Help my mom! (resolved) - YouLookFab Forum

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Help my mom! (resolved)

Maya

Veteran

Edit: I think I know what to do. Replies are still welcome though.

Body Type

15 replies

Latest reply was from Maya

Ruchi

Hi Maya,
You are a wonderful daughter to care so much about your parents.I would love to take my dad shopping too.But everything that I buy,ends up in my hubby's wardrobe 'coz my dad will get it home and say its its too bright for him and will look better on my hubby.Coming back to your post..I am a newbie so cant give much advice.Your mom is a pretty woman.I feel that maybe she could opt for a straight leg trouser rather than a wide-leg.Maybe a light-weight structured jacket would be good.Skirts and dresses will also look very good on her.I am an apple too and feel that skirts and dresses make me look slimmer and taller.Angie's post on skirts and dresses is spot on.

Ruchi

Anonymous

Maya, your mother looks young and cute. I realy like the style of top she has on in the picture. I used to be an apple, although a small busted one, and wear boxy tops, so can identify.
Has she tried shapewear for a smoother line? I still have some muffintop and like the shapewear bottoms that come over your waist. Tanks or camis with lycra to smooth over the mid section also help, but it can take some trying to find the right one.
If she doesn't have one, I'd suggest a cropped denim jacket to 'lock and load'.
Can you get her to layer tops? A longer top peeking out from under a shorter one can be camoflague around the middle. I think a wrap style top is a great idea. Also, the gauzy tunics so popular now might work for her bust and mid section if you can find one that's not too long and not too full for her height.
For the classic look she likes a fitted shirt like the one in the photo that skims her body but gives some shape at the waist or a short fitted blazer are ideas. I suspect she likes a darker color on top to visually minimize.
You are sweet to care about her and want to help. I hope you can find the perfect piece.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I am the same size as your mom on top! If she wants to wear knit tops, have her look for empire waists that float away from the belly, wrap tops, and wide open necklines including cowl necks. I agree that a more structured, woven top pulls it all in and makes it nice and smooth, but they are hard to find that fit for me. She can always buy a tailored shirt that fits her chest, and have the waist nipped in by a taylor. I just find that traditional button down shirts are not flattering on me. A structured jacket on top helps, but is not practical for warm weather. I hope that helps a little.

shiny

Veteran

Maya, your mom is lovely! I had a completely different mental picture painted in my mind, until I clicked on the link. You are too hard on her. The top fits her perfectly and is a very good style for her. I am not seeing a tummy. And I don't mind the pants as much as you do. I think the color is fun and works with her coloring (my first thought was "high contrast"), and the cut is not a bad approach for her - balances her out, I think, and makes her look hourglassy. Maybe they could be a tad slimmer, but the wide-leg is not such a bad silouhette. The outfit could be taken up a style notch with the simple addition of the right accessories. Black ballet flats would make a big difference.

I love Joy's denim jacket idea. How about a sleeveless knit wrap dress? Easy one piece dressing?

Are you sure she's a 36DD? When was she last fitted? Maybe that is a possible Mother's day present?

merry77

I agree that your mom is lovely. The top she's wearing looks great on her, but I understand it might be difficult to find buttondowns that fit properly.

Does she have the same aversion to belts that you do? Wearing a belt over a knitted top would allow waist definition and extra room on the top.

Other ideas would be to dress up her simple tops with a pretty scarf, a nice necklace, some great shoes.

Anonymous

OMG your mother is so beautiful. I had a terrible picture in my mind while reading what you say her self image is. She looks very hourglass in this black blouse.
I think the pants look cute with the black blouse.
When I look at this picture I see a very beautiful woman and a man who looks like he is very proud of his wife. They look like a lovely couple.

Maya

Veteran

I don't believe I was too hard on her. I'm hard on her style because it isn't doing her justice. I'm not hard on her body though--she is. She literally came out of the fitting room saying "I hate myself." Who can stand to hear their mommy say that? Not me! I too think my mom is very pretty and adorable and I really hate it when she says things like that (not to mention the influence it has had on me, but I won't get into that now since this is about her).

I'm surprised anyone would support those pants. They are too short for her, too wide, and they wrinkle like crazy. She has such nice legs that they are doing her a disservice. Even the color is something I could get past if they fit well. I'm determined to get her in some walk shorts this summer, but for now I really want to concentrate on tops since that is her main point of frustration.

As for body type, she is indeed an apple and she does have a tummy. This is just fact, it's not an insult. Lots of people here have tummies and apple tendencies but when they bring it up I feel like the responses are often a little insincere (not here but in general). Anyway, her waist is less than 5" smaller than her hips, she is short-waisted, and post-menopausal, so obviously her waistline is going to be on the thicker side. I always feel like I have to make this ultra clear because of this tendency towards denial when it comes to the apple shape, which to be perfectly blunt just makes us apple shapes feel a lot worse, like our bodies are just so bad that we have to deny what they really are. Well, the truth is that I am an apple, and my mom is an apple as well, and rather than denying it, we just want to know how to dress our shape, not pretend our shape is something else. That's all. Forgive my rant but I had to let that one out. I have it much easier since I carry my tummy weight on the lower part, just above my hips, so I still have a waist, but my mom carries her weight higher, and also has a big bust, so she has slightly different challenges than I do.

Bras: Yes she is a 36DD and just got some new bras so that's out. I think she would be disappointed with a bra gift anyway. Neither of us are really bra people. We would rather get things that people can see!

