Has anyone ever gone a bit wild (shopping spree)? - YouLookFab Forum

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Has anyone ever gone a bit wild (shopping spree)?

em

I have never ever gone on a shopping spree. What for? I don't want a lot of stuff in my life. But I have had a necklace on my shopping list for over a year (4 digits), I need to replace my winter boots (3 digits), I need a quality belt (3 digits), still on the hunt for a proper raincoat (do I really want to splurge on the Burberry one?), a new iPhone (mine is 6+ years old and no longer updates), and in looking at my closet realize that I have ZERO spring tops. All my tops/blazers are in dark tones, which rather depress me in the warmer weather. Oh, and a new pair of sunglasses, as my current pair's lenses got all scratched up when I forgot to put them in a protective case.

By the way. In response to my previous thread about how the aging process has caused me to gain weight and half my wardrobe no longer fits...I was discussing it with a co-worker and we agreed that the way forward was to dump the older clothes that will never fit again and replace them with a single Chanel suit. We figured that if we had a Chanel suit in our closet then we'd never miss the rest.

PS - My point is, I feel guilty about spending money. Why is that, I wonder?

PPS - And isn't this amazing?? https://halsbrook.com/catalog/product/152409

Shopping

23 replies

Latest reply was from Je Ne Sais Pas

MsMary

Veteran

1. Yes. I retired last fall and went on a huge shopping spree to replace/refresh my wardrobe and it was very expensive and totally worth it. I wouldn't have done it without my sweet husband egging me on, but I'm really glad I did it.
2. OMG that Symthe blazer is AMAZING!!

pirouette

I totally agree with dumping stuff that you know you won’t wear again at least then you know what you have to wear and what wardrobe holes need filling. Spending money on ourselves sometimes is hard butI believe i worked hard and deserve to look after myself.

Anonymous

When I was young I remember shopping and buying a number of items at one time. Nothing expensive though as I had scant discretionary funds back then. Also, when you’re young it seems like everything fits better and everything looks good on you! Now I’m lucky if I come home with one item as I’m much more picky about colors, patterns, silhouettes, and quality in my older age.

I do fantasize about having several thousand dollars just drop from nowhere into my lap and doing a big clothes shopping spree. Wonder where I’d go?? Hmmmmmmm…..

Suz

(website)

Veteran

That's a great jacket!

I tend to feel guilty about spending money, too. I was raised to believe that thrift and self-denial are virtues. I still believe in thrift, but I don't believe in self-denial, and I have definitely gone on shopping sprees -- more than one! The biggest about 12 years ago when body and lifestyle changes meant I needed to build my wardrobe from the ground up. The most recent one last year, when I needed a serious wardrobe refresh.

I never go beyond my own means, though. I might spend a lot more in one year than in another, but over five years it all evens out. Even when I go on a spree, it will be with dressing for my real life in mind. I might buy the odd item that won't see much wear, just because I adore it -- but never more than one of those per season.

cat2

Veteran

I did a massive refresh in 2019! And then 2020 happened…. I am still pulling tags off pieces bought then. I also did a refresh last year with pieces in my current pant size. This year I am fine with a slow roll, so I think it will all even out.

SW Ann

Veteran

Yes, I have gone on a huge shopping spree, when I ended up in a city with no luggage except for my toiletries, and the outfit I was wearing for travel. I spent $1200 in 1990, which in current terms, I guess, must be about $5000 (!!??) It felt indulgent, but I too was egged on by my husband, and I wore the choices a long time, and the pressure actually made me more choosy than I thought it would. It was fun, but I felt weird doing it. The choice of wearing the same clothes for 5 days felt worse!

Carol

(website)

Veteran

I think there is a very real reason many people feel guilty spending money. And that is the very tangible and limited quantity of it, limited for so many. A shopping spree may be impractical for people who need food or doctors visits instead....

or even if you have money, often people have it designated to something else--travel, or a fancy wedding. Most people would feel guilty spending money on clothes or fun, I would wager.

I say, do the spree, if you don't have a big bill somewhere else. I always wince for something I don't "really" need...($100 for an artisan turquoise and silver bracelet), then I never regret it when I end up using it. It's about knowing what you REALLY want.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I feel like the answer is definitely yes for me, but actually I am on a constant low churn so I would have to think for a while about the last time I had a spree. I wonder if we are programmed to feel more guilt about certain kind of purchases.

em

I am just irritated by the knowledge that I do need a new phone, I do need a proper spring/rain coat, I do need new winter boots, I really should replace the sunglasses because they have scratches all over the lenses, so...

