Sona, I was shocked speechless by this post (been a laggard on YLF for a bit), but I just had to find the words to say 'hang on, please! you're more than worth living for!'
I know I for one count you as someone who changed my life for the better --- and it made me a better person in the bargain to have a role model like you to look up to. I wanted you to know this, and I hope---with all my heart--- that you can believe it yourself wholeheartedly, how very valuable and precious and inspiring you are. Even more so than your name might suggest, you are a bright, shining light. Please keep believing that and I pray that you find the strength to keep the faith.
Sona, on a more practical note, I had the same thought as missvee --- not just about your seizure medication but also about the many hormonal changes you've been through of late. Revisit them ALL with your caregivers, please --- it might be a very simple switch that makes you feel sunnier again. At least, I sincerely hope so.
And in the meantime, hard work though it is... hold on! Thank you so much for honouring us with your confidence, and we'll all try to be here for you, I know, as much as possible. I hope you will also find the same confidence in those closest to you physically, both in your family and circle of friends as well as among your caregivers --- let them hold your hand and hold on tight so you can do what it takes to beat this demon and come back stronger.
I will continue to wish you strength, both of mind and body --- the shakti of the goddess herself --- and hold you close in my thoughts.