How do you feel when someone else is wearing the exact same thing? - YouLookFab Forum

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How do you feel when someone else is wearing the exact same thing?

Diana

Veteran

This morning, I walked by a girl who was wearing the same (quite distinctive) skirt that I was... we both sort of looked away a little embarrasedly and pretended we didn't notice.

This reminded me of how my friend/former labmate and I used to own the same dress... we found out when we both walked into lab wearing it. Made more awkward by the fact that we literally sat right next to each other all day in lab. Eventually it got to be a joke between us since it seemed to happen all the time. We have very different body types and the dress looked great on both of us!

I've also been to a formal black-tie event, where another girl was wearing the exact same dress I was... that was really awkward.

I have to admit that, in general, it annoys me a little bit when I see someone wearing the same thing... because I like to think my style is distinctive and a little different, and I am the type of person who will become less interested in something if everyone is wearing it. (Of course there are exceptions but generally they are things that are less distinctive, like the black skinny martin pants that it seems like half of us here own).

So how do you all feel about this? Are you flattered, or embarrassed, or annoyed?

General

32 replies

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bj1111

Veteran

i would be embarrassed initially...then i'd probably approach her and tell her she has great taste!

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I'm trying to think if I've ever seen someone in a skirt or dress I have, and I really don't think it's ever happened. I once saw a gal at my pub job wearing an orange version of my purple (recently debubbled) sundress. I was wearing my uniform at the time, since I was working, I just happened to notice it.
I think I might find it funny and I know I would just have to point it out or somehow comment!

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

It used to make me angry. After all, I put a lot of work and thought (not to mention money) into my wardrobe- how dare someone else 'steal' a piece from me!
I actually had a tiff with a girlfriend in Jr. High because she adopted my practice of wearing dad's old dress shirts as a tunic (which practice I think I borrowed from my older sis!)
Nowadays, I can see it from a different angle. I(t sort of tickles me that someone else found something that I did and liked it enough to buy it. I think park of it is my involvement here. There are many pieces that I have that other forum members have, and we all have our unique circumstances that brought us to those purchases and our own ways of styling them. I am now proud to be a dress/top/jacket, etc 'twin', 'triplet', or what have you. It's been a while since I found anyone wearing the same piece on the same day, but I sometimes see someone wearing something that I own while out and about. When I do- I try to get their attention so I can compliment them. I usually say "Hey, I have that same item- great style!"

Aziraphale

Veteran

Flattered! But it never happens to me. Once in a while I'll see someone wearing the same shoes, but that's about it.

A year after I got married, my husband's best friend's fiancee asked to borrow my wedding dress, and I was all kinds of flattered. She looked pretty in it too, although she told me she had to wear heels and stuff her bra a little to make it fit perfectly.

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

I work in an office of mostly women. We have some of the same shoes and pieces. It's actually fun to see how the same item can work on so many different ages, shapes and sizes.

It did annoy me when I spent months looking for the perfect summer presentation dress, and then my co-presenter just ran out and grabbed something the weekend before that was almost identical. Luckily she showed it to me the day before and we were both able to tweak parts of our outfits so we wouldn't look like we were wearing an office uniform.

Beth

Veteran

I have complicated feelings about this. While my style is not particularly distinctive, I have a friend who regularly adopts certain styles or items that I've bought. It wouldn't bother me as much except for the fact that if I'm wearing something she doesn't like or wouldn't feel comfortable wearing herself, she looks me up-and-down with a prune face. It's unconscious on her part, I'm certain, but it's very irritating.

As for strangers wearing the same thing, or a friend *occasionally* wearing the same item, that doesn't bother me at all:)

And what I really love is seeing YLFers wearing the same item, styled in so many different ways. Now that's just fun!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Generally, I'm flattered!

But I wouldn't want to pitch up at an event wearing exactly the same item as someone else.

Diana

Veteran

Chewy and Beth: I definitely agree about loving seeing the same item on different ladies here at YLF! It's such fun! I do think that it has contributed to me feeling more flattered when I see other ladies rocking things that I own. I do still feel a bit embarrassed IRL when I run into someone wearing the same thing as me at the same time though.

Modgrl: I think that giving a presentation in the same outfit as another presenter would be the height of embarrassment... so it's a good thing that you were able to work it out with your coworker!

rae

(website)

Veteran

Y'know... it's never happened to me. I agree that I wouldn't want to show up at an event (party, wedding, etc.) in the same dress as another gal. Hmm... a good argument to buy vintage/secondhand...

