How much (time/$) do you spend on special occasion wear? - YouLookFab Forum

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How much (time/$) do you spend on special occasion wear?

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

So a friend of mine is getting married in Las Vegas in a few weeks, as I think I mentioned here before, and I can't for the life of me figure out what to wear. I could easily cobble together something acceptable from what I already own, but I don't want acceptable - I want perfect for the occasion. A little flashier than my usual style, but not too crazy; fun but not outlandish; and preferably something that I can wear again which is not too expensive. You see my (self-made) dilemma.

I was at Nordstrom yesterday and looking around the dress sale racks, and ended up bringing home two sheath dresses: a Betsey Johnson in grey with black lace trim, and a NYDJ black ponte with faux leather trim. Neither one of these are my everyday style at all, and I'm hard pressed to think of when next I will wear them.

I probably have to properly dress up maybe twice in a year, and that's pushing it. One of those occasions is going out for our anniversary with my husband, and I could dress down a little there if I wanted. Given that it's such an infrequent occasion, does it make any sense to 'invest' in specialized items? Should I just stick with the dressier end of my separates and stick with that? I would love to know what others do in these sorts of cases.

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41 replies

Latest reply was from Diana

deb

Veteran

None, I try to wear what is in my closet or if I am purchasing something, it has to be wearable in my everyday life. Be it at the office or home.

shedev

Veteran

I'm with Deb. I'd go with something with wearing potential beyond the specific event. Could you wear something out of your closet but with more flashy accessories? Are you good with a 1 wear outfit for the occasion, kinda like a bridesmaid dress?

Staysfit

Veteran

In the past I spent too much time and money. Now I am using what I already have in my closet and I am not going to spend a lot for a one time outfit. I don't think it's worth it unless it is my daughter or sons wedding. For them I will go all out!

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

That's kind of what I'm wondering, whether it's worth spending $ on something that will essentially be a bridesmaids' dress equivalent. From the point of view of everyone else who'll be there, something I already own will be fine. From my own point of view, not so much, which has got me thinking that it's just my own ego at work here.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I know that Claire made a decision she would simply create outfits from what is in her minimal closet.

I think that's a perfectly acceptable way to do things. But it sounds to me as if doing that would make you sad in this case.

I do have a "special occasion" capsule. My regular life is so casual...yet at the same time, I have several "events" a year which require a genuinely dressed up outfit. I like to have something wonderful in my closet for those.

The current capsule is pretty minimal. It consists of the following:

1. A Nicole Miller sheath dress in stretch linen (like Angie's). This is the "sexiest" dress I own and also the dressiest. It really can't be worn except for special events. (Bought on sale, Nordstrom's. $150)

2. A black jaquard kimono jacket (Vintage Biba) that works as a topper in different situations. Bought on consignment. Not expensive but not super cheap, either. (+/- $80)

3. A sparkly brocade shell in multicolour. This is a "dress up the jeans or pencil skirt" kind of item. Thrifted. $5

4. A sleeved David Meister sheath. This one is more conservative and a little less dressy but suitable for more sober occasions and I even wore it for my stepson's wedding, figuring that "sexy" and "funky" weren't really the vibe the step-mom should be going for. It can be dressed down, but is best worn as is. (On sale, Nordstrom's. $150)

5. A striped Halogen pleated skirt. Can be dressed up or down, not purely special occasion. (Sale, Nordstrom's. $52)

6. A black "tux" jacket. Can be dressed up or down. (Sale, Nordstrom's $75)

7. A Kamalikulture sleeveless sheath. This one is less fancy and also crosses over to the regular wear capsule. (Sale, Zulilly, $45)

8. Donald Pliner Bronze booties. (some crossover) (Sale, Nordstrom's $130?)

9. Okala pumps. (some crossover) (Sale, Amazon, $80)

10. Gold sling back pumps (some crossover). (R&W $65)

11. A collection of clutches, vintage, inherited from my mother and my MIL.

The only things that I bought specially for the really "dressy" capsule that don't get worn in a crossover way are the two blue sheath dresses (sleeved and without sleeves.)

