I am Brent, and I am clueless. - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Dressing

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

I am Brent, and I am clueless.

Kbowen0188

Member

I am 23 years old. I am a homeschooled recluse of a kid who knows absolutely nothing about style or fashion, nor have I cared. I work as a computer technician at a bank, where most of the technicians just wear khaki pants and some form of a polo shirt. Or a sweater. Basically, something that can tuck in that isn't a tshirt.

Confession time, because it feel ashamed all of a sudden. I wear the same pair of Walmart dress shoes about every work day. Black, with white no show socks. I wear whatever pair of Walmart khakis I have on hand out of two choices, the single belt I own, and whatever plaid button down shirt I can find.

I don't care, and it probably shows.

However, I do have passion for my job. I want to excel at my job. I want to be noticed, and I think my appearance is one of the keys. The cliche computer tech is overweight, doesn't care about his appearance, and isn't usually that well groomed. I want to be different. I've been doing some research, and I am also coming here for advice. What should I wear to work?

I am 6'1 and 180. I look slim, though I think I am just a tad heavy. Noticeable feature is a receded hairline, sadly. Only high on my forehead. I can post a picture of myself, if it matters.

I have tried to do some research of my own. Apparently I need more than one dress shoe, and leather is a good idea. I tried to choose some, and have a wish list of plain toe Rockport oxfords, in black and suede; brown Timberland casual formal shoes, and black Timberland lace up leather boots. I like the look of a lace up leather boot, but that might be bad. Apparently I need a few khakis, and they need to be cotton. My wife suggest a pair that had a tapered leg. Apparently I also need some button up shirts, short sleeved or rolled up, cotton, fitted. This doesn't look super formal, but does look professional?

And a watch. A nice watch.

Any advice? I want to make a change and I am clueless wear to start.

Thank you for reading through my story.

Dressing

30 replies

Latest reply was from rachylou

Sharon

Veteran

Hi Brent and welcome! My husband is a computer geek, so I am familiar with the "don't know, don't care" school of getting dressed.

He has a business casual environment, so wears tailored pants and a button down shirt and tie. He sticks to neutrals and has mostly plain fabric rather than patterns. He matches his belt to his shoes and wears leather lace-ups. I usually go shopping with him and pick out two or three pairs of pants and 5 shirts that co-ordinate with all of them (like a male version of the capsule wardrobe on the YLF blog today).

If your wife does not feel confident doing that for you, I would suggest going in to a mid-range mens store, explaining what you want to the sales assistant and letting them show you some ideas. That is their job and most of them are very good at it and very helpful. It may also be valuable for you to look at some menswear sites/catalogues and get an idea of the look you would like for yourself.

rae

(website)

Veteran

Welcome, Brent! High five for taking pride in your work look and thinking ahead to future positions - they always say to dress for the job that you want, not the one you have - right?

First, have you seen Angie's post on the Youlookfab blog? From what she says here, it sounds like the easiest things to sharpen up your look might be some non-khaki trousers and as you said, great shoes.
http://youlookfab.com/2008/04/.....l-for-men/

What a lot of us do here, too, is to post photos of some of our current outfits, and then everyone on the forum can make suggestions on what tweaks to make.

For even more specific suggestions, I would highly recommend signing up for a free stylist at a local department store. You can bring in some of the clothes you already have and ask them to suggest specific shoes/belts/shirts/pants that will easily mix and match so that you don't need a whole new wardrobe. (disclaimer: this is what I do for a living. But I've found that men especially love this service, so I had to suggest it).

Hope this helps - and best of luck!

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Hi & welcome.

