"have to buy" vs "want to buy" (+ bonus earrings) - YouLookFab Forum

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"have to buy" vs "want to buy" (+ bonus earrings)

Maya

Veteran

I did a huge haul at Gap recently, but not for anything I actually wanted. I haven't bought new pajamas in 3 years so I desperately needed an update there. My undies needed some um, freshening up as well. I also got a couple of their "bras" to wear as demi-camis (the large is too small for me though...) as well as a new pair of stirrup leggings.

In total, the order came to around $200 AFTER a discount coupon. I felt a little sick but it really has been nagging at me lately and I know if I wait, things will just continue to pile up and I'll end up having to spend even more.

I'm so tempted to return it all and get something I WANT though. The thing is I'm not even done yet! I still have to get new loungewear as well, and I really should have another set of PJs...

Sickening.

Please talk me out of what I'm tempted to do. Some of you are like mothers to me. Give me a motherly lecture on being a good girl and getting what I need ahead of what I want.

On a side note, how cute are these earrings?

http://img.photobucket.com/alb.....at1852.jpg
http://www.modcloth.com/store/.....e+Earrings

Pardon my creepy web cam pic. I can't find my camera cable.

General

25 replies

Latest reply was from biscuitsmom

Sparky

Veteran

Can I just say I'm really loving your new haircut? Seeing the old style in the DC meetup just reinforced how incredibly flattering this new cut is on you. Are you enjoying it more yet?

DON'T RETURN the Gap stuff ~ except for the demis that don't fit. You NEED undies. You NEED pjs.

ETA: Oops, hit the submit too soon. Adding on . . .

What else did you get? Basic layering tops? You know you can't have a wardrobe built out of fun, unique pieces only. Need those basics as well, even if they're not fun. So keep what you got and breathe a sigh of relief that that chore is done, and move on.

Sparky

Veteran

Oh and yes, those earrings are cute!

Maya

Veteran

See other thread about the haircut :\

I actually just committed the sin of brushing it because I couldn't take it anymore.

I also committed the sin of buying a ROMPER.

http://www.gap.com/browse/prod.....;cid=38126

I think it's cute though. Rompers are growing on me. I figured pajamas might be a good place to start and build myself up to wearing one in public...

Thank you for talking some sense Sparky!

taylor

Veteran

OK...Mom mode here...exactly what I would say to my daughter:)

"Honey, why don't you keep all the things you need. These are basic items and you must have a foundation of basics for the rest of you wardrobe to work!!Once you have them you don't have to replace for quite some time!! And you need new pj's

The things you want will ALWAYS be...and you can focus on the fun I want items next pay period or next month. Search the things you want really well and then decide what you can afford..the want list can ~change~ daily."

she would of course respond with..."Mom...of course you are right" haaaaaaa")

But I am pretty sure you NEED the earrings!!

Lana

Yes, as sad as it is, keep what you need! It makes me feel much better when I have fresh new pajamas and underwear, even though it's more fun to buy more visible things.

Those earrings are really adorable! And color!

Sparky

Veteran

I just went back and read the latest in your hair thread. I'm so sorry you are struggling with this new cut. I do still love it on you though.

I think the romper is perfect in the form of pjs! That's a great buy.

Anonymous

Adorable earrings.

From one person who's let many areas of her wardrobe slide to another, keep the stuff you bought. I'm spending money like it's going out of style because I've neglected pretty much every area for the last 1-2 years. The monetary output and energy expended trying to get up to speed threaten to zap all the fun out of shopping.

AND ANOTHER THING! (shaking finger wildly) Let this be a lesson to you to not let it get this out of hand again!

April

Veteran

Maya, those non-exciting things we all need are no fun to buy (especially when they keep you from getting a couple of things you really want) but you need them. You can't make a fabulous outfit with raggedy, stretched out, past-its-prime underwear beneath it. You just can't.

So be strong, missy, and keep the things you really need. Maybe you have some traction to return the "bras" that don't actually fit and aren't serving their true purpose for you, but be honest with yourself about which things will support the rest of your wardrobe and keep those things.

It's infrastructure. Nobody likes to spend for it, but its absence is a disaster.

Maya

Veteran

I know, I know...

FINE *rolls eyes and turns away*

At least I have cute earrings. And another pair of cute earrings and a necklace. TBA...

tarzy

Veteran

April - ha! Infrastructure! Love it.

Maya - I'm sorry, but your hair is gorgeous. I understand that you're having problems, and I'm not discounting that, but honestly - I had to go back to the picture and specifically look at the earrings because the first time I was too enchanted by your beautiful hair.

Maya

Veteran

Well, not to be difficult and unaccepting of compliments (which are much appreciated)...but in fairness, I am holding it back. It's actually not so bad now that I brushed it *gasp* but earlier in the day it was a terror of terrors.

Dashrashi

Veteran

I can be the voice of dissent here--underwear I understand, but isn't the whole point of loungewear that you would never ever wear it out?

I'm a big fan, personally, of the pajama pants I got from Target in 2003, souvenir boxer-shorts from a prom in 2000 that I didn't attend, and a practice-run edition of a t-shirt from the Gap men's section I once screen-printed for an ex-boyfriend (it was a two-pack, so I silkscreened both and kept the one that was more crooked). Same with pajamas (or rather, those are my pajamas). I have one set, basically, that I feel okay about walking to the bathroom in when on vacation with my boyfriend's family, but other than that, having a cute pj wardrobe has never seemed like a priority--certainly not when J Crew has about three pencil skirts I want to try this fall. I guess I don't go to a lot of slumber parties anymore, which is when it seemed most important?