Anonymous

My mom and I often shop together and have a somewhat similar build, so we have ended up with a few identical or nearly identical items. I actually think this is kind of fun and we swap styling ideas.

However, if we're headed to the same event and I'm wearing something I know we share I'll call to check that we're not wearing the same thing!

Queen Mum

Veteran

As long as I look better than the other gal in it I don't mind at all
I have a friend who had the same hot pink cardigan as me, and on more than one occasion we both showed up at church in it.
On another Sunday I saw a gal wearing the same dress that I had worn the week before, and my first thought was that I had styled mine cuter.
I am soooo bad!

Beth

Veteran

LOL Kim, you're honest. I like that:)

cora*♥*

It's never happened to me, but I've seen a couple of times two guys find out they are wearing the same t-shirt and that's instant friendship! Gotta love it.

rachylou

Veteran

Oh, this topic reminds me of this guy I call The Flatliner. He was nouveau with a vengeance, but also the potential to be The Old B*st*rd patriarch of some future family. He told me about this girl he'd dated, whom he escorted to a ballet fundraiser or something. Someone else had her dress on, and there was hoopla about taking her home to change when they'd already been extraordinarily delayed by her first round of dressing... mm, yeah, I think if your dress is off-the-rack, be prepared to form a merry club. You'll have more fun and people will like you better. (But he could have been nicer about it.)

...I'm also reminded of a time in high school when a GUY copied one of my style affectations. I admit to feeling a little bit ripped off there... and also weirded out. But *whatever* in the long run. I'm Rachy Lou not Rachel Zoe. I will never make my fortune with a clothing line.

Astrid

Veteran

It never happened to me before. I think it wouldn't bother me, because the other person would almost certainly wear it very differently. I think it would be interesting to see the way someone else styled the item. I think it's only embarrassing when the other person wears the same thing with the same look allover and you have to spend some time side by side.

catgirl

Veteran

This happens fairly often here, as there are limited shopping options. Costco now carries some upscale clothing that everyone will have, like 7FAMK jeans. Mostly we just laugh and say, "Costco?"... I don't really mind unless it's something like a dress at a wedding.

NK

(website)

I remember my mother getting rid of a dress after seeing another woman from church, who she didn't particularly like, wearing the same dress.

I went out with a friend to dinner and I was embarrassed when she showed up in essentially the same outfit, mostly because she's tall and slender and I then felt extra short and dumpy next to her.

I do however love seeing people post the same items of clothing I have just to see how they put outfits together.

Atlantia

Veteran

I guess its a sad reflection on my poor self esteem that whenever I see anyone wearing the same thing as me that I always think the other person pulled it off better. Maybe a little more time as part of the YLF community and that won't happen any more, no?

Carole

Veteran

I was on a holiday in Paris with my daughter earlier this year and walked out our hotel and onto the sidewalk and a woman walking right behind me had the same exact scarf on that I was wearing. I was a little shocked and both of us just pretended we didn't notice. How crazy is that?!

MsMaven

Veteran

I once attended a wedding in the same outfit as the Matron of Honor. I had worn it to my son's college graduation and thought it was great for a wedding. I told Ms. Matron that I thought she had great taste! She was nervous anyway and might not have noticed, but I'm glad I said something.

I later mentioned it to her brother, the bridegroom, and he didn't realize it was the same outfit. In fact, I don't think any of the men knew the difference. The top had quite a memorable print--but they didn't notice. I'm sure some of the women realized it, but no one said anything to me. For the record, she was tiny, slender, petite while I am quite a bit taller. And less slender.

I learned a lot from that experience, and if it ever happens again, I will complement my twin on her great taste. Also, there is a lot to say for solid colors at an important event.

Sylvie

Veteran

Passing by someone in a public venue would never be an issue. I'm only going to care if it's at a social event where people are mingling.

Even then, if the outfit is something simple or that doesn't invite comparisons, it's fine. The same shoes are fine even if they're distinctive and the same relatively plain dress, top, bottom or coat are if they're styled differently.

However if we're both wearing the same "focal piece", such as a printed dress with minimal accessories, people's eyes will naturally be drawn to the differences between us. If the person is significantly prettier by conventional western standards, it would hurt my ego a little. Of course, my husband would then assure me of his belief in my superior beauty and I'd get over myself.

