Has being fashion-conscious warped my sense of dress codes? - YouLookFab Forum

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Has being fashion-conscious warped my sense of dress codes?

crazyone

Veteran

So I recently purchased this schoolboy blazer in navy from JCrew factory: http://factory.jcrew.com/women...../28639.jsp, and since it's quite comfortable and goes with a lot of my clothing, I've taken to wearing it quite frequently. But everyone around me reacts to this blazer as if I'm dressing somewhere along the business-casual to business-formal spectrum. My law school roommate just asked me yesterday whether I was going to an interview, when I paired it with a black skirt (I was wearing a green plaid shirt, floral tights, and knee high moto boots...so I thought of it as a smart casual outfit, not even business casual).

Of course for the scientists I work with anything blazery (even if it's knit and hot pink) screams formality, but I honestly thought a schoolboy blazer was at most smart casual, what with the shrunken sleeves and gold buttons. To me it's the kind of thing to be worn with jeans or over dresses casually, not to be worn to interviews or the like. But I've run into this issue multiple times now, that something I wear mostly because I like the style is perceived as being very formal. I originally thought it was just because I was surrounded by (very) casually dressed scientists but some of my friends who work in less casual disciplines have commented on the formality, too. Maybe it's the influence of too many fashion blogs/articles--has this happened to any of you?

Dressing

21 replies

Latest reply was from crazyone

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Oh, this happens to me a lot too - but I think people around me generally dress well (especially my staff docs who are very elegant and love blazers and pumps and leather satchels), when I stop out of my department though, people often ask me if I'm here for an interview.

That being said, I was better dressed than some of the candidates at the interviews last year, and I was not impressed. Wear a jacket, people - it's an interview.

I make a conscious effort not to wear anything too structured for hanging out, or even going to the mall with friends. I forced myself to wear a -sweater- and -jeans- the other day. I felt miserable. Everyone said, "Oh, you do own pants!" YES. I DO OWN PANTS. AND I FEEL MISERABLE. Back to dresses or skirts asap for me.

PS: Your outfit sounds simply lovely.

Anonymous

I have worked in the same dept for 4.5 years , reading fashion blogs for maybe 3 and someone said to me the other day jokingly 'are you having an affair, you're so dressed up and chic lately'....I burst out laughing.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

A, that is hilarious! It's one thing to be suspected of interviewing on the sly for another position, and another thing to be suspected of having an affair. Ah, the lure of fashion...

I do think some people just automatically read jackets as 'formal" or "corporate." Not much you can do about it. Wearing jeans with it does help some.

I just laugh this type of comment off. I might say, "I love jackets." Or, "I find the layering keeps me feeling toasty all day." Or something. Eventually they get used to it.

Greyscale

Veteran

I get that all the time. Definitely.

On the other hand, now that I've just moved from postdoc to PI, I find that the dressier clothing is keeping people from asking me what year in grad school I am. (I'm 34. I'd be a 12th year, except I finished six years ago...)

This means I'm always looking for ways to tone down a dressy item (scrunch the sleeves, untuck the shirt under my blazer, only wear with jeans, that sort of thing). If even your non-science friends think it's looking interview-y, maybe your natural style is very polished.

Geography also makes a difference, but glancing at your profile, you seem to be in my old home of Cambridge where people do still dress in business wear - so I'm sure plenty of people on the T are wearing blazers. Here in SF I feel like I stick out even more.

Anyway, the good thing is that people will get used to your look over time. Maybe you'll even inspire other people to wear things they'd been too shy to try at work before.

Anonymous

If I wear a blazer with anything other than jeans, people assume I'm going to work, or coming from work. People I know are used to the way I dress (and around here, smart casual is "so dressed up!" too). Be true to who you are; your outfit sounds very sharp.

Diana

Veteran

You know, I used to get this a lot, but now that I've been in the same lab for a few years nobody even bats an eyelash. In fact, there was one day I wore my New Balance sneakers (for lab cleanup day!) and more than one person commented that they had never, ever seen me wearing sneakers. So I guess I do have a reputation but everybody is used to it by now.

