Congratulations for pulling the plug on this! I have been where you are, and when finally got the courage to leave my mean-spirited, gaslighting husband, lo and behold I met my lovely, beautifully kind new husband who has never made me cry and has never said a cross word to me since we met. There are kind men out there and you deserve to be with someone who treats you kindly.
The magic can't happen until you have the courage to leave. Come on over -- it's great here on the other side!