Oh and if it was a friend who had or was wearing the same thing as me, I'd be the first to walk up and compliment them on their great taste in clothing.

Girl X

(website)

Veteran

I'm not sure I would even notice. I wore a uniform throughout highschool and grew accustomed to everyone looking unique while dressed almost identically.

taylor

Veteran

that has never happened with a stranger, however...

I once had a "friend" who would always ask "what are you wearing" when we had plans and then would try and trump it with her identical outfit..bigger more expensive jewelry etc....the last straw was a formal event..I was sooo excited when I showed her my skirt...later that week she found my exact taffeta skirt....When she told me she was wearing it, because she found it on E-bay I was sooo disappointed and P.Oed.:( ...I wore something else,She wore the fabulous black taffetta skirt that was our last event together!

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

It has definitely happened to me before. I get overly friendly and gush ... "OMG! THAT LOOKS SO GOOD ON YOU! I GUESS GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE!"

My friend and I had the same green dress. After I tried the above move on her, that dress is now definitely 100% mine. She never wears it. Ever. And is mortified whenever anyone mentions the day we wore the same thing.

Kate

Veteran

I think it bothers me more when I generally "match" with someone than if we happen to have the same item. I went to a 4th of July party this year and almost all of the women there (including me) were wearing red dresses. It was kinda cute, but it made me wish I'd opted for something else.

One day in class we realized that a row of us were all matching. I was on the left in gray and navy stripes, then navy and green stripes, then another navy and green stripes, and on the right was green and white stripes. Completely unplanned, and in a seminar of about 7-8 students. And all of us were wearing jeans. Luckily it was hilarious, but after that I paid attention to my peers' shirt rotations so that I wouldn't end up wearing that gray and navy striped cardigan on the wrong day again. After a couple months I passed the cardi on to my sister, the colors are better for her anyway.

ETA: Also, I own several of the same things as my sister and/or mom (we all have the north face grace jacket) but in different colors. We tend to avoid matching when we're in the same place, but we do all wear our jackets together

Scarlet

Veteran

I don't think this has ever happened to me. The closest thing is when someone shows up in a similar version to what I am wearing, e.g. similar elements, color scheme, and then I get a kick out of it and usually say something. If it were a formal event though, I would probably feel uncomfortable.

Elly

Veteran

I think the last time I had this "problem" I was in high school. I lived in podunk-ville and it was a constant problem. However, I didn't really have to adapt because I wasn't very popular socially, so most of the time the other person would quit wearing their item so as not to be associated with me. I also had fewer things than most of the young ladies, so I was going to wear mine, hell or high water!

As an adult, I almost never have this problem because of my body type and shape. I have broad shoulders, long legs and arms, a curvy behind, big bust, and small waist. It makes for a nightmare when shopping, but unless I alter or am wearing something unflattering I don't find many people wearing the clothes I wear.

AJ

Veteran

Queen Mum - You crack me up and if it happened to me, I'd probably think the same way. Hee-hee!

Kelly

(website)

This happened to me just a couple of weeks ago! I have a black and white midi-length skirt that I rarely wear, because it is just kind of difficult to style. The white part of it is floral cutouts around the bottom of the skirt. I acquired the skirt at a swap; it wasn't something I bought myself so I had no idea where it came from. My friend that I got it from lived in New York and LA the last few years so I assumed it came from one of those cities.

Two Sundays ago at church, I wore it with a black and white striped top to try some pattern mixing. I arrived at church to see an acquaintance (someone I really only know in passing and who is also old enough to be my mother) wearing the exact same skirt! I was really shocked because it is a rather distinctive-looking skirt. I pointed at her and said "oh my gosh" and we laughed about it. She said that she'd seen me wear it before and it reminded her that she had it and still liked it.

I honestly was slightly annoyed at first because I thought it was a very unique item, but, the woman is usually dressed fairly stylishly and we had also styled the skirt very differently. She looked a little more formal in it with the white blousy top she chose and I looked younger and more on the modern side.

I wouldn't want it to happen very often, and I think it depends on how the person dresses regularly (if they are usually a bad dresser, I might reconsider the article of clothing, I think), but I think if it does happen again I'll just have to take it in stride.

ETA: I found a picture of the skirt online but when I tried to see it on the actual site it was from, it didn't show up so I saved the picture and am uploading it here.

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