Here's one for the book - YouLookFab Forum

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Here's one for the book

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

You know how there's been a spate of really insensitive comments plaguing our lovely forum members of late? Well, today I can make a contribution to the growing list of appalling quotes.

I've been on a regular workout regime since the beginning of the year and now exercise four times a week, using different machines or facilities each time. Today I decided to do my weekly swim workout, and as I was emerging from the pool I ran into one of the cleaning ladies who works in my building. Obviously I'm still in my bathing suit with everything on full display. The following conversation took place:

Cleaning lady: Hi Michelle
Me: Hi Judy
Judy: It's hard to lose weight, isn't it?

I put that one right up there with "are you pregnant?" YIKES! I'm doing my best to be disdainfully amused about the whole thing.

General

22 replies

Latest reply was from Aunty

Nadya

Veteran

Oh, Michelle! Definitely go with the amusement value on this one! Some people have no clue. When I used to do water aerobics in my on-sale very practical pink swimsuit a woman came up to me and said "It's so nice to see larger ladies wearing bright colors.". Um, thanks?

Queen Mum

Veteran

Michelle's reply: "ah yes, I see you have the same struggle :-)"

Goodness gracious! Is english her first language, (I"m searching to give her the benefit of the doubt) or could she possibly have been trying to compliment you on your hard work but didn't have the benefit of the full wording choice?

RandomThoughts (Andrea)

Veteran

All I can say is, "Ugh." What dummy. I'm sorry you had to put up with her.

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

I'm sorry you had to deal with her. I've had my own share of inappropriate comments, many of them from family members who didn't realize that their comments were hurtful. That's part of the reason I joined YLF.

Debora

Veteran

I'm sorry that this happened to you, Michelle. I think that there are two types of people who make these types of remarks: those who are clueless as to what comes out of their mouths, and those who are trying to be intentionally hurtful. She sounds like the clueless type to me.

I have a friend who sometimes flabbergasts me with what comes out of her mouth. Several years ago, I telling her about my daughter's 4th floor walk-up apartment.

Her comment: Wow, you must be so afraid of fire!
Me: Ummm, gee thanks. I wasn't but I sure am now.

Actually, my above response came to me hours later. I was rendered speechless at the time. The cluelessness of some people!

Jonesy

Veteran

Outrageous! I'm sorry, Michelle. I think disdainful amusement is a pretty good coping strategy, actually :).

Debbie

Veteran

Michelle I'm really sorry that happened. Disdainful amusement is probably the best way to look it.
Some people need to learn to filter what comes out of their mouths.

catgirl

Veteran

I would shrug that right off, Michelle - I know it's hard but people have no sense about what comes out of their mouths.

biscuitsmom

Veteran

Maybe she knew you've been working out like mad lately? I think you look (and are) fabulous! Definitely one of the most stylish ladies I know

MsMary

Veteran

"Yes, it's almost as hard as learning how to interact in polite society!"

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Did you throw a wet towel at her? ... at least in your mind? :p I'm aggressive.

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

I'm sorry you were hurt by her comment. Sometimes people say things and realize the words weren't what they meant but it is too late to pull it back and if they try to explain they just dig themselves deeper so they let it go and hope it didn't cause too much grief.

Let it go. If she meant it, she is insensitive and her comments have no value. If she didn't mean it, it was a mistake on her part then and she is likely as upset as you are right now.

Steph

Veteran

Michelle, I like that you are taking this one with disdainful amusement. My guess is that she has noticed that you have lost weight AND has seen you are working out, and said that as more of a "you have lost weight and look great; working out is so difficult, isn't it?" I bet that she meant well, even if it didn't come across that way! (This is coming from someone who says dumb stuff far too often.)

lynn

Veteran

Hey, I'm so impressed with your workout schedule that I wouldn't care what she said! Keep up the good work!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

:(((((

You are a sport. Good for you, Michelle - you MUST remain amused by the remark.

I'm so impressed with your swimming regime!

Kristine

Veteran

Yikes, but maybe she meant it about herself, as if you'd understand what she's going through? Not phrased very well though!

Melissa

Michelle, you are always such a lady, and your response shows that.

This comment strikes me as the sort of thing people say when they want to chat but haven't really got anything to say.

I'll take a good old "Hello," or "How are you?" over awkward chit-chat any day.

Maya

Veteran

Wow...not even a "how are you" huh?

On another note, you are awesome for taking up this new regimen.

Sometimes I do have a degree of sympathy for the person making the dumb comment though. As Steph said, it was probably something that was meant to be good (or at the very least harmless) and just came out all wrong. Amusement is probably the right reaction to have.

Kari

Veteran

Holy moley, how insensitive. (At a gym, too?)

Good for you for swimming regularly, Michelle. I'd like to get back into swimming. Lately I am having a hard time getting motivated to go to the gym at all, because I'm so tired from long weeks at work for the past month... and I'm more tired because I don't have the energy-boosting endorphins... it's a self-perpetuating cycle.

Until I got slammed with work in early March, I was doing pretty well keeping up with a 3-4 day a week routine at the gym, and I'm sad that I didn't manage to keep up during busier times. I'm glad that you have been able to stay motivated & building up your routine. I find that it's easier and easier to keep up with it the more you build it in as a daily/weekly habit - it's just that when we break our routines it's hard to get started again!.

sarah

Veteran

Michelle, a great big high five to you for working out 4x/week! Just focus on that and on how proud you should be of yourself for sticking with a regular exercise regime. Take a deep breath, exhale, and just let go of that insensitive remark.

Niki Lea

Veteran

OMG! I would've pushed her in the pool and dunked her for good measure. Lyn & I have your back, Michelle.

Aunty

Veteran

Good grief is there no end to it!!

You take no notice of her!! Some people have a talent for being awful, and she sure has a talent.