Happy Holidays vs Merry Christmas - YouLookFab Forum

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Happy Holidays vs Merry Christmas

greenglove

(website)

Veteran

I have a bit of an issue with the politically correct Happy Holidays that I feel obliged to say in regard to holiday greetings
I do celebrate Christmas but aside from that, isn't that what Dec. 25th is about?
The birth of Jesus Christ, hence Christmas.
I may be missing something but how could that be offensive, it is what it is.
If there was another custom that came from another religion that I chose to celebrate, I would not feel obliged to call it something else.
I am sure there are many who disagree and I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
Do we need to call a Christmas tree a holiday tree?
All the stores are using the word Christmas- have it in time for Christmas.

I am at home with the flu and have not had any chance to catch up with this lovely blog.
Thought I would throw out an off topic question, It does not really bother me that much bit I do question the rationale behind it.

Off Topic

31 replies

Latest reply was from rachylou

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Don't even GET me started! I work in a hospital and last year all staff got an email message from our Human Resources Department reminding us that we are not to use the expression "Merry Christmas" at work as it is no longer politically correct. For the life of me I can't figure out how me saying "Merry Christmas" to someone is offensive. I do realize that not everyone celebrates Christmas - but I am not offended by my Jewish friends who wish me Happy Hanukkah - instead I think "how lovely that they would wish me something nice".

Sometimes people get bent out of shape over the weirdest things.

ManidipaM

Veteran

I think the confusion happens because a lot of people celebrate a bunch of different holidays around this time. Plus, there are people like me for whom celebrating Christmas is a cultural rather than a religious exercise --- I see it as a remnant of Yule.

It makes perfect sense to say 'Merry Christmas' to a practising Christian, of course --- at least those who celebrate December 25th as Christmas Day (unlike the Eastern Orthodox Churches, say). Perhaps not as much when greeting someone who participates in it from a purely non-religious festive perspective, or celebrates Hanukkah or Hogmanay or Dongzhi or Kwanzaa or Shabe Yalda on the same day or around the same time --- because then it can seem like you are privileging 'your celebration' over theirs? Or equally, to an atheist, who might feel like you're ramming religion down his unwilling throat?

I don't feel too strongly about this myself. I'm no practising Christian, or even any kind of Christian or practising much religion. Yet I do see how it is perhaps the most universally polite way to go in a multicultural space where you keep encountering people whose beliefs you may not be privy to --- which is true of increasingly more spaces these days.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I personally don't care what holiday greetings people send me, but when I coordinated publications for an independent school many years ago, I made sure we used the all-inclusive Happy Holidays greeting to make sure we were not excluding anyone's culture or faith. It was not the most diverse community ever, but we did have Muslim, Buddhist, Jewish, families, etc., and we were working hard to attract and embrace "minority" families of all kinds, so we wanted to be sure no one felt slighted. The headmaster of the school agreed with me, so our communications were worded accordingly. I know some people roll their eyes at "political correctness" but IMHO, it was just a matter of respecting that not everyone celebrates "Christmas."

Mochi

Veteran

I do not have any problem whatsoever with people who say, "Merry Christmas." I DO have a problem with the people who are offended when anyone says, "Happy holidays." And there are many of them, or at least they're being more and more vocal. Please. Not everyone is Christian, and there are a lot of different holidays at this time of year.

milehighstyle (Linda)

Veteran

If someone is nice enough to wish me a happy or merry anything, I am not going to be offended. Even if I don't celebrate a particular holiday, the idea of someone wishing my happiness is pleasant. I don't view it as having religion foisted on me, it's just a kind greeting. I was offended at an office party recently, when a company owner called for a prayer before dinner that was specifically aimed at one religious group. Not the time or place for that.

Gaylene

Veteran

I've always thought it's more important to think of the intent behind someone's words than the actual phrase or wording that someone uses. If the intent is to wish me joy and happiness, why would I throw that back in someone's face just because the phrasing is not the one that I might use? I like the concept of using inclusive language because I think it acknowledges and respects the diversity that exists in our society, but, it also demonstrates respect and consideration when you look past specific words to acknowledge the intent of a message.

The only time I get upset is when people start insisting that their beliefs and practices ought to override any other considerations. But, then again, the intent of those individuals is not to wish me joy and happiness but to establish their personal agenda.

Mochi

Veteran

Wonderfully articulated, Gaylene.

greenglove

(website)

Veteran

Great thoughts, all of you who have responded.
I do not think saying Merry Christmas is forcing a belief on anyone or trying to push an agenda.
Nor do I think Happy Holidays is offensive.

