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Have you ever been gifted something that is out of your comfort zone...

Neel

Veteran

by someone who is significant to you? DH/SO/BF/Mom/Dad could be anyone really. What did you do with such an item of clothing? Did it push you to try something new? Or did you toss it/store it as memory?

I am looking at my skater skirt that DH bought. A tad short for my liking. But I want to wear it when I am with him (date night perhaps) because he bought it. When I tried it before him, he said "It's not THAT short" Lol! I am sure it will never get as much wear as my longer skirts but it will remain a special piece.

Now on to you :). Is there anything that you wear/use that is outside your comfort zone, but do so because you value the person/person's opinion behind it? Obviously there is a limit to pushing our comfort zone! So yeah ...

General

23 replies

Latest reply was from Deborah

Susie

Veteran

Over the years my husband has given me some really wonderful pieces of jewelry. There have also been a few pieces, like hearts, that aren't really me but I've worn them anyway- and liked wearing them- because of the sentiment.

He was recently in one of my favorite beach towns and brought back 2 tee shirts for me. One is pink, definitely not a me color! But it's just a fun casual shirt so I will enjoy it.

Neel

Veteran

Hmm ..pink and hearts ... At least he bought a gift and what better way to appreciate it than wear it

I wonder how our husbands actually see us in their head! .... I think mine sees me like a refined *lady* ... Lol

Gaylene

Veteran

Yes, more than once. Being the only female in a house of males led to some interesting Christmas and birthday gifts when my husband and sons decided to surprise me. Needless to say, they were out of their depth when it came to anything feminine, so that usually meant fleece and gear chosen for functionality instead of style. All of which I oohed and aahed over, and dutifully incorporated into my outdoor wardrobe.

The whole issue became more delicate when my sons had wives and girlfriends to advise them. Both of my DILs are very fashion conscious, but their styles are quite different than mine--more Liberty prints and lady-like Chanel than edgy Helmut Lang--so I've had to figure out ways to wear these thoughtfully chosen pieces without feeling totally weird. It isn't always easy, but I've always thought complaining about a gift that someone else had spent some time and effort on choosing was tacky and thoughtless. Better to figure out some way to toughen a Liberty print shirt than to hurt the giver's feelings--at least in my books.

ETA: I just wanted to add that my solution has been to ask one, or both, of my DIL along to "help" me shop. They really do have a good eye and push me to try things that I might otherwise pass by as not my style; I think that they also gain a better idea of my style because the gifts I've been receiving lately are actually quite in tune with my style. And one of them suggested that I toss that Liberty print shirt because "it really didn't fit with anything else in my wardrobe".

Anonymous

I have no problem returning/donating an item of clothing that I would never ever wear no matter who gives it to me. My mom used to buy me stuff I really hated and would never ever wear. She did not understand why. When I was a young teen she thought it was great for me to wear micro mini skirts and really tight low cut tops (this was in the late 70s). I have always been modest when dressing and have never dressed like that.

My SIL once gave me a thong leotard! I don't know what she was smoking and she obviously does not know me. She also gave me a turtleneck knit dress.. Again did not pay any attention to my style.

I find clothing extremely personal and really do not want anyone, even my DH, to buy me any articles of clothing unless I give him detailed instructions as to what to get me.

Susie

Veteran

Gaylene, you are a kind and classy woman and I bet your DILs appreciate having such a nice MIL.

Neel

Veteran

Awwww Gaylene! You truly are blessed with lovely DILs :). And I am sure it's because you are a very kind MIL yourself

Lara - I had to laugh out loud at your post. Thong leotard?" Lol! I totally get why you would Like to choose your own clothes!

Jules

Veteran

Yes, some Swarovski jewellery from my DH, that I wear sparingly - it's really not my thing. For our upcoming 10th wedding anniversary I steered him towards a stand mixer instead...
My mother used to buy me clothes, then bug me when I didn't wear them. I mean I accept xmas gifts, etc, graciously but when she buys something SHE likes on sale at the store I've repeatedly told her I don't wear, decides I'm a good target when she realizes it won't work for her, and then bullies me to keep and wear it when I politely demur, there's no sentimental value.

rachylou

Veteran

I've gotten unwearable things: cloisonne cat earrings, massive plaid flannel shorts, a bulbous silver heart pendant, a beautiful but terrible-on-me pink and teal striped button down shirt...

Neel

Veteran

Jules - your mum is pretty .... Umm ..
Shocking. Lol! And a stand mixer instead of swarowski? This girl sure knows were her heart is

Rachylou - So did you donate them? Or kept them in the sentiments box?

rachylou

Veteran

I kept them all for a decent period and then donated. Maybe even donned them once or twice. Except for the bulbous silver heart. I ran straight out and consigned that sucker.

Jules

Veteran

Yeah, the blue pastel LaCoste golf shirtdress was just not something I was going to be talked into. I mean either one wears those, or one does not. I am a not.

Zibbets

Veteran

Jules, come sit by me. I think we may have the same mom.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Yes. I think we all do, Neel. I do not look a gift horse in the mouth, and exchange the item. I can't bring myself to do that unless it's a question of exchanging for another size. But I won't wear anything that feels off either. I keep these items in a sentimental box, and thank the person profusely for taking the trouble to think of me.

