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HELP! Make my move easier: Your favorite tips for purging your possessions

Day Vies

Veteran

So, this is another reason why I have not been posting regularly on the forum. In addition to adjusting to life with a new baby I have been coordinating our family's move from the city to the 'burbs (Choosing what city, what location, how close is it to commuter trains, etc., etc.). The movers will be here to pack all of our things next week and will come back the next day to move it all to our new place.

We've been in our current place for 6 years. It does not help that we both had separate fully furnished homes before moving into this place together following our engagement. We have/had duplicates of a lot of things -- ironing boards, sofas, kitchen appliances, glassware, dinnerware ... The list goes on. I put off sorting through a lot of our things until now. I've gotten rid of many of the duplicates. That was the easy part. The hard part since we're moving into a smaller place is deciding what stays and what goes (space allows you to plenty of time to procrastinate getting rid of things you no longer use or getting rid of things you don't remember that you own...). I've been stuck trying to figure out what's really necessary that will make my new life easier vs. what am I holding on to simply because I've always had it.

I'd love to tap the collective wisdom of the forum. I don't care how obvious you think the suggestion is I want to know what you're thinking. THANK YOU!

PS bonus pic of DD who will directly benefit from your suggestions.

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Sal

Veteran

I think it has to be either useful or beautiful (and there is the rare thing that is beautiful because it is sentimental).

I purge things because I am holding onto them just in case. For example I sold my juicer - I do not like to juice often, it was space consuming for a once a year activity. If I need a juicer my neighbour has one I can borrow or I can buy a juice whilst shopping.

I also look at how many casseroles or salad bowls I actually need. In my case I like two casseroles, one big one for entertaining, and one small one for family meals. For sheets, I like two pairs for each bed that is in daily use (three beds), one pair for the spare room, and one pair for taking away to the beach or to cabins.

My battles are with books and crockery both of which I have lots of! Retro coffee cups and funky cake plates - it is all used and I love it BUT I could downsize.

I hope this helps and good luck:)

Adelfa

Veteran

Hi DV! Such a cute DD!

As you probably know I moved from a 4 bedroom house to a 1 bedroom apartment less than a year ago. (From 2000 to 700 square feet if that helps, also from the house where my children grew up.)

One thing that helped me was visualizing what I wanted my new apartment to look and feel like. This made many decisions easy.

Which leads me to my next idea--get rid of the easy stuff first. The things that obviously won't fit, or that you clearly don't need, or that are not useful or beautiful.

Next, give yourself a little bit of a break on stuff that's super hard. Either super hard to get rid of, or worse, hard to make a decision about. You can store a few boxes for a while, either in your new home, or....

Be okay with renting a small storage unit. I was completely against storage units and had never had one, but in order to make the transition, I got a little one. In it I stored my refrigerator, my washer and dryer, two treasured stuffed armchairs, the rocking chair where I rocked DDs, and a dozen or more boxes. At this point nine months later, I have given the fridge and an armchair to local DD, have made room in my apartment for the other armchair, have made peace with giving away my Maytag washer and dryer, and am girding my loins for unpacking several boxes of books into my new iron shelves, and figuring out what to do with the rest, since I don't want to pay the monthly fee forever.

Remember that you can keep culling after you move and that you don't have to do the perfect cull on the first try.

Meanwhile I have a (to my eye) lovely apartment, completely clutter free, and full of items that are beautiful and of sentimental value to me. It is my favorite place I have ever lived.

I found the downsizing difficult and overwhelming and downright scary. However the dream of a pretty and peaceful apartment sustained me. And the belief that I didn't have to do all of it 100% at move time made it possible.

I know you will do wonderfully! Can't wait to hear more!

Caro in Oz

Veteran

We went from a 4 bedroom (& sunroom) house with a double garage to a two bedroom one with a carport. I was lucky in that it was only across town & I could move into one while still living in the other but it was really hard. Years later we now live in a one bedroom open-plan loft & I love not having "stuff".

I agree with Adelfa, visualising how you want the new place to look really helps with letting go of the excess. I also made a mood board for each of my moves, which helped me focus on the positive.

