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Hormones

Molly

Hi again all! Thank you again so much for all the responses, even if I may have accidentally caused a leggings war lol. My next question is a bit different but I thought I’d give it a shot. I saw a therapist today about my transitioning and I’m going to be starting hormones. Basically I’ve been reading a ton on estrogen and it’s effects so I thought I’d ask you ladies for your thoughts on it. From what I’ve read I’m basically going to be going through female puberty and I just don’t know what to expect. Obviously I won’t have a period but may get pms symptoms each month. I’ve also read that, along with all the myths guys make up about girls and being emotional etc, that estrogen may do a number on my emotions and idk...just wondering what input all of you might have. Also I need to do something with my actual hair, it’s obviously got some length but I want a feminine cut etc so any advice/input on that would be amazing too. Thank you all so much again!
Molly

Ps I think I posted this is the wrong place but can’t figure out how to delete it lol

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19 replies

Latest reply was from

April

Veteran

As far as I understand hormones, Molly, the ups and downs they cause are less a result of their presence and more a result of their cyclical fluctuations. If you're taking a managed dose, it seems like all should be well in terms of mood swings.

If it matters to you, though, definitely ask about weight gain -- the body stores estrogen in fat and that can create a weight or shape situation (such as a belly) even for people who never experienced such a thing before.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Don't know a thing about how they will affect you, but good luck!

Molly

Ok thank u! And yea weight gain and muscle loss/strength are two of the big things I sorta worry about. Just because it will be new, especially losing some strength. And as far as emotions I’ve just read that estrogen will make me more in touch with them. ie: cliche things like crying over a movie etc. But yea the therapist said I basically will be going thru female puberty and most of what that entails to which i said “like what?” And she said “you’ll see, welcome to womanhood” and kinda laughed lol but it was good natured obvi

Anonymous

Oh, yes, hormones will put you on an emotional roller coaster, so don't be surprised if you find yourself crying at a Hallmark or McD's TV commercial or laughing at inappropriate times. Just say, " It's not me. It's the hormones." Some have more problems than others. My DSIL gets mean-spirited if not taking hormones. You can lose your filter and not even know it.

Bonnie

Veteran

I know someone who is doing this and I would not recommend it. The dosage he takes to get the results he wants have made him extremely emotional. He used to be a fun, delightful person and now he is troubled cranky, and lonely. You look beautiful now and seem to be enjoying your feminine side. Why not just enjoy who you are now?

Molly

Thank you Joy and thank you Bonnie! My therapist and I are doing low doses to start to see how I react and stuff. And thank you for saying I am beautiful but the hormones are also a way for me to actually become, for lack of a better term, feminized. So for now the benefits out weigh the risk.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I think if you are under good supervision your doctors will calibrate the dose for you. For many people who transition, the changes are positive because they feel more congruent with the person they want to be. But there might be a rocky period while you work out the right dosing and get used to the new you. Your body shape will likely change. As April said, you will store fat differently and may find it harder to build muscle.

shiny

Veteran

Molly I think you are going awfully fast here. And I say that as someone who does marketing for a drag show.

Live the lifestyle for awhile before you make any permanent decisions.

rachylou

Veteran

Hey Moll. I was wondering about this. I have a few thoughts:

1) I self-administer two hormones every day. Not estrogen, but thyroid and insulin. Now we do what we have to do with what we can get - the alternative for me is going from generally ok to death in a few days - but it is CRYSTAL CLEAR to me the body is an automatic car that CANNOT be driven manually. You can push it with great struggle, you can (and probably will) start to ignore how much doing so takes it out of you, but the fact remains. You will be physically LESS and not from loss of muscle mass. You can’t tinker with one hormone and not mess with all the others, and every cell, and every system. Modern medicine is both a miracle (yes! I like being alive!) and, point blank, a Giant ClusterF&$k. It is NOT what it’s cracked up to be.

Take the pills and injections, they come in standard doses which may or may not be equal to what’s needed at any given minute of the day. And it’s absolutely a minute by minute thing. I’d be prepared to wake up curled in the fetal position on cold tile somewhere in a pool of vomit. And that is just from ‘PMS symptoms.’

2) Estrogen will NOT make you more in touch with your feelings. Not with the what. Not with the why. Maybe the only thing that will give a person a shot at that is 20 years in a monastery on a mountain. Women are no more in touch with their feelings than men, although they may feel freer to let them fly - but this is not universal. (Nor is it being in touch.) My German Chinese American family, personally, is a double stranglehold on feelings.