LACeleste

Veteran

Hi Neel,

Fun question!

In 12 years of marriage, my husband has given me 2 gifts of clothing. The first, 6 years ago, a GAP hoodie with built in hard warmers (I'm always freezing--even in LA) was so thoughtful.

The second, given 10 1/2 years ago when I was a new Mom, was a black silk midi skirt that he bought from a client's store Forth & Towne (Gap brand, now defunct).

He was so excited about that skirt! He said "I saw it and just knew it was your style!!" ughhhh. Admittedly, it was elegant, but I had never owned anything A-line or anything that length.
I did not like it. At all. I did not wear it. (I used the old "I don't want the baby to wreck it " alibi.)

Over the years, I would smile when I would see it in the closet because I would remember my husband's gleeful enthusiasm and happy days with a baby. I'm a sentimental fool.

Well friends, that midi skirt is going to a wedding in 2 weeks and perhaps out for other occasions now that Angie and YLFers have shown me the way!

Sara L.

Veteran

My mom frequently buys stuff that's not quite my style. If I know I'll never wear, I get the receipt and take it back. Sometimes it's something that's just a little out of my comfort zone and I usually try to keep that stuff and wear it. It makes me stretch a little.

rabbit

Veteran

I've exchanged new clothing for a different size and occasionally a different color. The unwearable jewelry I got in the past (usually from elderly aunts) goes in a small box and I occasionally sort through it and think of them. After about a decade sometimes I donate it or re-gift it sooner if there is a young cousin who might like it.

My extended family is very practical about gifts though and there is a gift exchange name drawing thing and dollar limits -- so specifically asking what someone wants, gift cards, and re-gifting on the spot are all socially sanctioned and appreciated, as are handmade gifts. Also there is an informal clothing swap that goes on which is a lot of fun and everyone saves up 'donate' clothes for.

Suzanne (ambergreen)

Veteran

Well. This question immediately put me in mind of something my mom once gave me--an oversized, bulky, cabled cotton pullover sweater with a hood...in circus-peanut orange. I will never forget that thing.

I do love orange, but uccch...not that one! I don't like "peach" at all either.

I do NOT know what she was thinking, because some gifts she chooses really, really well. Of course, this was the late 80s/early 90s, and fashion did not make it easy to look good most of the time.

Eventually donated.

Carla

Veteran

Like Gaylene, I'm the lone female in our household (DH and sons x 2). And no DIL in sight! ;-). I, too, get gear vs other clothing items...and this, the guys get right. My inclement weather running jacket, a great running vest, various black Lycra bottoms, a Garmin!!!

Like others, my mom is most likely to gift me with clothes, and items outside my comfort zone--bling! Sequins, sparkles, and bracelets!! I keep some, but most get donated after a few wears.

Laura J

I was gifted by my bf these dolce & gabbana fall 2010 runway shoes:

http://shoefolio.files.wordpre.....-2010d.jpg

The sock thing really isn't me. I'm going to try and cut the socks away from the shoes. I'll wear them if they're just sequin heels! (He found these on clearance at TJ Maxx this year - always worth checking the shoes there!)

Neel

Veteran

Thank you for the morning chuckle ladies. ....

Rachylou - you crack me up! Lol

Angie - You are a sweetheart! I usually store - groan - and then donate

LaCeleste - A skirt from 10.5 years back???? Oh my!!! I can't wait to see you wear them! You will show it to us right? Pretty please. I am sure your DH would be ecstatic!

Sara - that's very sweet of you. Stretching your comfort zone even a wee bit is pretty hard!

Rabbit - I think the gift card arrangement works the best. We have started doing that. Saves us all the heartache! Lol!

Ambergreen - You are too funny. Reminds me of the dreaded holiday sweaters. Bwahahahaha.

Runcarla - I do not mind gear either! At least no one sees you wearing it. Lol! But yours sound like a fun and very useful gift. Your family sure knows you well. And I am surprised how many mums actually don't get us!! Aren't they the people who are supposed to know us best? Mine usually takes me shopping. And she has amazing fashion sense. It rubbed off on me in lot of ways :). She also is very encouraging of everything I ever do

Laura - Those shoes look beautiful ... Without the socks of course :D. Hopefully you can get that thingie removed and enjoy the sentiment and the piece

On the other hand, I have also been the gifter. And the worst person who I never 'get' is my MIL!! Her style is oceans apart and whatever I super dislike she loves. Lol! And she is prety straight forward with it too .... So I always got "This is rubbish. Could I exchange it?" o_O. Over the years (after several annoying phases) I have just resorted to cash gifts! She appreciates that more! Aaahhhh ... Peace to everyone!

Deborah

Veteran

If it's a gift, I say thank you and pop it away. My mum gave me what for someone else would be a gorgeous statement necklace but just SOOO not me. I have been holding onto it for a couple of years now but will soon pass it on to someone else. I know my mum wont mind. But no I wont try and make something work that really isn't me.

Neel

Veteran

A statement necklace does sound good. But I can't imagine Deborah in it :). It is soo not your style! But graciously accepting a gift is a wonderful quality in itself.

Deborah

Veteran

Exactly! I always think it's about the thought and time someone puts into choosing a gift, and I really appreciate that.