Holding Zone Reflections - YouLookFab Forum

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Holding Zone Reflections

Sisi

Veteran

Inspired by all the posts about holding zone, yesterday I pulled
out of the garage a box containing some old clothes. They are all beautiful, well made, in
excellent conditions. The only problem is that they do not fit anymore. At first
I thought that with some alterations I could still wear them. But soon after
thinking this, I “felt” that I will not wear them anymore.

I don’t know, there are clothes that I wear for 20 or more
years continuing to love them and to feel happy in them. Then there are clothes
that I love a lot, wear a lot but at a certain point I stop wearing and I do
not feel like wearing anymore.

I wonder which mysterious psychological process there is
behind this behaviour. Anyway I just wanted to share.

Does this happen to you?

General

22 replies

Latest reply was from Brooklyn

April

Veteran

Yes. Some items outlive their ability to create that happy feeling, and it is somewhat mysterious how that happens.

Good for you for not giving in to that "I'll just tailor these and start wearing them again" impulse. Sounds like you know yourself.

cindysmith

Veteran

There are garments I love passionately, and that I almost cannot bear to let go of when they finally wear out. Then there are garments that I love for a while but then I experience a style shift or a size change and I'm ok with letting them go. I need to go through my own HZ and get rid of the things that I know I won't wear no matter what size changes I experience.

I'm probably going to go through my HZ today, as I don't work and want to do some 'Cindy' things. I started by sleeping in, and I will end with a 12 step meeting; everything in between is going to be as unplanned and organic as possible. I might even go through my actual closet and clean it out while I'm cleaning out the holding zone.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Yes, I go through this too. I am a “keeper” by habit — a habit learned from my mom, who was a child of the Depression era and also had childhood trauma that caused her to hold onto things her entire life. She was a very organized and clean person, but by the time she died, her house was filled with collected belongings.

I fight that urge to keep everything, and have to constantly evaluate my reasons for keeping things. I find I often have to reach that same point you describe, where my mind somehow shifts on an item and I’m finally ready to let it go.

nemosmom

Veteran

Oh sure, I definitely experience these feelings. I have a couple of pieces I've had since before 2005 that I still wear and still get excited about wearing. I have some that were once loved but feel like I struggle to find the happy in them again. There are some I love that I just can't bear to part with, even though they don't work for me anymore. And then there are those that I *think* I love, that I just can't make work for reasons that elude me. Clothes have strange powers!

Sisi

Veteran

April, Cindy, Janet, Nemosmom - thank you for your comments. I am glad I am not alone to experience these "strange powers" of clothes!

The Cat

Veteran

Yes, it sometimes happens to me too. Suddenly, I don't want to wear a certain item anymore, though I have loved it before.

I always try to figure out WHY, though, because I like to be able to explain, at least to myself, exactly what feels wrong now, and if possible to learn from experience. Among the possible reasons are: deliberate style shift; less good fit for my present body; less good colour for my present colouring or taste); different needs or life style than previously; association to bad memories.

But sometimes I have just tired of wearing an item, for no particular reason. And I think that's OK if I have had it for years. Then I will donate it.

Anonymous

"Does this happen to you?"

Not the over-keeping, but it's deliberate and directly related to multiple uprootings and having to choose what I would carry. Now I feel like the more I have, the more I use my life maintaining, so if an item fades out of usefulness I pass it along.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

I absolutely experience this.
Beloved clothing sometimes ends up in my memory closet.

I also keep clothes that I like that I would wear that are smaller than my present size, but a size that I realistically would wear again. Some of these came out of the holding zone this week. Yay! And those occasionally do get culled also. I am almost entirely at home now so I am sometimes wearing clothes I like that aren’t the best on me, to decide whether to keep or release. Wearing them seems to help me figure it out. I wore such an item yesterday, in fact. I realized to my surprise that the sleeves hit my upper arm in such a way that sleeveless was better. Please note that this top would only leave the house for a walk anyway. Sleeveless the same, except sleeveless can be useful under another layer.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

YES. I can love items for a few seasons - wear the heck out of them - but fall out of love with them. I either need a break from the look, or am on another leg of my style journey. I often keep these items though, and sometimes fall back in love with them

Sal

Veteran

It happens to me as well Sisi. I have a few beloved pieces that are showing wear that I am babying along because I love them so much. I then have others that I adored on purchase or during the initial stage but that I have fallen out of love with.

Sometimes it is that fashion has moved along and an item feels dated. Sometimes my own preferences have changed or fit is now wrong.

