I probably don't get it - but your frustration resonates with me. I'm increasingly frustrated with the number on the scale, with the number on the tape measure, and with my BMI.

As an objective measurement, I'd want to know my body fat percentage, and if money were an issue, I'd look for a university study or a gym that is offering accurate body fat measurement (DEXA scanning or water displacement, not skinfold calipers) as an inducement.

Just chiming in to say I have found any weight chart frustrating in the past. All charts always say at my height I should be 110lbs to 115lbs. And I am usually between 125lbs and 130lbs. A few years back I was dead set on getting down to 115lbs. When I got down to 118lbs I had everyone I know calling me anorexic, I lost my period for months, I was always cold and tired, I was often sick, had night sweats, and overall it was a miserable time for me. And I wasn't even at the "magic" 115lbs number yet!

Now I use my health as a measure of my weight instead of the charts. Even at my current weight a BMI chart says I am only upper average range (implying I should loose some weight), a chart accounting for body frame size says I am too heavy (when using my wrist size to measure body frame size). I really do believe none of these charts work well. Maybe they will pinpoint a problem for someone when it is extreme but I only consider them "with a grain of salt." I may not fit into the numbers for most charts but I am now rarely sick or bruise, have great concentration, don't suffer hot or cold sensitivity or night sweats or any of the other problems I had when I was "thin."

At the risk of being too forward, may I ask if your weight is causing you current health problems? It sounds like you've been working hard for a long time to loose that weight, and if it's not causing problem a break might be good both for body and mind. Even if you continue with your current eating habits but with a lighter exercise load, and go forward with the thought that you're going to maintain and not worry yourself about losing weight FOR NOW, it may help. Then when you return to trying to get to your goal BMI, you may feel a bit more energized. I'm sorry you feel alone on this, and I just wanted to tell you that I personally think you look great.

I know and respect that I don't get it , which is why I am going to suggest again that you consult with your primary care physician. BMI, body frame calculators, body fat percentages are all estimates and guidelines but your primary care physician can take all that, your family history, and your current health issues into account and guide you as to whether you are at a healthy weight for YOU. Because of your health issues, you may be at your ideal weight, even if none of the "indicators" suggest so.

Kris,
I absolutely get it. I have no advice, I don't even have any words of encouragement, but I can tell you that I totally get how you're feeling and I'm in much the same place myself.

I had a recent epiphany that a big part of the reason that I have been on a 4 year cycle of weight loss and gain since I was around 14 is that I only lose weight when I take drastic measures. Even with the drastic measures, I get around 20-30 lbs of where the charts say I should be and everything grinds to a halt. For a while I try busting through the plateau, and then I get exhausted and angry and I start slacking off and giving myself a break and some love. I feel good for a few months and then my weight starts creeping up, except I'm so burnt out from the extremes, and not seeing the numbers "they" tell me I should see, that I just keep indulging until I'm at my higher weight again, feeling like crap and still not liking the way I look.

It's a very tough place to be. I know that even with extreme measures I won't be "normal" on a chart. That sucks and it's very demotivating to know that my best is absolutely someone else's worst nightmare.

I hear you and I feel you, but I have no advice, sorry.

Khris, your last comment showed how frustrated and demoralized you feel. I know that women whose weight is in the "normal" range can never REALLY get it, but I can try. I have experienced body dysmorphia first-hand, at least. And my grandmother was always obese, despite doing hard physical labour her whole life and eating a fraction of what the rest of us ate. She was pretty healthy and happy, too, until one day she wasn't (bowel prolapse/gall stones), and all the surgeons refused to operate on her due to her weight. (That I can understand, too; I've done surgery on rats, and the subcutaneous fat gets everywhere). It was incredibly frustrating for her. It sounds like you hare having similar problems, so I completely sympathize.

I guess I'm just saying this in an attempt to be encouraging. You are beautiful no matter what your size, so focus on that. It's important to practise not hating your body. Like I said before, your body has a happy weight range, and the range that's perfectly healthy for you might be too high for someone else. That's why the BMI charts can be somewhat misleading. But definitely talk to a doctor or a nutritionist, or someone experienced with helping guide a weight loss program if your size is getting in the way of good health. I think the goal is to try to stay at the lower end of whatever weight range is right for you, and a professional may be very helpful to that end.