch. There is no way on the planet it could have felt tight on him. I just don't get it.

And he did end up wearing it and looked fabulous! But it's like pulling teeth to get him to wear a shirt that actually fits in the shoulders.

General

27 replies

Latest reply was from Queen Mum

Louise

Veteran

Aw bless these men. BF went out on Saturday looking like he was wearing a tent!!!! Linen drawstring trousers and a shirt 2 sizes too big I got pretty much the same response!. He's big anyway and I can't get through to him that wearing big loose clothes makes him look even bigger!!!! x

Lisa

Veteran

I always tell my hubby, you can tell the married men from the unmarried men. I praise until I am blue in the face when he wears something I suggested. I can't get him out of Polo shirts, but have started getting him into pastels at least. Otherwise it's navy, black or gray.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

I know the pain Kim. I have struggled with my DH too. This "comfortable" factor!!!
His shirts usually fit in the shoulders but too loose in the body as he is broad shouldered but very lean.
You know what did I do in the end? Took ALL his shirts to my mom and she tailored them. Now he just does not have any choice!

marianna

Veteran

Haha... my fiance listens to me and has started to dress much better. I don't let him out of the house if I don't like his outfit. I've told him many times that I take pride in my appearance and I want my partner to be well dressed too. Seeing him in a great outfit brings me happiness, so he puts effort into his appearance for me.

AJ

Veteran

Kim, I know my hubby will give me the comfort excuse as well if I try to buy him more fitted clothes. At least he does like wearing button downs with dress pants.

Marianna - Good job "training" your finance! : )

Queen Mum

Veteran

so, is it really that uncomfortable to have fabric actually touching your torso? He acts like I've put him in a straight jacket sometimes. Good grief!

Queen Mum

Veteran

Sveta- I"ve actually considered secretly having some of his shirts altered. But decided to just be more firm when we're out shopping... thus the "too tight" shirt of yesterday.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

LOL...this reminds me of a recent episode that my DH and I had at the nordstrom anniversary sale. I made him try on a fitted (not even skinny) pair of Rock and Republic jeans. My husand has a great man-figure (hopefully our kids get is genes in that dept) and could pull off the most fashion forward looks. We bought the jeans, but took them back. I kept asking if they were too tight and he admited they didn't constrict...He said he was uncomfortable showing off his butt! LOL...I guess girls aren't the only ones with body issues...

Queen Mum

Veteran

ooh, I already have plans this fall to sneak my dh into a nice pair of fitted jeans. wish me luck girls

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Kim, you deserve a medal. Bless hubby for listening to you anyway. DH should know that the queen rules the show. He is but a mere castle courtier!

A bit of habit breaking practice, some time, and win the wars if that means loosing the battles :0)

Carole

Veteran

This sounds familiar! My husband took the day off work on my birthday so we could do anything I wanted, what did I want? To take him shopping! It was the only way to get him in the store to try stuff on, he has been needing new jeans to replace his "old man" jeans for ages! We actually got a great fitting pair at Banana Republic, also a great pair of gray chinos the sales clerk insisted he try on, and a pair of loafers! Yeah! Next up, shirts!

Scarlet

Veteran

I am often thinking, like now, I really appreciate your sense of humor, Queenie. I feel your pain, though.

londonkiwi (now back in NZ)

Veteran

The only thing that convinced DH that a fitted shirt was the way to go was the very good looking sales assistant agreeing with me...

Kristen

(website)

Veteran

My DH kept wearing clothes that were ill-fitting until he lost weight. Now he is a regular at Express, and is a master at the vest-tie-collared shirt look. He looks better than I do most days!

Debbie

Veteran

Oh Kim I feel your pain. My husband was looking at an invitation we received and says oh casual that means shorts right. No not hardly.

Beth

Veteran

Lord have mercy, do I know what you're talking about.

It was a huge victory to get my DH into flat front khakis. I'm still working on getting him to wear a jacket without a tie. It's an exhausting job.

He's tall and slender and he could wear anything he wanted, but nooooo, we must dress the same way at 39 that I'm sure he'll be dressing at 80. Sigh. I do love him, though.

Queen Mum

Veteran

I *get* that men are not wired the same way as us and fashion isn't as important and all that....and for the most part I don't offer my advice unless asked, but really. Sometimes I just have to scratch my head.

