How to survive SYC - YouLookFab Forum

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How to survive SYC

devon7

(website)

After spending too much money at my first NAS pre-shop (about a month ago), I decided that I needed to go to SYC for at least a few months and maybe for the rest of the year. However, I have NOT done well at sticking to this so far! I went back to Nordstrom twice to return or exchange some of my NAS purchases, and I ended up buying MORE stuff! I have now spent ALL of my clothing budget for 2011 and it's only the beginning of August.

I know there are some people here who have been successful with SYC, so I'm hoping you can provide me with some words of wisdom. What has made SYC successful for you? How can I stop myself from wanting more and especially from BUYING more?

I am feeling quite discouraged and frustrated with myself at present, but I know I just need to forgive myself and move forward. Any suggestions or support you can provide will be greatly appreciated!

Shopping

23 replies

Latest reply was from Mo

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I hide half of my clothes in my closet; and have half of it on a little rack I put at the foot of my bed. I think it's a rolling closet rack; or something like this. Anyhow, I only put together outfits from the clothes at the foot of my bed, and every 2 weeks, I swap in/out of the closet, so it's like literally SYC I put things I didn't wear back in the closet. Things that don't come out of the closet in a few rotations get closer to the donating bin.

KeepTheKey

(website)

Wow lyn, you're one smart cookie!

annette

I recently started using stylebook on my IPad to look for new ways to use my clothes. I can create and save outfits. I can also introduce an item I haven't purchased yet and see if it would play well with others. I think a similar concept could be done in other ways. I also copy looks into it and then try to recreate them with the clothing I have. It is addictive.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Don't shop. Just don't set foot in any store (or mall) that sells things that tempt you. Toss any catalogs/ads/coupons as soon as they come in the mail, and unsubscribe from any retail email lists you are on.

Kappy

Veteran

If I was on SYC I'd do everything chewysays and: avoid fashion magazines, avoid fashion blogs/websites, avoid malls/clothing stores, avoid clothing sections in other stores (like Target, etc...). Spend all that "new" time in your closet creating outfits.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

lol; thanks!

I also love StyleBook; but it doesn't work (yet) on iPad, so it's a bit inconvenient for me

bj1111

Veteran

srly, khris' advice is the way to go. remove yourself from temptation. it can be difficult when you go on ylf and everyone is talking about some fab purchase or sporting drool-worthy outfits that you would to have yourself. how do you feel about a ylf-fast is it comes to that?

i find saving for a big ticket item as a goal motivates me more than just "saving". what would you like to be able to do 6 months from now? take a small trip, not go further into credit card debt, buy a slammin' purse or pair of super expensive shoes? spend sometime thinking about your savings goal.

reward yourself with little--and i mean leetle (preferably no cost)--treats to avoid syc fatigue. i hear you about the difficulty. i think it will come down to what you want more. so conceptualize your goal and make it tangible.

rosee

Veteran

Have a clearly defined goal and plan to how you will approach your SYC. I wrote out a little "contract" with myself:
http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....very-wordy
Other SYCers like Kate also had a clear approach to how to go about it.
I do like Lyn*'s method too, but don't have the space in my room to pull that method off.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

For me, it's very hard and I've never completely succeeded. My first attempt was only a few months after joining here. Hard time to start a SYC! But what it did for me was seriously curtail my shopping and make each decision a very big and important one. The result was some great workhorses that I'm so glad I got - and 2 mistakes I never wear lol. This time around I sneaked through some loopholes so I can't say I've had success yet. BUT, once again, my loophole purchases were heavily weighed. I'm trying to hold strong from now until whenever I move back to CA - which I don't really know except that it'll likely be by xmas? I still browse online and I know that's a temptation best left alone. I am playing in my closet a bit more this time through, though. After all, it's Shop Your Closet, not merely Don't Buy Clothes. I think discovering and trying new mixes with what you have really can be fun and ease the pain of not getting anything new.

lynn

Veteran

I haven't tried it yet but I need to! I'm paying close attention to all this advice.

Kate

Veteran

I like what Khris said. I'm one month in with absolutely no clothing purchases, and in that month I haven't received any shopping emails, set foot in a mall (or Target), and every coupon/flyer that comes in the mail goes directly into the recycling. I have looked at things online, but only looking. Nothing is added to my shopping cart, and so far my online browsing has served more as reinforcement that there's nothing out there that I have to have. I can live without all of it.

