I can't believe it - from BBQ to Picky... - YouLookFab Forum

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I can't believe it - from BBQ to Picky...

velvetychocolate

Veteran

I was all set to order a whole bunch of stuff from Lands End because of the sale someone mentioned/pointed out earlier today - and while I'd still like to have a navy blue sweater after reading Parisian Chic - it was Annagybe's link to a Margaret Cho blog post that had me pausing (stopping) before just ordering a bunch of random stuff. The idea that everything should flatter.

It's also Ines' idea that when you buy something, it should somehow integrate into your wardrobe/closet. Now granted, my wardrobe/closet is a real hodge-podge - but still....

I think I'm also becoming inspired by Angie's being very particular about things? If she can wait for just the right coat, then so can I.

Even reading lyn*s recent post about her lean closet - I don't have to buy things just to fill up my closet because of some perceived lack. Even if there is a lack - I can still be very choosy and even picky.

I think my standards just went way up?

Buying stuff to fill a perceived hole/need? It's almost like eating a bunch of junk food to feel better on a bad day.

It's not that I don't love a good deal - I certainly do, but the thing is - buying up a whole bunch of "stuff" to try and fix things isn't the way to go here.

I'd much rather have one really great piece than a bunch of stuff on sale. This is kind of shocking, because I really was all set to order because of "the sale".

Guess what? I didn't do it.

Shopping

19 replies

Latest reply was from velvetychocolate

Anonymous

I'm in the same state of mind. I am very tired of buying stuff just because it's a good deal.

velvetychocolate

Veteran

I've done a lot of that lately tracina - buying things because it was a "good deal" - but the thing is? This has only added a bunch of closet orphans that I don't really know what to do with.

I guess those things aren't really such a great deal after all?

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I love this post; I do a lot of returning when I don't adhere to my wardrobe cohesion ideals!

I think I should read this Paresian book :p

Makrame

Veteran

Good for you, VC! I try to stick to the same principle by returning anything that is not a perfect fit for my wardrobe. I've spent many years buying stuff because it was a good deal and then feeling "blah" about it.

I used the sale to buy a few basic items that I was lacking to complete some outfits (neutral layering turtlenecks, shirts). I know what combinations they need to work in and what criteria they need to meet - if they are not "it", they are out!

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Awesome VC! I do buy a lot so I can try things out, but I am very picky and return most of it. So it has to be super fab to stay in my closet. Hard for me to know in advance what will work on me. But I am slowly getting better and hopefully my order rate will go down and keep rate will go up as time goes on.

Sylvie

Veteran

Good for you! No point in just buying things if you don't think they have a purpose in your wardrobe. Keeping track of wardrobe holes has really been helpful to me. I still buy things on sale that I think might work (and then do lots and lots of returns) just like GP.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

This is a meaningful epiphany, VC. I am so very impatient with *everything* in life apart from my clients, doggies, and items for my own wardrobe. I truly believe that all good wardrobe items come to those who wait.

celia

Veteran

I think that this was a great realisation on your part.We don't have to have a big wardrobe to look fab, just clothes that are perfect for us.

Claudia

Veteran

VC: you are my hero! I am striving to be just like you.

Mochi

Veteran

Excellent points, VC! I just don't want to settle for a blah outfit item anymore. We even deserve awesome T-shirts--and we shall get them!

Anonymous

Good for you and an excellent reminder for all of us. I want that perfect navy sweater (or maybe a blouse) too. Often more navy shows up after the holidays for spring.

velvetychocolate

Veteran

I think Angie hit the nail on the head with this one - I hadn't realized it, but after reading her response - it is related to being somewhat impatient.

This might be a bit of a stretch, but it almost reminds me of when I first started dieting to lose weight, and I remember thinking, "I'll be skinny by summer" or something along those lines. Well, it didn't happen that way - it's taking a lot longer than I expected, but I've learned a whole lot in the process and I'm actually grateful for the time spent.

I felt that same perceived lack back then too - "Uh oh....there's nothing to eat..." (visions of dry salad and boiled chicken breast danced in my head), but little did I know, I would eventually learn how to make a wonderful salmon dinner with roasted asparagus and homemade tartar sauce. I guess the 'lack' is there for a reason? Perhaps something even better is waiting. If I fill my closet with sale stuff in a big hurry, then there won't be room for a beautiful navy cashmere sweater, and I won't learn how to buy a better quality piece.

Ok - this is getting way off topic, but I do find it interesting how I've likely been rushing toward the 'quick fix' when it comes to having a better wardrobe. It's like those frozen Lean Cuisines, the cabbage soup diet, the three day crash diet...etc. And as much as I'd like to master/fix this immediately, it's not going to work that way. What I've been doing isn't working - random purchases that were on sale or that I thought would 'fix' a hole in my closet.

