How hairy will you go? - YouLookFab Forum

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How hairy will you go?

Maya

Veteran

This is a mildly personal question but I have been dying to know: How far do you go to eliminate body hair, and how much of it are you willing to live with?

I ask because--I will be blunt--I am a hairy girl. Always have been. I spent a long time being embarrassed and ashamed but after a certain point, I just stopped caring about it. I don't know if it's my ethnicity, hormones, or if it's simply because the hair is darker or thicker, but it's very visible and it's everywhere from my tummy to my back and even on my fingers. I realized one day that I was just not willing to spend so much time and money trying to be completely smooth--which is totally unnatural and odd anyway.

My other problem is that I absolutely hate all hair removal processes. I have already tried whatever advice you will probably want to give me to make it less irritating, but nothing makes the process any more comfortable. Shaving makes my skin itchy and red and waxing/sugaring is painful and time consuming. I go all winter without shaving my legs. I just don't see any point. I wear tights, leggings, and pants every day, and my legs are so much more comfortable when I just leave them alone. I will continue to shave my armpits because that just feels gross to me, but that's about it. By summer, I'll reluctantly remove the leg hair because I suppose I'm just not brave/confident enough to deal with the nasty glares and snickering. Everything else I just leave alone. It would be a day and a half long task to try and get rid of all the hair that I'm supposed to be embarrassed by.

I know a lot of girls my age who are mortified to have even a single hair on their body except for their head, eyelashes, and eyebrows. I know lots of fair blonde girls who appear to have no hair at all who seem unreasonably concerned by it. I often wonder what they think of me. Do they pity me? Are they disgusted b me? I don't really care but I'm curious. I suppose in the end I just don't find body hair all that offensive. It's not really an issue of hygiene, except maybe in the armpit region. It's just another weird and unreasonable aesthetic issue to me. What about you?

General

33 replies

Latest reply was from taylor

ChristineB

I'm fairly hairy as well. My arm hair isn't dark, but it's plentiful. I'm with you - I'm not a fan of most hair removal options. I was just thinking the other day that I'm going to need to bleach my mustache soon - I refuse to pluck or wax there right now.

It's interesting how, as a society, we (general we) are becoming less tolerant of body hair, in men & women. I wonder why that is.

Anonymous

I once had a German boyfriend who told me German men think body hair on women is sexy. He didn't want me to shave my legs or even armpits.
So maybe it's an American thing or maybe it was just his personal preference.
Anyway, not all men want hairless women :o) Do what you are comfortable with

Anonymous

Well I think it is great that you have brought this subject out of the closet. I am an average fair skin and fair hair gal who spent my youth being horrified that I had dark patches of hair where girls should not. I mean I lived in terror of being found out to be a freak. As I have aged the hair has thinned in those odd places and lightened. Just as the eyebrows lighten and thin on a lot of people with age. I also learned how to deal with the issue with meds and removal. Yes meds for this. It sounds crazy now.

shiny

Veteran

I'm one of those fair blonde people who's hair isn't all that noticeable.

Year-round, all I do is shave my armpits and my legs from ankle to knee. It takes 2 minutes to do both. Except for a few times back in my teens, I don't bother shaving higher than my knee anymore.

I do shave below the knee year-round, because if I don't I get all prickly from the stubble. I suppose I could let it grow long enough not to be stubbly, but I never seem to have the patience to endure the prickles long enough.... especially in the winter, when my skin is dry and itchy as it is. I also consider the leg-shaving to be a form of sloughing for dry skin.

Otherwise, I have a constant battle with my eyebrows!!! This didn't start until the last 5 years or so, and I'm sure it's hormonal or age-related. For most of my life, I didn't have to pluck my brows at all. But as I've gotten older, they've become unruly, and not in a trendy Brooke Sheilds kinda way. I can probably get away without plucking, but the individual hairs grow REALLY LONG. That bugs me the most. It just looks bizarre, having these super long eyebrow hairs growing this way and that.

So the extent of my hair removal process for eyebrows is that I go and get them threaded about once every 6 weeks, and the technician probably spends more time trimming than threading. I love the effect so it's worth the 5 minutes of discomfort. I do not think I could tolerate waxing - I am the type of person who keeps band-aids on until they fall off, rather than ripping them off!