The funniest comment I ever got was actually in the opposite direction, when I was wearing my ripped up jeans: "Oh my god, did you fall down or have an accident?!?!?"

ETA: Your field is probably a bit different than mine though. More boys for one thing, I should think. And since my lab is at the medical campus there is a wide range of dressiness around campus and on the shuttle bus, etc, what with the doctors and such.

Gigi

Veteran

Very nice blazer!

If people aren't fashion conscious, I think they will read this blazer as formal work wear. But like Claire says, dress the way you want and the way that makes you feel fab. People will get used to it!

Adelfa

Veteran

Yes, people respond when I wear a jacket. Oddly (or not oddly) the most intense response is to my Theory jacket. My Gap Academy blazer, my BR velvet blazer, my Lauren swing coat--these all fly under the radar by comparison. And yes, I've been asked if I have a new boyfriend! I am able to wear a range of looks at my workplace so some looks seem dressier by comparison.

jayne

Veteran

I don't understand why people make such comments. I know there appear to be uniforms within branches but you would think, in 2013, that inividuality would be more common and a blazer wouldn't stick out. I live in a very homoegeous society, believe me everyone wears the same, but even so I don't get comments for my obviously different style. I thought the states would be more, i don't know, wise? accepting of uniqueness? and such need to point out 'you are different than us' would have passed away. Just don't get it.

Jacky

Veteran

I definitely get that a lot too. I don't wear blazers much anymore, but I often get asked when I'm wearing a dress if I'm going out later that evening. Like a couple of other people have mentioned, I think it's mostly specific types of items tend to read to people as being more formal or dressed up. It took a year or so for people to stop asking me about it at my last work place.

Scarlet

Veteran

I am in line with your perception of dress codes, C1. I wouldn't worry. Just enjoy your jacket. I love the looks of it. I have gotten some weird comments over the years, but on the whole people just get used to it and get over it.

A, that is too funny!

Alexandra

(website)

Veteran

Is this kind of dressing (relatively) new for you? If so, that may be why people assume it's for an interview (= kind of like special occasion). If you don't wear a blazer fairly regularly, then wearing one might appear to be taking things up a notch in formality, which in many people's eyes equals interview time.

If this is how you dress on a regular basis, I'd chalk it up to people's oblivion.

Jewell

Veteran

I was thinking the same as Suz, for some people jackets are dressy attire and there's no getting around it. My solution is to pair my blazers and nice jackets with jeans. I realized how polished my manner of dressing had become when one of my students asked me quite seriously what type of shoes I planned to wear for field day. I said, "sneakers, of course!" She replied, "Do you even own a pair of sneakers?" One of her classmates chimed in, "I've seen her in sneakers once or twice."

halfpass

I often get comments on my outfits, often it seems like others are attempting to make me feel uncomfortable for being "dressed up". Which is odd, because I would never comment on how inappropriate some of my colleagues are dressed (a professional office setting).

crazyone

Veteran

thanks for the responses, everyone! Some interesting thoughts here. Though I guess my initial question was more about whether I'm out of touch with normal dress codes rather than why people make those comments. Most of these comments that I'm referring to didn't occur in a professional setting, so I didn't find it rude or anything. Just thought that maybe *I'm* the one who has no sense of dress codes...I would have thought a schoolboy blazer would be not be interview appropriate anyway (at a formal place where you would dress up for an interview)...right?

Lyn*: I envy you for having well dressed people in your department! And I didn't know that you wore jeans, either Rock on with the dresses and skirts, they're often more comfortable anyway!

A: that's hilarious, but a bit offensive too. When I started dressing better, about 3 years ago, I got a lot of "are you dating someone?" questions too, but I am single and that is not as bad as "are you having an affair?"

Suz: great responses, I'll try them out sometime!

Greyscale: ooh, a fellow academic who lived in Cambridge! What's your field of study? The thing is, I always feel like I am not that polished--I'm usually wearing casual flat shoes, I never wear plain buttondowns, and I certainly don't have any level of polish to my hair or makeup. So that's why I'm always surprised when I get these comments.

Clearlyclaire and Gigi: thanks for the affirmation!