I like these two sites - you may not need everything here but the first one shows how few clothes you do actually need

The other thing I would suggest is to go & have a look at some well-made clothing & if you feel okay about it try things on - it gives you the best idea of the difference between clothes that will help you build a wardrobe & clothes that will need replacing often.

http://imagegranted.com/style-.....-wardrobe/

http://basicwardrobe.info/

rabbit

Veteran

Welcome! I don't know much about menswear, so hopefully others can chime in, but I help dress my husband who is an engineer in a business casual office. Here's some basic things that were good starting points for us (that you may already know, but just in case). Higher levels of men's fashion no doubt break these rules, but baby steps work for me and him

-It's nice if your shoes tonally match your outfit, so if you are wearing a pale shirt, and tan khakis, it's great if you have brown rather than black shoes as an option. Same if you are wearing black pants - go with dark shoes. (darker Gray pants and black shoes are fine together too). If you have only one pair of shoes, go with black, as long as the shoes are the same color or darker than your pants you are fine.

-Wear socks that are tonally close to your pants and shoes (so tan socks with khakis and brown shoes, and black shoes with black socks and black pants). Don't have athletic logos on your socks. Don't wear faded black socks or white sport socks.

-Two things that are the same for both men's and women's clothes, if your shoes are close to the same color as your pants, your legs will look longer/taller. (Also it's visually pleasing/harmonious when your shoes are close to the same color/lightness as your hair sometimes).

-match your belt to your shoes if in doubt. For both belts and shoes leather is better.

-With both khaki pants and shirts cotton is good, but there are no-iron shirts that aren't always all cotton that are easier sometimes and can stay neater looking during the day.

- fitted button-down shirts are good. Neutrals that are safe are white or cream, gray, black, and pale and dark blues. Stick with no pattern (or occasionally very subtle/small pinstriping).

-If you have lighter colored eyes (green, blue, gray) shirts the same color will often look good with them. (There are systems for figuring out what colors look best on you if you want to get more in depth).

-short sleeves in summer/hot weather only.

-Lace up boots I would keep at home (I think they are awesome and my husband loves them too, but doesn't wear them to work). Unless they are a dress shoe style - you would need a sales assistant at the store to advise probably.

--------------------------------------

Also where to shop: If you want Walmart prices but higher quality (like me) some good places I look beside Sears, Kohls, Target and JC Penney are:

Macy's during weekend sales
Marshalls or Nordstrom Rack (both good places to get men's shoes, but go for the most classic looking options)

Have fun with it!

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

Welcome and - Wowza! You came well prepared I am impressed. The rest is easy and we'll have you sorted in no time.

And please - no shame. Shame is the worst, most destructive feeling ever. You are at the right place.

Some general stuff:
I come from the work environment of computer geeks (which I love working in, btw), my last one was a bank and it was was at a very, very casual place. Enough to make me certain that some things, while they scream character, don't say "I put effort and care in my work look". So, please leave tee shirts with funny, funky, quirky or provocative stuff on - at home.

Also, make sure you never ever have backside cleavage - your pants must always fit properly. Sounds so logical and obvious, but the horrors I've witnessed are enough to make me certain this should be in every workplace dress code in bold letters.

Next, no matter what you wear, one thing you can always be - groomed. Haircut, shave, clipped nails, anti-perspirant.

What to wear:

Top to bottom: you'll never go wrong with nice button up shirt. No need for too many at first until you find the right style and/or pattern for you.

Pants: no matter what kind or style you buy, wear the right length. There are guidelines about this on the net and any salesperson worth their salt will know this. The hem of the pants must not be too high from the ground (we go with about 1/2 inch, the sole of the shoe is all you can see, but not the whole shoe). So, when trying the pants on, try them with the shoes you'll be wearing them with.

It will largely depend on your work dress code what you can wear, but you'll more than get away with nice pair of jeans for most days. Khakis always sound too wrinkly to me personally, but this may be language misconception (I am not native English speaker). There are pants between the jeans and suit pants, don't be overwhelmed. Narrow down to one or two styles you like - or which look good on you. Your wife and we can help you with this.

Have a nice belt, don't leave the loopholes empty. The belt is another nice touch of polish. Generally, jeans and dressier pants require completely different belts.

