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How to shop (or not) while losing weight?

Ariadne

Veteran

I'm a little uncertain about broaching this topic out of fear I'll jinx myself! But I'm in the process of losing weight, after making some progress just over a year ago and then gaining it all back upon baby #2's arrival. My initial goal is to lose around 25-30 lbs, at a rate of around 5 lbs per month, by counting calories.

I know some of you have BTDT. I'd love some advice on how to dress and shop strategically as I go through this process. Are certain items (dresses?) more forgiving than others (jeans?) of changing sizes and body shapes? What's a workable minimum number of items of clothing I could get by with? My lifestyle is almost 100% MOTG-in-the-extreme; typical activities include scrubbing crusted baby food off highchairs, walking through the forest to the library on wood-chip trails, pushing a double stroller through the rain at a fast clip, kneeling on a wet dirty floor in a swimming pool change room dressing a soaked wriggly baby, etc. Movies or church are typically my fanciest activities.

My dominant season is fall, and the stores are full of those clothes at the moment. I want to buy all kinds of things, but that would be silly, right? I know we have to dress the bodies we have, but how to translate that when if all goes well (and I'm pretty dedicated, so I think it will), by next year or even 6 months from now I won't be able to wear any of the clothes that would fit me now? And I want to be putting aside money that I can look forward to spending on a whole new wardrobe within, hopefully, the next year. I'm not too pleased with my "style persona" at the moment and the idea of a fresh start is very appealing.

I have some major wardrobe holes I *need* to fill (at least one puffer, a rain trench with hood, a casual blazer, ballet flats, several types of boots, at least a handful of tops and sweaters/cardis).

I know we've talked about how to dress and shop strategically while losing weight on the forum in the past, but the threads I remember reading were from quite a while ago and I can't find them anymore. I'll be listening and taking notes to any and all advice! Oh, and if anyone has great low-calorie recipes, please feel free to spam my message box....

16 replies

Latest reply was from Ariadne

Ann in New England

Yes, I've BTDT and I would say that you do NOT do what I did. I lost the weight that I wanted to lose in about 6 months (35 lbs) and bought a ton of new things in my new size, especially pants and jeans, which I needed desperately. However, my weight loss program consisted of diet *and* exercise -- and when I lost the weight, I kept up with both. Over the next year, exercise continued to change my body, even though the scale stayed roughly the same. And I shrunk another 1-2 dress sizes. I just purged the "intermediate" clothes from my closet, and bought another wardrobe yet again. Thankfully, most of my shirts & tops still fit, though I could probably wear a size down if I really wanted to replace them. But pants and blazers had to go.

So, my advice: remember that it's not just about the number on the scale; your body composition can change, too, if you are excercising and replacing fat with muscle.

I think if you buy things that can be easily tailored, you can avoid some of the issues I had. Skirts, for instance, are fairly easy to take in. I wouldn't spend a lot on jeans (Old Navy got me through my weight loss, although every single pair seems to fit differently so try on the exact pair you're going to buy). And your shoe size shouldn't change, so I say go hog wild there.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I can't say I've BTDT but I do think dresses, particularly knit or stretch, are a good bet for size fluctuations. Since it is fall, maybe a sweaterdress or two, over leggings or even jeans, and tall flat boots would work well. Basic jersey knit dresses are super easy, too.

BethL

(website)

Veteran

I've BTDT, too. I lost over 50 pounds in a little over a year, and, so, I had to strategically buy a few new things every so often because my clothes were just huge on me. One of the things that I had to do, and this is only my experience, was to buy new jeans when the ones I had became too baggy; the saggy butt was not making me feel good about myself (that's why I haven't jumped on the boyfriend jeans wagon yet). I kept haunting Marshall's and TJ Maxx. I didn't care what brand they were, as long as they fit well and weren't expensive. I was able to make do then with sweaters and things for a longer length of time because my jeans fit. I didn't buy tailored items unless I had to. Shoes, bags, cool jewelry, and scarves got me through because they took attention away from the fact that my clothes didn't always fit very well. There are very few things from my old wardrobe that I feel like having tailored, so I have been donating most of them. I still have some things now that are a little big that I'm going to have to use for awhile, like my ski jacket, but it's not so big that it's really noticeable. Over the last nine months or so, I've been having a great time slowly re-outfitting my wardrobe, especially since I found YLF. I did save a few key pieces from the last time I lost weight (let's hope I don't have to do that again!), like my black leather aviator jacket.

