How Do You Do a Wardrobe Reset? - YouLookFab Forum

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How Do You Do a Wardrobe Reset?

Thistle

Veteran

I have struggled with my weight my whole life, and people told me it would only get worse at 40.

I didn't believe them.

I was wrong.

So, as I struggle with an even larger challenge, I am wondering if any of you have interim strategies to deal with it. I honestly don;t know if I will get to where I want to be and stay there. I meet with my doctor again in two weeks to talk about it.

But, I simply don't feel fabulous in anything. I wear a basic uniform to work of black/navy/charcoal trousers and a sweater, perhaps a top with a cardigan.

Perhaps I just need to stick with it as I figure out other issues. Or maybe I just need to buy a super cool pair of ultimate comfy shoes

Dressing

26 replies

Latest reply was from Thistle

Bijou

Veteran

Whilst you are dealing with health issues you need to feel fab. Your basic uniform sounds good - but does it spark joy? Probably not...

So I would buy something that does spark joy. For me, a great coat sparks joy. Statement shoes and bags, scarves, new hair do or glasses - all of these can help make me feel good about myself and also can be worn no matter what my weight is.

Currently I am at my preferred weight (well admittedly losing a few pounds would be nice). When I was about 7 pounds heavier, I bought this coat and I just loved everything about it and still do. I have always felt fab in it and it was perfect over a dark neutral column and was so easy to wear because it is not figure hugging.

Thistle we all go through body changes and most of us have dealt with the ups and downs of weight gain. Your health is the most important thing and fashion is there to make you feel fab. I am sure you look fab at any size.

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Aquamarine

Veteran

I sympathize. It’s really, really hard by a certain age to not gain weight or lose it, especially when you are busy caring (and cooking) for a growing family while working full time.

I agree with Bijou. Find some items that make you happy at your current weight. For me, that might be shoes, jewelry, a new haircut, makeup...

The time will come when you can focus on YOU, so be gentle with yourself in the meantime.

celia

Veteran

I am sorry you have to go trough this buy I am sure you look fabulous no matter what.
My thoughts are along Bijou's. Buy an item of clothing that looks fabulous on you and sparks joy, preferably something you can wear often.
If you can buy a few items that spark joy and you can match with existing items it will boost your confidence.

cindysmith

Veteran

Ugh, I feel your pain. I'm pushing 50, and losing this weight is HARD! I hope you and your doctor find something that works for you and helps you stay healthy. I'm having extra struggles with it because of old injuries coming back to haunt me big time. Enough about me. You came here asking for suggestions, so sorry for dumping that on you.

As for wardrobe, I've been shopping a horrifying amount of fast fashion lately (I'd say almost half of my shopping). It isn't ideal; however, I lead a very rural life that just chews up clothes, so no matter what I buy to wear, there's a risk of it leaving my closet very quickly due to irreparable damage. The fast fashion pieces allow me to wear something stylish without breaking the bank, and could work to inject a little color or try a trend as you wait and see where you and your body settle in.

I have been doing a lot of thrift shopping, too. Ive found some great pieces for my casual (non working) days, since my home life is slightly less stressful on my clothes. I found a Vince top for ninety nine cents!. I've also found several pairs of pants that I wear to my clothes-eating job; they allow me to feel pretty good about my outfit without being crushed when the inevitable occurs and I rip or stain something at work. Thrift and consignment are one of my favorite ways to shop for fab pieces whether I'm trying to lose weight OR reasonably sure I'll stay the same size. Its a more environmentally friendly way to add color or try a trend, without breaking the bank.

Another way I make my outfits a bit snazzier is accessories. They're generally easier than clothes, because I don't have to worry about whether or not a necklace or bracelet fit my waist AND my backside AND my inseam. Brooches, scarves, hats, bracelets, necklaces, earrings, even shoes are all good ways to make a "uniform" formula of dressing feel less "uniform"-y. Bonus points for the fact that none of those items are much affected by weight changes, so they can stick around after you lose the weight. I only own one handbag because changing them out is a total pain for me, but handbags are another great way to add pizzazz to a "uniform" formula if you don't mind changing bags.

I'll end this with (((hugs))) because you deserve to feel fabuloius in your clothes no matter what else is going on in your life

Sara L.