Shoes: yes, nice shoes tell a lot. Choose the first decent pair depending on whether you're dark or bright haired, so your look is balanced and cohesive. There's a lot of stuff out there and it's good to determine your budget. Shoes should take a good chunk of it - they are first and foremost something you walk in and spend most of the day in, so they must be comfortable. Don't compromise on comfort. And don't be afraid of very dressy shoes. Match socks to shoes closely and don't let the leg skin show when you cross legs (the guideline on this might have changed, but banks are generally conservative).
The belt and shoes don't need to match 100%.

Upgrades:
The watch is a nice touch, I agree. It's also very personal thing. Some see it as accessory, some as statement piece. I don't think it's necessary if you feel uncomfortable wearing it.

You might want to have a tie, a white shirt and one pair of dressy pants or even interview suit ready for when you start applying for other jobs. The last thing you want when you need to prepare for the interview is waste time on shopping and to panic what you'll wear. You will in most cases need to err on the side of conservative dressing and rather overdress than underdressed for the interview process.

Jeanie

Veteran

Welcome Brent! It's great that you want to amp up your style and sounds like you've done some good research. I think Sharon has some good advice. A department store like Macy's or Nordstrom will be able to measure you for fitted shirts and help you put some things together. I would just take it slow while your fashion sense is evolving. I think guys look great in tailored khakis with a long-sleeve shirt with rolled up sleeves and a tie. You can add a jacket or cardigan as another layer. It would be great to have some premium denim jeans for casual Friday's. I like Hudson jeans for men. A nice watch is the perfect accessory.

GQ always has good advice for men and you could Google Lapo Elkann who is often considered one of the best dressed men in the world. Of course you'll want to keep everything office appropriate.

Here on YLF we take pictures of ourselves when we are trying to decide what we like. I always take my Smartphone and takes some pics in the dressing room. Somehow the view in the camera is much more revealing than the view in the mirror of how an items looks and fits and whether the color looks good on you.

Have fun finding your new wardrobe!

rabbit

Veteran

I went googling and this online series of articles looks like a great place to start also: http://effortlessgent.com/category/back-to-basics/

Joyce B

Veteran

Welcome to the forum!
The other thing you need is a good store for tall men. My husband and son are both 6'4" and slim and they have a hard time finding nice pants that are long enough. The "big and tall" stores are for overweight men, not for the slim. Apparently you cannot be both slim and tall if you need to find good pants.
Anyway, good luck with your search and keep us posted on where you find good pants.

Inge

(website)

Welcome Brent. You've definitely done a good deal of thinking and research already. That in combination with all the brilliant tips from the ladies above, and you're off to a very good start.

Here are a few links to older blog posts Angie wrote that might also be helpful:

- If you'd like to read a bit more about the right length for trousers and jeans:
http://youlookfab.com/2006/05/.....hs-please/

- Undergarment tees:
http://youlookfab.com/2006/10/.....s-for-men/

- Tips for a quick style refresher:
http://youlookfab.com/2013/07/.....h-for-men/

- Forum thread with info on good shirt lengths for men:
http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....th-for-men

Kbowen0188

Member

http://www.amazon.com/gp/produ.....VS5NH7N4AB Boots

http://www.amazon.com/gp/produ.....884EF99PVQ Shoes

If it helps, I have linked the style of boot I had in mind, as well as a pair of everyday work shoes that I thought looked nice. Every other day or so I have to lug heavy computers here and there, and end up walking on pavement instead of office floor. I thought a boot might be a better choice in this case, and they seemed dressy enough to me. Feel free and correct me if I am completely wrong. Is the Oxford shoe too casual?

When it comes to pant choice, EVERYONE in the department wears khakis. Even the head of the department usually wears khakis, though he sometimes switches to a dressier type of pant. With this in mind, is it still acceptable to go the step further and wear dress pants? Or is it better to fit in with the rest of my department, but to choose well-fitted khakis that are long enough and go with my shoes?

