It's interesting reading all the responses. This is a great thread, Summer.

As children, in the fifties, my sister and I were always very well dressed--dresses, neat shoes, matching "play sets"--think Mad Men and you have the image. Both sets of grandparents were immigrants and literally came to Canada with just the clothes on their backs, but they all had "skills", so by working very hard, they managed to make a very good life here. My maternal grandmother was a dressmaker and passed her skills on to my mother, so, as children, my sister and I always wore beautiful hand-made clothes. My mother also worked as an executive secretary during the fifties while we were children and was always the best dressed mother around in her beautiful, tailored suits.

I grew up thinking it was normal to sew all of my clothes and that everyone understood how to adjust and tailor to fit your clothing to your body. I remember being surprised having to explain what a "godet" was to my Home Ec teacher. I also remember ripping out pictures from magazines in the 60s to serve as inspiration for my own sewing projects so I could wear the Mary Quant-style dresses I loved.

My rebellion towards "looking nice".was in the latter part of the 60s when the. "hippie" craze was going full force. My mother hated jeans with a passion--to her, they were work pants. She also disliked anything worn, torn, or dirty. I wasn't a huge fan of the boho, hippie look myself, but I remember tie-dying t-shirts just to assert my right to wear what I wanted. But I suspect her views influenced more than I realized because I really have a poisoned eye for distressed denim and poorly constructed clothing. I also have to control my urge to want others to tweak an off-the-rack item to get a better fit. As my sister says: "if they don't care, why should you?" Good point, and something I need to remember.

Absolutely.
As a young child, I was dressed in either plain and functional things like pull on pants and boyish knit tops (bought by my mother who liked plaid, navy, big white collars, and "wash and wear hair," all of which were not my favorite), or wonderful and expensive things, that were handmedowns from her very well off friends' children. I was the child who wanted a pony tail and a party dress every day, and being mostly dressed in corduroy or plaid cotton dresses and sensible shoes with a short pixie cut I disliked was not fun and didn't match my self concept. Eventually, the handmedowns dried up, and my mother never really quite figured out that it was necessary to regularly shop for me, among other problems at home, which meant that nothing about me was a priority for the adults there. This didn't feel good. Eventually, I gained control over my hair and grew it, and got a job and bought my own clothes, and eventually sorted out what worked better and worse for me. In a way, I'm still making it up to myself, to have current, pretty and fashionable things, and I do watch myself and self-check for shopping excesses or indulgences.

I think that the middle school years are simply hard for everyone. If you are sensitive about your clothing and feel like a "have not" then you naturally focus on what you don't have--the correct amount of the "right" clothing and conclude that was the problem. Actually, the age is the problem, and if you are nicely dressed to your own ideas, well, it is still horrible, but it wasn't about your clothing. I was very, very careful to make stylish clothing that met their tastes and needs a priority for my sons; no need to recreate trauma.

My mom was always a fanatic for a good bargain and I still get sale goggles. But on the other hand I have scored some really great deals being patient and thorough when sale hunting. She also sewed and was really good at tailoring things, so she'd always buy things that were just a little off on the fit and alter them to be perfect. I find myself thinking along those lines all the time, but I have to constantly remind myself that I am at best a mediocre tailor (and I don't own a sewing machine) so I often can't actually execute what I envision. I do have a pretty good eye for good quality tailoring and fabrics though as a result. Another weird side effect of having a mom who could tailor everything herself was that I had no idea that professional tailors existed until I was an adult! And even now I find that a lot of so-called "professional tailors" do a really crummy job.

My mom is also a bit of a hoarder and doesn't like to throw anything away. That's definitely a mentality that I've had to train myself out of as well.

