Please help me rewrite this letter on pandemic school clothes.

This is a letter just sent out by the head of my son’s school, along with the response that first sprang to my mind. Please help me put this in more politic phrasing. My son has been wearing a long-sleeved undershirt, the required polo shirt and sweater/jumper, and he takes along a hoodie for when it is cold. As the first letter notes, windows are wide open throughout the day. It is cold, and will only get colder over the next few months. Here are the letters:

Dear Parents and Guardians of Grade 11 & 12,

I am writing in connection with the matter of school uniform and the IB cohort.

One privilege extended to the IB students is that they are permitted to wear a non school uniform jumper as long as it is black or navy blue.

As for trousers, these can be black or dark grey.

Both of the above allow IB students to wear clothes that correspond with the school uniform but permit a certain degree of leeway. The emphasis should be on "smart and casual."

In addition, at present, as a result of the rooms needing to be ventilated, students of all grades are allowed to wear their coats inside classrooms. We do feel, then, that we are not being unreasonable in our expectations.

What we cannot allow to be worn are hoodies and denim. Unfortunately, however, a significant number of students are wearing at least one, or both, of the aforementioned.

We would be grateful if you could have a word with your children on this topic and also to help us ensure that they are complying with the school uniform policy at IB level.

In the case of students who are flouting the policy, we will be left with no choice but to send them home.

*************************

Dear Mr Principal,

I’m sorry, but I don’t see the logic in this at all. Outdoor coats are designed to be worn outdoors. They are generally much more stiff, due to thickness and being designed to shed moisture. Sweatshirts, including hoodies, are the opposite, designed not to give any resistence to the wearer’s movement. Corona regulations introduce many distractions, including masks. Adding a ban on sensible attire, designed for warmth and freedom of movement, simply makes the situation worse, with no meaningful gain.

Please reconsider the notion of sending students home, and amending your policy that takes into consideration the current situation while being focused on having students DO their best, as opposed to one that is focused on having them LOOK a certain way.

I hope to hear from you soon about a rethink of the ban on the type of clothing that people around the world are using in record numbers to deal with this situation.

Best wishes,

5 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

I think that’s quite good actually.

Joyce B

Hoodies help keep the head warm, particularly in a windy room. I agree that it does not make sense to ban them.
Maybe I would change the first sentence to a more neutral wording
so that the person does not get defensive from the start but the letter looks good to me.

Stagiaire Fash

Thank you both! I was mad as could be when I wrote it, wanted to be careful how it came across.

SW Ann

I think your letter is good, as is....although I would not put it in the letter, I wonder which is more important in this (hopefully) unusual time--learning or having the "correct" uniform. Seriously. Sometimes people in authority should think a little before they send stuff like this.

Sal

I agree that the letter is good. I would also start with a request to reconsider their policy.

Sal, good point to start right off with what I'm asking for.

SW Ann, exactly! This guy was appointed over the summer. We are very disappointed. He seems much more interested in the appearance of a fancy international school than in actual education. I've tried to have conversations with him around a couple of other topics, and there just is nothing there when it comes to seriously thinking and caring about education. It is my son's last year of school, and bless him, he is working so very hard! He's a bright kid, and a good 'un too.

Kate

I think it’s quite good, fashIntern.

Gigi

I think you did an excellent job explaining the situation. I think that just changing the opening a bit, as others have suggested, so that the principal doesn't feel defensive from the get-go, would be good.

This guy sounds like he doesn't live in reality...

Maybe suggest that the school should manufacture hoodies and denim jackets with their logo, and make parents pay for them, and then we'll see whether they get to wear them...ha ha.

Thanks Kate!
Gigi, you made a joke about hoodies with the school logo & I called it “therapy” because it feels so good to laugh about this dude.

Anonymous

I like the way you have written this, iIt gets to the situation in a nice way. I get it . My sons had to wear school uniforms and there was a big discussion of what khaki means.

Jane

I do like your reply; couple of suggestions - maybe opening with 'I am sorry' doesn't quite fit right. And, perhaps to offer the school an elegant way out of the 'absolute - ness of their proposals, it might be possible to diffuse by suggesting that a relaxation during the pandemic could be an option, and may be flattery by conceding that their intentions are admirable.

I was wondering on this if there is safety in numbers - I am sure that there will be other parents with the same views and it might help to see if there are others responding.

I hope it works out.

Jane, such excellent suggestions and yes, I'm hoping to get some other parents to sign on.

Joy, I’m sure it’s a battle that’s raged on forever, just a little heightened by the pandemic.

It occurs to me that he may be doing what many of us do individually—reaching for clothing as a thing he can control, because there is so much else that’s out of control.

bella

(website)

Yes, private schools can be like this, focusing on appearances rather than substance.
I would also, as a general rule, start with one positive thing. Thank them for their ability to be flexible as to other parts of the uniform issue, for example. Then you can also suggest, why not extend this flexibility to the hoodies?
Make them think you are on their side, and then hit them hard:) If you are nice from the beginning, it is more difficult for them to refuse you.

SarahD8

I had the same thought as bella. Because, you are really asking for them to relax an existing dress code policy, right? I'm guessing that hoodies and jeans weren't allowed pre-pandemic.

unfrumped

I was wondering if “ hoodie “ gets them worried about all sorts of types, and logos, or if something about the garment— the kid huddled into his/ her hoodie- creates a vibe that is at odds with “ school” ?
I wondered if hats are allowed— like knitted ski hats ( is this what Angie calls a beanie), since head covering would be sensible in a chilly room, and kids could wear cozy roomy stretchy sweaters and hats, and a muffler!
Dress codes do get crazy, from point of view of the wearer and the “ enforcer”, since there are so many variations, slippery slope- lots of perfectly well- intentioned practical folks and also some who want to prove they can wear whatever they want- not that clothes “ matter”, except they do. So I would expect schools to have issues with how to navigate all of this, and whose “ exceptions “ to allow, and why.
Which are things you’re trying to be sensitive to in your appeal.

Sarah, good thoughts, as usual from you. The revised letter has already gone out. I did incorporate the suggestions you and Bella made about pouring on the empathy before the ask. As for what the school is trying to avoid—I have a pretty good idea, based on a letter from this new principal over the summer, in which he revealed that he has no clue about the difference between politics and BLM, or how racism is different from disagreement over politics. I don’t think he consciously recognizes hoodies as part of a Black aesthetic, but isn’t that typical of how racism often works?

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