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Hairstyle and Fashion

krishnidoux

Veteran

Today I tried to play a little in my closet to put outfits together for the coming week. Normally, it is an activity I love doing: mixing and matching the pieces I bought with what I already have in the tranquility of a non working day, in my bedroom. I had not done it in a little while, and with new pieces recently added, I though this would be fun.

This time, though, and despite all the right elements, I found no fun. I dutifully tried some pants and skirts with various tops and new jackets, but with little inspiration, little enthusiasm and finally little success.

After a bit of thought, I realized it is my hair. Incredible the effect a hairstyle can have! Since June, I have been growing it from a short, short pixie to my goal (pic one). Except right now it looks more like pic 2. And none of the clothe I have and love seems to go with that 1970-ish style. The clothes that worked so well last year with a very short do have lost their chic. Everything seems to make me look stumpy, thick and older. Yet I know I am thinner than last year. And the worse part is that I can't seem to be able to arrange that hair in any way to make it more bearable: it's too short to pin elegantly, too long to respond to molding pastes. Sigh.

Anyway, just wondering if any of you have, or has had the same issue? How do you cope?

And how strange that just a haircut would transform an entire wardrobe full of clothes from cool to matronly.

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Dressing

20 replies

Latest reply was from Lyn D.

Carla

Veteran

Hair is my bug-a-boo as well. When it is good, it is very, very good....and when it is bad, it is horrid! I am overdue for a cut, but RL has been crazy! I am actually going shorter, and aspiring to a Jennifer Laurence style long-in-front, short-in- back crop.

This time of year all the magazines seem to do their makeover issues. I'm interested in seeing "what's hot". Hoping there is a translation for 50+!

rabbit

Veteran

I hear you, I accidentally dyed my hair black a few days ago and sigh internally whenever I look at the mirror (I just wanted to touch up the roots with dark brown, farewell all the caramel highlights).

I've not tried it, but I wonder if you could go to a salon not for a cut, but just for a styling consult? I'm clueless about hair products, but occasional have pinned even very short bangs to one side to just have a visual part.

Helena

Veteran

Yes, I can see that - when the hair and outfit are different style, the disjointedness (is this a word?!?) kind of makes one of the two look "off". Do hang in there though - it's so tempting when growing out hair to give up and cut it off!! Soon you'll have a chic bob and all will be well again

Deborah

Veteran

Krish I so hear you on this. I am one of those people who if my hair is not right nothing is right. I am wondering if you might need to compromise with a trim that allows for some style at the back and sides but leaves the front long and swept to the side a little. I think sometimes a particular style can help as you grow it into the style you really want... hope this makes sense.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Ugh. I hate growing out my hair, and absolutely I agree that what works with a short style does not work with longer ones. The whole proportion changes somehow. Necklines, details, everything.

I agree with what Deb says -- a consult and maybe a trim. Something needs to be done to get you through this!!

How are your feet doing now?

krishnidoux

Veteran

Thanks for your responses!

Runcarla, I think you pinpointed something important, that is growing older, and changing face/hair shape. The cut you describe sounds very cute though.

Rabbit, sorry for your mishap. Maybe you can go see a stylist to fix it? One thing is worse than the wrong haircut: the wrong color...

Torontogirl, you've nailed it. A disjointedness between hair and clothes style is what is happening.

Deborah, thanks for this advice, it is a very wise one. I actually had a re-balancing haircut just 2 weeks ago by an excellent stylist. She removed a minimum, but gave shape to the thing I had which was even worse than now. And although she did a wonderful job, I still need to grow it! So all I can do for now is bite the bullet and wait.

Suz, perfect description of the issue: everything is out of whack. And my feet! Oh, maybe they are also part of why I am having a hard time. Slowly but surely, they are getting better though. Wearing the soles and the Danskos have helped a lot.

Gigi

Veteran

I think the idea of a trim and a consult sounds great. When I have grown my hair out in the past, I still went in at my regular haircut intervals (6-8 weeks) to have things evened up and split ends cut off. It makes a big difference.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Karen O of the Yeah, Yeah, Yeah's had that haircut.
I think she's cool

http://www.google.com/search?q.....Dr4UobrCMS

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

When I first got my hair cut very short I felt completely out of whack too. My boyish clothes looked too boyish without some hair. Rather than change my clothes I let my hair grow but I didn't feel quite myself until then.

deb

Veteran

Three years ago I had a pixie cut. Actually, most of my adult life I had a pixie cut. But as I aged and my body shape changed and the face started falling and all the other things that go along with aging, I needed something very different. I decided to let it grow and I am glad I did. I am able to put it up if I get the notion for something short without actually going short. Learning how to style hair has been my biggest obstacle. Thank goodness for youtube and Pinterest.