I really appreciate all of the advice, and I will be sitting down to read all of the linked articles.

Also, when it comes to money, I don't mind spending too horribly much, especially when it comes to shoes. The $170 price tag for the leather boots makes me choke a little bit, but I have never owned a leather shoe and I hear they are worth it. Everything else I need will be much, much cheaper, or at least I think it will be.

What is the opinion about shopping online? Is it possible to get measured in person, and then use these measurements to shop online? Or is it much much better to be able to try them on in person?

Thank you again for all of your help.

Anonymous

I have been putting my husband into Banana Republic no-iron shirts and khaki/trousers. You can get them on sale quite often, and they come in sizes for skinnier and tall people.

They wash well, and don't wrinkle, and are easy to mix and match. He wears boots/shoes like the ones you linked with it.

cloud9

Veteran

Welcome Brent! I too am very impressed as to how much homework you've done...

I'd check discount stores for pants/shoes/button shirtsfirst. TJ Maxx, Marshall's, Ross, etc. I often seen longer length pants there, and decent brands like tommy/Calvin Klein/Levi/ jones New York, at no much more than walmart prices.

My vote is to stay with khakis, but have at least one dress pants on hand, and where it once in a while. Get different colors, not just the typical beige color.

For the shoes, the boot look too dressy to just lug hardware on pavement, the oxford look more appropriate for that. You do want a pair of dress shoes, I wouldn't recommend a boot style for dressy shoe. Get an oxford or loafer, as classic as it gets.

JulieJohn

Veteran

Hi Brent, what a great post! I'm curious, what direction would be fun for YOU? Do you have an alter fashion ego, maybe Indiana Jones or some celebrity? You can use this persona as a direction for your fashion choices, so they feel distinctly like you. I find that it's way more fun dressing that way. You don't have to go the whole costume route, but if you like Indy, for example, you could add a leather jacket, or a watch with archeological styling.

gryffin

Veteran

Welcome Brent!! Sounds like you have a ton of great advice already. You can always post picture of things you are thinking of trying for opinions and of course do outfit posts. I thought I'd recommend a few short books that I thought were really helpful. My husband, does not care what he wears, so I did a bit of research to try and find him a comfortable "uniform" for work and casual wear. Sherrie Matheison has a website too but her books feature both men and women very real world advice. http://www.amazon.com/Forever-.....8& The Simple Chic books are awesome and have a ton of pictures. I think it's a great resource. http://www.amazon.com/Work-Clo.....d=13950694 Kim and Jeff have a whole series and I always find them excellent for inspiration. I threw this last one in, I have not seen it. But Lands End has good quality clothings, online ordering and great sales. It might be worth a look since they probably have everything they show and it could be one stop pretty reasonable shopping. http://www.amazon.com/Lands-En.....2&

deb

Veteran

Welcome!

rabbit

Veteran

I like both the boots and shoes you linked to, and to my eye would work in the kind of environment you describe. Like you say you need something comfortable and a little sturdy if lugging equipment - so the more casual lug sole makes sense to me. What color is your hair?

Dee

Veteran

Welcome Brent! It sounds like you've had some great suggestions.

Given your height, you may have better luck shopping online. My husband is 6'2" and often the talls (which you can only get online) from places like Banana Republic fit him just a little better than the regular sizes in stores.

As far as ordering online, it's totally fine, but you'll need 1) some idea of what your size is and 2) to try things on when they arrive. Again, for my husband, we used to order a variety of sizes from places where we could either return the item to a store or that gave free return shipping. It'll probably be hit and miss at first, but will get better one you have an idea of what works for you.

Mellllls

Veteran

Welcome. I know almost nothing about menswear but am looking forward yo your participation and learning along with you.

