Holiday cheer, expat living and rambling

I knew Thanksgiving was coming but with a hectic daily life with two toddlers, work, etc etc etc it kind of slipped up on me again this year. That or I blocked it until now. Every year since becoming an expat the holidays feel different. Obviously where I live thanksgiving is not celebrated. It makes me a little sad but I go on despite those feelings. I've had excuses - some good and some not so good - for not pulling together a meal or gathering every year since arriving. I guess this year is no different. At least I don't have to work. I don't cook and it's way too late to try to find something and I doubt I could find a thanksgiving meal to take away anyhow. Wrangling two toddlers in a restaurant is a dicey proposition at best.

So to anyone that has stuck with my post this far, and especially for expats, how do you deal with feeling blah during the holidays? I'm under a lot of stress right now and I am doing my best to make it day by day. I don't want to slide into a darker place as the holidays draw nearer. Thanks for listening.

PS I am sitting at Starbucks listening to the lovely holiday music which does marginally cheer me up

PPS Sorry if this post came across as Debbie Downer!!

11 years ago

Kimberley

Veteran

Aw, abc, I know what you mean. Well, sort of.

I am far away from family and although in Canada we already celebrated Thanksgiving, it is hard to be away from everyone as the holidays officially start off this weekend. For several reasons, we don't travel or have family visiting over the holidays. And I had four babies in four years, so I get the part about wrangling toddlers, too!

When the kids were little, I tried to have a fun thing to look forward to each day or two to keep me positive (simple and free activities, as we were also desperately trying to make ends meet). Stuff like watching a holiday show together, baking a batch of cookies, doing a simple craft together, or just going out for a long walk (two in stroller, one walking, one in the baby backpack - oy).

Now that the kids are older, it's not much different. I try to think of things we can do together that keep us busy and where possible, I try to include other people who may be lonely or alone at the holidays. I find it helps, but it's still hard.

MsMary

It will be Thanksgiving whether or not you cook or get special food. Just call it Thanksgiving and maybe get some delicious takeout that's special, even if not traditionally Thanksgiving-y, and sit with your husband and your beautiful toddlers and talk about what you all are thankful for. Boom! Thanksgiving!!

Also, in my family we always put up our Christmas tree on Thanksgiving weekend. Is that an option for you?

abc

Kimberley, thanks for the ideas. I guess I have just gotten so overwhelmed by the day to day responsibilities of life and all that I have going on that I feel like adding one more thing to do, even if it is easy, makes me feel more pressure. The kids deserve to do fun things and I know it would help with their behaviour too (sometimes they are restless). Thanks for the idea. Going to check my pinboard now, I have some things pinned I can try to do.

Mary, thanks for weighing in. Yes, I will try to get some good takeout, that is easy to do around here, thank goodness. We can't do the tree as hopefully we will be moving in Dec (source of stress), and as soon as it's confirmed, then I can start planning for xmas in the new digs. I was thinking of getting a small tabletop tree we could decorate together. Low stress but still festive and with the kids involved. That thought makes me happy, so thanks for the reminder

Dee

When I was living outside the US, I always found it nice to spend the holidays with friends if no family was around. A few of us did an expat Thanksgiving potluck one year, so we all had somewhere to go and it wasn't too stressful for anyone to cook. It doesn't have to be on the actual holiday but it does make you feel more connected, even if it's a week later. Skyping with family back home on the actual holiday is also nice if you can do it. And maybe find a favorite holiday move or two that you can watch together to set the mood for the season?

I love the idea of a tabletop tree! Growing up, decorating the tree was the best part of the holiday, so that would give your kids something to do/look forward to. And then they can do the big one after the move.

kkards

Abc, I'm not an expat, but I'm sitting in the airport, waiting for a flight that's already an 1.5 hours late, texting my sister, whose flight is now 2 hours late. Wondering if I'll make it at all, as the weather in boston is snowy and windy. I'm thinking at this rate, I may end up with a fast food thanksgiving.

Anonymous

I was once an expat and know how nice it is to celebrate Thanksgiving with friends. It really helps fill the void of not being with family.

I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!

Well, never an expat but lived several provinces away from family for 10+ years. The first year I was truly worried that I would be depressed so I made a list of fun things to do as a family that we never did normally. This consisted of a matinee movie, holiday food we liked ( as opposed to the holiday menu that hadn't changed in 30 yrs), a board game, street hockey mid day, etc. We also invited some friends over a day or so after the holiday. I thought inviting them after alleviated the pressure from them being our 'Christmas entertainment' as they were rushing madly to squeeze in all their familial obligations. Making it a few days later meant we were ready for other grown up entertainment and they were familied out and ready to see friends. I actually preferred it to racing to the 2 families in different cities that we do now....pressure is intense to have everything perfect and living away we could please ourselves

Laurinda

Been there, and sending hugs your way! The locals just don't understand what you are missing...

What helped was to cobble together a bit of home with other expats and orphans, just finding a can of pumpkin or T-day paper napkins (my city had a quirky American Store) was a day brightener. I celebrated in Europe one year with a dear friend from India who was homesick for her own Diwali celebrations, so we traded recipes and helped each other decorate with what we could find on those November days. It is a sweet memory now, and Diwali remains one of my favorite adopted holidays ;-).

Scarlet

Happy Thanksgiving! I have to run off to an extra-long day at work and am feeling sad myself. Usually I plan a Thanksgiving dinner with friends on the weekend who always find it amusing to try out the American holiday, but this year due to constant colds (thank you daycare) and work stress and pregnancy-índuced exhaustion I just couldn't manage, even though last year I promised myself in the future to always make this a long weekend for myself using vacation days. I hope to make stuffed turkey breasts on the weekend and have a little Turkey dinner party in December or January to make it up to myself. Sorry I don't have more time to address everything you wrote in this moment. Maybe have a nice after-work cocktail tonight! Something with Cranberry juice

Thank you for all of the caring and supportive messages. Checking in since it is Thanksgiving Day. Yesterday I went to a local gourmet food store and bought ingredients to make a dish I recently discovered (which involves boiling pasta and mixing in some jarred ingredients, haha, my version of cooking). Anyway, we have made plans to have a Thanksgiving meal with just our little family and I am excited about it. Thank you again for all of the messages and cheer. XOXO

Hope you had a nice day

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