When I was an exchange student in europe at 17, I got used to seeing women with armpit hair and I grew my own out. If it was more acceptable in our society, I'd probably just keep it hairy, because it is a lot more comfortable and you don't get bumps and ingrown hairs and such.

I guess I do have quite a bit of facial hair when you look closely - it's blonde and fine. This never bugs me. I only get annoyed when one or two hairs decides to grow long. Then I am apt to pluck these errant few hairs out. I don't know why hairs suddenly decide to grow like that.

Anonymous

Shiny you are funny the way you describe hairs as deciding to grow long. You made me laugh today. It's good to laugh on a cold winter day.

shiny

Veteran

San, I read your post after I sent mine. I am feeling better now - maybe this is their "last hurrah" and then they'll thin out and become less of a nuisance? That would be nice!!

Lee Hovey

I have experience growth of facial hair the last year and it has really bothers me. The doctor thought it was because of the IUD (along with other sideaffects), so I just had that taken out. I am hoping the hair will go away now, please!

I have a frienbd who is an astetitician (sp?), and she did electrolosis on my eyesbrows for me because I am legally blind in one eye so they were horrible uneven. Now I just have to pluck a few hairs every once in a while to keep them clean.

I also started doing laser on my chin and neck with her, and it was great! I only did 3 sessions and stopped because I couldn't afford it anymore. If i could I would finish a cycle to see the results. But I didn't mind either laser or electrolosis. There was some pain, but tolerable at the moment, and well worth the confidence it provided me.

Maya

Veteran

San, it was actually prompted by one of my doctors asking me if my mother had trouble conceiving and a number of other hormone-related questions due to my hairness. I hadn't even come to see her regarding anything like that (I was there for my thyroid test), but she decided to ask anyway! I know she was just concerned but really, unless I told her I was planning to have kids or was somehow related to the issue I came to discuss, I don't think it was really necessary to mention it and bring back a flood of insecurities from my childhood...

Anyway, she said if I ever wanted to be tested and treated for excessive testosterone, I would have to stop taking my BC, which I declined. There is no way I am going back to monthly pain and misery and a face full of acne just to get rid of some hair. I am not sure if that's what you are talking about, but it's at least one medical reason.

Sorry if that was TMI...

I just wonder if it's considered unstylish, in the sense of looking unpolished. Even if the answer is affirmative, I doubt I would do anything about it because I put my personal comfort above everything else, but I'm curious. I remember Angie mentioning shaving in her blog post on polish, but I'm not sure if that just referred to legs or every last visible body hair.

Shiny, I actually do get my eyebrows done as well. But I think that is in its own category. Reshaping brows is a very different thing than waxing them off completely. Armpits are actually the one thing I would continue to shave because I just don't like the idea of the hair holding on to sweat and odor...eww. One of my friends said she just shaved her legs because she prefers how they feel and likes the smoothness. Mine are never smooth when I shave. No matter how close, there will always be some bumpiness.

When I was 12-13, I did get my legs waxed. Now that I look back on it, I must have really been mortified because I don't think I could stand the pain now. Guess the pain of being teased was worse.

I have often heard that hairiness isn't much of an issue in Germany, and also France. I have a friend who moved to Germany to be with her boyfriend. Perhaps I'll ask if she has changed her grooming rituals, hehe.

Kari

Veteran

Maya, your subject heading cracked me up! (Though I'm sorry that your doctor's questions triggered some sensitive issues.)

I have fairly light body hair, but have longer-than-normal hair (and more of it) on my arms, and it's a bit more visible too because my skin is really pale. I was so self-conscious about my arms when I was a young teen, but no one else ever seemed to notice or comment, and eventually I just gave up caring. I also remember having VERY long hair on my lower back when I was a kid, but this seems to have decreased after getting on BC, and now I just swipe at it once a month with a razor.

I don't mind the actual ritual of hair removal (except that I nick my legs with a razor pretty often) but my hair grows back so quickly! When I shave in the morning (a fresh 5-blade razor with either bath gel or oil, sometimes exfoliating first, so I can get the cleanest shave possible) I can still feel stubble by evening.