I lost a great deal more weight than you're planning to lose, so my body changed more drastically than yours probably will. As I continue to exercise, I'm also continuing to see some more changes in my body, as Ann mentioned above. Your clothes from now probably won't fit well when you reach your goal, although maybe some will. I'd buy strategically, as you need to, so that you feel good about yourself while you're doing this cool thing for yourself. The good thing about so many of the on trend clothing that's out there right now is that so much of it has a lot of stretch in it. That should help you be able to wear things a bit longer and would be good for your lifestyle, I bet. Long and loose over fitted worked well for me; I don't know if that would work for your body type. I wish you the best of the best of luck!

Ariadne

Veteran

Great advice, everyone!

I've been thinking all week about how I can really use this time to hone my eye, my style goals, and my shopping plan. I want to focus a lot on thinking about exactly what I like in clothing, what colors truly flatter me, and on defining, refining, and RESTRICTING my style. I'd like a much smaller but more versatile, quality, and "intense" wardrobe--by intense, I mean pieces that really pack a punch and don't require lots of gussying-up. I'm thinking of things like the Bailey44 dress, Una's Trouve leather jacket and Theory blazer, Rae's MMK agate-print dress, Suz's new taupe silk tunic... that kind of thing. Mixed, of course, with simple anchoring essentials like dark wash skinnies, tall boots, etc.

This means I'll probably be posting a lot of long, rambling, obsessive threads about things like colors and terminology and the minutiaea of moto jackets!

Mo, I'm strongly leaning towards focusing on knit (jersey or sweater-type) dresses and leggings with various types of flat shoes and boots, plus scarves (and jewelry once baby grows out of the grabby phase). That's such a great MOTG formula, and I love wearing dresses and boots. I'm badly in need of shoes and boots so I plan to spend most of my clothing money on those.

Ann, that's a great point about body composition and exercise. I was doing a lot of weight lifting before baby #2 and I plan to get back into that within a month. I'm taking these changes one at a time so I don't overload myself. Right now I'm focusing on getting used to eating within my new calorie limit, and on getting up early (which I need to do every day if I'm going to fit the gym into my schedule--and I need to go to the gym to exercise, there's no other way for me right now). Those two things are going well, so in another week or two I can probably add in exercise. I know that will make me more hungry, so I'll need to really focus on protein and fruit/veggies, even more than I am already.

BethL, I think I'll be avoiding tailored items as much as possible too. What I think I want to do is find two or three versatile structured toppers (I'd like a casual knit blazer and a pleater moto, I think, and maybe a more structured sweater/cardi of some sirt) and use those heavily to add structure to otherwise primarily stretch/jersey outfits.

BethL

(website)

Veteran

I love what you said about honing, defining, refining, and focusing on thinking about your wardrobe. I've been doing that, too, and I don't think I necessarily would have been able to articulate it had I not read what you wrote. Thanks! I also like the idea of having pieces that pack a punch. I'm not sure I want to restrict my style, but I do want to restrict my wardrobe so that it really works and fits my budget. I want to be thoughtful about it, and I want it to be true to me.

Ariadne

Veteran

The reason I want to restrict my style is that right now I'm drawn to (and buy) items from all over the style map. The result is a wardrobe that's not very workable or coherent. And I really want a coherent wardrobe. I'm realizing that I need to figure out the difference between clothes I love ON OTHER PEOPLE and clothes I love ON ME. I'm buying things (styles of things) I love on other people, wearing them once or twice, not feeling great in them... and am slowly realizing that's because I don't love them ON ME. So I need to figure out which is which. Does that make sense?

rachylou

Veteran

Pants are the hardest thing to fit. My recommendation: Go easy on the pants buying. I've spent a fortune buying the same pants over and over again.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Yes I've "been there, done that" (that's what BTDT means, right? I'm always guessing at the abbreviations) twice -- once for each baby. It goes both ways, of course -- getting fatter on the way toward delivery, and thinner on the way back! It took about a year, both times, to get back to my original size and shape (well, more or less, after baby number two...). What worked for you on the way up -- i.e. as you got bigger during your pregnancy? The same things should work on the way down, only now you don't have the inconvenience of a smooth hard belly that gets in the way of holding up your pants.

For me personally, dresses and skirts worked better than pants. Even a small difference in waist size changes the way my jeans fit. I'd try to avoid buying too many pairs of pants. Stretchy leggings and long, waist-surrendering tunics are good too. You can change size quite a lot and a tunic will still fit you.

