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How to be more successful with one-in/one-out

unfrumped

Veteran

Other than having a brain and personality transplant, what are ways to be more er, disciplined with one-in/one out wardrobing?

I think it's a good approach for me, even if the "out" is not the same type of item as the "in", though mostly it should be.

I will get on a good run of "outs" of items that don't fit or don't work anymore, but then may still add items and upset the balance.

Some things have been very easy to let go but I seem to hoard others, like shoes even if I'm not wearing them. If they fit at all, I'll be so worried I won't be able to replace them, or I'll need a backup.
I have a holding zone, but really I don't want it to be too big, just a repository of neglected items.

Obviously a SYC period can help--if you don't have something you want to send out, then don't bring anything in--changing it around to one-out/one-in, or 2-out/one in.

Really admitting I've got a color palette has helped--I had kept some items but can realistically say that I "need" a different color now to be versatile, so just let the other colors go.

Capsule thinking helps some--if I think about items in a loose capsule and see that some of the items or outfits are "peripheral" and not my favorites, I can see that they will tend to go unworn. Or vice-versa--I may find I've got so many good options in one capsule that it's overkill.

I'm very happy with the items I added this fall, but don't quite understand why I'm finding it hard to let go of some pieces that I expected them to replace (see, I didn't actually make a plan for what replaced what) .
I'm pretty sure I have trouble tossing items that seem okay even if I'm not wearing them. I need to not have to have that safety net mentality--if I've got plenty of things to wear and I let these items go, surely nothing bad will happen.

I have mostly worked through fit issues that needed updating, so I think the next big hurdle is to really ask, is this my preferred style/silhouette? I believe I'm keeping too many "fringe" looks, meaning, they're okay so I don't "see" them as expendable, but based on what I want to wear, they are. I've added things I like better and just need to admit that.

I guess I'll have to "talk to my clothes" and ask whatchadoinferme? again.

I have benefited from a lot of YLF'ers advice and experiences with wardrobe-honing and so in part I just need go back to the drawing board and work the tried-and-true methods. But, feel free to chime in on any new insights, be they methods or what type of wine went best with wardrobe reorganization !

36 replies

Latest reply was from unfrumped

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

What's your motivation for one-in-one-out? It sounds like these items aren't worn out, so they're still serviceable. Is it a space thing, or is it just that you feel like you should get rid of the old stuff because you bought new? Or that you feel guilty having a bunch of unworn stuff? I think if you narrow down your specific reasoning you might be able to get back to your original motivation, either that or change your plans.

I've come full-circle with this issue since joining YLF. I was a near hoarder who never got rid of clothes unless they were literally falling apart. Then I culled a lot and updated my style with new stuff, which was great, until I kept those same habits up even when I didn't really need to anymore. I found that I was still getting rid of a lot even though the vast majority of it was still fine - it was just a mechanism so that I could feel OK buying new things and not seem like I had that much stuff. But I was being wasteful and too tuned to trends, because in a few months or a year I would wish I had those old items back. Now I am on a temporary hiatus from culling unless the condition of something is unacceptable - everything I'm "not feeling" goes to my spare bedroom for a time out and I'll see next year when the appropriate season comes around if absence makes the heart grow fonder.

That's a tl;dr version of: I don't think one-in-one-out is for everyone or every instance. Maybe a seasonal cull combined with putting away the items that aren't getting worn for a while would work for you and not cause you so much anxiety.

(The reason why you're not wearing any particular item is something you could explore as well, and get great advice here too. Sometimes the answer is as simple as "I have a lot of stuff and it takes me a long time to wear it all," though.)

unfrumped

Veteran

Thanks, Laura.
I do have a space issue in the sense that I can have too much stuff for my main closet to feel "peaceful". I'm okay with storing high-summer items in another closet during winter and vice versa.

I may not be being honest-critical enough about fits--things that are not fluid enough or long enough for lower-rise pants are not getting worn. I can either store them in a box or should toss out, not just keep riffling through them.