Meanwhile, if anyone sees a nice navy cashmere sweater - let me know...

mamaKate

Veteran

Thank you, VC, for starting a thread that has articulated a whole bunch of thoughts that race through my head every time I go shopping. This helps me think more clearly!

Amy

(website)

Veteran

I'm not so good at resisting buying items, but I have grown better at returning items that don't suit entirely (thanks YLF!). Good for you at coming to this realization and exerting the will power to do what you think is right for you. That's admirable.

Just like you, I'm also coveting a navy sweater, which is entirely due to the characterization given to the item in Parisian Chic. I've looked at several and am starting to think holding out for THE PERFECT ONE would be a good idea. Here's what I've considered lately.

Only Mine Cashmere V-neck from Nordies. It looks just right; however the reviews say it pills a lot and only lasts one season. I passed that up.

Tommy Hilfiger Cable V-neck I looked at this, but ultimately decided not to buy since it was made from cotton. Cotton sweaters generally don't hold up as well in my experience.

Ruched Cable V-neck from Eddie Bauer This one I ended up purchasing, partly because I like the cables and ruching and partly because of the cotton/nylon blend. I generally don't like cotton sweaters, but am hoping the nylon content will make the sweater look nice for longer. If it doesn't fit right, I'll return it and keep looking.

rae

(website)

Veteran

As someone who grew up with a take-what-you-can-get-because-you-won't-get-much household, I'm shocked to see how picky I've become. Like you, I find myself thinking ahead to the killer items I won't get if I fill my closet with quick fixes.

I feel this also goes in line with my propensity for duplication these days. I'm SO picky about certain things that, once I find something that works , I'm dedicated to it. Why reinvent the wheel and get things just because they're a different brand or style? Why not stick with the road tested styles that make me smile every time?

I still like variety and novelty, but now there are so many more qualities to look for in addition to that.

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

I think the BBQ part comes in when you find the perfect piece. You don't want to wait to buy it, it will be gone in your size or color by the time sale time rolls around.

velvetychocolate

Veteran

That's a good point modgirl - and you're right, "BBQ" is more about when you spot something perfect - you might as well get it right away. I don't think the stores stock as much as they used to, and sometimes things don't end up on sale, or if they do - the sizes are gone.

There must be a good term for what I'm trying to describe - where you get caught up buying stuff just because it's on sale for a seemingly good price. Another term needed for being impatient and trying to overhaul everything all at once.

I'm glad I hesitated. I think it might be better for me to have a good look through my closet and edit it before buying a bunch more stuff. At least this way, I'll have some idea of what's already there, and what will 'integrate' or really add to my wardrobe, instead of just more orphans cluttering up the place.

Anonymous

Oh VC, what a great post! I am SO proud of you for not ordering a bunch of stuff willy nilly. I love that you're getting picky. I think that shows that you're on the right track. Getting the 'right' items that have incredible fit will not be easy. I'm starting to figure out that for myself.

This past weekend, I went out and bought a navy V-necked sweater and it has already been returned, not even being good enough to rate a K/R post! Methinks there is a fine line between "aging preppy" and "Parisian Chic" for some of these classic items (for a woman my age, anyway)! I love the items I see in the Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfigger stores, but usually the cut and fit is too boxy and doesn't flatter me.

Also, what am I thinking? I have sworn off pullover sweaters because I live in a warm climate and there is no graceful way out of one in public (even if I had on a decent underlayer). I will have to come up with a version that works for me. I'm still waiting on my book to come but I hope I have the wherewithall to be patient like you and not run out and try to fill up my closet with the magnificent 7, which done too carelessly, might not be very magnificent at all!

You are on the right track! Just reading this helps keep me in line too; thank you!

velvetychocolate

Veteran

Good points Claire! Interesting about the preppy thing - last fall, I bought a red pea coat at Costco because it was "such a good price" - I thought it was classic and stylish and all of that. I think I got it for just $49.95 plus tax. I've worn it *once.*

A few months later, I spent more than $100 on a better handbag. It's simple - black, crossover, but it's a soft, yet structured rectangular shape. I don't normally spend that kind of money on purses - but you know what? I love that thing! I actually got complimented on it the other day at the UPS store (by a man!) when dropping off some parcels. It was regularly priced at over $250 and I found it at the Rack last winter. At the time, I felt kind of guilty but I really liked it - it just seemed "me" - it wasn't hobo-ish, it wasn't blingy, and yet it had a really interesting shape to it and was beautifully made.

The red pea coat was one of those, "Wow - only $49? It's a 'must have' - everyone needs a red pea coat..." Cost per wear? $50 something. Don't get me wrong - I do like pea coats, even red ones. Just not on me.

I have one confession though - I did buy some of that Neutrogena Body Oil as recommended by Ines. I bought a small bottle ($6), to see if I liked it first. I love it!

Claire - maybe you can try a navy cardigan or v-necked knit top instead of an actual pullover sweater?