How to dial it back? - YouLookFab Forum

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Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

How to dial it back?

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

As most of you know my fashion tastes run to the expensive side. Unfortunately a huge source of my fun money has changed. My hospital has changed the reimbursement for call and I will get paid far less. We used to get a minimum two hours for every call back, now we will only get the actual time. This is not standard, as most of my former classmates at other hospitals get 2-3 hours for each call back. I was also promised a raise this year which did not materialize. Unfortunately the job market is very tight in the Seattle area in my field.
So I need to cut back. I really don't eat out a lot. I live in a fairly modest condo. I even take the bus to work to save money. Fashion was my major indulgence.
I'm not a fan of Forever 21 for various reasons. I don't mind H&M though. I guess I could try thrifting. Suggestions, ideas or other insights?

Shopping

40 replies

Latest reply was from velvetychocolate

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Anna, the easiest thing to do in this situation is set yourself a monthly "fun fashion indulgence" budget - one that is realistic and does not put you into debt. When it is spent - it's gone. You have to wait till next month.

Ana

(website)

Veteran

Could you try shopping higher end consignment stores? I'm also a big fan of Nordstrom Rack and Neiman Marcus Last Call. Plus the Net-a-porter and The Outnet clearance sales. I don't shop ebay since it's usually final sale and I can't try the item on first, but it seems a lot of YLFers have good luck going that route. It's hard, but you just have to train yourself to be extremely picky.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I second the Rack. I take ALL my clients to the Rack. If you are between a size 6 and 10, you will do VERY well in the designer section of the Rack.

Jonesy

Veteran

That is tough! It seems like there are several different approaches. One is shopping your (fab) closet and satisfying your desire for newness with relatively inexpensive, frequent purchases. There are tons of places to buy clothes for not too much money. I never shop at F21, but I can make out like a bandit at the Rack, for example. Another approach is to, again, SYC, but save and splurge on more expensive items, less frequently. A third approach would be to figure out what items give you the most pleasure at the high end (shoes? jackets?) and budget a decent chunk toward those things, with lesser items being purchased at cheaper prices.

Just some thoughts....

ETA: I posted at the same time as Ana and Angie--we all have the Rack on our minds, apparently :)! It does require a bit of patience though (vs. getting the spending urge and going for something at full price on the spot).

Irene

Veteran

It sucks that your salary has been reduced. I guess you will have to either buy less or buy cheaper, there's no way around that. I understand you are a very fashion-forward dresser, so maybe going for the crazy trends at a lower price is not such a bad idea. I know that once you are used to the good stuff... not so good stuff looks actually pretty bad. I don't know what to say. The other option is as Angie said, save a shopping budget.

I can't talk about thrifting since it's not very much done here where I live.

Claudia

Veteran

Add to your hobbies and interests so it's not so focused on shopping.

Stay out of expensive boutiques, and those department store areas. You can't be tempted if you don't see and touch it.

Make real bargain hunting for higher-end clothing a hobby. Learn to stalk sales and discount sources for the designers and looks you love. Realize you'll win some and lose some, but there will always be something new to want.

Shop your closet for real -- and for an extended period of time. Really use what you have. Read more, walk more, meet friends more often.

I think the main thing is finding other interests that give you a similar satisfaction and rush that buying new clothing does.

christieanne

Veteran

Make sure your workplace knows you will pick up OT if that is available (covering for co-workers?). Are there high end consignment stores in Seattle? You may have things you are bored with that you can consign and then turn that into fun shopping $. I have respent my consignment $ at those stores usually because they give an extra discount and since I didn't want the original item anyway, it was really a "churn".

Set up a budget and stick to it is really the only thing - Rack is an option for sure. You may have to avoid Intermix as much as possible.

Anonymous

Anna, I'm so sorry about your fun money. That's a major bummer! Having to put yourself on a budget probably feels restrictive and not too exciting right about now. *moment of silence* Srsly, you need to mourn a little bit before we start blowing sunshine at you.