I do have to be careful about tossing just because. That's why I want to think about the in/out more as, if I'm thinking about buying this new item, why, and what does it replace or do that something else can't? So I need to tatoo that on my wallet.

Sal

Veteran

I don't have a one in one out policy, although I am mindful of not letting the wardrobe size creep up.

I usually buy in dribs and drabs (over a year I might buy 20 pieces) in 12-14 shopping experiences. However I normally purge about four times-
roughly seasonally. Occasionally during a season I will realise a piece is too worn or dated or undesirable and I will thrift/turn into a rag/give it away to a friend.

I am trying to be more mindful of updating essentials since starting on this forum, and I have realised that keeping them adequately stocked and current is important. The statements I find as I see them.

My only suggestion is to perhaps look at it seasonally rather than weekly...you add a new item this week, that does not mean you have to purge one this week, but by the end of fall/winter you don't want any more than you started the season with.

carter

Veteran

Oh Unfrumped! I could have written this exact same post. The "low-hanging fruit" went without much fuss. I thought I was pretty good at this;-). Not so! I now have clothes all over the house in various holding zones. It's absurd. I have pants in a size up and a size down. I have tops I still like but don't wear...surely I'll wear them sometime, right? I have a pile of things that need some alterations tweaking to be just right, yet they've been there for quite some time, and I keep shopping for replacements. I have a huge pile of things my daughter may want. She's 22...how likely is she to want her 51 year old mom's cast-offs?? I have too much of everything...both good and bad.

Obviously, I am seriously not qualified to give you any advice. But I'll certainly be cheering you on and following your progress!

Joy

Veteran

It helps me to know that my things that are still in good shape are going to someone who really can use them, not filling up a land fill or putting local artisans out of business in a third world country. At the beginning of a season if I see things that I don't want to wear again rather than make me smile, I try to find them a new home even before replacing. Sometimes, like this fall, when there are just too many fitted tops to replace them all, I try to be selective. Now, when I replace, I want better quality and style from my purchases unless it's really trendy and something to try for a season.
Another thing that's helped is to replace some basics like black or white knits on a regular basis and let the old ones go. Whites can get dingy and blacks faded. Knits in general can start pilling. Better to replace them early.

deb

Veteran

I am unable/not good at the one in/one out thin. You get extra credit for trying.

Astrid

Veteran

I'm not at a point where I can do one in/one out either. I think you need to have a wardrobe which is sized just right for you, then the principle makes sense. To keep you from spending too much on new things when your old ones are still serviceable and to keep it manageable in size. I'm not there yet.

unfrumped

Veteran

Interesting responses! Good thoughts.
Apparently, I am adding things whilst I still have unresolved "issues" wih existing items.
--Shoes on the back burner but not tossed and not clearly targeted for a specific use--several of these are kind of dress-up or pump-wannabe's. Not comfortable enough to be really happy about, but fearful of "the occasion" for which I'll have no dressy shoes.
--A couple of toppers I did not wear at all this year but haven't yet been able to see them as gone. But since I added a few jackets this fall, I want to decide if these have replaced the others and/or I've morphed into using another approach.
--button-front shirts--my nemesis. I like them but then don't wear them. I added 2 more this fall and have not really worn any of them much. I keep planning to layer..... or think I need this and that color, a pattern. I almost need the "shirt of the year"--re: collar and fit--and just play with one, period. They don't exactly work as long-lived classics for me

Sal

Veteran

Can I ask why you keep adding shirts if you don't wear them?

I also rarely wear button downs, and have almost stopped buying them.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I'm not going to be terribly helpful, I fear. I come at this from the other side -- as a person who will (all too) happily "retire" items just because they aren't new any more. (It's a good thing I don't treat my husband or my friends like that.)

Still, now that my wardrobe has reached a good size for me, I do practice a rough one-in-one-out -- but it's very slapdash and inexact. Basically, if the hangers are filling up, I look for stuff to let go of. Ditto the shelves/ drawers.

Even I find a "holding zone" can be a remarkably helpful area. I simply put things I'm not sure about in another closet and if I have not wanted them or reached for them in an entire season, I examine them at the start of the following season, and say goodbye if they're not serving any purpose.