Debbie and Fi- hilarious!

Kristen, perhaps your DH could write up a blog post that we could share with our DH's

Anonymous

Sounds like it worked Kim. He probably was comfortable all day and now realizes that it's not so bad to look styl;ish.
Good job Kim!

bj1111

Veteran

haha! great job on baby steps!

our airline lost our luggage on our way to spain. that was the only way i got my husband to shop with me and try out a european (ie slimmer) style that he now really likes.

Sparky

Veteran

Oh, this thread has me doubled up laughing. My DH used to make an effort dressing when we were first dating, and looked pretty sharp back then. Styles have changed since the early nineties but you'd never know it looking at him. I bought him a few new shirts from Lands' End recently ~ nothing special, just updated tops to replace some worn out ones ~ and he wanted to know if I'd paid more than $5 for each. And also said he didn't need them as his current ones were nicely broken in. OK sweetie, I still love you.

Queen Mum

Veteran

Sparky.. that is a hoot! "Oh, no dear, I would NEVER pay more than $5 for a shirt ;-)" I don't know where they think all their money goes.

Sparky

Veteran

Oh, don't get me started. He *knows* how much some things cost but he doesn't like it. Take hair, for example. He used to go to a barber that gave him the most dreadful cuts, but it was only $10 so he thought it was worth it. After one especially atrocious cut even he had to acknowledge that cheap can sometimes be . . . cheap. He went to my hairdresser for a while after that.

Queenie, usually I say, "Sure dear, no more than five bucks. Absolutely. Just like back in the olden days of the covered wagon."

Katiepea

(website)

Veteran

Oh goodness, I feel your pain!

In some ways luckily for me, my husband has a dreadful memory in regard to what items of clothing he has in his wardrobe. As a result, I have (through necessity) become a 'closet' vigilante. In five years of my purging his wardrobe, he has noticed precisely two items of clothing have gone missing (and I have reluctantly returned them - I hide them in a bag for a couple of weeks before they go to the op-shop in case he really misses/needs them).

I did warn him that I'd be doing this before I started all those years ago as he openly acknowledges he is a hoarder who has a hard time realising when it is time to let clothes "go". It may be different approach, but it certainly works!

Luckily, I can say that he cares about his appearance and actually wants my approval for all potential clothing items purchased. This is very sweet, but currently means dragging three small boys into a clothing store and trying to keep them in control while he takes eons in the fitting room and comes out with each and every item for a pro-con discussion. It makes for a less than relaxing time! Hmmmmm, maybe now that they are starting to get a little older, this year's shopping stress will be a little less frustrating.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Katiepea, you are very bold...

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I don't have this problem with Ben, he likes a slim fit retro polo shirt, straight leg jeans and a v necked cardigans but I would love to break his fashion sneaker habit. Seriously he wears them all of the time but will reluctantly change to shoes if there is a place of worship involved.

My Dad on the other hand love his shirts, he wears them slim fitted but has to have a comfortable fit around the arm hole. Could this be the area which bother your hubby? My Dad finds CK shirts are cut perfectly for his arms.

londonkiwi (now back in NZ)

Veteran

That's funny about Ben! How about some more dressier fashion sneakers in leather as a step towards a shoe?

Steve probably has more clothes than me and is actually very picky now about what he likes and doesn't like. He is still resistant to trying new things, but then he surprises me and likes the look of a tweed printed Mac.

What he isn't very good with is colours, he has blondey brown hair, green eyes and a yellowish complexion, but thinks that mustard yellow and khaki would be perfect colours for him. He also refuses to believe me that a bright blue can be worn with dark blue jeans because they are both blue.

Other than those two big complants he has actually picked up a rather Euro attitude to clothing and looking after himself.

Queen Mum

Veteran

Katie- I have done that. In fact my husband still reminds me that he returned from war (literally) to find his favorite shirt missing. It was a white plaid shirt that he had washed with something red and so it had a pinkish tinge to it and I couldn't manage to convince him of this fact. I also sold his car while he was gone.. another story.

Julie- Yes, I think it's the armholes that bother him the most as he always wants to gravitate toward shirts that are too big in the shoulders. I'll have to look at some CK shirts. Thanks for the suggestion.