But dang, I've been eyeing that necklace for over a year now.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I looked back at your old threads… didn’t you say you had more disposable income in the past year or so?
Maybe you could upgrade the iPhone with not the very very latest version, that’s what I tend to do with mine, it makes the cost a bit less but they will still update. I have managed to have 3 of them since 2013 so each lasts several years. And get the raincoat ( maybe not Burberry?!) and the boots and then think again about the sunglasses and the necklace. I’m sorry about the necklace if your heart is given to it…

kkards

Veteran

Hmmm…well as much as I’d love the say buy a new wardrobe that fits or the necklace ….if you have a limited budget and your phone isn’t updateable that comes 1st. I’d do as JenniNZ suggests and buy an older model, or the SE.
then I’d buy a sunglasses. Because you only get 1 set of eyes and you can get a good pair, even prescription for $100(ish).

Ok, then take what’s left and splurge on something. Treat yourself

em

Oh I am absolutely getting the SE. I like phones I can stick in my pocket. But. It is still over $400.

Maybe I'd feel better about it all if I committed to actually buying something, rather than all at once.

Also pissed about the boots. I loved those boots. Aquatalias, and they weren't cheap either. I've had them resoled once, but now the inside fur-ish lining has worn away leaving my feet to rub against the last, and I can't even begin to describe those blisters.

unfrumped

Veteran

I say worry less about the all-at- once as any kind of moral thing, but just look at the budget & your list of real needs, and be picky & patient enough.

Phone for sure sounds top of list. I had to get over my frustration at replacing phone when I didn’t NEED any new features per se, but battery wouldn’t hold a charge & as you say can’t get some necessary updates.
So one does have to fix the car, the HVAC, etc and best do that so can see what’s what.

I can’t comment on the Burberry thing, it’s not on my wishlist ( realizing as well that I seldom wear my trenches) so it needs to be really valuable in some way to you— did it fit like a dream, make you feel fab, all that-or are there other coats you could love, if you found them.

I agree with moving on from clothes that don’t fit or feel good. That’s more of a going forward thing though— you don’t have to have a spree per se, just start evaluating what items you actually wear but need better fit, style and maybe do some “ retail research “ on brands that suit you now. Then it’s more, when you find something great on your list , and it’s affordable ( what that is for each person), you buy it.

em

The thing about the necklace is that I have never bought myself jewelry. All of mine I got from my mom and grandmother. And I'm not married, so I thought to myself, HEY! I'll buy my OWN jewelry! And last year when I got a big promotion I thought that this was the perfect opportunity.

But I just can't bring myself to do it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?.....hisPodcast. It is not a necessity. A part of me feels like I am buying to satisfy something, when really, I should look for validation outside of material objects.

judy

Veteran

Well, the phone is a necessity, right? I have an old one, a 7 and my son has a 6 and we can both do updates.

What does the necklace look like? Is there a hankering for a particular type of jewelry that can be satisfied by something else? Also, one way I've gotten over one obsession is to replace it with another one. It has really worked for me. It amazes me how quickly the old and the new one can fade. On the other hand, if you've wanted it for a year...maybe go for it. Give yourself permission. I bought a ring like that once. It was a "got to have it" feeling. I did love it and wear it for about ten years. Still have it but don't wear it any more. I just can't bear to wear any jewelry lately. So however you feel about it now, those feelings will probably change, but it's not a reason not to get it. And jewelry, unlike other things, does stand the test of time, as you say, you have some from your mother and grandmother.

I've been noticing how some of the clothes I've been looking at online lately are just unbelievably expensive. I like to browse some small boutique type places with unusual brands, not necessarily to buy, but just to see the colors and the styles. When I feel the pang of wanting something, it's interesting to notice what that is all about. What do I think it will satisfy? And will it? It's interesting to examine the root of those feelings. Honestly, I'm just as happy with the thrill of finding a thrift store item...recently a lovely cotton summer dress, don't think it's ever been worn, that I liked so much I would have paid more money for...as I am when I invest in something from a pricier brand and love it. All this to say perhaps measuring satisfaction with an item rather than digits of cost may feel better and help with decisions.

Runcarla

Veteran

I used to do a big B&M seasonal shop twice a year and essentially buy a capsule (skirt, pants, a couple to tops) - but not anymore.

After many years of holding household, I realized almost all my linens were fraying or giving out somehow and did a big edit/replace of sheets and towels. I find those kinds of things creep up on one.

Je Ne Sais Pas

Lots of thoughts here, sorry if this is too long and messy…

No shopping spree for me, as in spending a whole day/morning/afternoon shopping without restraint. I definitely feel guilty spending money. It is a cultural thing. And I am ok with that, I still spend money on things I like and guilt does not prevent me from enjoying them.

I don’t think a shopping spree is a good idea… I say space the purchases a few weeks or months and you will maximize the pleasure. I promise there is a reason for that.

That said, yes, there are moments where needs (and wants!) seem to concentrate at the same time: phone, glasses, boots!!!! Everything at the same time!!! That has certainly happened to me. Quoting Suz: “I never go beyond my own means, though. I might spend a lot more in one year than in another, but over five years it all evens out.” Exactly so for me.