Another thing that I find helpful is to keep a list of all my clothes and keep track of what I am actually wearing. I am doing this for the first time this year. I've been at it since mid-September and it is incredibly enlightening. I don't intend to do anything with this information just yet -- but I will make use of it next year when it comes time to start buying. And editing.

DonnaF

Veteran

Disclosure: I don't do one out, one out. Yet. Maybe someday. . . .

I've noticed that with some new items that I don't wear them a lot the first year. They have to marinate for awhile in my brain until I can figure out more ways to wear them or until I feel that it's safe to wear them. Or something. At any rate, I've learned not to purge too quickly. Also, I've noticed that a difference of only five to seven degrees Fahrenheit can make a huge difference in what I want to wear so that in some years, certain types of clothes or fabrics barely get worn.

I avoid Crowded Closet Syndrome by using hangers that stack. That way, I can fit more clothing into the same amount of space.

unfrumped

Veteran

Of course, that's the million dollar question! Actually I don't buy hordes of them but I like how they look in the store untucked and without any topper, but then that's not how I will wear them except for some summer cotton shirts on a weekend, or a flannel shirt in the winter. I like some woven fabrics and the way a print or particular solid could tie other items together. I have some sweaters with necklines that are too gappy and I do wear some shirts under, but then IRL sometimes think it looks too menswear/classic/frumpy on me. So the key is not to try any on. I'm actually doing better about figuring this out this year but have Lapses.

barbaraq

Something interesting happened to me earlier this Fall when I was trying to catch up with 1-in-1-out: I actually forced myself to try on all my clothes I was on the fence about. And guess what, many of them were pure fantasy, both in terms of what I thought I looked like wearing them and what I thought I could wear them with. I HATE trying on my own clothes in my closet for "no reason", so this was not an enjoyable experience. Except that afterward I found it so much easier to cull and donate many of my former favorites! I am going to try to remember this in future.

unfrumped

Veteran

barbaraq, that helped me a lot too--I did a mass try-on this spring. So I think I'm in part dealing with the items that I kept, thinking I still liked them and would be wearing them, and it hasn't panned out.
Plus, I moved aside my spring and summer items still keeping ones I didn't wear this summer. I have room for them and could just wait until next year, early spring to go through again, but I think it is bugging me. I moved a lot of things out to make room for winter and I feel like I've got 2 wardrobes when in fact I should have more overlapping use or fewer items or both.

catgirl

Veteran

Brain transplant FTW. I'm all "Twenty out, one in" then "twenty in, one out" and so erratic. Argh!

unfrumped

Veteran

DonnaF, I have had the same experience with temperatures.
I am trying to watch this phenomenon and see if it tells me something.
I've noticed I may have greater need for substantial cotton or cotton-rich knits that still look professional, because they seem to stand up to A/C okay but then are not cloying if temps go up during the day. Similarly, while I love the idea of silk blouses and I do think they are better than poly for comfort, 100% silk wovens are not my best in humid weather.
And I'll abandon anything flimsy the moment it gets to 60degrees or so--
Lessons in here somewhere that I hope I can use for wardrobe versatility as well as distribution of items for the seasons.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

DonnaF makes a good point about weather variations too. Our winter last year was really warm and dry (sorry rest of North America) and so I barely wore my heavier sweaters or boots. Other years I'm in multiple layers and my rain-suitable boots for four months straight and my ballet flats sit neglected in the corner. For me at least, it doesn't make sense to get rid of functional and flattering items just because I don't wear them constantly.

Noting what you wear like Suz has been doing could be illustrative, or maybe trying to make outfits out of the pieces you don't wear, like the button front shirts? Some of it may be trend driven too; button front shirts are starting to come back a bit but were definitely not trendy for a couple of years.

Gaylene

Veteran

The one-in, one-out concept only made sense to me once I drastically reduced my wardrobe.