In terms of style, I have always been interested in it but didn't really develop one of my own until I moved away from home. My mom is a very polished sort and ironed everything. I was that kid who had ironed jeans at school. After I moved out, I don't think I ironed anything on my own for years. (Now I'll iron once in a while - or make my husband do it for me - but it's still a rare occurrence.) Her style is quite different from mine too - it is very polished, modest, and ladylike. She very rarely wears pants, only skirts and dresses and high heels more often than not.. There were definitely things - like ripped jeans - that she would never, ever let us wear when we were kids!

What is it about ironing? I've been ironing since I was about 10 years old. My mother had a wooden ironing board that wasn't exceptionally stable. One day I stupidly bent down to open a dresser drawer. The ironing board, with a hot steam iron sitting on it, was near the dresser. I bumped the ironing board with my elbow, and the iron fell on top of me and burned the inner part of my left arm, near the elbow. I had a scar from it for years. I still iron, of course, but not nearly as much as I used to.

I love your list:

• school uniform - 1-3 items depending on laundering needs
• 2 or 3 outfits for after school and weekends
• A warm winter coat
• A party dress

I think that's basically the way I was raised. Which is maybe interesting, because my parents were born at the start of WWII. A general reflection of the times, maybe - and not just the war.

But I have a dragon's hoard of clothing now. I kinda think this is my parents' fault, despite my limited wardrobe as a child. I think they viewed children as very different from adults, and when you became a young adult that was something else. You started needing more clothes. My parents really believe / believed in finer things. They paid attention to fashion.

I think it's possible that wearing a school uniform for 12 years made me crave variety in my wardrobe and contributed to my reluctance to dress exactly like everyone else. Growing up in a large family with not a lot of money and a Mom who really put herself last kind of made me go the opposite way and believe that I should treat myself to nice things.

My mom was born in Europe and came from a well to do family so she always dressed impeccably. I was born in the US in 1956 (my parents and my brother came to the US in 1950). My mom always dressed us well and I did wear uniforms through 12th grade. I did not own a pair of jeans until I was around 18 and bought a pair with my own money. My mother did sew, mostly for herself, and a few things for me. I grew too often for her to be able to keep sewing for me. I would outgrow clothes almost as soon as she was done making them.

My mom did learn to shop the bargain basements of Bamberger's (Macy's) and I had really nice clothes. I guess buying quality has rubbed off on me and I look for quality at a good price. To be honest I have never purchased clothing from stores like Target or Walmart ever in my life. I do buy shoes at DSW as there really are not any private shoe stores where I live anymore, where I used to get all my shoes growing up. I will shop stores like TJMaxx and sometimes find items, otherwise I still shop stores like Macy's or Blooomies or Saks.

Because my mother loved beautiful things and taught me to appreciate good fabrics and nice tailoring, I have always, ( since I could shop for myself) bought nice things. It's really her legacy. When I was a child I remember she bought things at a fine specialty store...one outfit was a gray flannel skirt, gray cashmere dressmaker sweater, and a gray chesterfield coat with a velvet collar. She had a pair of shoes to go with it that were by Amalfi...which still makes shoes today. And we weren't wealthy! That was probably the only outfit she bought that winter. ( or year!) But it was beautiful and high quality. I'm like her but I have more clothing than she ever did.

Thank you all for your fascinating stories. It's been so interesting to note the recurring themes of hoarding, the need for neatness, shopping for bargains, and hand-me-downs. Between us we have a book in the making.

Summer - you may have just identified something for me. The need for variety... I would actually like to let go of it a bit, and be more focused. Maybe knowing where it stems from will help!

Definitely yes, although I am not sure it is good for my wallet. I started sewing at age 5 for my dolls. By the time I was 10 I was sewing for myself and my dat told me that if I continue making my own clothes I could have as many pair of shoes as I want up to a certain dollar amount. Well, we had a Leed's shoe store in town that carried narrow shoes and I had a narrow foot and twice a year they had their shoe sale. I would wait until the end of the sale because what was left were mostly narrows and they were $1 and $2 a pair. I could get 10 pair of shoes for under $20 a season. Needless to say this experience has led to a very bad habit.