Kat

Veteran

If I know someone is Christian and/or is celebrating Christmas (if I know them personally, or catch them carrying a Christmas tree home, etc) I happily wish them Merry Christmas. If I am at all unsure, I am happily using the "Happy Holidays" as it is more inclusive. I suspect at times, that if one is in the majority (Christians in the US for example) it is tough to understand the experience of the minority. Someone once explained that fish are unlikely to notice that the substance they are swimming in is water, as humans don't often notice they are breathing air...though both will notice immediately if put in the others' environment. Because it is my desire to wish happiness, health and good things to others this time of year, it is also my desire to express that wish in the way that allows the sentiment to be best heard... thus, it is "happy holidays" unless I have evidence to the contrary (when I say "happy chanukah, or kwanzaa or solstice, or whatever"

Aziraphale

Veteran

I think the sentiment behind using "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" is simply the desire to be inclusive, because, let's face it, although it IS a holiday time for pretty much everyone, it's not about Jesus's birthday for everyone. What if the person you're addressing is Jewish? Or Muslim? Or no religion?

Now, if I WERE Jewish, and someone said "Merry Christmas" to me, I'd still appreciate it. Someone is wishing me happiness. It's all good. People can be a little too touchy.

I DO agree, however, that it's stupid to call it a "holiday tree". It's a damn Christmas tree. It's a specifically Christmas-related tradition. Jews and Muslims don't put up big bedazzled evergreen trees in their living rooms (and probably think, correctly, that however pretty the tree may be, what a bloody great big fire hazard!). It's as if saying the word "Christmas" is somehow verboten, which makes no sense to me. Why can't Christians observe their traditions just like everyone else? Or those of us who aren't any religion, but have Christmas trees as a part of our cultural tradition? Geez. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, political-correctness police.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Gaylene says it all for me!

One of my pet peeves is when people ask me for my "Christian" name rather than "given" name. Ah words.

Diana

Veteran

I default to saying "Happy holidays" most of the time, because that is actually what I celebrate AND it is the most inclusive. However, I do sometimes say "merry christmas" to people whom I know celebrate it, just as I will say "Happy Chanukah" to my Jewish friends, and I do not mind at all if these things are said to me.

Echo

Veteran

I generally say Happy Holidays because I am not a Christian myself, yet I celebrate the time of year as a cultural tradition. I have many friends of different faiths and I prefer to be inclusive. I am not offended if someone wishes me a Happy _____ (something I do not celebrate) because good wishes are always welcomed. As far as a business is concerned, I can understand them wanting to be inclusive with a greeting this time of year. People can use whatever greeting they prefer in their off time.

Anonymous

I volunteer at a yearly charity Christmas shop that uses the word Christmas in its name even though many Jewish immigrants are helped and no questions are asked about one's religion. A few years ago several businesses and schools suggested that they could only help with donations and collections of food and coats IF we would change our name to sound more inclusive (use holiday instead of Christmas). We kept Christmas and many individuals have since offered help and donations because of this.

ManidipaM

Veteran

I love the way Kat explained it.

It's not about pushing an agenda. It is about the majority or those with greater sociological privilege/power acknowledging the Other, and reassuring them of goodwill. Something often very necessary in divisive times. Because you don't know what and who else the other person encounters on a regular basis. Not everyone is as tolerant or enlightened, and not everyone they meet is as free of agenda as you might be. (I have some little experience of having the shoe on the other foot, despite technically belonging to the religious majority in my own country --- because I went to a school run by the Methodist Church. The majority of the students were not Christian; but let's just say specifically Christian prayer and instruction were a mandatory part of our daily lives, and it just felt hollow and obliterating, even blasphemous for some religions like Judaism and Islam.)

Btw, the 'holiday tree' is a tradition that predates Christianity in northern Europe. It's an yule tradition. So it's not technically wrong to call it a 'holiday tree'. Doesn't make it less of a Christmas tree, either!

(Tangential musing: I wonder how many of you have read a poem Dream of the Rood --- you'd probably need to find a translation, but it's very beautiful and I highly recommend it if you've not come across it before. It is a narrative from the perspective of the tree that becomes the Cross... Very moving.)

Aziraphale

Veteran

You're right, Manidipa, I had read that the putting a tree inside your house was a northern European thing that predates Christmas in that part of the world. But that tradition, like many others, got subsumed by the Christian holiday and is now firmly wedged in it. It doesn't belong to the other religions. It's still a Christmas tree (unless you want to call it a Yule tree, but good luck with that).

taylor

Veteran

I agree with you Jean 1000%

Kat

Veteran

Thanks Mandipa for your compliment, but also for sharing your story and the poem reference.

Kat

Veteran

Came back to add some thoughts on my interpretation of "political correctness". I find nothing to be disturbed about when a person is trying to be considerate of the feelings of others, I think it contributes to general civility. I also think it important to generally assume good intentions rather than bad in others' intent. I suppose the problem comes when the focus shifts from my putting the focus on managing my behavior to expecting specific behavior (outside of basic decency) of others. To me, the appropriate thing seems to be not to treat others as I would like to be treated, but as I think THEY would like to be treated, and then to judge with a kind eye the intent of others. I think the resistance to the "PC police" comes when people worry more about the behavior of others than their own. Intent is difficult to discern, in my life I try (with varying degrees of success) to be very critical of my own intent and much less so of that of others.