Taffy

Welcome Brent! As a 6' tall athlete who was having kids every 2 years, I just wore sweats or swishy athletic pants everyday before coming to YLF. It's a process that requires quite a bit of thought, effort, and awareness.. Everyone here will take good care if you. You can also check out http://www.dappered.com, he does a good job of explaining those things that many others seem to just get. (Not me or my DH though!) My husband checks in there consistently. Good luck, and just keep at it!

SandyG

Veteran

Hi Brent, welcome! For a quick visual overview to see what appeals to you re khakis and shirts, brouse the Eddie Bauer and LL Bean catalogs online. I order nonwrinkle shirts in the Tall sizes for my husband and can recommend them. 'Relaxed' vs 'sleek', comfortable vs tailored, dark vs light colors -- it's easier to sort this out first before you go shopping. And shopping takes energy, so treat it like honest work because it's hard at first Good luck with your changes.

Pat Chenell

Welcome Brent! You have taken a terrific first step just by being here and reaching out for help. I too agree that there is lots of great advice in the responses above. I am personally not a fan of khakis on guys or girls, but if they are the standard in your department, and if you remain comfortable wearing them, make sure they fit well. If your budget permits, have 2 pairs of leather shoes/boots and alternate them daily; they will last longer if allowed to air out after a wearing. If you decide to step up to dress pants for some days, consider a suit, with each piece able to be worn separately, for example, the jacket with a great pair of dark jeans and a button up shirt, and the pants with perhaps a collared t-shirt or shirt with a subtle print, to dress it down. I like the shoe and boot you linked-to. I find that the heavy texture of the shoe makes it fairly casual, as does the laces on the boots. In my opinion, smoother, shinier leathers tend to be dressier. For boots, consider also a slip-on Beatle-boot style. If you like that sort of thing, it can be a design element that becomes a signature for you. I really look forward to learning what decisions you make in your style journey. Kind regards,

froggiebecky

Veteran

Hello and Welcome, Brent!

First of all, I wanted to commend you for reaching out. You are exactly right that appearances do matter in the workplace, insofar as it's easier for someone to be convinced of your competence when you look the part. It sounds like you've done a lot of homework already, and you've gotten lots of great advice above.

Since you've got a supply of khakis already, I would actually caution against going with a white-button down shirt as your first purchase. To me at least, the two don't go together very well without some other pieces to round out the look. The same with the suit..you might find you need one, but you probably don't need one tomorrow. My brother works in IT, and likes shirts like this to break up the monotony of khakis and polos:

http://www.kohls.com/product/p.....g-tall.jsp

Something like that, with a smaller pattern, reads as more business casual, than, say, this:

http://www.kohls.com/product/p.....rt-men.jsp

Which has both a larger plaid and big camp-shirt pockets on the front. This makes it more casual, and not really suitable for work. Short sleeve or long sleeve, depending on your preferences.

If you're feeling adventurous, my dad (another IT professional) swears by hawaiian shirts for casual fridays, because the fabric is nice, and they're collared. (He's in his 60s and is in Texas. Location might be at play here) Again, print is key. Something like this:

http://www.kohls.com/product/p.....-shirt.jsp

And not that:

http://www.kohls.com/product/p.....rt-men.jsp

The shoes you link to seem suitable to me, and practical for the activity you describe. Since you've already got some black shoes, brown might be a good choice for some variety. Shop around, and save up to invest in some decent leather shoes. Though they have a high price tag, they should last you a very long time. Wear them on days when you know you won't be hauling around equipment.

If you'd like some variety in pants, perhaps look for some different colours. Grey, caramel brown (darker than khaki), olive green, navy.

Hope this helps. Good luck, and keep us posted!

abc

Veteran

This thread is so much fun! Thank you for having the guts to post. I don't think you will regret it.