Veteran

Maybe a couple new tops in a fun pattern or color would help. Also, a new scarf could help liven up the existing sweaters you have. I think you mentioned in the past that you don't wear scarves but I don't remember the reasons why. Maybe a thin, silky one would be good to try as it would be lightweight and easier to get used to wearing.

gradfashionista

(website)

Veteran

Having a shape that’s in flux is so much harder than simply being at an undesirable weight, even if the markers for health (blood panel, bone density, etc.) are fine. It’s hard to shop and dress! I hope you and your doctor are able to find a regimen that offers you healthy stability, even if it’s at a higher weight than you’d prefer.

A mixture of old and new lessons that I’ve learned:

*Splurge on accessories, which are immune to fluctuations and can still make you feel fabulous
*Reassess your body type and the features you want to highlight. They might have changed, but if you’re dressing out of habit, you’re probably not reaching for styles that make you feel fab.
*Shop in small stores (so you don’t feel overwhelmed), or larger stores if you have an SA, and be open to SAs’ suggestions. They might bring you garments that look drab on the hanger, but look amazing on you, and would have otherwise have gone overlooked if you’d been shopping alone.
*Be open to more fitted silhouettes. I think the instinct with weight gain is to hide one’s weight—from ourselves, our family, our friends, and our colleagues—but it usually results in our not looking our best. I’ve slowly been trying on bodycon styles as of late, because my default style (loose tops, BF bottoms) isn’t doing me any favours. It’s an adjustment, but a close friend can be helpful in removing any distorted body image ideas.

Good luck!

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I think just making some minor changes until you get sorted out with your health might be the best way to go. I've been taking more advantage of shopping online secondhand via ebay recently to lower my total shopping budget so that might be one idea if you don't want to invest a lot into clothing that may not fit in another year.

Be kind to yourself and focus on the positive things in life - weight fluctuations happen to nearly everyone at different points in life and if it is a health related issue your positivity will be instrumental in getting things back on the track you want.

JAileen

Veteran

Your uniform sounds good. I like the idea of accessories. Do you wear scarves? Maybe a new bag would make your uniform feel new.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Nice hair ,nice make up ,do your nails,toes and fingers.Wear things that your size doesn’t matter ,scarves,hats,shoes,jewellery in other words value yourself now as you are don’t wait until everything is “perfect” you will feel better if you do and good luck with your health issues.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Read these posts, Thistle. You might find them helpful:

https://youlookfab.com/2015/11.....e-renewal/

https://youlookfab.com/2015/12.....style-rut/

Anonymous

As I mentioned in your other thread, I'm right there with you. And to be frank, none of the advice I've received from any source has really proven effective. I am wearing the most horrible uniform for work these days too and shake my head at how far I've fallen. I went through a period of buying "place holder" pants - something to wear while I lost weight - yeah right. All that came of that was a selection of cheap clothes that were supposed to tide me over - until what?? Sure, accessories help - my new McQueen scarf has actually been a godsend in the past two weeks, saving my plain outfits from looking inappropriate at best. I am relying on my collection of outerwear to get me through - which only helps if you spend your day in a coat and don't need to take it off. The process of dropping weight and changing shape clearly doesn't happen quickly at our/my age (not sure how old you are - I think I'm older) and buying new clothes that you actually like and can wear in the interim is so costly. All this is to say - I'm not sure there really is a solution ,unless you have a huge clothing budget and can buy a lot of beautiful new things. What does work for me right now are - and this sounds GROSS but..- elastic waist pants. Aritzia and MPG have pants that are fine for work and actually look good and allow you to achieve a decent fit without spending $$ on alterations.

The rest of it is a crapshoot. I hope you find a path through this that doesn't drive you crazy, and always know you have commiseration here when you need it.

rachylou

Veteran

Thistle, you know, it sounds to me like you’re at the start of something new. I mean, you got your book published! I would not be surprised if your old uniform isn’t exactly expressing your very successful self and the place you’ve now arrived at. I think you should play in your closet. Assess what you’ve got against what you’re doing with your time now and your style identity. It would be fun!

gryffin

Veteran

Thistle - so sorry it's been a rough patch for you. I agree with Lisa - I would buy things that you can wear any weight. A gorgeous scarf, necklace, broach, earrings, shoes, bag, hair cut etc - if they tickle your fancy. If not a great coat, trench, sweater something with some swing or cut that will allow for some weight changes but you don't want the drop a lot on those items. Gorgeous work out wear if you are exercising and good sneakers can make it easier to motivate, what would be most soothing and empowering?

Thistle

Veteran

A lot to think about!

After reading Angie's links, and all of your posts, sounds like I have a lot more thinking to do.