ETA just read your last comment. Yes, I know exactly what you mean about loving something on other people but not on yourself! My best friend is a beautiful woman with impeccable taste, and when we were younger I'd often try to emulate her style. It never worked. It took me about ten years (I'm a slow learner) to work out that the reason some things look fab on her and dreadful on me is because she's a pretty pear with a long torso, and I'm a short, slender rectangle. Duh. It works both ways, though. I can pull off things that would look silly on her -- although she has the good sense not to try.

BethL

(website)

Veteran

Ariadne, it totally makes sense. And now that you've explained it, I'm totally with you. I've been doing that, too, and I've been succeeding pretty well, I think. I'm mostly pretty clear on what suits me, though I can't quite articulate what my style is. Good for you for your epiphany. I think that's huge.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I would advise you NOT to do what I did, which was wear my old clothes until all the weight was gone, and then one day realize that everything was falling off me!

I lost about 35 pounds in 6 months. And that is what happened. I quickly bought a pile of stuff at thrift stores and at big sale prices on a trip to New York. It wasn't ideal, but at least I had things to put on. And since then I have regularly been buying, purging, buying, purging...or returning, as the case may be. (See yesterday's and today's posts).

I concur with the advice to aim for dresses and skirts while you are losing. Knits are good, because they forgive. And focusing on footwear is ideal, because your shoe size won't change.

If you need winter coats this year, it might be wise to make do with very inexpensive or consignment/ thrift purchases, because you will likely need new ones next year, and they are costly at regular price. For a casual blazer, a knit version might be comfortable and inexpensive.

Ariadne

Veteran

Elisabeth, I'm not dealing with pregnancy weight--that wasn't very clear, was it? I adopted my kids But #2's adoption was a surprise that happened very quickly. I pretty much ate comfort and convenience foods for 6 months as we all adjusted and dealt with the craziness, and voila, I found myself reacquainted with the 12 lbs I'd lost. I had just gotten to the point where my sizes were starting to shift, and then gained it all back.

BethL, that's great that you've succeeded in honing your sense of what suits you!

Suz, a knit blazer is my Holy Grail. I will be singing from the rooftops if I can find one that fits my broad shoulders and relatively narrow waist without making me look like I belong in an office or on a football field.

I'm going to inventory and get DH to take pics of me in all my current coats to see if I can perhaps make it through one more year without replacing any of them. If I keep my current puffer, duct tape will be required (on the inside)...

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Well don't do what I did. I thought my goal size was a size ten in pants. When I got to that size I bought a lot of expensive items. I ended up going to size eight. I sold at a major loss or gave away a lot of those clothes.

JR

Veteran

Ariadne, I would also advise against fitted blouses. They are not forgiving at all. When I buy button-downs, I try to buy one without princess seams, and preferably even without darts. Then they will travel down with you quite nicely.

I have haunted clearance racks and thrift stores. I usually buy tight or even too small to wear, which I know is breaking the "buy for the body you have now" rule. But I have spent the last three years in constant loss mode, and the rare times I have followed that advice, I have regretted it. On the positive side, I have felt very free to experiment, knowing that I wasn't paying much and that it would be purged with the year anyway.

I purge regularly, even things I dearly love. As soon as they're too big, they are in the donate closet, which I clear out regularly. I am burning my bridges behind me. I also keep a reward drawer, stacked with my clearance rack finds. Whenever I lose a pound, I pull another item out of the drawer. I do make exceptions for items that are really necessary that I need now. They go straight into active rotation.

I like Ann's (and Anna's) advice, because I have been thinking the same thing, that once I reach my final weight, I might not have reached my final size. I will probably continue looking for bargains, and then gradually replacing my wardrobe with better quality instead of trying to do it all in one pop. I do find I am getting impatient though...

qfbrenda

Veteran

I lost 30 lbs about a year and a half ago, so I feel for you. You've gotten great advice so I'll just add this one trick I did: I would buy a cotton top that JUST fit. It wasn't too small, but I wouldn't want it any smaller. When it got too big from losing weight, I would wash the top in hot water to shrink it a bit. Then it would fit again for a while.

DonnaF

Veteran

I've found that expensive clothes are more forgiving of weight losses and gains; it must be something in the way they are cut combined with the better drape of nicer fabric. So cheap stuff accommodates a 5-7 pound fluctuation at best, and better stuff is good for 10 pounds and maybe more. YMMV, but that has been my experience.

Ariadne

Veteran

Taking notes--thanks everyone! I'm going to really focus on taking this time to think a lot about where I want to go with my style. It's a great opportunity in that way.