Jewellery… I love jewelry! I want to encourage you to buy it for yourself. I do. Jewellery is beautiful and long lasting, joyful, sentimental, sooo personal… What Judy said about replacing one obsession with another is totally true. Look for something else. I recommend Rubylane and 1stdibs vintage. Ylang23 is a feast for the eyes. And you can still go back and buy the necklace you want if you still love it. Just be sure to but for your real life, not the imaginary one. (I am happy to search jewelry on-line for you or anyone on the forum… I do plenty of jewelry window shopping).

The jacket you linked to is beautiful, yes, but doesn’t look very versatile, unless you have a lot of plain (as opposed to patterned, excuse my English) clothes or you ace pattern mixing.

Burberry trench… I know it’s the gold standard of trenches, etc… I would be happy with a cheaper but still nice trench (is it Hobbs the maker of a gorgeous trench Angie has???)… and get some cash for a jewellery fund

Suntiger

Well if you're coming into spring, and not in the Sothern Hemisphere, you can postpone the boots!

Phone and sunnies are definitely the priorities. Re: the $$$ pieces (trench, necklace) would you wear them enough to justify the cost? If you have a lot of mild, rainy weather, maybe the trench is a good idea. If it goes from cold to hot with minimal in between (like my climate), and it only gets used a few times a year, it may be $$$ spent you'd later regret.
Same with the necklace. If it's a special occasion only thing, and the occasions are few and far in between, maybe not. If it's a daily wear item that would be your signature And you are not afraid to wear it for fear of losing it/messing it up, maybe.

judy

Veteran

I enjoyed watching that podcast link you posted, em. One thing they said that stuck with me was to enjoy the WEARING of our clothes, shifting to that experience of appreciation, rather than having our joy only be about new acquisitions. It was a good reminder for me, thanks.

Ket

Veteran

Currently me I am healing after a long season of health issues. I suddenly felt tired of wearing cheap sweats and getting by with cheap jeggings that showed every lump and bump. I felt guilty too. I am a wife and mother. What if the nicer clothes get ruined? What if my health shifts again and I have to replace my wardrobe it all over?? And then I realized... what if instead, I actually enjoy life and enjoy this season where I'm at? And trust that if and when things shift again, there will be more? <3

So... I just purchased some nicer clothes for this spring/summer. My drawers finally are full of pretty and exciting clothing. I actually have enough to maybe have to cull a few items this year, depending on wears and such.

I still need new boots and various new shoes. Taking my time with those.

Go for it!

em

You are so right, @Je Ne Sais Pas. I am not going on a spree--it's just that several high cost items have all worn out at once. And over arching it is a WANT. I guess the sensible answer is to put off the want until the needs are met. The hesitation is that I am not actually going to buy the boots or coat until I find ones that actually suit me. Their replacements could be 6 months away...or years. With my luck, though, everything will drop at once. Now I feel guilty.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I feel sad that you feel guilty It doesn’t sound like you are overall a thoughtless purchaser by any means.
My i-Phone is an SE which I bought Jan 2023. It cost way more than $400 though- that’s the weak NZ dollar for you! I hope you can find a nice one.
Just gradually work through your list keeping an eye out for boots or coat that will fit well and make you happy.
I don’t know what to say about the necklace. I haven’t bought many expensive jewellery pieces. Probably the most was matching necklace and earrings from a Swarovski sale in Waikiki Beach on a Hawaiian holiday in 2016. I haven’t worn them that much, but one of my 2 daughters has also borrowed them and decided she loves Swarovski so she bought herself one pair of earrings then I bought her a piece for her 30th birthday, which is all a nice connection. And I have lent the necklace to another young woman for an event as well which feels good. I think I haven’t worn them that much as they are very dressy, but they do make me happy to look at.

Je Ne Sais Pas

@em I totally get you! I am in one of these moments were a lot of needs accumulated: lost sunglasses, lost navy cardigan that allowed me to build so many outfits, underwear that needs replacement, wool coat looking old but that I still wore this winter…

And wants!!! I am usually not prone to indulging in wants, but I just bought a white bag that was not a need… it was not extravagantly expensive, but definitely on the upper range of what I would pay for a bag. I bought it over needs, because this is a small maker & shop and this was the last bag in white of the model I love and I already have in another color… this model has been tweaked and I don’t like the new version. So, you see, I was able to rationalize a want over a need… but now I find myself browsing and looking at more bags, as if a fulfilled want created yet more wants, and I tell myself to stop!

Yet another want: a vintage silver brooch at a very reasonable price… again this is a want that is insidious because the brooch may be gone anytime, and I know the price is right.

Ha! Such a long post and no answer or solution…

PS: Makes sense to wait for the right boots and coat!!!