I am thrilled beyond measure with both, and so happy that when an occasion comes up, I can just reach into my closet and put on something that looks terrific.

I used to have a thrifted silk suit, but I have passed it along as dated and not the best fit.

Nicole Miller Lauren Stretch Linen Dress

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Halogen Pleat Midi Skirt (Regular & Petite)

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Trouvé Trouvé Mixed Texture Jacket

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Elly

Veteran

This is a dilemma for me too, usually I wear something from my closet or a pencil and jacket I own with a new blouse. Since my everyday look including work involves jeans, most people seem to recognize that I'm dressed up (versus if a pencil was my everyday office look), and out of respect for others I try not to wear inappropriately casual fabrics like cotton knits or really dated styles. Yet, my newest dress is something Janet passed down to me shortly after joining YLF. That said, weddings in particular in rural Colorado are much more casual than most.

But, I also understand the feeling. Every once in a while I have something that comes up that I just want to look really good for. Currently, I'm being tempted to buy something really alluring to wear to my SOs Holiday party as that seems to be the style.

thimblelina

(website)

Veteran

I think if you're going to go in the direction of splashing out, take time to think it through strategically so you end up with a little capsule like Suz's that will work for future occasions. It's all too easy to buy a total one-off & essentially throw your money away. The last wedding I needed to attend I wore an 8-year old pencil skirt from my work capsule, a chiffon blouse from F21 that was cheap but very flattering, my favorite nude wedges & invested in a gorgeous Heather Hawkins 'goddess' horn necklace with sterling & fools gold beads for about $150. And every female member of the wedding party asked me about that necklace during the reception!!

lynn

Veteran

I want to have a capsule like Suz but it never works very well for me. My occasions come up so rarely that styles change or my taste changes or I decide I don't look great in sleeveless anymore (my latest issue). That said, I HATE to go somewhere special wearing something I don't feel special in. I usually buy something new and if I'm lucky, I wear it again. Not much help, I know but just wanted you to know that it's a problem for other people too.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

It sounds like you would like something new - if I were you I'd look for your version of the LBD - something really simple that you can dress up or down. Is the leather trim dress in that category?

rachylou

Veteran

Really depends on the wedding and if it's my friend getting married or if I'm going as +1.

But you know, like, if it's MY birthday... I'm going out and spending the big bucks. Lol.

Diana

Veteran

I have a bunch of special occasion wear but as my recent posts attest I do go to more events than most people. I have probably 8 dresses (2 of which I haven't worn in ages bc they have issues), 4 pairs of dressy shoes (including one painful pair), 4 purses, and some lace wraps and such. And of course the British Wedding Hat!. I also have a silver ball skirt, which I've only ever had two occasions to wear. This is only the exclusively dress-up capsule. I have plenty of other things that I can also wear to things like date night or fancy brunches or even dress down for work (like my bellatrix jacket, for example).

Is this too many? Maybe, but I never claimed to be a minimalist! Plus I have acquired these things over many years and I tend to keep them a long time. (I bought the silver ball skirt in 2001! And one of my two LBDs is around 10 years old.)

I am a proponent of having a dress-up capsule just because I think it's fun!

MsMary

Veteran

I feel like "dressy" is an important wardrobe category so I buy dressy clothes even though I don't have all that many occasions to wear them. I want to feel like I'm properly dressed for every occasion rather than trying to make something not-quite-right work.

I have the same Halogen skirt as Suz, only mine is black. It works beautifully for most dressy occasions with something sparkly or silky or slightly bare on top. I have a couple of cocktail dresses and a couple of long formal dresses. And an amazing, amazing skirt made out of fabric roses that I got from Mochi at last year's Shoptoberfest swap. So I feel like I'm in reasonably good shape for dressy occasions.