Just a few days ago, I spotted Angie's Gap merino wool turtleneck at 60% off. The feel and drape was lovely, and the toffee shade looked great with my navy peacoat. What stopped me from pulling out my wallet was the thought that I'd have to cull something--and I hesitated everytime I thought of a candidate. I liked all of my current items too much to let any of them go right now.

In the past, the thrill of a "score" would have led me to justify the purchase by telling myself I could find something to cull once I got home. Since I always had several "meh" candidates in my closet, my rationalization seemed to make sense at the time. The only problem was once I got home, I still couldn't figure out what to cull, so it was easier just to find another hanger and add the new item to my already full closet. And then it would happen again...and again...and again.

Staysfit

Veteran

This is such a relevant question for me to understand now that my closet is so pared down and in a place where I am happy. It's so funny that I saw this right after I posted my "sweater assessment after the closet purge" post. I know that I will struggle against overfill again. I think you are right in saying that having a specific color palate is going to help. I also had an odd item that I was not able to purge despite the color palate. I think it's okay to hold onto one or two very unique or special items, depending on their purpose. Mine is a brown cashmere moto cardigan. The cashmere is very thick and high quality, and the style is one I haven't seen again since I made the purchase. I love wearing it.

The actual numbers assessment and looking at my silhouettes also may have been helpful. You may want to try this, although it was a bit obsessive and time consuming. For example, I looked closely at my sweaters and realized that I have an overabundance of hip length cardigans, which is probably the least useful to me given my style preference. I also know which silhouettes look the best, which I wear the most, and which I feel the best wearing, This is going to help me with redistribution. Clearly, I know what needs to be purged and replaced from this exercise. I'm guessing that the one in one out process works best if you know in advance what you are going to purchase, and also if you have pre-planned what you are going to purge. If you are an impulse spender, it will not work well for you. Knowing what you wear most, what is unused, what is worn out or what you are tired of is key to make it work.

The issue of style is certainly very personal and also such a relevant part of the one in one out process. I am glad that you brought it up. I think many of us on the YLF forum are interested in current fashion. I am certainly interested in current fashion, but more than that, I am interested in looking my best, feeling happy and comfortable in what I wear and developing a look that is unique, creative and that matches my personality and lifestyle. If I were to wear everything that is currently in fashion, I would be a lemming, and I would just be following trends endlessly. I would not be developing my own style. I think that's what's so special about a style icon. They have their own unique blend. They have discovered what works and they stick with it I have decided that I need to do more of this. Looking at my current sweater silhouettes only confirmed this more strongly. I don't have anything boxy, too fluid, or too oversized. Why? Obviously, these do not work well for me, so I don't purchase them. I have tried them on many times, but they are just wrong. My pants are mostly narrow straight leg or skinny, and even my boyfriend style jeans are skinny boyfriends. I don't often wear crop leg pants either. When I buy slacks, wide legs are overwhelming. I don't do baggy, saggy, slouchy, cropped or over-sized well at all. I know that current fashion trends are heading away from my personal style preferences.

I read Angie's post on what to do if you are not feeling great about current style direction, given your personal style preferences. This was helpful in deciding what to purge. I feel so much better about sticking with my style preferences and not jumping at every fringe trend, or even what is current. I would rather have a well developed personal style that is creative, attractive, unique to me, and still incorporates pieces that are current if and when possible. I would definitely recommend that you go under the Advice tab, and look for some of these helpful posts. Oh, and about necklines, I easily eliminated all v neck pullovers as the first part of my purge back this summer. My daughter has all of them. I don't miss them at all! No regrets!

unfrumped

Veteran

Gaylene, I so enjoy your posts and what worked for you ! I think that is the point--I don't have to constrict right now, so I kind of let the meh items stay in and creep up, and I haven't committed to the 1:1 process ( meaning, I think it's good but I'm not holding myself accountable), so I'm kinda-sorta comparing the new with what I've got, but not in the true cutthroat, musical-chairs approach.

I had been allowing the in and out to be any item, so that really leads to muddled thinking. I do think it would be helpful to think in categories (at least it imposes some system on my brain) so that it's this turtleneck vs that turtleneck, and so on.