I have a separate category of play-clothes, but these are basically my vintage tees, my sailor shorts from F21, my Reefs, and all the other stuff I used to wear when I was a student but can't wear to work now. So if this is my loungewear-equivalent, it's at least still stuff I have a passion for (just found a Phillies 1980 World Champion vintage tee on ebay that's the same fabric as the tri-blends at American Apparel--am v. excited).

Layering tees, okay. If you need them to make your out-in-the-world clothes wearable, keep. But even then I like to try and make it count--does this BR cami fit like a dream? Does this Gap tank have a freakin' adorable baby-sized button henley? Do I love love love love love the pattern and color scheme on that J Crew silk tank I bought this morning ("buttercream pink"--I'm a sucker)?

I'm going to vote for keeping the undies, and scrapping the loungewear/pjs for something awesome and show-to-the-world-able, including the layerables.

eta: if the layering bras are too small, and you don't need them for an event TOMORROW, definitely return. Life is too short to purposely buy clothes that don't fit (with the aforementioned event-tomorrow exception).

shana

Veteran

Needs first then wants! I try to keep stock & buy necessities whenever I see them on sale so that I am not scrambling to replace a whole drawer full at once.

judy

Veteran

I think if they are your favorite kind of underwear, then it's worth it...but go for what works the best, first and foremost. I say meet some needs...and some wants...a little at a time. It keeps you in balance :).

Kyle

Veteran

I would skimp on the pajamas and/or loungewear and get something from the "want" category. Happy medium.

Maya

Veteran

I'm going to return one of the PJ tops and PJ pants I got and just get a tunic instead that I can wear with old, repurposed leggings. That will cut back some, and I like wearing old leggings to bed anyway.

I do like Gap for PJ's and loungewear, though, for a variety of reasons. Nothing individually is that expensive, it's just that I need so much at once.

Elly

Veteran

I am having a similar problem, but with clothes basics I need. I know they are important, but I have a budget and am feeling like I can't by the fun pieces that make such basics fashionable because I won't have anything to keep me warm if I do!

Undies are expensive, imo-- but important. I am going to have to replace all of mine this year (between 3 and 4 years old-- yes, I am currently wearing underwear with holes). I have to have at least 15 pairs and my favorites are about 7 bucks a piece (I have a big booty and have to wear styles that don't leave a line or cut and are cotton-- is a challenge) so I am going to spend quite a bit on undies this year. That isn't even counting both my tan bras that need to be replaced (one is 4 years old and no longer supportive, the other has holes).

Now, as for PJs I think it depends on who sees them. If you have roomates or a man at home that are going to see them (a man you want to impress that is) nice PJs or loungewear are a must. I don't spend much time in mine and don't have anyone I live with that cares or sees my PJs so I wear a lot of T-shirt and short hand-me downs from my BIG little brother (when I come to visit he saves the ones he has outgrown for me-- he is only 18, so still growing). The only times I have ever bought pajamas was back in undergrad freshman year living in the dorm. I didn't want my roomies and their guests to think I was homeless. Of course, if nice PJs make you feel good, keep em.

Maya

Veteran

Elly, I don't have roommates yet but I will soon. I think I may just combine my loungewear and PJs. Or is that gross? Part of the reason I spend a little extra is because I know I won't replace them in good time, so I need them to last. Three years of being washed and machine dried once a week is not shabby at all.

My PJ's have holes and one of them tore all the way up the leg! It looked like I had a thigh high slit.

Elly

Veteran

Lol-- I think it depends on what you wear for PJs and if your roomates are male or female and how often they will have guests around when you will be in PJs/lounge wear. I lived in an apartment once with three other women. However, we all had very different work and social schedules and I could be eating breakfast in my PJs and one girl would bring male guests in (she was a student, and also a trainer for the football team at the local college, and they would come in after early morning practice) at like 7 or 8 am. Then another of the girls would have friends or guests over late when I would already be in lounging clothes. In those cases I wore more lounging type clothes (nice sophisticated PJ pants, yoga-type pants, more covered up shirts). I personally wouldn't have been comfortable in anything that looked really pj-like (cutesy prints, short shorts, something like the romper). I preferred to wear stuff that I could pull of as "real clothes" when I was outside my room, just because we had lots of guests.

Then I had another roomate once that was female and was closer friends with. We had far fewer ppl in and out of the apartment and she would warn me if she was bringing someone over early or late. In that setting we both wore PJ pajamas and that was fine since we weren't in them in the middle of the day or anything!

RandomThoughts (Andrea)

Veteran

If you feel like you need these things, keep them. However I will say that anything that does not fit you right should be returned. I would not spend money on something that doesn't fit properly.

I'm not a big buyer of PJs or lougewear, so I'd suggest just combining them into one category. That's what I would do, anyway. I just don't see the point of spending much cash on things I can't wear out of the house. Undies are pretty obvious keeps.

FiestyWife

Maya, I recall an amazing thread about the necessity of well fitted & maintained bras. I think if you apply the same principles to this situation & your basics in general you have your answer! I'm struggling with the necessities as well because I so want some great frocks & skirts & BOOTS! However, little treats like adorable earring with bows make the non-fun buying bearable!

bj1111

Veteran

maya,

the earrings are clearly a necessity. your earlobes will be naked and freezing without them.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

I like Gap PJ's too! But I try to keep my loungewear to a bare minimum so I have more money to spend on other stuff. Only you know what your priorities are...not very helpful, I know...(-:

Louise

Veteran

Maya do you buy gorgeous PJs and undies? This may help you feel you got something you want? x

biscuitsmom

Veteran

bj1111, LOL! I love how you think! I agree, a little something like earrings can still make you feel like you got something in the 'want' list. But I would keep the undies and return all the others and buy something you really want. Surely you must have a robe you can throw on if you feel the loungewear/pj's arent up to snuff....