Halogen Pleat Midi Skirt (Regular & Petite)

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Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I just realized that every single piece of my 'dressy capsule' is black. I think that's why none of those items seem like a good choice for the wedding. I know that you can wear black to weddings now, but it seems too evening-y for a day wedding, not to mention too wintery for a wedding in Las Vegas.

I've got a sequined skirt (1) and a chiffon beaded top (2/3), either one of which I could combine with something else. I also own a black satin tiered pencil skirt, and a pair of velvet pants, both of which seem too evening/winter... I also own an LBD of sorts in ponte.

4 & 5 are dresses I already own that I could wear; 6 is a dress I ordered from Twice (originally BR) that I thought might work for the occasion; can't decide whether to keep it or not.

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JAileen

Veteran

I got an email from Dillards yesterday promoting a 40 percent off sale, and it seemed their dresses were ridiculously inexpensive, approaching thrift store prices.

Style Fan

Veteran

I have a dressy capsule for special events. I didn't realize it until I read Suz's post! I love to get dressed up and I try to buy something that will work for different occasions. I find I do go to weddings, charity galas, formal birthday parties, etc. a few times a year.

1/ I have a dark blue almost black balloon skirt that is sort of shiny that I bought for my DH's 60th birthday. He is almost 66 years old so the skirt has stood the test of time (so has he!). I have worn the skirt to a couple of weddings. It is a cold weather skirt. It is very flattering for my hourglass/pear body.

2/ A giraffe print silk poufy skirt (brown and cream) that I bought for a party about 5 years ago. I have worn it to parties, a wedding, and my step son's graduation from law school. Again it is flattering to my hippy body. It is a warm weather skirt.

3/ A lime green shiny fabric dress with a fitted top and balloon skirt. Yes I like balloon skirts! The dress has a zipper up the front and is perhaps on the less conservative side. I bought it for my step son's wedding. Oh well. He is a musician and artistic and liked the dress. DH picked it out. I hope someone gets married soon because I want to wear the dress again.

4/ A silk animal print halter dress. Vavoom. I wore this to a charity gala. It was lots of fun.

5/ Cream tops for skirts.

6/ Bronze sandals, black velvet pumps.

7/ Evening bags of various types.

carter

Veteran

#4 is stunning! I vote that one.

Isabel

Veteran

OK, so I am kinda random on this , LOL. I also have a small capsule for special events, which are also few and far between for me. But last Fall, a very special young man that I have known since he was born, got married. I wanted something very special for his wedding. So I bought something but it is a dress that is totally up my alley and I have worn it 2 more times.

My question to you then is, how "Las Vegas " do you want to look...and is that coloring your judgement ? If this is strictly about the venue, you may want to re-consider. If it is something very special to you then maybe get something a bit more your style. Either way, a special occasion is never an "everyday" one so it shouldn't fit into your everyday life.

In the end, I would ask myself, " Would I rent this dress for $X dollars to wear it once ? " If the answer is yes...then buy it.

Thistle

Veteran

For me, I am just not willng to put many fashion dollars Into special occasion wear. I try to select separates that can do double duty later.

For example. For the Christmas party last year, I bought a black lace skirt, paired it with a black cashmere sweater and some fun jewelry. I added black smoking slippers from an Angie recommendation. The hose made it look pretty dressy as almost bare legs in December will.

Perfect? Maybe not, but I was warm, looked fine, and all of the pieces were worn again in different combinations.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I would just rent something amazing, and take LOTS of pictures.

Runcarla

Veteran

I'm working on my dressy capsule. I do attend theatre, music (usually classical) events, and ballet, with the occasional fundraiser event. My dressy capsule is ridiculously small, and I'm working on adding a few more pieces, but so far I have felt pretty good going out.

