Hey, get your hands away from there.... - YouLookFab Forum

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Hey, get your hands away from there....

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Has this ever happened to you, has someone ever invaded you personnel space to touch something on you and then given you a compliment.

Example: I love having fun with my hair and people come up to me all the time to give me their opinion of my "look" People tend to automatically reach for my hair. I tend to duck slightly out of the way. Give my MC Hammer statement and dance "you cant touch this" other times people tend to touch jewelry or other things they find fascinating to themselves. Do you ever experience this

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21 replies

Latest reply was from Mia

rachylou

Veteran

Oh yeah. People do that. It's weird. Gosh, did Seinfeld ever do an episode about this? Should have, if they didn't.

Kristin SF

Veteran

Same thing happens when you are preggo! The belly is mesmerizing to some people, I guess, but it's a definite violation of someone's personal space, IMHO!!

Ledonna N.

Veteran

I never watched a Seinfeld episode. I have co-workers that refer the me as Newman they find it very funny Hello Newman. I just don't get it.

ironkurtin

Veteran

Yes. People have no boundaries. Most of the time it's friendly but if you're not a touchy-feely person it can be annoying or even threatening. If I want to touch something on someone else, I always ask!

columbine(erin)

Veteran

Yes. My Italian landlady lifted up my shirt one time to pat my pregnant belly. She was sweet but didn't know how close she came to getting punched, just reflexively. Your hair looks awesome!

Ledonna N.

Veteran

I am not a touchy feely and the people at my church are I find it challenging. I always ask permission to touch someons pregnant belly only close family. There won't be any childern for me so its OK.,

viva

Veteran

I am not at all touchy-feely with people I don't know, and I can even be pretty restrained with people I do know. But there is a part of me that is tactile with non-human things (almost anything in nature, interesting fabrics, art that has texture, etc.) And ladywone, I have to tell you that you have some a-ma-zing hair going on. It's sculptural -- and if it weren't attached to your head .... if it were, in fact, a piece of sculpture on a table, I would totally touch it. It looks like it should be felt. I think I understand why people without boundaries are reaching up to say hello.

JAileen

Veteran

When I was pregnant people did that all the time. Very annoying!

deb

Veteran

I had a female supervisor ask to feel my hair and was so dumbfounded, I said yes, even though I did not want her to. It was more unnerving than the pregnancy belly touch because it was unexpected.

Kristin L

Veteran

I've experienced it with my tattoos. It's a bit unnerving when someone grabs your arm because they want to see a tattoo. People would also move my hair (when it was longer) so they could see it.

Thistle

Veteran

My first real experience with this was with a coworker who is not from America. She is very touchy, and it takes all my willpower not to cringe when she touches my shoulder.

Pregnancy was the worst. Inappropriate questions, people wanting to touch your belly . . . The whole thing was very disconcerting.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

When I was in the Army my first duty station was in Korea. I wore my hair in braids and I was 18yrs old. People would come up to to me all the time and touch my hair and skin. I was vey ignorant so I did not realize that many people had never seen a person of color. It was still very different.

DonnaF

Veteran

@ladywone, my church is pretty touchy feely so I've gotten used to it enough to tolerate it. But heck, Asian parents don't touch (I'm Japanese American), so I have pretty strong personal boundaries. I find touching hair pretty outa pocket, but that would happen to me occasionally when I sported spikey hair before it became so common. My hair is super coarse, so touching it can hurt the toucher!

adorkable

Veteran

When my head was shaved, people used to touch it all the time without asking. I hit a point where I stopped being nice about it. Snarling "What makes you think it's appropriate to touch me without asking?" does tend to be very effective!

Adelfa

Veteran

On Saturday at the meetup Rae wore the famous Rag&Bone sweatpant jeans and we were all reaching for her hips while asking quickly, "May I touch?" She would graciously say "Yes" and then we would try to touch something appropriate like the edge of her pocket!

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Thanks for all of your responses. I don't really get angry anymore people just forget or are just curious. I really like the responses I get from kids. They have very direct questions and they always ask if they can touch very loudly I love it. People think my hair is stiff but it is very very soft and flexible.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Well, your hair IS fantastic, but I'm with you. I have personal boundary issues myself, so I do not love to be touched by a stranger either.

I can't get over how people think they can prod a pregnant woman's belly. Good thing I've never been pregnant -- I would not have reacted well to that!

Diana

Veteran

You have great hair! But I'm with you - I find unasked- for touching very disconcerting.

My friend, when she was pregnant, had a great response to random people touching her belly. She would reach over and touch their belly right back!

chadya

Veteran

I think someone tried to touch me when I was pregnant, they didn't get very far, so disgusting and invasive.

rachylou

Veteran

Diana - that's an awesome response. I love it.

I am reminded again of being in Shanghai. I'm Chinese, well sorta, but I guess not. There was this one moment where I was afraid this peasant woman was gonna hurt me. She kept poking and prodding me like I was a zoo animal. Took my Diet Coke and laughed when I tried to grab it back - like that's not something any person would do.

Mia

Veteran

I was at a business dinner with my husband and was wearing a new cropped jacket with fab texture over my LBD. I had received a few compliments on it over the evening and then a man I didn't know well actually reached out and touched it right around my chest area and said something like cool jacket. I was astounded but I think he just forgot himself for a moment.