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Hair help needed!

kate

(website)

My hair is in desperate need of help. Mostly I think I just need a really good cut ( it's been over a year), but am not sure what to do with it. I don't have a regular hairdresser and I always feel like they're playing it safe with their answers if I ask their opinion about styles for me.

My hair is naturally wavy, and had nice body and bounce in my former damp climate. Now I live where it's hot and dry and that's done a number on my hair--it's dull and limp, very little wave.
Add my well water, and my hair is a disaster, what used to be shiny, healthy hair is now a matted, unmanageable mess--breakage, split ends.. I can barely get a brush through it.

Here are a few examples of varying lengths on me, the last one is my current hair, front and back-- ugh... yes, I do know how bad it looks.
Best length? Best type of cut for shape of face?
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!! =)

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18 replies

Latest reply was from Mander

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I am a big fan of shorter hair, so maybe I am biased in saying I love #1. But as a fellow wavy hair person, I do think longer can be trickier - you need just the right amount of layers to work with your particular wave and thickness, and that can be tricky to get especially when you don't have a trusted hairstylist.

You seem to have a square face and a quick googling gave me a few suggestions for that shape. What about this Keira Knightly layered bob?

I wonder if the change in climate can be partly mitigated by the products you use? Hopefully someone with experience will chime in. I actually found that a move from a humid area to one less so helped my hair rather than made it worse.

kate

(website)

Thanks, that bob is cute- I think I've had something sort of similar to it, but no pictures. I've been trying to grow my hair out for so long that I hate to think of cutting it short. BUT, it's so damaged that cutting it off may be the only way to make it look decent again.

Sarah

Veteran

Wow! #1 is absolutely stunning! I also love your beautiful waves in #3. I wonder if your hair is long it pulls out the wave?

I just looked again. You are so radiant and your hair looks so fab in #3. Do that again!

shipskitty

Veteran

If it is damaged it won't matter how long you have been growing it - you'll never be happy with it. I've been down that route and honestly it can be such a relief to have it cut into a shorter style that actually looks nice and you don't have to fight with all the time.

If you know in your heart it is unmanageable - that isn't going to change unless you cut all the damage out. It might take a few cuts at the shorter length to do it but at least then you give yourself a sporting chance to grow it out properly if you still want to do it.

I really think the shorter styles you've shown here make you look younger and more energetic.

MINI

#2 or 4 looks fresher and naturally beautiful to me

JennyAnne

(website)

Veteran

I really like the medium length, between your chin and shoulders. Maybe with less length, the wave will come back. Definitely ask a stylist about products to help your hair. They might be shy at suggesting a big change in yoru cut, but I'm sure they'll be more than happy to help you buy some products.

Claudia

Veteran

Kate, I know you asked about hair style, but I wanted to recommend Wen for the condition of your hair. Friends and family have been using it for a while and kept urging me to try it. I was yeah, yeah, yeah infomercial blah, blah. My mother gave me a bottle a few months back and I am hooked. From the first use it will help your dry brittle hair look and feel so much better and over time it will help your hair become really healthy again.

Queen Mum

Veteran

I really like the length in #3 on you. Sounds like your biggest issue is finding a quality hairstylist who will take charge. Start asking women you see around town with styles and lengths that appeal to you who their hairdresser is. You might find a gem that way.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

You are beautiful and have a beautiful family!

I love the look of #1 or #3 and I think that chopping a good portion of it off will pay you dividends in every possible way. Good luck!

Anonymous

You have beautiful, healthy looking hair and a beautiful family as well!

I have the same kind of wavy/limp hair depending on the humidity, and I can totally feel your pain. Depending on the weather I could use two different haircuts. Just when I think I have it figured out for dry weather, our monsoon moisture front moves in for the summer. Ugh!

Now, about your 'do. Since your hair is so long, you could cut it in stages and see what you like along the way. I think it would look lovely medium length in layers with a side-swept bang. Your face shape looks round to me, so number 1 is not my favorite. The length in number three looks good but if you can find someone who will look at your face shape and angle your hair around it appropriately I think it would look stunning! If you don't like it, it would be easy to transition to a layered bob or even a cute shag.

crwilson

Veteran

Oh my goodness - you have gorgeous hair! From the way you described it, I expected some hideous, frizzy mess, and it's not that at all. I have partly wavy hair, and my goal is always to get it to look like yours (which is never does, so I straighten it). Anyway, I love the way that it looks in photo 3, and it would be a bridge point if you decide that you want to go shorter. I do have really thick hair too, and I'm never going back to long hair because it's just so heavy and high maintenance.

Elly

Veteran

1 is not my favorite on you-- I don't think it flatters your face shape-- which is between round and square-- both of which either need pixie short with some height, or some longer layers to soften the jawline and lengthen the face.

I prefer #2 and how your hair currently is. I can tell it is damaged though. Perhaps it would be better to go back to something like #2 or in-between and start fresh with hair care so you can decide in the future that you would like it long again without the damage. Getting it cut regularly is also important to this-- you have to trim it! Especially when it is long or you are growing it. I have what the hair dresser calls the healthiest hair on earth (we actually used to perm it to damage it on purpose, with little effect) and even I can't go a year without a trim without some negative effects. The dry tangliness gets worse and worse when you let the split ends just grow.

Amy

(website)

Veteran

Lucky you to have such thick and beautiful hair! My favorites are #1 and #3. That first photo is so lovely. I hope you have it framed.

Scarlet

Veteran

I like 3, 2, 1 the best, in that order. Man I hear you about water. The hard water where I live now is killing me.

kate

(website)

Thank you all, I posted and was then gone for a couple days, but did read and value each opinion!!

Seems like #3 has the most votes, and is a good compromise between leaving it long and chopping it all off.

Abi

I love #2 and #3. I have completley straight hair so have serious curl envy! I think shorter hair is generally easier to maintain when the climate is against you. But I have been trying to grow my hair long and swear by twice weekly hair masques to keep it hydrated...it doesn't grow more but less has to be chopped off each time I go for a trim.

Mander

(website)

Veteran

My hair is a lot like yours. I haven't found the magic bullet yet, but I've been going with a sort of modified "curly girl" method for the last few weeks and I think it looks a lot better than it has for the last few years. Although my style has been more or less the same for a long time (long layers with varying bangs lengths), this is kind of an advantage because even a cheap hair salon has a hard time messing it up.

Anyway, I've started using the "co-wash" method most of the time. Basically, find a cheap conditioner that you like (many people like to find one without any silicone products in it -- I think the White Rain brand is a favorite in the US) and use it to clean your hair rather than shampoo. I've started using a leave-in conditioner after this, sometimes with a little dab of alcohol-free gel.

Then the important bit: plopping. Spread your towel out on a flat surface (the toilet lid is usually convenient), "plop" your hair down with a bit of scrunch, and wrap your towel around your head so that your hair is piled on top of your head, rather than being wrapped in the towel. Some people use an old t-shirt or a microfiber towel, as apparently ordinary terrycloth encourages frizz. YMMV.

I tend to get better curls, rather than waves, this way. But somehow the resulting waves aren't as frizzy if I decide to brush the curls out once it's dry. If I do it the way I used to and use pin curls or pull my hair into a bun or twist to let it dry, it turns out frizzy. Makes no sense to me, but whatever works, right??

Mander

(website)

Veteran

Oh, the other thing you might try is a vinegar rinse. I don't actually do this myself but if you look on places like long hair care forums you will find tons of ideas and instructions.