The case you are making is for out-out-out as the pathway to serenity! I am not taking my own advice, "When in doubt, toss something out!"

thimblelina

(website)

Veteran

Okay.... a voice from the other side of the aisle so to speak who has always kept a lean-to-bare closet. I live in a small bungalow & too much of ANYTHING -- clothing, canned goods, books -- just feels unwieldy and unworkable. So I just make a space for a genre of items and when that designated space is filled I either have to cull or pass. It feels as normal as breathing or eating or sleeping. Too much of a good thing is still too much. I also can't help but feel some sting in the sunk costs of too much inventory. All those excess items are trips I didn't take, meals I didn't eat, shows I didn't see, books I didn't read, investments I didn't make. I'm not judging!! I'm just curious. What's the payoff? Is it novelty? Ironically, one of the benefits of owning so little is things authentically wear out! I have to replace a few items every season just to tread water.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Good points, Gaylene and thimbelina. I agree with you both that one-in-one-out probably makes the most sense within a category rather than in general. I do that sort of thing essentially by my space limitations. I've got a drawer for sweaters and once it's full I've got to get rid of something. Same with knit tops, jeans, etc. and I limit my hangers for the same reason (totally stole that idea from someone here).

The thing that I needed to figure out with my culling of non worn out items was why I was doing it, and really it was a desire for novelty like Suz describes. I've chosen to address it on the front end by tracking my budget and limiting my shopping trips (with mixed results so far but I'm improving).

Anonymous

I follow Gaylene's and Thimblelina's strategies. I am often stopped from buying one more button down shirt if I can't decide in the store which button down shirt will be eliminated. One in-one out applies to the same category item in my house .... or else I would amass a huge quantity of black slacks for work and have no tops for work. Gaylene's strategy is an amazingly effective way to do things. It has both saved me money and saved me closet space.

I also have a smaller living space. As Thimblelina said, there is only so much room for inventory. At some point, I just can't stand it any longer and begin to cull for the same of my sanity.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Yeah, I think that is what I was saying about space limitations, too. I keep my eye on that as well as on how often I'm wearing items (am I splitting wears?) and will decide on that basis. I do agree with Laura that you can't always judge simply from the fact you are not wearing, as weather may play a huge role. There are things I wore very often this fall that I wouldn't have worn last fall at all.

Ultimately, I may deal with my own desire for novelty as Thimbelina does. It's sort of what I did before, actually (when I had an even smaller wardrobe). My clothes genuinely wore out or looked unfresh by the second season, so I would simply replace a portion of the wardrobe each season. This still happens to some degree. Some of my items get a lot of wear. I have been keeping strict track since mid-September. So far, my most worn items are averaging around 10 wears a piece. I also have some unworn items, and some items that have had around 4 or 5 wears.

Lisa

Veteran

What a great question! This is something I still struggle with myself. I do find it helpful to ask myself in the store what I am going to retire for the new purchase. Other times I have to pop something in a holding zone to make room for the new item. Often the holding zone item never makes it back into the working closet and gets purged, just not as fast as when I added something new.

thimblelina

(website)

Veteran

I think it's really easy to overestimate how much things can be worn. Because I live in mild climate Northern CA I shop for 3 semester based 'seasons': Spring semester that accommodates some winter clearance purchases plus new stock; Summer term, usually including a few travel purchases; and Fall semester where I scoop up a little bit of warm weather clearance stuff for our long indian summer and then buy a few winter previews. Each period lasts about 17 weeks and in addition to my workdays there are probably 10 weekend outings and 5-6 actual 'occasions' like weddings, parties, conferences, etc. that require dressing. The rest of my free time I'm in gear for hiking, the beach, the gym, or in loungewear or work wear for potting about at home. So I get about 100 opportunities to wear my clothing in each seasonal period. How could I possibly wear 30 or 40 similar items of clothing with any regularity? Keeping things for 'just in case' -- especially if they're subpar to begin with -- seems puzzling to me. I would rather get the chance to wear what I love more!