Are you done yet? Okay. Well, the good news is you have a closet full of high quality designer items that aren't going to wear out anytime soon. So yay for that. Now that I think about it, don't you normally dress in mostly high-end clothing? Maybe you could start experimenting with more of a high-low mix. That way this could be about evolving your style too, not just about dealing with restricted resources. I'm not saying you have to join the freegans and start dumpster diving for your threads or anything. But maybe there's some street fashion that you admire that already incorporates more low-end items. If not, maybe you could find some new blogs that appeal to you where this is the focus. They would be a good source of ideas. Yes you need to budget, but this is very mental. I think a key for you would be to make this about style as much as it is about money.

Good luck sweetie. We'll be here for you!

ironkurtin

Veteran

Anna, first, how good are you at being disciplined? Are you a cold turkey person? A needs-a-plan person? I think your happiness here will depend on how you respond best.

MsMary

Veteran

Anna, I'm so sorry about your reduced circumstances. Times is hard!

Honestly, I don't even look at the stores at which you have been shopping. Neiman's, Saks, Net a Porter -- they are outside my budget so I just don't go there. They don't exist for me so I'm not tempted.

I third, fourth, and fifth the Rack. Love it.

LOVE consignment stores. Almost every actual "designer" item I have was bought second-hand. My silk jersey DVF wrap dress was bought at the consignment store for something like $85! Ditto my Missoni skirt with the tags still on. (Okay that one was on the Upper East Side in NYC, but still...)

And yes, you gotta have a budget. It sucks, but there it is.

Anonymous

This is a tough situation! Having a budget is a good starting point. But in reality, you may want to focus on changing habits, rather than focus on the money part of it. For example, if your shopping is about finding new stuff then maybe you can get that thrill from challenging yourself to find new ways to use closet orphans. Maybe you can challenge yourself to re-purpose something that no longer pleases you. Maybe use your budget money to have something restyled by a tailor. I may be offbase but looking at the WHY you shop and then redirecting that need into a less money-oriented direction can satisfy you.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Thanks everyone.
Claudia, last year I was skiing and hiking, a lot. Can't very well shop in the mountains. I loved getting out there. Unfortunately this year due to my back injury I can't do that, yet. Right now I can't even walk a few blocks without pain. This is also a source of major personal unhappiness.
I have restarted my knitting hobby though.
Dana, when I lost a lot of weight I was pretty disciplined (South Beach diet). My work is pretty structured and regimented (can't be creative in healthcare). Fashion is where I could be emotional and impulsive. Ooh it's cool/pretty/trendy/edgy was my shopping mantra.

catgirl

Veteran

Anna, you may find this to be a whole new adventure in disguise. There are fab items to be found in thrift and consignment stores, as well as the usual sales. I have stopped looking at Gilt and other sites where I'm tempted by items that seem like a bargain but aren't really what I need.

Also, since (I think) you are someone who doesn't like to wear items that are not right on trend, you could sell or consign your own items for a pretty penny. Someone will be happy to have your j. brand cargos, for instance. Upscale consignment stores will take items that are no more than 2 or 3 years off the runway and will also sell them for more than other places.

As I live in a place where there aren't a lot of shopping options, I have to get on the internet to buy - and the best way for me to have self-discipline is to stay away from the computer!

ironkurtin

Veteran

Ag - If fashion is your area to kick back, and you're restricted in your other usual ways, I can see this being hard on you. Other suggestions here are great, so far:
- budgets
- sales
- consignments
- remixing
- coveting and saving

But I think you need to find an outlet for your creativity. Can you take a class in fashion design or jewelrymaking? Hatmaking? Shoemaking? Flower arranging (don't laugh, it is very creative). This might channel your emotional and impulsive directions in ways that are easier on your wallet.

Claudia

Veteran

That makes it extra difficult, not being able to have physical outlets available, especially ones that you had loved. My whole life, hiking, walking and physical exertion has been my savior, so I feel your pain and frustration.

Anna, do you like to cook? Personally I get a lot of enjoyment out of trying new foods and recipes, and have built a bit of a social life and hobby around my cooking and the resulting entertaining that comes with people enjoying good eats. I am on a very tight budget, even when it comes to the grocery store, but I love seeing what the weekly specials are and Googling recipes to try with those ingredients and making healthy meals and snacks. My friends and relatives love my cooking too, and will come over with a bottle of wine and hang out while I make an interesting pizza for us, dinner, or some appetizers, etc. Having the leftovers to enjoy also saves on dining out or prepared convenience foods. Just thought I'd toss that out as something that might interest you to fill a bit of the shopping void.