My advice is, if it is something you can buy again & you aren't sure if you need it then let it go. Dealing with the sentimental stuff is harder & everyone is different. I kept one sentimental piece from my mother & one from my grandmother & grandfather, I photographed the rest & let them go without any regrets

Liz

Veteran

My super-obvious tip -- that I needed to keep repeating to myself when I last moved -- is to get rid of large or bulky items first and let the little stuff slide. At this point of the move, you'll get far more benefit sorting out and discarding pieces of furniture, lamps, large baskets, etc. than sorting out pillowcases, a bunch of ink pens or a stack of papers.

Then move on to books and kitchen items, which take huge numbers of boxes to pack. With books, i decided to let go of anything I could easily get from a library and anything I knew I would not want to read again.

I was helped by realizing that I, apparently, owned items simply to keep them in boxes and store them. Which didn't fit with how I wanted to live. I decided to get rid of things that I never, ever used, but just held onto in order to store away.

carter

Veteran

Awesome topic! We'll be doing this in a couple years when DS goes to college, and it really is an overwhelming prospect. My approach will be the same one that works best in my closet...consider the closet the "new" space, so take everything out. Then pick and choose my favorite items that I want in my closet. At some point, the next best item waiting to be chosen, really doesn't measure up to what you've already selected. The rest can go.

So, when the time comes, I will go room by room to "shop" for what I would like to use in the new house. For me, it feels so much easier to chose what to keep rather than to choose what to toss. Best of luck!

Alassë

Veteran

I hope moving goes smoothly for you, Day Vies. Thanks for updating us (and providing a cute picture).

Do you know what you need in your kitchen/linens/toiletries on a daily/weekly basis, and what is rarely used? I would start there, making sure you have all the frequent-use items. Seriously question the used-a-few-times-a-year gadgets, sheets you don't like but keep in case, cookbooks with only a handful of favoured recipes (photocopy those), etc.

For example, how often do you have company (overnight or dinner party)? What crockery/extra linens are necessary to do so? Along the same lines, what holiday goodies are dear to you & your husband's heart, that you will make every year? Keep the bakeware needed to make those, but toss the pans for desserts you don't care about.

Big one: Would you re-buy it if it wasn't moved? Keep. If you wouldn't miss it that much, don't pack it.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

DV -- your daughter is adorable!!

And good luck with your move!

You have already received some great advice.

My big challenge is always books -- we have so many of them. When we moved cross country I made the choice to get rid of all old paperback novels. Sort of arbitrary (I kept paperbacks of other genres) but it helped pare back.

I really love Carter's idea to furnish the new place in your mind with what you have and then decide whether any of what's left is worth keeping. Figure out where and how you will store things in the new place -- and allow what won't fit to disappear!

Good luck!

Kimberley

Veteran

Hi DV! I must tell you that your daughter is absolutely adorable - I could eat her up

Moving is such a massive task but you have gotten some excellent advice here - I hope it all goes smoothly for you. Good luck!

jackiec

Veteran

Good luck with your move! I can't get past your adorable daughter - I just want to hug her

We tend to move every 3-7 years. The last time was a biiiiiiig purge. I just envision the new house and where I'd put the item in question. If the answer is "crawl-space" then out it goes!

Sarah A

Veteran

DD is adorable! I always ask myself "Would I miss this _____ if I didnt have it?" If another ______ is just as good or better out it goes! I keep what I know to be useful or believe to be beautiful (and well a lot of other junk too... but I am trying to get rid of some of that!) All the best for your move

Day Vies

Veteran

Thank you all for your suggestions!!! I am so glad I posed the question to the forum. It seems that many of you have experienced downsizing in the past few years. We are moving from 1900 square feet of space down to about 1100 square feet. We're trading a sunroom and a third bedroom, for a sunny deck and a much more convenient location. (Oddly the bedrooms and living room are almost exactly the same size in both locations). I have spent lots of time mentally arranging the furniture in the new place. DH has given me many odd looks as I walk around our current place with a puzzled look and a measuring tape. Many of you have suggested that I envision how I want to use, decorate or feel in the new place and I think this is excellent advice.

