How much is too much...damage? - YouLookFab Forum

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How much is too much...damage?

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

I’ve been wearing 2 long trench-ish coats all spring and I notice that they’re showing wear at the points of contact with my crossbody laptop bag (shoulder where strap hangs, and hip where bag swings back and forth). Not too surprising, given the amount I walk (about 5 miles a day) and the amount of weight in that bag. They’re both about 2 years old. One coat was cheap (H&M) and one super pricey because of import tax (Club Monaco), but damage is about the same on both (shrug). Unfortunately I use them both for work outfits, so I would rather not look too rough.

How much wear and tear do you allow before you say goodbye to an item? This damage, for example, is not visible from afar but definitely visible from within a few feet (like, conversation distance). And I don’t think it’s repairable— we’re talking fabric worn thin, beyond just pilling. Curious to know how others make the decision to cut losses.

Dressing

41 replies

Latest reply was from Sally B

rachylou

Veteran

That happened to something of mine not so long ago... It was getting worn out from my car seatbelt actually. I don’t know that I can describe the damage, but I decided it was ruined. Was right on the front and a rather large patch, maybe a 2x2 area. I suppose ‘frayed’ is when I feel something has to go. But I guess, also, I stick to a one-coat-a-year policy. So I’ve patched a puffy that I accidentally snipped with scissors, for example, to make it last that year. If I’d made a big cut, tho, I probably wouldn’t have kept on with it. I also got rid of a raincoat this year - whole swaths of the faux leather had scraped off on the back of the forearms - but then I don’t know how long I’d worn it that way before noticing. It was something I only wore in miserable rain, where perhaps I was too consumed with my misery to look at the coat.

Preppy Pear

Veteran

Without seeing pictures, I’d be just fine with wear/thinning you describe (does the color in those spots look vastly different, as though bleached or stained)? I personally would be less fine with stains and rips. I just replaced my light tan trench coat for heavy all over wear from frequent use and dry cleaning, but it was looking pretty battered.

Bijou

Veteran

With something that I wear regularly, if it gets worn, I will replace once I notice that it is worn and that season has ended. So with your coats, I would buy a new trench next winter. I probably would also invest ina new bag that did not cause this issue, maybe a back pack with padding to avoid the dreaded cross body pilling - which has claimed too much knitwear for me.

nemosmom

Veteran

My tolerance for wear and damage varies, depending on the piece. Sweaters and tees, I am more willing to part with with slight damage, whereas I try to salvage more loved pieces.

Could you put a cool decorative patch over the damaged area? Maybe add a couple of other patches on different areas of the jacket (pocket? Sleeve? Back?) to make it look intentional?

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

So it doesn’t look cool & edgy? Because if it did, I’d be inclined to say you could wear it *to* work as long as you didn’t wear it *at* work, just as there are other parts of your style you leave at the door (though not so literally).

In replacing them, maybe think about what materials get better with wear, like denim and leather.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I don’t have much tolerance for visible wear on pieces that to my mind don’t warrant a “patina” like combat boots, leather motos, or jeans. Especially if something is worn with workwear or isn’t just for super casual wear. I know we all have different wear tolerance levels, but if it’s visible at casual conversation distance, I wouldn’t feel good wearing it. That’s just me though.

Sara L.

Veteran

It depends on how obvious the damage is. If it's something that only I'm going to notice, I'll let it go. If it's something right in front or a large area, I don't have much tolerance.

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

Nemosmom, patches are such a cool idea!
Fashintern, good point about items that are shed at office door....

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

Rachylou, thank you for sharing your scissor story. I thought I was the only one who did that kinda stuff!

Anonymous

I'm with Janet. This is going to sound judgy (and it's not meant to be ) but one's self-respect should preclude wearing things that are just not in good condition. I'm all in favour of taking good care of oneself and the things we wear. Otherwise it just looks like you don't give a ___, which likely isn't how you want to present yourself to the world.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Can you take pics and show us?

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

LisaP, I feel similarly. Though my thrifty side is very whiny about it.

Very interested to hear others’ thought processes though. My hubs, for example, wears stuff to work even when it is frayed or lightly marked (pen ink etc). He says “it’s still a button-down, it’s good enough.” I feel that sharper is better, especially at work. Maybe I feel especially that way in Beijing, where new/clean clothing is very much “the done thing”, perhaps because of recent growth and prosperity. In the US I tend to see worn clothes as tough or authentic, but that doesn’t seem to fly in Beijing in the same way.

taylor

Veteran

Sounds like these items are well loved and well worn . Probably time to replace for something new and pristine.:)

Runcarla

Veteran

I was thinking along the lines of nemos'smom re: patches. Maybe a leather patch over one shoulder, like on a rifleman' sweater? But, only if you really love it. It will allow for continued use of the bag that caused the wear, too.

I get so disappointed when an item causes damage, or clothing doesn't hold up. DS had a spendy winter jacket that pilled horribly from his messenger bag. Soooo disappointing. A pair of cool stylish trousers pilled on the hip where by cross body rubbed, and I couldn't unsee the damage. Pilling has really put me off synthetics.

