Help with visitation outfit - ETA sorted thank you!

Hi friends, sorry, I seem to be a forum hog with lots of questions lately. Last minute going to a visitation today and I have little that's appropriate in summer-weight clothing (thank goodness it's mild today so I won't melt).

Wondering if this shirt seems sombre enough, worn with black pants, shoes and purse ... it's very business-looking but still a true colour iykwim. High anglican visitation (not the funeral) for cultural context (he was a bishop so a big deal event for the family).

I also have my Uniqlo black blouse but that might be excessively black?

I'm going to need to triple Spanx myself into these bloody pants

ETA - one more option. Navy skinny cropped pants and navy blouse. More comfortable. Pants are dated-to-my-eye though. Think I'm going to wear this. I need to be able to breathe haha.

Thanks for your opinions!

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1 year ago

L'Abeille

Veteran

I'd go with the black blouse. You won't feel in any way conspicuous, which suits both the context, and what I think I know of you.
Good luck with the pants!

Helena

Thank you L'Abeille! Great thinking -appreciate it!

Irina

I would wear that black blouse, Helena.

I see the navy option, seems better. Also try a black blouse with navy pants as an option.

Thanks Irina - I just added another option, which is an old one, I actually wore to my Mom's funeral. More comfortable. I could actually do the black blouse with the navy pants.

Appreciate the help and sorry for the drama - I'm having body issues over here with things not fitting the way they did a few months ago *facepalm*

Helena, happens to all of us
I often wear navy and black and to me, it looks “traditional European” IYKWIM. If you go with a black blouse, try a black scarf with it for texture, if you have one.

Thank you Irina; I'll dig in the closet! I do love navy and black together, when I can make it look intentional. Thank you! x

Runcarla

Another fan of black and navy together. I wore a navy top with a black skirt and black shoes to the last funeral I attended. It was a stinking hot September day and no AC in the church. I would guess folks were 2/3 black and 1/3 navy.

Olive Green

Navy and black are great together. The nuns used to wear this combo, so it is, ah, liturgical.

Laurie

I wore navy dresses to both of my father's events in July. There were quite a few people in black head to toe. I wondered if I, as immediate family, should have gone fully traditional. It didn't even occur to me.

Roberta

The last funeral I attended was both hot and rainy, and I was very glad to have black linen pants and a dark raincoat. Navy or charcoal grey would have been perfectly acceptable to me as well. Pants actually felt more respectful than any of my summer dresses.

Jenni NZ

I’ve never heard of a “visitation”. What is it?
We only have funerals here?

Jenni, it's usually the day before the funeral, with the casket (sometimes open but usually closed) there for people to pay their respects to. Sort of like the Everyman's version of "lying in State".

rachylou

What did you decide, Helena?

Another term for visitation is ‘wake’.

Thanks Helena! Definitely have never been to such a thing.

Suz

(website)

Glad you are sorted, Helena.

You've had several of these unexpected occasions lately -- one happy, and this one sad -- but it does make me think -- yikes, what would I do n a similar pinch?

Answer: I think I'd feel pinched, like you!

Hope it goes well.

Anonymous

All those look fine to me- but wear the pants that are comfortable, don't triple Spanx! The last funeral I went to, I wore black and olive. I just went for the service, not the viewing. Only went to one of those, and regretted it :/

I don't understand why viewings are a thing. Yep- he's dead. Just making sure. So much cost and invasiveness.

Jaime

I also had to google visitation. Interesting. These small visits are done the seven days after the funeral in Jewish tradition (without the body present obviously). Anyhow, just a bit of comparative culture. Glad you figured it out.

Finding this sidebar so interesting ... I actually like the wake (thank you rachy!) better than the funeral ... Funerals are more formal but wakes (or get togethers after the funeral) are where the stories and memories are shared! But that's perhaps cultural and also depends on how everything is done.

I wore the navy and it was fine; blended in and it was a fairly casual affair so I needn't have worried. To Suz' point, I sadly think a ready-to-go funeral outfit is something I should sort out ...

You’re quite a bit younger than some of us Helena- we’ve only had one person our own age die, my husband’s childhood friend- he had had cancer for 14 years though, then got another type of blood cancer, then finally Covid. But my cousin only 4 years older than me died of motor neurone disease, and otherwise it was all the aunts and uncles in their 80s and 90s over a 4 year period. So a funeral outfit or more than one that can be suitable, has come in very handy

Bee

Active Member

I’m a sucker for slim/skinny fit pants and tiny floral prints, although the lighter blue shirt would look lovely as well. What really caught my eye however was that gorgeous lace corset top in my absolute favourite shade of green. Totally out of the question for this particular occasion, I know. But I’m in love!

My mother’s having to wear a winter dress to an August funeral years ago impressed on me the wisdom of having a suitable dark outfit or dress for any possible weather. Southern Ontario in August is not the time for navy wool. I don’t always manage to have it covered, but i do keep it in mind.

Barbara Diane

I’m glad you found an appropriate and comfortable outfit.

I always keep something to wear to a funeral as life can be unpredictable. But size changes, ugh.

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