ETA: just stay away from the baking! Fastest way to gain weight.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Anna, I'm sorry to hear about the pay situation -- that has got to be a blow!

I have been inching up the ladder for the latest few years in terms of what I am willing to spend on fashion, so I can just imagine the challenge. In my case, my artist income isn't the thing making it possible, so I'm always aware that we may need to tighten our belts if/when my husband scales back his business and starts getting into retirement mode (he's talking about it already, aiming for it by the time he's 55).

All the same, since acquiring more expensive tastes, I've also had one foot firmly in the discount frame of mind. I find some good stuff in the Rack, Off Saks, Nieman Last Call, and Loehmans, even TJMaxx and Marshall's. In these places, half the fun/challenge is combing through to see what is there -- I definitely make that a bit of a hobby, which is why my closet is so full.

I like the idea of a monthly budget. Do you think you could take that approach?

catgirl

Veteran

Along IK's line of thought, do you sew? I've taken a couple of classes on custom tailoring patterns, and if I had time I would make my own clothes to suit me. Imagine how cool it would be to come up with your own versions of couture clothing just for you...

rae

(website)

Veteran

Ebay, Loehmann's, The Rack, Amazon, consignment, and DIYs might work out for you. They all have their drawbacks, but then boutiques have the drawback of being more expensive - it's always a trade-off.

When you purge, do you consign or re-sell at Buffallo Exchange type places? That may also help, as you can recoup some costs and get credit or cash toward new stuff.

If you want to cut back in other areas instead, I shop at the dollar store and Asian markets a lot. Breakfast is often a 75-cent cup of freeze-dried miso soup. I don't buy coffee, and I get my tea off Amazon. DH and I do not pay for cable television. We sometimes cut our own hair. Shampoo comes from Big Lots. Makeup is $1 stuff from eyeslipsface. I guess I sort of penny pinch everywhere else these days since I make fashion my major indulgence as well.

Jonesy

Veteran

Chiming back in to say a few things about your back :). I feel like dealing with the back injury is even more important than this budget set-back. I have had a few chronic injuries (my right rotator cuff, then my left one, lower back pain for about a year, and chronic tendinitis in my left ankle) that have really ticked me off and made me depressed. I finally got a handle on everything by going to this bodywork/massage person on a weekly basis. She has been a godsend in terms of helping me with holistic stuff, like body alignment, good stretches that are strengthening, and all sorts of other things. I can genuinely say it has completely changed my life and now I don't have any chronic injuries (my left rotator cuff is now maybe 85% solid, with a little bit further still to go). I know back injuries are notoriously tricky, but if I can heal an injured rotator cuff or two without surgery, you can make your back better too :)! It's just a matter of finding the right professional to work with you, then being diligent about following through with exercises, etc. I'm totally committed because I value my health and my fitness so much, and now I can do everything I want to do that I couldn't before (at age almost-45).

Hope this doesn't sound like a lecture. It's terrible to have an injury and feel so limited and trapped by it, especially when you are dying to get outside and move, so I can totally relate.

Gaylene

Veteran

As I've mentioned before, I've restricted myself to only purchasing 12 items this year. My reason for doing so was partially a feeling of dismay at easy it was to accumulate stuff that, once in my closet, was rarely worn before it got purged. But what really made me take a look at my buying habits was my son. He was doing some research for an article about today's "cheap" fashion-- the human and environmental implications of what it takes to manufacture and distribute it, and what actually happens to those items when I send them to be "donated" or "recycled". Since this is a fashion, not a political, site, I won't go into this topic, but it has caused me to seriously reflect on my own behavior.

It made me realize that Angie's more thoughtful approach to fashion sometimes gets lost in our thrill of acquiring and modelling new items and the fun of trying out fashion trends. Quietly, and without preaching, Angie keeps making the point that you can be stylish and have fun by using the items you currently own and by making new additions deliberately and thoughtfully. She buys carefully and looks for quality, making her my role model for thoughtful first-world consumerism.