My red silk blouse and the patterned dress are pieces that I really like and still love 10 and 4 years later!! The teal coat was an expensive purchase, and I am still wearing it, but I have fallen out of love with it. My tastes have changed since purchasing it.

April

Veteran

Ooh, so intrigued by Angie's "sometimes fall back in love with them".

Need an example, Mrs. Cox.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Oh, yes, clothes engender strong feelings, and sometimes I'll love something for a very long time, and other times, I'll feel done with an item after a single season.

A few older pieces I can't seem to let go:

Red alpaca coat bought in first year on YLF. Fabulous coat, just beautiful, but I don't reach for it due to length/ dressiness. Still -- it is so flattering I can't get rid of it.

J. Crew utility coat showing too much wear for my preference but it is just so darn useful!!!! And I can't replace!!

La Canadienne boots -- soooo pricey, but I really do not need a heeled winter boot in my current climate and barely wore them in the first place.

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Long downtown field jacket

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8

La Canadienne Mazy

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5

Anonymous

Yep! I have a bad habit of doing style 180s, and passing on the things that don't fit into that. So I pass on my wide legs if I just want skinnies, my maxis if I want pencil skirts, etc. But then I get tired of a bunch of things at once. I'm not allowing that this year and leaving space for multiple silouettes.

Anonymous

Fascinating question. The immediate answer is yes. But can I define what that elusive quality is that makes us not quite want to wear something again?

This is most obvious to me with bags. I have some older bags that I adored and used every single day. Those older bags were stored away when I bought newer bags. I always assumed that, of course, I would reach for the older bags again. But I never do.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with them. I still love them. Mint condition.

Yet ....

It is almost as though they are "stale."

I can't explain it either.

Runcarla

Veteran

Team ‘wear’, so I can really get into new items, to the detriment of older ones - kind of what Sterling describes, above, with bags.

Though I don’t have a holding zone, I do still have some garments that get worn less, and are candidates for an edit when I do my annual wardrobe review. The neglected items are usually similar to something I already have - but there is a preference for one item over another.

Like Angie, I have fallen back in love with an older garment and it suddenly gets worn a lot! I have 2 pair of white jeans that I got in early 2018. I thought I wore them equally, but I learned during my ‘wear counting’ experiment that I wore the CK pair 22 times in the first 4 months of the year, and the RL pair 0! In May I cut the RL pair into shorts, and have worn them 11 times so far!

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Anything that I have worn a lot, is still in good condition, but I am just not "feeling" usually gets a pass to hang around until my mood changes.

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

It’s all so strange. Sometimes I develop a really strong memory link between what I am wearing at the time of a particular event. Maybe not even a major event, but for whatever reason, every time I reach for that top or those shoes I think “this is what I wore to meet Annie for sushi that one time.” Emotional weight of the event doesn’t matter, it can happen with good, bad, or neutral events sometimes.....And then that item just feels like a part of the past and I’m not interested in wearing it in the future. I have no understanding of why this only happens occasionally, what “spurs” it.

rachylou

Veteran

I stage my own personal fads. Lol, definitely happens to me

Sisi

Veteran

Interesting, it seems that some of us can rationalize why a garment goes out of favour whereas for some others it remains a mystery ...

Angie, how nice that you sometimes fall back in love with old items. It never happens to me.

Sal and Suz, I would also be very fond of that floral dress and that utility coat!

Sterling, you articulated it very well.

Thank you to all for reading and commenting!

Joy

Veteran

Yes! I suspect that the formerly loved items used to fit better. But I may have just moved on. I used to love to wear a silk top with jeans and blazers with jeans, but not so much now.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I still like most things for a very long time. I did eventually get rid of most items that no longer fit except for a few precious items from my 20s. One is a cream silk dress I wore to a university qualification event and ball. I was 23. One is black and red stripes/spots, bought when I was 23 also, for my cousin’s 21st. I wore it to several events as well. I have my wedding dress. It would go nowhere near me.
I fall temporarily out of love sometimes but if I really loved it before I keep it if it still fits. It’s often a styling thing as to what the prevailing fashion is. Today I am happily wearing a much loved cardigan from the year 2000- quite cropped, which is back “in” currently.
I still have 18 clothing items which fit that range from 1986-2010. Some are worn more than others and a couple are on probation as it were.

Brooklyn

Veteran

I’m a bit different. I find when I really like something and wear it a lot I generally keep on liking it. Unless it’s something faddish that feels dated. I just tend to like newer items better. Makes it a challenge to edit. My changes of preference usually surface quite quickly - shortly after I cut the tags