Help me dress my age!

bitsofpieces

I'm in my mid-30s and have a baby. So I consider myself (in my mind) the typical mom-on-the-go.

However, I am short and kind of small (comparatively), and I find that Juniors clothing tends to fit me best. Moreover, I like to show a little cleavage or leg. Those particular body parts still look good on me, and I'm kinda stuck in a mindset that showing a little skin makes me feel sexy. If I cover up everything--legs, cleavage, etc.--I end up feeling dowdy... I think in part because I am petite.

At the same time, too much cleavage/leg always looks trashy (and like I'm trying to hard to look young).

How do I strike that perfect balance between a little bit of sexy and still mom appropriate?

16 years ago

General

11 replies

Latest reply was from agrace

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I do think that on a petite person you can get away with showing more skin. Your body is smaller, those zones are smaller, and they don't read as a lot of skin. Just pick one or the other- if you're wearing a shorter skirt (and I still wouldn't wear any higher than a 3-4 inches above the knee) then make sure yout top covers. I wouldn't show cleavage for daytime wear, but a nice deep V or wide scoop that is just above the cleavage point are fine. Again- if you're wearing a low cut top, make sure the bottom is covered.

16 years ago

shiny

Veteran

Personally, I think you're still too young to be worrying about age appropriateness.

Your child is only a baby; it becomes so much more of an issue when you have teens and you don't want to be accused of competing with them, being the "yummy mummy" or of trying too hard by wearing their clothing, etc. Now that my kids are teens, even if I could get away with certain styles, I am much more sensitive about it.

Also in your 30s you still have great skin. The major skin changes start happening in your 40s. I'm 44 and reaching that stage where I "do not like my neck" anymore. My face is still fairly wrinkle-free but the skin on my neck and chest betray my age. Same goes for my legs, which are still in decent shape but the skin is just starting to show my age.

So I vote "flaunt it while you've got it." Enjoy your youthful figure while you still can. Don't arrive in your mid-40s and be sad that you didn't. Just because we're moms doesn't mean we have to dress frumpy and dowdy. If you feel sexy and beautiful and your husband loves it, go for it.

At 44, I would still wear the dress in your latest post myself, in a heartbeat... just with opaque tights, a lacy cami, and a statement necklace or scarf to distract attention from the skin I don't like anymore. You've still got at least 10 years to worry about that. Enjoy them!

16 years ago

cciele

Veteran

ITA with PPs. I'm 44, and was worried about the cleavage thing (since I don't mind showing a bit, sometimes). Angie said it was fine for me since I'm not that big on top (or in general). And definitely, show off one body part per outfit

Enjoy your 30s!

16 years ago

Lili

Active Member

I relate to you in many ways - I'm also in my mid 30's, have a 2 year-old and am just finding my sense of style again.
I always felt sexy showing cleavage, wearing fitted (not to say tight...) clothing paired with 3" heels, pointed toe shoes. Even though I was in a stable relationship I felt I dressed as a single 20 something years old.
However, motherhood changed it all - not only my body, but also my lifestyle, my budget, the time I had to go shopping just to name a few. Brianna describes this moments so well here:
http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....om-outfits
As a result, I had to make changes in my style. Some were temporary but some evolved and were incorporated into who I am and the image and I want to portrait now.
I guess the point I am trying to make is if you feel that your style suits your persona, body, lifestyle and you are comfortable with it, then I do not see the point in making changes based on your age.
To be more specific on your question, I believe you can choose tops that show a little more cleavage or go bare legs and still follow Angie's exceptional MOTG formulas. But that's only my 2 cents... I am curious to see what Angie herself has to say...

16 years ago

rute

Veteran

I'm 41 and feel sexier than ever the secret is to know how to be chic and not trashy.

You can show a bit of cleavage and heel and pencil black skirt, don't show everything at the same time, the fit is more important that showing everything, textures and fabrics are also a great way of feeling sexy ... what can be more sexy than a silk blouse, a pencil skirt and a nice textured or sheer hose?

16 years ago

bitsofpieces

(website)

Active Member

Thanks for the ideas!

I guess the fact that I'm self conscious helps me from looking TOO much like a tart. lol So maybe I'll go with the "if you got it, flaunt it" philosophy for now. I would hate it if, 10 or 15 years down the road, I looked back on this time and wished I had enjoyed it more in terms of fashion and clothing.

16 years ago

Anonymous

I think you already have it figured out and have a great sense of how to find the balance. I was going to say the same thing you already said, "the fact that I'm self concious helps me from looking TOO much like a tart". I think that is the ticket and you already have the instinct for it.

16 years ago

shiny

Veteran

I suspect there's also this whole petite angle to this question. We can wear juniors' clothing - because it fits us lengthwise. But it may be too scanty for our comfort zone once we reach a certain age. And yet, go in the petite department of any major department and the clothes often seem to be designed for our grandmothers, NOT us. We're stuck between this rock and a hard place, don't you think?

If you can relate to that, I will say this:

1) Shop in BR and Ann Taylor: they offer petites. BR is perfect for 30-somethings. Ann Taylor may be a bit more "mature" but you can get great basics which up the style quotient when added with trendier pieces.

2) Try Ann Taylor Loft too - which is aiming for a younger market. In fit, and vibe.

3) Do still shop in the juniors section, just be ultra-choosy. You can still find good stuff here - only not everything is going to work. As you get older, less and less will. You can still find the gem, you just need to be picky and look harder. Your instincts are right on; trust them.

16 years ago

agrace

Active Member

This is a great question. I struggle with this too. At 31, i don't want to be accused of trying to look like a co-ed but at the same time, now that I feel more of a sense of who I am and more confident I'd like to take more fashion risks. I feel for the most part I played it waaaay to safe in my 20's! I echo the sentiment of trying to live life the fullest now and having no regrets in the sense of dressing to express myself. I'd like to find that balance of youthful but classy. I feel I mostly have it down, if anything I tend towards the dowdy side. I'm scared to wear short skirts, for example.

But I also wonder if my sensitivity to this issue has anything to do with the part of the country I'm in (mid-South). I notice that in some of the coastal cities women in their 30's and 40's are still wearing very fashion-forward clothes.

I heartily object to the notion that fashion is strictly for women in their 20's. Even from a financial standpoint, that is way too narrow of a income for the fashion industry!
Great question and I'm enjoying reading others thoughts...

16 years ago

PalmFronds

Active Member

I totally understand your question as well and I appreciate your bringing it to the forum. I love hearing everyone's else's perspective on it. I am in my mid-thirties and have two kids also. My sister rags on me at times for "dressing too old" but I have finally found my stride I think. I have never been one to show alot of skin.Even when I had a great belly)don't anymore) I was not a mid-riff baring kind of gal. I tend to agree that some level of discretion is good anyway, and even moreso when you are a mom. There are so many ways to feel and look stylish and sex without being overly obvious.You are definitely on the right track, and I agree with the ladies saying that you can probably chose one or the other-cleavage or legs--and fulfill your goal. I am enjoying my thirties so much more than my 20's in terms of clothes, even though my body is not in the shape it was before kids. I know how to dress it better, and that alone makes me feel sexier and more stylish, even though it is more covered up.

16 years ago

agrace

Active Member

And I also want to add, as I was typing my last post with one of my kids talking to me (who is now in bed that of course it goes without saying that outside of the US there are countless fashion forward women everywhere in every city. My comment about being in the mid-South is b/c I feel I am in a very conservative area of the US. I *feel* there is a definitive line in the sand in terms of before you are a Mother and after you are a Mother in terms of what is deemed appropriate.

16 years ago

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