My capsule consists of:

A halter style LBD
Slim straight leg black trousers (ponte?)
A black lace button down
A black channel cut jacket with rhinestones along the zipper line
A black, gold, and silver Art Deco scarf faced on one side with black velvet

The trousers and lace button down have been worn to work. For a night out, I wear high heel pointy toe pumps. I'll sometimes get a professional blow out and flat iron, and do a smokey eye.

I would like to add a sparkly or lace knee length skirt and a sparkly tank, and a silky shirt to the capsule in gold or cream. Also, I will spring for the perfect white le smoking tuxedo in white or cream!

For a wedding, I would probably wear a dress I already own. I have a blue and white print wrap dress that I wear with navy pumps that always looks fresh. (kind of like your #4)

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

That Talbot's dress you linked to in your round-up would be eminently suitable, fun to dress up with a scarf or some glitzy baubles and some metal sandals, and useful for other events.

rabbit

Veteran

There are lots of warmer weather dresses on clearance racks now, so if you enjoy the process, I'd browse through and see if you find something you love at a price that you wouldn't mind if you only end up wearing it one or two times -- I've had good luck this way. Or alternately (if it's much more formal) look at renting. It also looks like you have some good options (the patterned dresses) if you want to go that route. Basically I'd just do whatever was most fun for you :).

Anonymous

I don't have a huge amount of occasions to really dress up either. (For me too, I have even fewer if I don't count nice restaurants once in a while where I can get away with really dressing up, but it's not required.) And I kind of have the same issue. I want to wear something awesome and new when I do have an excuse, rather than cobbling something together or feeling like I'm constantly wearing the same go-to dress for every event, but I don't want to spend lots of money and effort on it either.

In my case, it kind of works out. If I see a heavily discounted dress I like that looks like it might fit me, I can't not try it on. It usually doesn't end up being right but, if it does and I can think of some semi-plausible scenario for wearing it, it's hard to pass up. So I've usually got at least one dress hanging around that works well enough for whatever comes up, even if it's not the most perfect thing ever. For example, the last wedding I went to, I wore a purple dress I'd gotten for around $30 from Nordstrom Rack a while back. And I wore a black dress to my husband's office holiday party last year that was on sale at Ann Taylor for about the same price. I also have some work things that can cross over for special occasions that aren't super-dressy, which gives me more options, too.

Even though I usually have clothes to wear, sometimes I'll decide all my accessories are wrong and I really need some specific new one. And then I'll usually wear it just that once even though I was sure I'd wear it regularly.

For the wedding, what about looking for some kind of silky top, maybe in a jewel tone or something, to wear with that awesome sequined skirt? That seems like it would be fun and festive, and you could wear the top with jeans later on for dinner/drinks types of things. I like the dress in #5 a lot too.

Dee

Veteran

I think having a few dressy pieces is important, even if you only wear them dressy events and not the rest of the time. I go to 3-4 weddings a year and might have 1-2 other dressy events, but I like to have 3 or so dresses (or full skirts, etc) that I can rotate among those events. It prevents me from stressing when something unexpected does come up. I try to stay away from trendy silhouettes and/or patterns so that the ability to rewear remains high. Most of mine are sheath dresses or slight a-line in dark or jewel tones that work well on me.

Eta, I like the dress in #4. I think it could be dressed up or down depending on the time of day and accessories.

Jules

Veteran

Could you buy a fun accessory - jewellery, a clutch - that would amp up your existing clothes and provide that feeling of something new and special for the wedding? And might get reused more than a dress.

Sal

Veteran

I agree 4 would be a great choice, however I also like to have a few dressy pieces, and in the most part they have longevity. I don't wear all these pieces every year but every year I will have 3-4 occasions that I pull something together for (40ths are a big thing here/weddings/cocktail parties/work do's)

Three pairs of evening shoes (pewter, silver and cobalt) plus black that transfer over.
Three toppers (black jacket, black sequinned cardigan, kimono jacket, silver cropped jacket)
Six special evening pieces - raspberry sequinned two piece, cobalt sheath, red silk fit and flare (full circle skirt), black wrap dress, chocolate textured dress (poss bit dated but 14 years old and still useful occasionally), cream/gold grecian dress.
About four evening clutch bags
Two fur coats (vintage inherited)

Plus about four other pieces that can transfer to some dressy occasions (parties/the races/day weddings).