I have full eyebrows and have kept them full even when pencil-thin brows were in style, but I've been working on grooming them. For the past couple years I've been working at defining my brow width and arch shape, literally one hair at a time to make sure I don't over-do it. A couple months ago I decided that I like their current shape so I'm just plucking strays as they re-emerge.

Personally, I do get a bit thrown off (but not disgusted) when I see underarm hair under a sleeveless top, but that's partly because as an American, I'm not used to seeing women with underarm hair. I really don't see a reason to remove every visible body hair unless it's a hygeine issue or unless the hair in a certain area is making you terribly self-conscious.

cyan45

wow, awesome topic!!!

i am hairy too, and DARK with fair skin i've done shaving, waxing, threading (indian technique), plucking.

my big issue is facial hair--i'm starting to sprout growths like my grandma, lol. does electrolysis have any disadvantages (permanent scarring, liability issues, etc...) aside from the price? i don't mind shaving my body (although in winter, i'm lazy), but visible facial hair--upper lip, around the face, chin--along with my breast area is just embarrassing!

oops, TMI sorry!

Anonymous

It does seem odd for a doctor to talk about an issue you didn't come in for.
When I was in my early 30's I mentioned my problem to a doctor who said that a certain diuretic would lessen the problem by affecting the hormone. This doctor was a specialist in fertility, as well as a Gyn. The diuretic really did work for the hair. It worked double well for me because the need for a diuretic is very common with the women in my family. I am reluctant to say the name of the drug here but if you want to know I could probably email it privately and then you could talk to your doctor about it. I am 54 now so I have been taking it for a long time.
With the eyebrows thinning out with age, I have seen it in my family and in myself, and heard a bit of chatter here on the forum. In my family we tend to have heavy eybrows as youths and now I am using an eyebrow set by Anastasia to fill in the color. I love it. I was very surprised how much I had missed having eyebrows to frame my eyes when the gal put this on me.

Louise

Veteran

Eyebrows- mine are quite bushy if left to their own devices, however can usually find something more interesting to do and plucking hurts like hell so often go several weeks without doing them.

Legs- especially in winter as i wear knee high socks and trousers usually about once a week, more often in summer when legs on show.

Armpits- get sore if do them too often but hate getting sweaty so usually every couple of days

Thanks for starting this thread don't feel so abnormal over the leg thing now x

shiny

Veteran

Maya, did your doctor mention PCOS - polycystic ovarian syndrome? If so, I might encourage you to get the testosterone test someday, because PCOS causes other health issues and not just infertility.

Lee, if I may ask, was your IUD hormonal or non-hormonal? I had to switch to a non-hormonal IUD about 9 years ago because I had strokes while on the pill. When I initially went off the pill, my hair fell out in clumps all at once. It was quite distressing!! I lost about 2/3rds of my hair - which was already fine and thin to begin with. What was left was mostly the more stubborn, coarse gray hairs. It took months and months for it to grow back in. And now, it grows weirdly, with these bizarre long errant hairs. Nothing anyone would probably notice - just me.

I can no longer take any hormonal form of BC. It's very interesting to be at the whims of my natural hormonal cycle. Complicating matters, at 43, I never quite know what is "normal" and what is "pre-menopause." My doctor thinks I am "borderline" PCOS. Nothing that needs treatment - it's mild compared to what some women experience. But I do need to keep my weight and diet under control (diet = essentially a diabetic diet).

shiny

Veteran

And Maya... regarding smelly armpits, that is the whole purpose of hair there. It is thought that the hair holds in the scent better. There really are men that think it's quite sexy, believe it or not. And women too.... but there is some science that suggests that if you are on the pill, your sense of smell for these things is all whacked out.

My mother is convinced I'd never married my first husband if I hadn't already been on the pill. Liking someone's scent is very important part of attraction, and the pill mucks it all up. So lesson is: don't marry anyone unless you've had a chance to get to know them while not on the pill or other hormones!!! If you don't like the way your mate smells, it is doom for the relationship eventually.

Okay now I'm getting WAAAYYY off topic... sorry, this sort of stuff has always interested me so I've read way too much about it.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Okay. This thread tops it all.