Kiwigal - useful or beautiful is a wonderful way to think about all of our stuff. I have a strong practical streak and felt the need to make sure everything I kept was useful but you make a strong case for beauty. What's the point of having stuff that's only useful and does not delight the eye. Thank you, that is a very useful way for me to decide what to keep.

Adelfa - Knowing that I don't have to decide all at once is fabulous advice. That concept makes it easier to make decisions because now I am not overly concerned about making a mistake. (Should I have kept that extra set of dishes -- I might need them someday!?) I had issues with renting storage space too. It's nice to keep it in perspective knowing that it's not permanent and it's an option that reasonable people do consider.

Caro - knowing that I can buy it again (especially if I don't use it all that much) is great advice. It dovetails into the concept of not being afraid to make a mistake. So decision making becomes easier. I love your idea of photographing sentimental pieces then letting them go. I don't have anything that sentimental but it's a great idea that I'm sure I'll use when I state a new phase and leave this one behind.

Liz - Thankyou for giving me permission to let the little stuff slide. What does it matter that I haven't sorted through the junk drawer when I still have a chair and a sofa I need to unload?! Odd how moving gives me a serious case of tunnel vision!

Carter - I like the idea of shopping my rooms. It makes sense if I choose it again that it's something I should keep. Thinking about what to keep is much easier than thinking about what to lose.

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Alassë - excellent advice. I know exactly what I use daily and this piece of advice is a great way to think about the kitchen. I also have lots of cookbooks with useless recipes that I keep simply because I've always had them. You're right that I should just photocopy what I like and donate the book. Also if I would not buy it again if it weren't moved is a great way to sort.

Suz - so glad you brought up books. I though I had a lot of books until I met DH. He has the same affliction. Your experience helped me make a decision about my books. My guilty pleasure are my dog-eared paperback novels. I read them again and again while in the bathtub. Hardcover fiction books while I prefer them for their appearance, that appearance is the primary reason why they don't follow me to the bath.

Jackiec - good advice. if I envision the piece in storage it does not need to go to the new place.

MsMary

Veteran

Oh my goodness! Look at that sweet baby! She is so precious!!!!

As I think you know, I ran away from home almost two years ago, from a three-bedroom house to a 900 square foot apartment. I took only my clothes, the bare minimum of furniture and kitchen stuff I needed, and the (relatively few) sentimental things I loved. I did go back to the old house last month to get some more belongings, but at the end of the day I let go of most of the things I thought I'd end up with, and I feel fine about it.

A few things I learned: (a) It is often easier and no more expensive to replace things than to deal with packing and moving them. (b) If it's been boxed up for a year and you haven't needed it, you will never need it. Toss the box and don't look back. (c) It's kind of awesome to have room for new things in a new space, even if it seems a little bare for a while. (d) When you give your unneeded things away, you are blessing somebody else who needs them more than you do, and that feels really good.

Good luck with the move!!

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

Adorable baby!
I echo what Mary said. My approach would be not to select what to purge but select what you cannot live without and pack that first; then go through the rest of the stuff and decie what else may be useful.

crutcher

Veteran

The first thing on the list of things you can't live without is that adorable little girl...You, my dear, are blessed...
I would put my can't live withouts first...then, however, you choose to, dispose of the rest...This is a new beginning and a new start of your lives in your place...You really don't need a ton of whatwehadwhenwewereengaged in the new place...I see it as a new beginning for your family...

Kristin SF

Veteran

I can't offer suggestions. I can't bear to let things go, so I use a Coolbox storage container for all the "must keeps"! But I just wanted to say that DD is ADORABLE! So precious, what a beautiful girl.

Thank you for sharing her pic. And hope you're getting lots of good sleep, Mama!

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

My contrarian advice is not to over cull. Obviously, take this opportunity to get rid of stuff that you never use and don't anticipate needing, anything that you hate, and duplicates of items that you don't really need duplicates of (irons and TVs can probably go; scissors and extra serving spoons, not a big deal). You're moving across town, not across the country, and you'll have plenty of chances to get rid of things you don't need once you settle into your new place and see what you actually do and don't need.

Maybe it's me starting to get older, but I like having a few things around that I've had for years and years. And I've donated things that I've wanted back or had to replace, which is environmentally and financially less than ideal. I've learned that things change, and sometimes you need that thing that a year or two ago you thought you'd never use again.

rachylou

Veteran

Look at that cutie pie!