As for khakis, just say no to pleats

Emily

Veteran

Hi Brent! My Husband and I both work IT jobs in banks, too. He often wears khakis with a polo, button down, or zippered sweater + tee on top and looks quite stylish. I think you are on the right track that the details make a huge difference: Fit and cut have to be excellent, and you need a great watch, shoes and a nice belt. Prepare to shop around and try on lots of things to find the perfect fit, and then you have the option to duplicate in different colours. My husband likes skechers and has a pair of suede "winter" converse with a shearling lining that he wears to work, so I say give those Timberland boots a shot - I bet they work for work with kahkis and on the weekend with jeans.

Lucy

Veteran

Brent, thanks for starting such a great post!

My hubby works in IT, so yes, I've seen the outfits! My best advice is to never, ever wear the free t-shirts and polos you get at trade events, advertising IT stuff! Woah, that is not a good look.
Perhaps it is more casual here in Australia, but my hubbie tends to wear good new dark jeans (Levi's with a good fashionable cut - the people in the shop can guide), with an ironed shirt, often checks. He often wears Vans, or sometimes leather shoes. I think the key is to make it all kind of well groomed, ie good new Vans are better than old scuffy leather shoes. We live in Sydney so it is too hot in summer to wear a jacket, but in winter he wears a lightweight tailored coat, a leather jacket or a khaki bomber. I think he looks cute

lyn67

Veteran

Nice to meet you Brent! You are in the best place, and bet you'll be the most stylish guy there in a blink of an eye, after forum members and Angie sorted you out! I can so appreciate asking for proffesional/insiders help, here! First step is already done! Yeay!:-)

April

Veteran

Here are some changes that my husband has made over the past ten years or so that have definitely upped his style quotient.

-- ditching all his pleat-front dress pants in favor of flat fronts. He even had some pleat-front khakis in the bunch, but those are now gone.

-- ditching his cuffed dress pants and khakis for the cleaner look of a straight hem.

-- ditching his light-wash old-school jeans for a style of Levis that's extremely dark and very straight. He particularly loves this wash, for the fact that its Levis label is black instead of tan: http://www.zappos.com/levis-me.....-inky-blue

-- realizing that his dress loafers look great with the dark wash jeans above, and putting aside his boat shoes for the most part.

-- trading in gold wire-rimmed specs for something snappier and more current.

-- trading in a blousy, traditional windbreaker for a more sleek outdoor jacket. In case you're not sure what I mean, his old spring/fall jacket was this traditional style:

http://www.josbank.com/menswea.....050_102323

and he traded that for something with a straighter, slimmer cut, like this:

http://www.zappos.com/calvin-k.....cket-black

-- recognizing that he does better with a "uniform" of sorts. For him, this means weekends in winter are dark jeans, cashmere v-neck, HeatTech underlayer peeking out at the neck. He sticks to charcoal gray, black, and a few shades of green. Weekends in summer are the same jeans with a black, white, or charcoal polo. Easy.

rabbit

Veteran

I'm making notes off your list April and looking through my husband's closet for areas to upgrade Luckily the khakis are all flat front/no cuff.

viva

Veteran

Hi Brent!
I think it would be good to do your initial shopping in-person so that you can find brands that fit well and styles that work. Then you can fill in with online shopping. If you have the ability to spend a weekend looking around (or, as Rae suggested, with a stylist at a department store) I think you'll really benefit from trying a number of things on. If you're at all like my husband, once you find what you like, you will then be quite happy to order more of the same (different colors maybe) online, rather than venture into another store ... but at least you will know that you'll be satisfied with what appears on your doorstep. I'm not sure men have quite the endurance required for the order/try-on/return/order-more cycle one can get into with online shopping!

I like both the boots and the shoes you linked to. Timberland is a good brand for the work you do with all the heavy lifting. Their shoes tend to be really comfortable and they wear well. Plus they have great styles that are rugged but also semi-polished. Another option could be something like this: a wingtip that has been dressed down, that has comfort technology and a casual sole. I really like these from Cole-Haan: http://www.colehaan.com/lunarg.....y#cgid=men

Good luck -- and let us know how you get on!!

This post has 1 photo. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

12