Next time I have a big occasion I will purchase a new dress as the newest piece in this capsule is 4 years old. Whilst I purge and keep a tight casual work wardrobe I will keep all these pieces for potential daughters in law, nieces etc. I think there is always a place for vintage evening wear and since they don't often wear out they are worth hanging on to (for me).

If you get the right piece it can be such a fun addition to the wardrobe!

Gigi

Veteran

I don't put too much money into special occasion capsules. I have hardly any special occasions to speak of, and what I do have is usually covered by cobbling together something from existing items. I don't want a lot of stuff cluttering up my closet if it won't get worn.

I would only buy something if you truly feel like you won't be comfortable wearing what you currently own because it doesn't really fit the bill. I would instead (in your shoes) perhaps buy another special dress for my anniversary dinner, a dress I would know I would use at least once a year and that would really make me happy.

Louise

Veteran

I like to feel fabulous in my clothes whether it's everyday wear or special occasion. I keep an eye out year round for occasion wear because I can guarantee when I'm desperate for something I WILL NOT find it! Pre YLF I attended my now best friends wedding and I wore work trousers, a silky polo neck and a velvet jacket, looking back at the photos my now YLF head wishes I'd worn something more dressy.

My special occasion wear capsule consists of a creamy coffee colour chiffon dress (10 years old, which I only took into the changing room as it was the right size and my friend was still talking to me and they wouldn't me go in without something) it was on deep sale I can't remember exactly but I have a feeling it was originally £75 and it must have been under £20 as I know I was seriously low on money around that time. I've worn it a handful of times to weddings and most recently in August to my uncles 80th birthday meal.

Turquoise strappy dress, again on deep sale, I think £10? From Wallis, again worn a handful of times.

Black jersey wrap dress, I'm looking for a floaty kimono to wear over it as it shows up my lumps and bumps but is a really comfy dress.

Firework type print high low dress I bought to wear last Christmas Day as I was post breakup and miserable and wanted a new Xmas dress to cheer me up I've worn it a couple of times this year. It was around £20 from H&M

Recent addition a black and beige spot high low maxi dress which was the most expensive at £35 from New Look

I've got a couple of pairs of dressy black shoes and 2 nude pairs though they seem too high so I'm looking to replace them, various clutches, a knitted plum cape and a white fluffy cardigan. There's also a black lacy kimono with labels still on that I'm trying to find a silky top to go with to dress up jeans. I'm sorted for really dressy events but could do with some nights out tops.

I guess what I'm trying to say with that long ramble is that you deserve to feel fabulous at your friends wedding. I think in the short term I'd do what Anna suggested and look at renting a dress then in the long term keep an eye out in sales and cheaper shops for suitable items. I know I've got a funeral, wedding and party covered already in my wardrobe so I could buy something new if I wanted but there's also the reassurance that should one of theses events crop up unexpectedly I'm sorted. It also helps that my auntie loves dressing up so a birthday buffet at home is an excuse to wear a party dress in our family x

ETA just reading Janet's thread about vintage gloves made me realises I also have a pair of long stretchy opera gloves, faux fur stole and a tiara which I bought from cheapy places like PRIMARK for a white tie and tiara party x

lyn67

Veteran

I also have a dressy to formal capsule of some dresses, dressy skirts and tops, plus jackets, bags and jewelery as I know it's sad, but I never been able to find something I like and fits when those special occasions occure-so during the years I have had to learn my lessons well. I say if you can afford, than buy somethin which tickle your Las Vegas fancy:-), if not, then any of nr.1-4 will do right good enogh!

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