Ok. When I moved going the other way ('burbs to city), I did a drastic downsize. I calculated available storage, plotted the location of outlets and heater grates and strange wall protrusions... Things used in the past month came with, everything else was boxed for storage - to be sorted for donation or long-term storage. I gave up my most prized treasures, my books, for clothes because... there are eBooks but no eClothes... and lost the mop for a Swiffer, because a mop is a bulky thing to place.

DonnaF

Veteran

JUST MAKE SURE YOU KEEP THE BABY!!!! She's so ADORABLE! Naw; I knew she was on the KEEP list.

What a great time to get rid of the gifts you've always hated but felt guilty about getting rid of.

cheryl

Veteran

Your daughter is adorable. I am reading and learning along with you because I am not sure if I will be staying in my home or moving. I do plan on going thru each room and looking at it as if I am moving to try to make it easier if it does happen.

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

She is just too sweet

I will not help by telling by saying you've left it until quite late, but it will hopefully be a ground for going easy on yourself in the process ahead. My big move decluttering started months before we sold our old house, because I think getting rid of things requires training and discipline, for which time is of essence. It's a muscle - you start little and build up. If you overwork it too soon, you'll crash.

What does this mean in practical terms? You may need to go through things once, twice, five times over. The first time you'll be uncertain about something. Leave it on the Maybe pile, do not rush with the decision. As you make progress, you'll start seeing that with each thing you get rid of, you feel better about it, you're more equipped to make quick(er) decisions for that Maybe pile and you may want to revisit some items sooner than you think.

Brainstorm definite destinations where your stuff will go (friend/relative, donation, trash). If you don't know this ahead, you'll delay decision making. Make piles near the entrance door and take something with you each time you go out.

Do not underestimate the emotional pull of some things, but think to yourself if you really, r e a l l y need something to remember some event or person. Again, it may be harder at first, but it gets better.

In any case, sounds like there is a lot to go through and it is very likely that as you unpack at the new home you'll be thinking not just that there's no room for all things, but you simply don't want it in the new space.

Finally, try to organise the movers so they pack what you know you'll definitely need - last. That way the necessities will be available immediately. Also, it is almost inevitable that you'll end up with a lot of unpacked boxes 3, 6 or even 12 months down the line. It will be clear sign you maybe don't need what's in there.

p.s.

This service will cost you one more DD photo

Day Vies

Veteran

Ornella you are too funny! Just for you here's another

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Alassë

Veteran

AviaMariah

Veteran

I moved a year ago to a place with less storage and have been purging ever since! As you're finding out, a baby adds a lot of stuff and that only get worse as they get older. So I found a need to keep all belonging at a minimum to keep my sanity. I love the William Morris quote, "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful". I think in a perfect world you would have a month lapse time in where you have access to both places and you could "shop" your old place for only the items you want in your new place and they junk everything that's left. But since that's probably not an option, I think you'll find that you'll do a lot of purging before the move and then want to continue as you get settled into the new place. Good luck!!

Thistle

Veteran

My goodness, she is so cute!! And she looks like a happy baby

As for advice, I am a seriel purger. Most of the "sentimental" pieces we keep are because of DH, interestingly enough. I think it's because we moved so often when I was kid, combined with my strong dislike of clutter.

Here are my steps:

#1. Have I used it in a year? Read it in a year? If no, then I let it go. The only exception I make to this is the turkey platter and gravy boat for Thanksgiving/ Christmas. I don't host every year. This tends to purge a lot of stuff. And the baby stuff. We knew we wanted a second, so I saved things I will purge after DD2.

If that doesn't reduce enough, the next step is "how often int he last year have I used it versus what would it cost to replace?

In this case, the gravy boat and platter would be gone

Day Vies

Veteran

Congratulations Thistle on DD2- YAY! I am working my way through a lot of stuff and I'll be make a huge donation of useful items to the Salvation Army this year.

Anonymous

Your little DD is a wee princess.
We are planning to seriously downsize in the next. 2 years . It will be very hard. My criteria as I go through things probably won't help you. I ask myself, "would I take this to the old folks' home? ".