Well thanks Helena, now I’m worried about whether my new quilted puffer is sage or some kind of light khaki
(Not actually worried, but the colour has been a source of some internal debate since I brought it home Sunday as it appeared sage green in the store but light khaki in my house…)
I personally realized last year I think that the fitted, ‘flattering’ puffer, perhaps with clever diagonal lines placed just so was perhaps my version of her burgundy puffer - no longer on trend but still what I was looking for as I just don’t love the sleeping bag style - definitely something I would choose as a loud, proud middle aged women and that my teen kids would definitely reject! My new diamond quilted one still isn’t what the kids are wearing and that’s fine

Argh noooooo hahaha!!! *slaps forehead* Jules, NOT my intention! I love sage; please wear it with joy whichever shade it is!! FWIW I wear and love blush regardless of whether it's in, out, up or down

And I am hoping to find a puffer with some kind of shape to it for sure - if not a belt then at least something to balance the puffiness.

Maybe this thread isn't about fashion or fashion advice at all -- it's about humour, and what we find funny, and how that differs depending on personality but also cultural context and factors like our own age, race, social class, education.

Some people love a bit of snark.

Others cringe at it.

Some love it in some contexts (say, fashion) but not in other contexts (say, politics). Or vice versa.

Horses for courses, as Angie would say.

For me, it's a bit of both. I often laugh out loud at comments like this. Not this particular one, because I still think it was ageist in a way I just don't find amusing -- what Peri said, basically. (Thanks, Peri).

Still, it's hilarious when someone says something you've secretly or even unconsciously been feeling for a long time. And they've put it into words? It might not be polite. But it's provoking and energizing.

Suz, I think too that fashion/clothing is so often an arena for defining social hierarchies especially in our younger years. Many of us have had experiences of showing up in the "wrong" thing that we didn't realize was wrong. (Or alternatively, being painfully aware that it was wrong and having to show up in it anyway.) It's easy for style snark to hit a tender spot (of course, I've indulged in it from time to time myself, so not casting stones here!) It's all just falafel, but, you know, it's not just falafel.

Oh, man, it went too far. Definitely, just a falafel for me.

I can take a joke as well as anyone, and have often been told that I’m funny! I am struck by the great privilege implied in being able to donate a warm coat because the color is…old?
So, so interesting. Reading the fascinating replies, and many thanks.

Catherine I have this mental picture of all thrift stores overflowing with maroon puffers soon! Thereafter to landfill. My final comment on this is to say I also like a good laugh, and I found the post Janet shared recently about applying barely there make-up in middle age really funny, but this comment does not make me smile at all. As Suz noted this comment is flat-out ageist in a way that I don't find funny either. Is it so bad to look like a middle age woman?

As someone who pops into thrift stores on a bi-weekly basis…

1) I never see maroon/berry/wine coats , blazers, jackets, or top layers donated. I do see faded olive drabs, and faded black. People love those wine colors and hang onto those.

2). I thought CG was amusing, but now I feel this person can eat a big bag of (choose your favorite adjective/noun combo HERE) for shaming people about middle-age, as if it is something hideous, and not a phase of life +wisdom+experience that we’re all incredibly fortunate to reach.

I think we really all need to remember is that bloggers have an agenda. Most have relationships and get kick back from purchases. If they didn't make us ashamed and feeling like we were frumpy and needed "new" stuff then how would they earn their keep? I do think as women we get sucked into the attitude that we are never "good enough" as we are. Not fit enough, not pretty enough, not "youthful" enough, not smart enough, not organized enough, not doing enough, please fill in more blanks at nauseum. But that's honestly a sham. We are "enough" just as we are. Unless we feel a lack, a fatigue, a desire, a boredom or a sea change is necessary, then we and our wardrobes, our lives etc - we they are enough!!! So I think we should recognize that this is a bloggers livelihood to make us purchase, we should respect the agenda, but also realize they are not disinterested parties. Since I'm almost always swimming against the flow, as at 63 I sit here in my new mini skirt and knee boots, enjoying my new skinny jeans, still rocking my skirted leggings, wearing hugely oversized sweaters and leggings and long jackets, bodysuits, if it's fringe or out it's probably in general rotation. So I can't say I don't feel the sting when I read things like that but to misquote a favorite character, Amelia Peabody, of the Crocodile on the Sandbank series, Pepper is the spice of life. It makes it interesting even if it sometimes burn or is too caustic.

Sorry I keep chiming in, but I keep catching up on everyone's thoughts and then having new thoughts about it pop into my head!

From taking more of this particular IG, she has a lot of body positivity, pro-woman energy. So I wonder if her dig at 'middle age' is more a dig at a stereotype about middle age vs. actually being middle age.

Remember the infamous "mom jeans" skit from Saturday Night Live?
They were not insulting being a mom - they were taking the p!ss out of the stereotype that being a mom by definition means cutting your hair a certain way and wearing certain clothes that are considered frumpy and off-trend (the irony of mom jeans being trendy right now is not lost on me!).

I think when I heard her having a go at 'middle-age', I wasn't offended because I subconsciously interpreted it as taking aim at a stereotype - that being 'of a certain age' necessarily means getting into a rut or wearing what we've always worn, rather than giving what's new and now a go - not about the age per se.

Now obviously that leads right back into the whole discussion about whether staying on-trend is important, which I think we generally agree is a matter of personal choice! Or a discussion about whether they *way* she said it was appropriate (which arguably it wasn't given that it didn't land well with many!) But fwiw, I think Charly may be trying to say that the trendy road needn't close when we hit 45.

Just another 2 cents, which if we're tallying I'm probably in the hole about 100 bucks by now lol!

Helena, you nailed it IMHO.