And I have to add that talking about feelings doesn’t get you in touch with them either. Yeah, I could say more about that.

3) So I knew you didn’t lose a bet, do a drag show, and come to terms with being trans. It’s been in the works awhile, esp to get to the point of discussing hormone therapy. (Either that, or the therapist shouldn’t have a license.) And of course, natch, this is all awkward and uncomfortable. But still, you didn’t say that. I guess I’d like you to be more comfortable, more settled, with owning it with the body you have before popping any pills or doing any injections. Because that is its own can of worms.

Ok. Thoughts?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Molly, I echo Shevia. I know nothing about how increased doses of hormones effect the body but wish you luck on your journey.

Thanks for the interesting, thoughtful and wise read, ladies.

JAileen

Veteran

Molly, I was confused because of the “lost bet”, and I appreciate Rachy’s insight into what’s really going on.

I’ve recently became aware of a transgender person in my world. I’ve known her since she was about three years old. I do accept her reality. But at the same time, it’s hard for me. It will take a little time to get used to it.

I hope you have people in your life who accept you for who you are.

Style Fan

Veteran

Molly, I wish you all the best in your journey.

Anonymous

There is an actress, Cassandra James, (I believe she is on a soap opera) who transitioned and I remember reading an in depth interview about the transition. She discusses everything and it was very enlightening about what is involved both physically and emotionally. I cannot seem to find the article, but you may have better success if you google her name.

Anonymous

Nothing helpful to add. I do want to wish you the best on your journey.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

As parent to a young person who identifies as non-binary and is considering hormones, I'll add that I would also suggest that you go slow, with due consideration, and find support in your community. As Rachy says, it's big stuff.

MsMaven

Veteran

Based on my menopause experience, I can tell you that getting the right dosage is crucial and it does take a while to find it. If you have mood swings and become emotional, you are on the wrong dose. You have to experiment and go slow.

Also, you won't be taking progesterone, which causes some symptoms as well. And you won't be doing cyclical treatment.

I didn't gain weight when I went on HRT. It took a while to find the right dosage, and exercise affects how much I need to take. I'm not a mesomorph, so not muscular, and I do work out to keep muscles strong.

I'm now on a very minimal dosage of estrogen so don't have to take progesterone any more. I'm in a much better place now, so I'm optimistic that you can find your perfect balance.

Good luck to you. I don't anyone in your situation well enough to discuss it with them. Are there perhaps forums or discussion boards on your situation where you can share?

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Wow, I see a lot of care and concern here. Also a lot of assumptions about what's going on in Molly's life and that the forum knows the right moves for someone most don't know personally. We've never met, but I'm going to assume that the physician who prescribed the hormones did a thorough psych exam to determine that this is the appropriate course of action. And along the lines of what RachyLou said, this may have been rattling around in Patrick's head for a while before the idea of a drag show brought it to the fore.

As far as a permanent change--hormones aren't it. Anyone who's ever taken birth control knows that the body can revert to its previous agenda after even one missed dose. And those of us who have ever been cranky or overly emotional on BC know that those effects supposedly subside after a while in some women, and disappear entirely in others once they go off that type.

Molly. I also wish you well, whatever you decide to do. You are indeed a very attractive woman as you are, but you clearly don't feel dressing the part is all you need. Listen to your gut, make sure the professionals you are working with know what they're doing, and live your life. I know your fashion sense and personal style impress a lot of people here, and you'll always get good comments on those posts. I hope you can also feel supported in other ways as well.

Sorry to go so long--conciseness is not one of my gifts.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

About the haircut--you've surprised me with your clothing choices, and clearly know what will fit you, as well as obviously knowing your own personality. Same thing with your hair. There are guides to different hairstyles for different face shapes (similar to guides for how to dress various body types or what glasses work for what face shapes). That's probably the place to start. And then think about whether you want to be able to put it up lots of different ways or if you want "wash and wear" hair, and what the popular styles around you are.

Looking forward to seeing what you choose! And if you don't like it, remember that it isn't permanent either.

Anonymous

I figured this wasnt a decision that you just made, but has been at least in mind for a while. I have a friend who is transgender (met her after the process) and basically she said she felt she was born in the wrong body. Shes been writing her story and its very powerful.