Gretchen

Veteran

For me, if it's noticeable at conversation distance, it's time to repair or retire. It's more that I wouldn't feel comfortable in it.

Jessikams I think our husbands share the same approach. Mine just had a button down fray to the point that the fabric split. We had a good laugh about his "incredible hulk moment" and he finally retired the unwearable shirt!

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Pilling is my bugaboo but I am sure I wear tired looking bags frequently. I am not into that everything is squeaky clean and new look for myself (as I would never be able to leave the house). Need pictures to assess the case at hand.

Kathie

Veteran

For work clothes, I prefer for items to be reasonably crisp, and not pilled, thinning, or faded. I do try to learn from what's happened. For example, after wearing through the elbows on two cashmere sweaters, I realized that I was leaning on my elbows a lot. In your case, I'd likely buy a new trench next fall, and figure out a different bag, or a different way to wear it. For weekend clothes, I'm far less picky, since my weekends are spent watching kids' sports. I'm starting to think about my commuting shoes- although I shed those at work, I run into a lot of people on my way into the office, so I'm thinking I might want to start applying closer to my work standards for those.

Echo

Veteran

I look at things very much like Janet. There are some items that are better with wear, but as for crisper items, signs of wear ruin the look for me. I have a pair of five buckle boots that get better every year, but most other clothing is a loss for me once it shows clear signs of wear.

Gigi

Veteran

I personally don't feel very good wearing things that are showing wear. To me, if the wear is obvious at conversation distance, then it is time to start looking for a replacement piece.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

"IDGAF" is the new RATE

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

My photo attempts have failed utterly- just a dark blur when I get close up- but that’s ok, as I was really just more interested to hear the variety of perspectives. I love all your unique voices— RunCarla’s impossibility of “unseeing,” Shevia’s desire to just leave the house!, Gretchen’s husband as the Hulk....

Anonymous

It depends on how much I love or need the item! If it's not a workhorse and I don't love it, I'll pass things on with a small amount of wear. But if it's a wardrobe essential or something I really love, and can't afford to replace it (or can't find something I like as much) it stays long past it's prime.

Sal

Veteran

Mmmm it depends. Mostly on what the item is, where I wear it, how much I like it. I am okay with wear on many things - but there does come a point......

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I've lived in Asia and in Europe. You are dead right in my experience, Jessikams.

In London, Amsterdam and Paris - a worn trench is no problem. Part of urban grit. Chanel bags are quite beaten up!

In Hong Kong and Japan - it's seen as more problematic. Very pristine and polished styles everywhere. Chanel bags are immaculate.

Astrid

Veteran

To me items truly wearing out is a good thing, because it usually shows me that I got my money's worth out of them. Most of the clothing which gets thrown away isn't near the point of wearing out... I'm usually fine with a bit of wear, in fact I'm not a pristine dresser at all. But there's a point where I just have to let go. I guess when that point is depends on you as a person and your environment...

I'm all for shopping responsibly and buying only what you need, but I never wear worn out or damaged clothes. I either try to fix them (in case of torn seams, lost buttons and so on) or I let them go. So I say buy a new coat!

Just yesterday I realised that I've worn my favourite denim jacket through at the elbows. There's already a hole on one side and the other isn't far away. I've been wearing it for at least five years, so I'm happy with the wear I got out of it. It was a wardrobe workhorse in summer, so I'm going to shop for a direct replacement.

The Cat

Veteran

What Janet and lisa p said. (So, you see, it's not just them. )

Jane

Veteran

I find very heavily worn items difficult to wear. I might consign from work to home wardrobe, but eventually, they just don't get picked out from my wardrobe. For me, it is particulary bags that start to look worn. as I am very heavy with them - or so it seems to me! I am quite surprised that H&M wears the same as the CM trench.

Anonymous

This whole conversation is making me very anxious I notice EVERYTHING and just can’t with worn out clothes that are not meant to be that way . I want to take that person aside and ask if they require assistance , or an intervention - lol.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I get furious if I think it is too soon with what I think of as a quality brand. And that’s where being the forum’s resident tightwad helps, if I have got it at an outlet store, on sale, designer garage sale at Fashion Week, or whatever. You’re saying it’s kind of fair enough because of all the walking in those coats? I would still feel cross about the Club Monaco one more than the H&M one. I might still ditch them if you can see it at conversation distance because I don’t feel as good with much visible wear. I can cope with some. I’m with Sal I think, may be our shared Kiwi culture, there does come a point...And since you’re in Beijing it may be best to follow your surrounding culture.
But I totally understand your thrifty side feeling whiny. My thrifty side is most of me with a very small side of “seize the day” which mostly appears with shoes! So I would be buying a cheap one next time but maybe updating the bag as Bijou suggests so it doesn’t happen- or if buying a more expensive coat then *definitely* updating the bag.
My husband is also more willing to wear worn stuff than me. He uses his father’s saying ( his father now 88 years old) of “It’s all right”. I don’t always agree!

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