Diana: well, I've been in the same lab for a while, too--over 6 years! But I am not necessarily just referring to comments from labbies. And yes, my field is more male, which means that the females are under more pressure to dress less femininely in case they project the image of being less capable to do work. Funnily enough, it's always on the days that I'm wearing a dress or skirt that I end up crawling on the floor dealing with cables, screwdrivers, etc! It doesn't stop me from doing anything. And that's hilarious about the response to your ripped jeans.

Jayne: I wonder if it's that in Norway, people feel a greater need to keep their opinions to themselves? I don't have that much experience with Scandinavian society, but they seem to be more tight-lipped (at least publicly) than Americans do, who are in turn far more tight-lipped than Indians, who feel free to comment on everything and anything. Also, all these comments are from people who know me, so I don't find it offensive in any way.

Adelfa: another person who got boyfriend comments! I find this line of commenting stranger than the interview ones.

Jacky, Scarlet, and Alexandra: I've been dressing "nicer" for a while, and have worn blazers of various sorts for years, though the schoolboy blazer is eliciting more comments than normal. I don't have a consistently formal style, though--I wear things like shorts with tights and boots which are more on the trendy+casual side.

Jewell: one thing is that I've started wearing jeans less frequently these days. They sometimes seem more uncomfortable to me than other types of clothing, so I've started wearing them less. Maybe it's because I've gained a few pounds, but still, most jeans these days seem to be designed to be worn fairly tight!

Gaylene

Veteran

Short answer: Yes.

Implicit dress codes are specific; change the group and/or the context and the items you wear will be interpreted from a different perspective. We all use clothing as way to quickly figure out people, but our interpretations are very subjective and come from our own experiences, biases, and the like. The YLFers will see your jacket from one perspective while people in your environment may see it from another. It's not a question of who is "right", or who is "wrong" as much as it just different ways of interpreting the item in question. The comment you hear (from a YLFer, a colleague, or whoever) just gives you insight into that particular person's way of interpreting the world around her; you can join her in her interpretation, ignore it, or anything in between.

Greyscale

Veteran

Crazyone: I'm a genome biologist (computers, no labwork, so I don't have to worry about clothing choice).

Neel

Veteran

I think the worst comment I got has to be "she doesn't know what to do with her good clothes" !! This for wearing a dress (20$ on sale!) For my son's birthday party!

I am a SAHM. And its annoying when people think I dont need to dress up or own blazers or anything good at all! And that's not going to stop me from dressing up! Rock the jacket C1!

rachylou

Veteran

People who like to tell themselves they're normal (aka, my mum and boyfriend), wear fleece and comfortable denim and running shoes. All. The. Time.

If you wear anything else, you are dressed up. Possibly costumed. Period.

On the other hand, my mum (along with my dad) taught me The Dress Code. And you know, I don't understand this, fleece and denim are barely involved.

In any case, a blue blazer is expressly not formal per The Dress Code. It's what you wear for a family dinner. Or perhaps, a casual get-together of academics.

Sigh. It's just a Great Mystery.

Anonymous

it was a work "friend" thst asked me so I wasn't insulted. My dept is the most junior in rank on our floor and many of my team works from home. typically we are or have been the most casually dressed. I like to think I upped the ante. lol.

But now it is a team joke when someone compliments another on their outfit, the first person says 'Thanks, I'm having an affair'. (we work on constant tight deadlines looming over our heads so we have developed a weird sense of humour to cope.)

i married young, 20 yrs in April. I do not condone the practice but I would need to clone myself to do it

crazyone

Veteran

Gaylene: it's true that there is really no "right" or "wrong". But so much of dressing is about conforming to social codes. It was a little bit thought-provoking to realize that I was conforming to the social code of YLF or other fashion-minded communities but not to the social dress codes of those around me.

Greyscale: computational genomics is a cool field! Dress code kinda matters for me since I am often going to the cleanroom or building setups in the lab. But most of those things can still be done in most of my clothes, too.

Neel: that is an incredibly catty comment! Of course you deserve to dress nicely!

Rachylou: thanks for the education on The Dress Code! Hilarious as always, especially the fleece and denim part!

A: good that it turned into a joke like that!