Dawn

(website)

Interesting topic Maya! Like Shiny, I am a fair-skinned and fair-haired person so I don't really have a problem with visible hair. Generally I dislike having to shave legs as it's hassle in the morning when I'm in a rush out of the door. Generally I'll shave if I know that I'll be wearing tights or during the summer but during the winter, I tend not to shave my legs. My armpits are shaven quite frequently. My eyebrows are quite thick and grow quite quickly so I tend to tidy them up every second week.

Weirdly enough, my boyfriend doesn't care whether I shave my legs or not. I don't think it's a European thing though as Ireland tends to be quite similar to the US in terms of its social norms about body hair. There definitely is a social pressure amongst women below the age of forty here to remove any visible body hair.

I spotted your topic when it was first posted. At the time, the tv was also on and the ad breaks were being played. Overall there were two ads for female beauty products; both of them were concerned with hair removal. One of them was for an antiperspirant that also acted as a hair minimiser and the other was a new Gillette Venus razor with five blades. Both these ads portrayed having body hair as something that is disgusting and off-putting.

Shiny: I have read similar research about armpit hair. It is there to amplify the pheromones which are only present in the armpits' sweat glands and play a role in sexual attraction.

Maya

Veteran

Sorry Angie! I just wanted to see how much maintenance is normal and the topic went off course a bit.

Shiny, I don't get tested/treated for things that don't cause me any discomfort or problems (other than routine tests). I'm sure it's not that anyway. I'm hairy because my mother is hairy, and she is hairy because my grandmother is hairy. We're middle-eastern and Indian. It's a fact of life. I have no reason to think otherwise.

I think we have had the sweat discussion before. I don't think I ever found the odor appealing even before I went on the pill. Maybe the reason I am never attracted to anyone is because I don't understand this smelling stuff. I don't know what it means to like someone's smell. I find all body odor pretty foul, whether I'm on the pill or not. I like people to either smell like nothing or smell like fresh laundry.

San, you don't have to tell me anything. I am quite sure my hair is quite normal for someone of my coloring and background and it's not a health issue.

Lee Hovey

Cyan: I have no scarring from electrolysis. For the first couple weeks the pores that were zapped appeared enlarged, but that has gone away. I think they only recommend it in smaller areas or specific hairs because it can be time consuming. For larger areas the laser is better but takes more treatments and much more expensive.

Shin: I had Mirena, which has a tiny bit of hormone. I had a whole slew of seemingly minor side affects, but having so many at the same time became life changing.

shana

Veteran

Maya, you crack me up:) I agree - I think the hair is an ethnic thing (and not some medical issue). Indians & people from the middle east are hairy so you have the best of both worlds!!! Despite being Indian, I think I'm sort of middle of the road when it comes to being hairy. I have been at the gym with some Italian women who seem to have much more hair. Or maybe it's just the skin tone/hair color thing because these are women with pale skin and dark hair whereas I am dark skinned with dark hair so it seems less obvious.

Honestly, I have never worried much about my body hair. I do have some friends who seem to go to extreme methods - getting their entire face threaded or waxed, waxing their arms etc. I get my eyebrows done, shave my underarms year-round and shave my legs in the summer (like Shiny, I do just from the knees down) and that's about it. I have been shaving my legs once a week for the past couple of months though it is still winter because I wear cropped pants to work out and I don't want any of the other women to scream in terror! I have noticed now that I am getting older that my hair is changing - lots of gray cropping up this year (after all, it is the "in" color!), less hair on my head, longer eyebrow hair (what's up with that??!!?) and I do feel that some of my facial hair (sideburn area) seems to be getting thicker. I'm not really sure if that last one is true or whether I am spending too much time looking in that darn 5X magnification mirror.

BTW, my husband is German and he doesn't seem to mind my hairy legs in the winter but definitely prefers shaved underarms so I don't know if you can generalize about Germans liking their women hairy. My German mother-in-law definitely does not shave her legs but she is a pale blond, so you'd have to look really close to see it anyway.

JewelryGirl

Ok, this is an interesting one...

Eyebrows - about every time I get a haircut which is every 4-6 weeks. I pluck most daily in between...probably a fanatic about this.

Armpits - daily, 2x day when I workout & need a shower.

Legs - at least 1x week, more in the summer

Private area - probably close to the same as legs. Interesting note DD is 15 & they all shave EVERYTHING down there & keep it that way... Gosh, that was an interesting one for Mom to learn...