I think that the less you prepare or allow yourself to break SYC, the more likely you are to survive it. I did SYC for a little while at the beginning of this year, but my attitude was more of a "hmmm, let's see how this goes..." than an "I'm doing this!" I made it 40 days of official SYC (2+ months of not shopping though, I just didn't declare SYC at the beginning). I found some shoes that are true workhorses (I could get rid of all of my other heels and be ok with this pair) and some great clothes, and so that was that. This time ALL of my holes are filled (and then some...) and I'm fully committed. I have no needs, only wants. And I keep that in mind every time I see something I like.

Marley

Veteran

What Chewy said. What Kate said. Remove all temptation. Go cold-turkey. Substitute the time that you ordinarilly spend shopping or looking at on-line shopping sites with other activities that you really love. Just look at it as one day at a time. When I first started I would still once in awhile see something on YLF that I really WANTED - but I would tell myself to just hold off for a day or two and see how I felt. That method would take away the adrenaline rush about wanting the item and a few days later I'd be "over it." Use YLF as a support system. Look at this time SYCing to create "surprises" in you wardrobe! Have fun!

Kelly

(website)

1) Just keep telling yourself "I have no money left to shop"

2) Put together outfits with your clothes and hang them up in your closet that way instead of individual items. See how many outfits you can make. I try to do this when I am working because it makes getting ready in the morning a lot easier, but for you, I think it could help you to see that you do have enough clothes.

3) The advice of not even going to any stores is great. And when you are tempted to buy online, just think "Do I really want to waste all that money on shipping and return shipping charges? No, I don't!"

4) If you do find yourself tempted and in a store, carefully look at whatever you are planning to buy and think about it and why you want to buy it and ask yourself if you really need it. Chances are, you don't. For example one day I was in a store and tried on a black tank top that fit great, looked great, and I really liked it. Then I changed back into my clothes and realized I had come in wearing...a black tank top. I put the one I'd tried on back on the rack because I just didn't need yet another black tank top (I think I had 1 or 2 more at home, too).

5) When you see outfits online that inspire you, ask yourself what you already have that is similar that you can use to create a similar outfit. Don't think you need to have the exact same item. See how creative you can be by using what you have to create something with the same feel to it.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Another great SYC ploy is to start a new project or hobby. Join a book club, try a new exercise form, start a garden, do a sewing/knitting/crochet project, learn to cook/bake something new. Just be sure you're not siphoning your shopping money into your project, because that sort of defeats the point.

Vildy

Veteran

I heard a startling assertion by Alison Armstrong on the Dennis Prager radio show.
She said, and he agreed, "No one's life is made better by getting what they *want*.
Only by getting what they need,"

Lisa

Veteran

A lot of great advice here. I don't think I have anything new to add but my 3 keys I keep trying to implement are:
1-removing temptation as much as possible
2-looking for outfit inspiration from photos
3-remixing my clothes into new combinations

devon7

(website)

Thank you SO MUCH to all who responded! I apologize for not responding sooner, but I've been going through a bit of a slump (somewhat related to my shopping issues, but not completely) over the past few days and haven't been visiting YLF as much.

What I've done so far:

1) I've "gotten real," so to speak. I entered all of my recent purchases into QuickBooks so I know where I stand. It was a bit of a shock, but I am in favor of honesty over avoidance.

2) I have removed myself from a number of email lists for stores. The less I see that I want to buy (or sales temptations), the better. I will continue to remove myself from lists as they come in.

3) I have spent some time in my closet looking at what I have and playing with various combinations. In truth, I have A LOT of new items that haven't even been worn yet (and some which still may be returned), so I can get that "new clothes excitement" from within my closet.

4) I have been mentally preparing myself NOT to shop. Simple, but not easy. I know I get a big emotional boost from shopping, so I'm having to brace myself for the fact that I won't be able to deal with my troubles through "retail therapy" and I will have to find other coping mechanisms. This will be an ongoing process.

I really like MANY of the suggestions I received. I won't comment to each individual because there are too many, but I will comment on some of the suggestions which I found most helpful and what I plan to implement. I also want to say that I very much appreciated the support and understanding which many of you expressed. It really does help to feel "heard" and "understood" on such a sensitive issue as compulsive shopping.