Gaylene

Veteran

I think hair is a major component of one's style, so it's not surprising that you feel that everything is a bit off if you aren't thrilled about your current look.

Short of wearing a wig, or a hat, constantly, growing out a short cut takes a lot of gritting your teeth every time you see yourself in the mirror. While I admire people who can play around with their hair, I've never had the skill (or time!) to make that work for me, so I just settle for regular trims and keeping my hair looking healthy and shiny during the intermediate stages. I also found that being a bit more experimental and edgy with my outfits helped offset the dullness of less than stellar hair.

And I go out of my way to avoid reflective surfaces.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I find my clothes feel less edgy now that I have longer hair; it's a strange thing ...

Greyscale

Veteran

I went from all-one-length long hair to a subtle punk cut (big undercut on one side, otherwise long and curly) and I found myself feeling much more free to wear things that might otherwise look too basic. Like I have my "edge" built in now. Since it was the first time I'd cut my hair, it really surprised me how much it changed how I felt about my style.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Krishnidoux, here's a little styling advice that might help: abandon the styling mud/moulding paste and use hairspray. Layers of hairspray. Also a straightening iron. Styling mud only works on very very short hair. It's possible to add funkiness to just about any short to short-ish style with hairspray and a straightening iron. I can't explain how to do it, but when I do mine I don't usually straighten all of it -- just a piece here and there -- and I use the hairspray to add texture. It's also important to use a quality hairspray that doesn't get sticky, and that can be brushed out.

Worth a try, anyway.

SW Ann

Veteran

I can't make suggestions on what to actually do to "fix" your hair, but I really can relate.....for me, with short hair, an extra week without a trim makes me feel matronly, out of sorts, and just generally cranky and "not myself". ....I tried growing my own out a number of years ago, and finally called my hairdresser in tears and said "help!!!" She got me in that day in pity, and fixed it all. I haven't looked back and have kept a version of my short hair since.....Good luck!

krishnidoux

Veteran

Gigi, you are right. But the hair must grow meanwhile. But haven't you had the experience of going too often and having the agony unnecessarily last longer?

Annagybe, she is very beautiful with that hair. It is a good inspiration. Thanks!

Shevia, how long until you felt comfortable again?

Deb, you describe my own approach. I want to have hair your length. Did it take long?

Gaylene, thank you for your advice. I will remember to add some extra pep in what I wear, it might help in fact.

Greyscale, fascinating! I am curious. Did you find that it actually also changed the way you dressed or accessorized?

Aziraphale, thank you, that is excellent advice. Yes, I will start using more spray, as well as my flattening iron. As flattening ALL of my hair tends to make me look older or more tired, your advice of flattening only parts of it is timely. I will certainly try it tomorrow.

SW ann, believe me, I've had similar moments, and I think what saved me was our horrible weather which forced me to stay in. The solution might be to hibernate lol!

Stuti

Ditto.
I am growing my hair and keeping it curly.
Hair can make or break the deal for me. So it's huge step.
I can't wear plaid with my hair down just too busy (with curls) and also don't buy black n white tops. All the way solids (naturally black hair).
But pulled up looks so much better in both situations.
Can't help but just wanted to resonate you are not alone.

deb

Veteran

I had it cut in layers so as it grew it never too that growing out look like it did when it is all one length. I also grew my bangs out at the same time. It took about three years with regular cuts.

shiny

Veteran

YES.

It's bad enough, I can't properly judge an outfit if my hair is wet/ fresh out of the shower, or just rolled out of bed messy, or back in a headband. And my favorite time to shop is right after a hair appointment. When my hair grows out to a certain length, a lot of outfits just stop working. Particularly tops with collars.

If your hair is looking like pic 2, it's time to go and have a trim. Show the stylist pic 1 and your goal, and ask for an interim style to grow it out gracefully.

Do you like headbands?

What about flat irons -- the kind designed for short hair?

What about layered, piecey cuts?

What about some highlights to add dimension? Or a semi-permanent, edgy color?

Lyn D.

Veteran

My only advice is to stick with your goal and maybe still get it trimmed to keep its shape while it grows. This might take longer but at least you won't feel so much out of sorts.