Anonymous

I am definitely on thimbalina's "side of the aisle" here. I used to have over 100 items of clothing, but then I had a complete paradigm shift--because I wanted to. It was actually fun for me to downsize my closet and I think that is the key.

You might try picking a firm number to have for each category of your clothing. If you're feeling like your closet is a little too jammed, try reducing the number in each category by about one third. Remove excess hangers to another location and begin one in, one out from that point. Then, I think it would work best if you didn't shop unless you had something specific in mind to replace. You could shop in a more targeted fashion, with a list.

My change of heart was like a brain transplant, lol! so I come at things from the other end of the scale now: how little can I have and be happy and meet my needs? I will always gladly trade 3 sub-par or worn out items for one excellent one, any day of the week. I often find myself doing one in, two or three out! I love to shop, but have become so particular, that it is amazing when I actually find something brand new that fits all of my parameters and I'm excited about purchasing. I usually want to wear it for the next week straight!

I have recently discovered the beauty of one. One plaid shirt. One cashmere sweater. One pair of chelsea boots. One pencil skirt. One pair of white jeans. if I have a bunch of things that are similar, will anyone even notice that I'm wearing a different one? If I found something I really liked, I used to run out and "stock up" on them, before I had even gotten a chance to really put it through it's paces to see if it was true love. That backfired on more than one occasion! Now I'm down to one striped sweater and one animal print blouse. I still love stripes and animal print, but for my lifestyle it's overkill to have multiples of each, and I end up splitting my wears.

Thistle

Veteran

I am not yet to this stage, mostly because of significant body changes with more yet to come!

I do think it is hard as sometimes the thrill of the chase or of being "on trend" outweighs our more practical side.

If you already have a big enough closet to be happy with your choices and diversity, I think the following may help.

1. Set aside your budget for clothing. Either in a separate account, in a drawer, etc. this lets you know what you have to spend and keeps you on budget. It also lets you build up a budget to potentially buy a higher end piece that really makes your heart sing. This might also start to show you how much you are spending on meh when you could have fewer but fab pieces.

2. Identify the meh items and why they are meh and what will take them to fab. Not easy, no, but you know the meh items because you don't wear them. Or they are in a holding zone. And , it might be easier to look at them one at a time. Pick 3 items, say, and go from there.

3. When you shop, don't cut the tags until you have an item to purge that the current item replaces. Maybe not in the this is a better black turtleneck way. But the new item should be fab. If there is nothing you are happy to let go to make room for the new piece, return the new piece.

thimblelina

(website)

Veteran

Those are great suggestions thistle!
And let me say it again: this is NOT judgey!! Claire & I don't nose around the forum looking to pry into people's closet secrets. But when someone expresses a dissatisfaction with the sheer enormity of their clothing load we are going to point out that there are lots of ways to work off that excess. I actually have a pretty generous clothing budget now that I work. Based on other financial pressures I budget $500-$1000 per semester season. And that's not a one-off. A wardrobe is like a tree or a rose bush. It needs ongoing pruning and feeding. I do limit the number of hangers & items. Right now I leave room for 10 items of clothing in 10 categories; after a few years in this job I could see making room for up to 15 items in my most worn or beloved categories. I can store about 10 pairs of shoes or boots in 5 different categories. I like for everything to be beautifully folded or hung & displayed much like a shop. That gets my creative juices flowing. I'm realistic & accepting about my middle aged body image so I don't obsess about how I look in my clothes but I am a fit-nazi and anything that creeps, wedges, sags or scratches is banished in a hot minute! Because I'm lazy & will coast until everything wears out I force myself to buy 4-6 things at a minimum; if I go over 12 however I get slap happy and start making mistakes. So I'm rigid: there's a dollar limit AND an item limit so I don't gorge on clearance markdowns. It works for me! I get up every morning excited about making a new outfit or wearing a favorite. And Clare's right about the power of one. Brigid Raes calls it 'one & done.' If I let myself have 25 black tshirts I'd live in black t shirts no matter how tatty. I keep ONE with short sleeves and one with long. When they're in the wash it's time to wear something else

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