Has anybody else noticed this?

Transcona Shannon

Have you ever noticed that the day you wear something that's out of your comfort zone or has something different about it, is the day you get the most compliments on your outift? Why is that? Is it because the people who see you the most (in my case, co-workers) are used to you wearing particular garments and when you wear something different, it catches them? Or do we not see ourselves the way others see us?

14 years ago

General

5 replies

Latest reply was from Girl X

kimlee

Veteran

I have noticed this phenomenon and have ponder the same question myself. I think that the answer is both. Our family, friends, and coworkers have a paradigm that they view us thru - perhaps subconsciously - so when we wear something outside of that paradigm, their thinking shifts and gives birth to the compliments. Additioanlly, I believe that women tend to be our own toughest critics and do not see ourselves in the same manner that others may see us. I have a particularly dress that I do not like myself in - but my husband and friends think I look smashing in it. Perhaps it is all about perspection.

14 years ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

It could also be that sensitive people intuit our awkwardness and rush to pay compliments!

I HOPE it's not always that!

I also find that sometimes compliments aren't that trustworthy. It depends on the source. Sometimes people compliment US when what they are really complimenting is the colour we are wearing (which may not, in fact, look all that good on us, but may be a personal favourite of theirs).

Gracious, I'm gloomy today, aren't I? What a spanner I am!

But I think what I'm really trying to say is that I trust my own judgement (and the photos) more than I trust what others say. I DO want to test my boundaries by trying outfits outside my comfort zone. But at the same time, I won't necessarily believe the compliments (or slurs) I might get on those outfits. I think it's important to weigh all the factors—what my own eye tells me, what trusted friends (including YLF) say, what strangers and less-fashion conscious colleagues say, how I feel on first wearing, how I feel after a few tries with it. Know what I mean?

14 years ago

rae

(website)

Veteran

I'm with Suz - I trust the compliments most when they come from someone who I know has a good eye and knows my style (YLF, hubs, possibly my sister...)

14 years ago

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

I hear exactly what you're saying Suz - and I agree completely! My husband always says you can't trust compliments from women in general (not including those whose opinions you can rely on) because they often pass them out randomly to be friendly or like you say, compliment a particular item ("gee I like your jacket") rather than you in that item ("gee you look great in that jacket"). I do have one friend at work who I know will tell me the honest truth if I ask, whether it's what I want to hear or not. Other people find her abrupt, but I know when a compliment comes from her, it means something.

But I do find, for me anyway, that I have a distorted image of myself and often cannot tell if something looks good or not. Like Kimlee says, we are our toughest critics.

14 years ago

Girl X

(website)

Veteran

I think that people grow accustomed to seeing people how they usually see them - which makes it easy to not pay a whole lot of attention. So when we wear things that we don't normally wear, the people around us have to take a second look, because they're seeing something unexpected. And now that you have their full attention ... compliments!

14 years ago

Category