But, to get back to your question, maybe having to re-think your approach to fashion purchases might not be all gloom and doom. Ironically, the fewer items that I've purchased this year have given me much more lasting pleasure than the loaded bags of stuff that I used to haul home from the shops. Just something to think about.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I have nothing constructive to add Anna, only that I hope the reduction in salary is short lived.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Anna, I have no advice that has not already been given, but I wanted to offer sympathies both for your soon to be restricted income, and your restricted movement. I hope things are better soon.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Anna - I'm so sorry that this situation has come about for you, especially as I can see how passionate you are about fashion. You've received alot of excellent advice here and there's nothing more I can add other than "good luck".

bj1111

Veteran

the change in the pay structure and the lack of a raise are disappointing. agree with ik about harnessing your creativity.

What are you knitting?

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Definitely find some new ways to harness your creativity - it can still be fashion if you opt to do what others said and shop differently or if you choose to learn to sew - the fashion world would be wide open at that point! I've always found that doing something creative and focused helped me forget the pain. One weekend many years ago when I was broke and in pain myself, I decided I was going to make a quilt style comforter. I had never sewn really before but I was in severe pain and wanted to do something to get my mind off of it. Anyway, I bought the material (remnants from a cheap fabric store, got out my garage sale sewing machine and by the end of that weekend I had that baby DONE. I enjoyed using that comforter for many years before passing it on in my own garage sale.

Isabel

Veteran

I just want to chime in to wish you luck ! I really like Gaylene's idea of limiting yourself to a few great pieces a year. Everyone is looking to scale back on fixed costs, it is a tough time.

ManidipaM

Veteran

Anna, I am so very sorry about these circumstances. It must be a disappointment to be denied a raise as well as accept less than your peers get, even other than the loss of fun money, although that is where you're focusing your pain. I understand this as a coping mechanism, but I think you've also had great thoughts and advice on maybe diluting or even burying (again, depends on your will power and needs -- i find cold turkey easier than window shopping but not buying, say) the fashion focus a while.

It does NOT need to be drastic. As Claire said, taking your style in the high-low direction can be fun too.

Not much to add to what everyone's already said, but just had a thought: Could your craving for creativity be satisfied vicariously? Could you volunteer at a children's ward, seniors' home, DFS or similar, where you can help others play dress-up? Of course, without straining your own health further.

Alternatively, if you feel it is too hard to bury your favourite hobby, how about making it a focus from a different direction? Besides IK's and Rae's suggestions for DIY and your existing knitting hobby, could you perhaps take a course in fashion history or something to immerse yourself in fashion and keep 'busy' there without needing to shop? Go to museum shows and such. Treat yourself to a window into fashion rather than the front seat at the runway maybe? Make a project of street fashion photography perhaps...

Also, I think Angie's budgeting idea is the most practical to start with --- set aside a sum, and when it's gone, wait till next month. You can hone and tweak as you go along, but don't get trapped in 'fashion math' (borrowing against next month's, quarterly budgets etc) just yet. Keep it simple while you adjust to those first few smaller pay cheques.

nicoleb

(website)

Veteran

You've gotten a ton of great advice and I'm super sorry it looks like you might have to cut back. Here'd a few things I do:

Use ShopStyle. I don't know if you have an iPhone but I use this app. religiously. I can type in something specific or just browse, save items into my favorites and I get a push notification as soon as a store puts the item on sale.

Go out and try items on - then do EBay. I scored a Bailey44 dress (not the one the forum adores ) recently that retailed for $140 and I got it off EBay NWT's for $25.

And then yeah, what everyone else said. Scour The Rack, look for costs you can cut else where. I always tell my husband that if I were still single I could totally live on black beans and rice so I could have more funds to spend on myself. He's a chef though so he's not really onboard with that idea. XD

Debbie

Veteran

Anna I have an idea that may or may not work. How about going with one of the Seattle girls and exploring shopping haunts that are new to you. I do budget for the month and when its gone its gone. Untill recently whatever was left went to the next month now I roll it into the vacation fund because we are planning a big trip next year.

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