But gosh, that bright pink coat is so appealing to me right now, and I've never worn much other than neutrals and dark colors

So, definitely time to think!

Anonymous

I'm sorry for unloading. But, you did trigger a thought with this elastic waist business. As old-lady as that sounds, it really beats trying to fit a regular pant on what is often a problem spot. Right after I wrote, I went to get dressed and pulled on a pair of elastic waist leather pants I haven't worn in awhile. Drapey sweater over top, a matching draped scarf, and away I go. I was thinking about forum member Deborah , and how she dresses (not drawing any parallel to weight or body shape there, please understand) and how most of her clothes are draped, and only fitted where it counts. I feel much more polished and fashionable today than I have lately. Thanks to you !

Barbara Diane

Veteran

I always feel better when I’m wearing a good bra that fits, if that applies for your body.
A watch, bracelet or ring that makes you happy when you look down can work wonders. For several years I wore a modern bracelet with charms that made me feel centered and happy when I looked at it.
Good luck in this process.

Roxanna

Veteran

Thistle - also throwing my hat in the ring to say I am right there with you. Keep trying to lose the weight but I am 41 and suddenly it is NOT COMING OFF! And I dunt want to resort took drastic measures to get it off because I won't be able to stick with them.

I have resorted to thrifting pants or buying fabulous quality pants on deep discount to get me through.

@LisaP - EXACTLY. I'm beginning to think no pants feel good anymore unless they are elastic waist, and I've actually looked at MPG since you mentioned you get your pants from there. Also I have looked at Deborah fur inspiration too! She seems to have a perfect combination of drape and polish while still looking comfortable.

Thistle

Veteran

I've always loved Deborah's style. So architectural. Not sure how she does it!

But then, not sure it would work on me either as I am rather more shaped like the Pillsbury dough-boy these days!

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

Whether you "stick with it" as you say, or go out shopping for something fabulous, I think a wardrobe reset might start with a pampering day where you go to your salon, get your hair styled (new hairstyle, or current hairstyle blown out or curled or get something really luscious, like a deep- conditioning treatment). Get a facial, a manicure, a pedicure, a massage... any and all of the above! And if your wallet stretches to it, go get some new makeup at one of the counters at Nordstrom.

Be patient, and loving with yourself. Consider that you are taking charge of your health, and making positive changes in your lifestyle - and celebrate that for yourself. Use positive words for yourself, and to describe yourself. In fact, I'll start you off, with what I've always thought:

Thistle has Breck-Girl Hair. Beautiful, thick, and shiny.
.

lisaflex

Veteran

i am with you thistle!!! i totally get it.
im almost 50 and perimenopause has not been kind to me or to my body...some days its downright depressing. but, cant weat pj's 24/7...lol

dresses are my friends and from what i recall, they should be yours too!! spring is around the corner - pull out some dresses.

wishing you sunshine!

Sal

Veteran

I think you have had good advice earlier - I don't have any more. Weight and style and appearance is a fraught, complicated system for us all, and modern lifestyles are just plain old tough on working Mums, as are some of the climates we live in.

I mentioned in my thread a column of colour with an interesting topper is a combination that rarely fails for me. There are lots of gorgeous flat shoes around at the moment in interesting leathers and textures and styles.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

LBD, that is so true!! Breck -Girl Hair is Thistle's not-so-secret superpower!

You also look amazing in cranberry and some blues and other berry tones. A fantastic scarf or top in those colours will give you a lot of mileage as you consider where and how to move forward in style.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Thistle, here's another post that might help:

https://youlookfab.com/2018/02.....-good-fit/

Helena

Veteran

Thistle, you've got great suggestions here, and the only thought I can add is that there is something about late winter/early spring that makes me loathe my usually-adored neutrals and want something bright and fun to wear. Perhaps a similar feeling is making you feel a little more frustrated? In which case, a pink coat would fit the bill nicely! Or bright shoes or a scarf or purse ...

AviaMariah

Veteran

I agree with torontogirl. This time of year I usually hate my wardrobe. I find that a pullover sweater or cardigan in a bright color works wonders - still keeping me warm but bright for spring. Also, having transitional footwear is important to me. I'm so tired of boots/booties but it's still too cold for sandals. Loafers are a good transitional shoe for my spring weather.

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Thistle

Veteran

Oooh, those red shoes sing to me! I have no idea how to wear them or style them, but I've always loved red shoes.

Hmmm....