@Vildy - I LOVE Alison Armstrong and listen to her whenever she's on the Dennis Prager show! I remember when she made the comment, "No one's life is made better by getting what they *want*, only by getting what they need." So very true! Although I love fashion and clothes, what I really NEED is on a much deeper level. Doing SYC will force me to get those needs met in my constructive and lasting ways.

@Kelly - I like your suggestion to tell myself, "I have no money left to shop." I am already using this line, and will use it with my shopping friends, as I know I don't have the strength to shop with them and not buy anything. We will have to do other things when we get together until I am able to shop again.

@Lyn - Love your suggestion about using a rack with a limited number of items with which to create outfits. I may modify that somewhat to a section of my closet, but I like the idea of using a smaller number of items so as not to be overwhelmed with my huge closet!

@bj1111 - I like the idea of saving for a big-ticket item. I don't have something in mind at present, but I will ponder what I could use to help motivate myself. Good idea!

@rosee - Your plan is great! I think I will come up with something similar for myself. Best of luck with your very ambitious and highly worthy endeavor this year!

@chewyspaghetti - You gave a lot of great suggestions! I know you are doing SYC, so you know a lot about it and how to cope. I like the new hobby suggestion. Shopping is my main hobby, so I could use a new one. Thinking about what I could so instead...

ALL - Thank you so much! I do need to remove myself from temptation, but I don't want to remove myself from this group! I think this forum will be helpful to me, as long as I approach the outfits I see with a "how can I create that from what I have?" attitude instead of a "I want to buy that exact item!" attitude. I am sure I can create many combinations I see here, as I DO have a lot of clothes - LOL. I may need to tweak certain elements, but I'm guessing that I can capture the vibe I see fairly well by getting creative in my own closet.

I will miss the mall, especially my favorite store (Nordstrom), but the mall will be there when I am able to shop again (probably late in the year). I am guessing that I will become a more stylish dresser by doing SYC, as I will have to be more creative and work with what I have. I will report back from time to time to let you all know how I'm doing.

Many, many thanks for all of the support and suggestions!

nicoleb

(website)

Veteran

Honestly the only way i can do a successful SYC is to avoid all temptation. Don't open sale emails, look at fashion stuff online, websites etc. If i don't know it exists i can't buy it!

But i have to take the extreme route because i have pretty much zero willpower. >.>

Kelly

(website)

You're welcome. And, honestly, the "I have no money to shop" is one I use all the time

Louise

Veteran

I prefer to just cut back on my spending. Like dieting if I go totally cold turkey I inevitably fall of the wagon in a spectacular fashion and binge (eat or shop) and also not to shop unless there is something I need x

Kim

Veteran

I still used Youlookfab and other sites for inspiration and then made up my outfits based on what I already had in my closet. I played around with what I had and only allowed myself to restyle anything I wanted that I already owned, but nothing new was added. I wanted to see where the holes were (if there were any) but I chose not to fill them til the end of my SYC

I kept a running list in my dresser of the the things I *had* to have, and then waited to see if I "needed" them more than once. Every time I thought "this outfit really needs a XYZ" I'd write it down and put a check mark by it everytime I thought I'd want to have it for another outfit. I figured this way when I finally did shop (after 3 months) I'd be buying workhorses and not impulse buys.

SYC really helped me change my attitude about shopping a lot. I'm still using my SYC mentality, and thinking "Why am a looking at another black and white dress? I already have 2 at home that would work quite well for my needs." I have cut my shopping drastically!

It's hard, and you will learn alot about yourself. Do you know "why" you had to have the items that you purchased after NAS? When you figure that out about yourself you'll be way ahead. Knowing *why* you shop (when you don't need to) is a useful little detail in keeping your budget balanced.

I also allowed myself a few little niceties like new nail polish. Amazing what a new color would do for my mood when I was busting to shop! LOL

bj1111

Veteran

*hugs* -- it is a process. kudos to you for trying to replace shopping with more productive coping mechanisms.

re girlfriend time--how about inviting them over for a byob clothing swap! or a shop-devon's-closet evening! this way you still get some quality time with them. they probably have too much stuff as well and want to just spend time with you.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Or have everything you ordered end up not fitting or working out and getting returned anyway! Enough of that and SYC looks like a respite from the mail insanity after a while lol.