Thing that disgusts me most - seeing a guy in public with re-growth due to shaving his back...Naaaassssty....Ok, sorry just had to vent!!

carissa

(website)

WOW, I started to post a reply this afternoon, but had to run out to the children's classes and I come back and BOOM, this topic is huge.

I'm fair haired - not very hairy (Angie's comment made me LOL), don't shave pits or legs in winter time, except maybe every couple of months or when husband objects. Currently I probably have 1/2 inch under the arms, its been months since they were shaven. However, we have a pool so I do more maintenance in the summer.

My friend also swears by electrolysis to remove chin hairs and does think its related to POCS. Its probably also defined by heritage/nationality.

Your point is valid: is it worth the time/effort/energy? For this reason I recently stopped coloring my hair after 6 years of blonding; $250 and half a day were no longer worth it. Besides, now the gray is coming in. How's that for off topic?

hanna

(website)

haha, this thread really takes the cake! i admit to having less hair woes than most, just because i'm fair skinned and really not that hairy; even the boyfriend agrees that it's difficult to spot the hairs on my legs even if i haven't shaved for weeks. that said, i do maintain shaving the armpit hairs (just because i feel like being fair, that makes them that much more obvious), and i actually do shave my legs up to the knees when it gets to being skirt season. other than that, the hair is free to roam as it pleases...

Violet

Interesting topic. I'm lucky that even though I have dark hair, it's not too excessive. I try to shave every other day in the winter, but when I wear pants I feel less motivated to do so. I try to keep up with it b/c I don't want to gross out my husband!

In the summer, I wear skirts a lot so I shave pretty much every day.

I shave my armpits every time I shower. I can't stand the feeling of hair in that area.

Luckily, my skin is not sensitive at all, so I can use any type or razor or shave cream and my skin will be okay.

I inherited my dad's unibrow and the first I time I got those shaped was when I got them threaded in India. That hurt a lot since it was the first time. Since then I tweeze on a daily basis.

The only thing I'm self conscious about is hair on my upper lip. I've found some Nair works well for that. I'm to lazy to actually go somewhere to to get waxed or threaded.

anne

Veteran

You ladies who shave your armpits at every shower - do you put deodourent on afterwards? Because I don't use it after I shave, because of possible stinging. But since I only shave every few days (I think? maybe weekly?) that means I can wear it most of the time.
I also only do up to the knees and not all that often in winter. However I am blonde and not very hairy so I don't think it a big deal.
I have never thought much about my eyebrows - don't pluck, don't even use a pencil on them. I don't even know what threading is!

I have just been catching up on the first episode of the TV miniseries "lost in Austen" There were a couple of refs to er, body hair in that. Have any of you seen it?

Violet

Anne - I do put deoderant on after showering and shaving. It's usually a little while afterwards b/c I spend time doing my hair and makeup. Luckily my skin is not sensitive, so I don't experience any burning or irritation.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

No worries, Maya. Feel free to discuss what tickles your fancy and curiosity here on YLF. Sounds like the ladies were happy to share their hairy secrets with you.

I think that you need to address your hairy-ness in ways that make you happy. Culture will play a role. I have Euro family and friends who do not shave and that pleases them. Each to their own.

I am virtually hairless and have never waxed in my life. A weekly shave is barely in order.

Anonymous

Another tidbit on body hair from my diabetic education class...it's a good thing because it means you have good circulation in that area. Hair on my toes now makes me smile knowing it has enough nourishment to grow. Poor circulation in the tiny vessels = hair loss.

Anonymous

That's a great bit of knowledge Joy. I do have hair on my big toes! HaHa! Now I will be happy when I see it knowing I have good enough circulation to keep it there.
For all of you ladies who just don't care about being excessively hairy, good for you. I am pleased that you don't suffer over it like I did.

Maya

Veteran

Nair gave me a chemical burn. Not an experience I would like to revisit anytime soon.

I think since hair is perceived as a male trait, it is just considered undesirable and unfeminine on women. In my dreams, of course I would like to be smooth and hairless because that is the image of beauty I have grown accustomed to, but in reality I know that will never happen unless I'm willing to endure the pain, time, and cost. Anyone who expects that I should do this as a matter of course is not being a very understanding friend, or potential boyfriend.

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