Queen Mum

Veteran

I had to chime in here. I wrote this on Facebook a while back....
"I'm not one to get all in a dither over the "Happy Holidays" vs. "Merry Christmas" issue... BUT, I have to wonder why it's okay for a clerk to wish me a "Happy Halloween" but it won't be okay later to wish me a "Merry Christmas"
and then added..
"and the crazy thing is, Christmas is a national holiday... Halloween isn't"

Honestly, I really don't care what the clerk wishes me, I appreciate the well wishes,but I do think it's a bit silly to be so fearful of uttering the word "Christmas" for fear that someone might be offended.

rachylou

Veteran

I think the problem is when someone is standing right in front of you and they totally ignore you and who you are. To be wished Happy Holidays when you celebrate Christmas is the same as being wished Merry Christmas when you celebrate Hannukah. You are a non-person, an ant. It's not really a nice thing to do.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Rachylou, I'm not sure I understand what you mean. Someone might be standing in front of me, but I don't necessarily know their religion. I don't agree with your comparison -- Happy Holidays is meant to *encompass* Christmas as well as other winter holidays, at least that's always been my understanding. Maybe I'm reading your comment the wrong way?

Deborah

Veteran

Jean, you have touched a nerve:) I have been having vigorous discussions in my work place, a large humanitaran aid agency, about this. I have had to send my volunteers and clients "Christmas" cards that say "seasons greetings', wishing them "happy holidays" etc - not mention of Christmas. I have a very strong Christian faith AND I am very respectful of all beliefs and and find no offence in people of other faiths sharing with my by way of wishing me a Happy Hannuka of whatever important holiday or festival it may be for them.

However, I think it would be fair to say the majority of our population (Australia) are currently shopping like crazy for Christmas gifts, have a tree and will be celebrating Chistmas either in a religious or non religious sense....and are partaking of all Christmas has to offer, holidays, work shutdowns etc... so not to be able to wish someone a Merry Christmas in my mind is ridiculous!

And on Kim's point, Halloween has started to develop a much higher profile and level of interest in Australia over the past few years. It is a festival (?) that I have no interest in and is contrary to my beliefs but am I offended when kids come trick or treating? Am I offended by all the merchandise in the stores? Am I upset if someone wishes me Happy Halloween? I think it 's time we got over ourselves. Tolerance works both ways

Woops, I think I ranted... sorry...

Traci

Veteran

I think it all comes down to who the communication is for. If you have a need to fulfill by wishing Merry Christmas to everyone, then I think it's fine to fulfill the need in that way. I just don't think it's a kindness to everyone to make the assumption that you are doing something for others by wishing them a Merry holiday that they may or may not celebrate. If it's part of your faith to share the holiday and you're doing it to strengthen something within yourself, or with your God, I see no harm. Sometimes we just lose track of intent. A simple question such as "Am I saying this for you or for myself?" can really help us pin down how we wish to present ourselves.

If your intent is to wish merriment and happiness to another person, then I think it only makes sense to do that in a way that includes them and the way they may or may not celebrate their faith. I wish a Merry Christmas to my christian friends, Happy Channukah to my jewish friends, and Happy Holidays to any friends whose faith I'm unaware of, and I feel completely unburdened by political correctness in doing so.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Well said, Traci!

Laurinda

Veteran

I'm Atheist and I don't mind Merry Christmas; I doubt that Christians are offended when we use the weekdays Wednesday (Germanic god Wodan/Odin), Thursday (Norse god Thor) or Friday (Norse goddess Fríge).

The "Reason for the Season" is the tilt of the Earth on its axis and celebrating the Winter Solstice is much older than the Christian religion.

I find the origins of holiday dates fascinating. Based on day length we have the Winter and Summer Solstices, and Spring and Fall Equinoxes:

Winter Solstice (ca. Dec 21): Yule/Christmas
Spring Equiniox (ca., Mar 21): Ostara/Easter
Summer Solstice ca. Jun 21): Midsummer
Fall Equinox (ca. Sept 21): Mabon

Midway between these days are the Cross-Quarter Days:

Feb 2: Imbolc/Candlemas
May 1: Beltaine/May Day
Aug 1: Lughsandh
Nov 1: Samhain/All Saint's Day

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Kat

Veteran

Traci, you said more succinctly and directly exactly what I was aiming for, Thank you! I strongly concur.

Gaylene

Veteran

Well said, Traci, especially your last statement! Being sensitive to others' feelings is NOT "political correctness".

If a practicing Christian wants to wish me a "Merry Christmas", I'll gladly accept it and respond in kind, and do the same with a "Happy Holidays" from another person. But when either side starts dissing the opposite version that, to me, is when the politics get in the way of the purpose of the greeting IMHO.

MsMary

Veteran

Team Traci.

And I might add that I agree with a wise friend of mine who says he always tries to be "PC," which he says stands for "polite and considerate."

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