Shoot, I had this whole post drafted and it got sucked into the ether! Not going to rewrite the whole thing, but thanks for all the comments! I agree/relate/commiserate pretty much on all points.
I just have to add that my involvement in tango has had some impact on my on-and-off questioning of whether I'm presenting as "feminine" enough...it's a world where women are in 4- or 5-inch heels, lots of them, though many of us are sensible (in other words, I am incapable of even standing, much less dancing in these menacing, sexy shoes)...but it's a kind of ideal. I also can't grow my hair out--it just will not obey. So I love much of my androgynous style, but in some aspects of it, I am submitting rather than selecting.
And rachy, if I didn't at least occasionally bring a wacky anthropological conundrum to the table, I wouldn't be doing my job....
