I can so relate to this post, Suz. You've almost perfectly expressed my feelings last year when I looked at my (partially) re-built wardrobe and had an identity crisis. While I could articulate what I didn't like (boho, overly drapey EF, girly...), I couldn't figure what words would describe my style. I envied the ladies on the forum who seemed to know the words to describe their style and the places they liked to shop.
When I pulled out the wardrobe items that gave me the greatest "happiness quotient" (Jayne, so very grateful for that phrase!), it was easier to figure out what they didn't represent rather than what they did. But I figured that, knowing what I didn't like, was at least a start. I could walk by items that were very casual, overly loose fitting, girly, boho and so on. I guess you can say I found what I liked by learning what I didn't like.
I also tried to go into different types of shops, especially independent ones, just to try stuff on, especially things that were quite different than what I currently had in my wardrobe. Some were truly dreadful, many made me feel like an idiot, but, every now and again, I'd find something that made me go "hmm, not bad". And, occasionally, an item even came home with me. I found it was easier to experiment in B&M stores than in online or thrift shops. And the young sales staff had such a good time "dressing an older lady"; it must have provided them with some good stories!
Instead of using two or three words, it's easier for me to think of my insights as wardrobe principles:
I want a smaller, functional wardrobe that consists of clothes that I can put on and then forget about while I get on with my day. I don't like to fuss to get something to look right.
I'm OK with wearing the same outfit over and over again if it looks good on me and fits the situation. I do care about my image and won't deliberately choose unflattering looks.
I like items that are a bit unusual or interesting (love those Fluevog's), but they have to work with more basic items to make me feel comfortable. I'm a minimalist, not a maximalist.
More expensive clothing tends to suit me better-- the colors and cuts are more flattering. I set a high standard for an inexpensive item, instead of thinking "oh, it doesn't matter if it's not that great because it's only a few dollars".
I like wearing clothing that makes me look like a grown-up. (Thank you, Angie, for that one!) For me, age-appropriate means if it looks cute and trendy on a 20-year-old, it probably means I ought to give it a pass. I'd give it my Parisian test--"Would I feel comfortable wearing it in Paris?" or my newer Karen test-- "Would Karen wear this?"
I'll choose texture over color to make an outfit interesting. While I love MaryK's fierce use of color, I'm happier to stick to neutrals for most of my wardrobe. But she has taught me that, especially in my casual wardrobe, it's color that can make an outfit sing. So this summer, I wore my cobalt skirt with an orange top and a turquoise cros-body bag--and loved it. But, for most of the year, I'll stick to texture with color and pattern in low doses.
I could go on, but you probably get the drift. Maybe you're at the point where you can just sit down and articulate your wardrobe principles? For me, it worked.