-Jackets: That's a default option, but I don't think it's going to be terribly practical in the summer months. I want to get her something she can start wearing immediately.

-Dresses: I only recently managed to get her into skirts, and even then she will only wear them for "special" occasions. I don't think we're quite there yet, unfortunately, because it would make my life much easier.

-Shapewear: I don't want to go out and buy things that only fit with shapewear on principle. Besides being uncomfortable for everyday use, I just think shapewear is sort of a cop-out. You're supposed to wear clothes that fit the shape you have, and shapewear exists to change the shape you have. By putting her in shapewear, I would basically be confirming that her body is impossible to dress the way it is, which 1) isn't true and 2) is going directly against my goal.

-Empire waists: My mom has the same problem that I do with these. They are just not for busty girls. I can still get away with some since my chest is smaller, but they just don't work on her. The waistband always hits awkwardly across her chest.

-Belts: Not for her. She would never go for this look, and I don't blame her.

My mom loves blouses which is why I asked about the black one. I actually like that one a lot more than what she usually wears (which all tend to tent out and look too big). I just wanted to know if I should use that one to give me a good jumping point.

I really wanted to get her a Sweet Pea top, but I'm annoyed to see there are no XL's. Going up to a 1X would probably traumatize her.

Antje

Veteran

Maya, you are TOTALLY too hard on her. Your mom looks smashing. Sure, the pants could be slimmer and longer, but they aren't real bad and I actually love the color, it looks so cheerful and summery. And the blouse is great, and it has the cute ruffle, so I think you're just being way too harsh saying that she doesn't have any style. She obviously chooses clothes that she likes and she isn't particularly unstylish (I'd say that upward of 95% of women don't have perfect pants length and width down, so while I'm not saying she can't benefit from better cuts she isn't an extreme by any stretch of the imagination), she is pretty, wears good make-up, and looks perfectly appropriate and happy.

All that said, I think a wrap-top might be nice, or some other top that has special styling to hide some bulging around the belly. I often find good styles in Macy's INC department, like v-neck tops with ruching down both sides, and I believe even Nicole or some other woman with a bigger chest had recommended that line, though I'm not 100% sure. You could also call Nordstrom and ask them for tips on brands to try for busty women with a bit of belly. I'm sure you'll get some good recommendations, and you might not even have to go into the store but can shop online. Finally, I remember Nicole blogging about the blouses for busy women a while ago; I think they were custom made so they might be out of your price range, but couldn't hurt to try.

Anonymous

http://www.bratiquehelene.com/catalog/about.php

Carissa's company, Bratique Helene makes beautiful clothing for the full busted woman. I have seen her work and it is fabulous. In fact Nicole had done a trial and critque of a blouse for Angie's blog a few months ago.

Maya, please remind your Mom that all of us have fit problems with clothing manufactered for the masses, and to please not hate her self. (That is so sad) I do imagine she is fed up with shopping in a sea of clothing made for some imaginary universal body but she is not frumpy by any means.

Ariadne

Veteran

I was also going to suggest Bratique Helene. The shirts are not cheap, but wouldn't it be great if you were able to get her something that fit perfectly? From what you've described about your mom here and elsewhere I get the sense she's pragmatic when it comes to fashion; maybe she'd happily order all her tops through Bratique Helene if the one you got her fits.

Sweet Pea tops DO come in size XL. I just bought one on eBay and there are others on eBay as well.

Maya

Veteran

I was thinking of that San. I love that crisp white blouse but I wish it came in a short sleeve or sleeveless version. That would be absolutely perfect. I wonder how bad of an idea it would be to have the sleeves shortened without having her try it on first, so it would be ready to wear without having to drag her to the tailor. It has the perfect shape for her though. The satin shell is nice too but I don't think my mom would wear it regularly. It would be one of those "special occasions only" things because it's shiny.

Oh dear, I'm beginning to not like where this conversation is headed :(. You guys are making me feel very bad...

I already mentioned that I liked the black blouse and I don't believe I said a word criticizing it. I just wanted to know if other people felt the same way.

I don't like the pants. If wrinkled, too-wide, too-short pants are not that bad, then what is? What would she have to be wearing? A sweatsuit? Because she does wear those too, but only in the winter, and I don't have a picture of it. How about flipflops? Because platform flipflops are her go-to shoes in the summer. What about ankle length wide leg capris? She wears those too. Am I still being too hard on her?

My mom does have nice clothes in her wardrobe, but very few, and she only reserves them for special occasions. I want her to look and feel good all the time. That's all.

Maya

Veteran

Brianna, thanks for informing me. I was looking on Bluefly and SmartBargains they only seem to come up to a large. That might be my answer then.

Lena

Maya, I don't have any good advice, just wanted to say you're a wonderful daughter. Your mom is very pretty.

Antje

Veteran

Sorry, Maya, I didn't mean to now make you feel bad. I still think you're too hard on your mom. Hey, I wear flip flops, and I know that many women wear ankle length wide leg capris without a thought and without being altogether unstylish. I think you can't take style apart like this. YLF sets a high bar, and we can all aspire to meet it more and more over time, but that doesn't mean that not achieving it equals being unstylish. I think we were all quite pleasantly suprised to see your beautiful mom in the picture!

But again, don't feel beaten up by us now. And good for you for wanting to buy something stylish and pretty for your mom and thus helping her increase her style quotient. It's all good.

Maya

Veteran

I think it is best that I keep this off the forum and work on it myself. I am not really getting the feedback I was hoping for, but thanks for the advice everyone.