Hair colour--thinking about going silver grey - YouLookFab Forum

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Hair colour--thinking about going silver grey

Patty

Veteran

I've been dying --really my husband has been doing the dying and I'm enjoying the scalp massage--my hair reddish and copper for a couple months now and am thinking about going silver /grey. My own hair is pretty grey 89% the rest kinda brownish/mousey--at almost 49 it's not a huge stretch but may look older-wrinkles have got the best of me. It'd be a nice transition back to grey but may decide to go some other colour later--I don't know--crazy lady blue wash??? LOL
Have any of you done the grey dye job before?
This will be a do it yourself ---I think I'll have to do a lightener first?
Still debating.

General

27 replies

Latest reply was from Astrid

MsMary

Veteran

I haven't done a gray dye job but I let my hair go naturally gray for several years in my 40s. Coincidentally, it was after I'd been red for some years but was tired of keeping it up (naturally gray hair + red dye = pink hair if you're not vigilant).

I decided to go back to blond one day when I was sitting in the dentist's waiting room, reading an article in a magazine about a woman who'd gone gray and written a book about it. There were photos in the article of women who dye and don't dye, and they'd all been photoshopped to show what they'd look like if they were gray (for the dyers) or if the dyed (for the ones who were sporting their natural gray). To my eye, every single one of them looked younger and prettier with the gray covered. I made an appointment with my colorist the minute I left the dentist's office, and I've never looked back!

Which is not to say you won't totally rock it. I'm just sharing my experience. And yes, I think you'd have to remove the existing color first. I'd go to a pro rather than do it myself, I think.

Here are my gray and blonde shots, BTW. YMMV.

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Sharon

Veteran

Haha, I read that book MaryK and thought the woman in the book looked amazing with grey hair. However, she did have a VERY good haircut, and I think the way she was dyeing it before was not very flattering.

I went "natural" a few years ago, but ended up salt-and-pepper which I think was aging. I now have my hair cut and colored regularly and it contributes massively to my overall feeling of fabness! I think if you want to go grey, you should definitely see a hairdresser to get you started, even if you plan to DIY after that.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Patty, I think it really depends on the person. I LOVE the look of grey hair and will welcome the change, but my hairdresser says I'm not ready; they like to see a certain proportion of silvery-whites to mousy brown/blondes because if you try to do it before then it won't be as flattering (in most cases). Some skin tones welcome grey more easily than others, I believe. Look at FAB going-grey YLF members Claire and Transcona Shannon (among others). They look wonderful and youthful!

Here's a great web site I found with inspirational pictures and stories: http://goinggraylookinggreat.com/

Patty

Veteran

Experiences are zactly what I'm after!!! I like whimsy but my foresight isn't 20/20 and my regrets are forever!
Mk--you mean you weren't hatched the fab you are??!!??!

MsMary

Veteran

Heh. Nope.

But keep that info under your hat, okay?

ETA the cool thing about hair and makeup is that regrets are NOT forever!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Mary K, you look stunning both ways! But I can see why you went back to blonde. Together with the weight loss it's a Business Bombshell package!

Parsley

Veteran

Patty, My understanding is that it's pretty hard to dye your hair gray. Most people I know have just let the dye grow out and then cut it short when the gray part gets long enough.

I read recently that Cindy Joseph, a model known for her beautiful gray hair, was talked into going blond for an advertising campaign, and has had a terrible time trying to get it back to gray again.

Mary, You look great both ways, but I do prefer you as a blonde.

Andrea B.

I bet you can tell how I feel about it! Let it go gray. Naturally And play with it. Sometimes, I get mine "lowlighted" with darker streaks, which is fun. There's a great book called "Going Gray, Looking Great" by Diana Lewis Jewell that is a great inspiration and teaches you how to transition and manage your silver.

taylor

Veteran

Parsley is right...you can't dye your hair grey unless you strip it (bleach it) and tone it with something in the silver family...VERY tricky to do at home.

Let it grow out naturally if you are determined to go grey. I think you would look lovely

Anonymous

My son in Japan just told me today that older women in Tokyo often have bright blue, purple, orange or other colors of dyed hair. He says this as he's looking at me via Google Chat with my silver hair. Somehow I don't think this would be as acceptable in suburban Kansas as it is in Tokyo but it sounds like fun.
Did anyone see What Not To Wear where the woman with growning out light pink hair ended up with fushia? It really looked great on her and fit her artist lifestyle.
Patty, if you go grey, go for a great haircut. It's easy to fall into witch hair or frumpy territory. I love not having to touch up roots with my natural color.

Lantana

Veteran

I think it depends on your skin. Mine looks best with the white hair that age has bestowed on me.

Patty

Veteran

I hear you Andrea--I was going to leave my hair go grey--even had an artsy skunk patch in bangs (for all of 6 months LOL) but then last Mother's Day I just decided I wanted to play with colour and that's why I went red--in for a penny in for a pound kinda thing and now I want to try another extreme I guess.
I did check out greying websites and did the research about greying/white hair--I believe it's how I got onto YLF too--but I find the grey/white texture needs bolstering and feels and behaves so much better with colour. My idea was to play with it until I'm completely white--which I figure outta be before I'm 50--51 tops. THEN it's crazy lady blue rinse time fer shur!!

Anonymous

Lantana makes good point about skin color. I feel that my grey hair looks a bit more youthful when I've got some color to my skin and often use a gentle self tanner for the face for a bit of glow.
Added: Patty, your grey hair may be a good texture. I know lots of women who have no problem with the texture. Since coloring hair seems to add body, you may have to use more product for volume if you don't color. I recently did a gel treatment that added body and shine without color. I don't know yet how long it will last but was pleased with the result.

Patty

Veteran

Joy and Lantana--yes I wonder about my skin colour. I think I've described myself here once as pasty white but I think I am more splotchy chicken fat yellow with a red nose and near invisible lip colour =+P. I am noticing this time around my roots are showing faster for some reason--growth spurt much??-- and it is getting a little old checking for roots.

ADD--Joy--Each white hair has a mind of it's own on me. It sticks in all directions and gets wonky bendy -it is hard wrangle --even my white eyelashes/brows do that. If there is a product that can make it feel and act normal again I'd love to know what it is!!! I don't mess with my hair on a good day --and I hope to keep up that routine =+)

MsMaven

Veteran

2 issues:

My husband is nutso about women who don't color gray hair.

Lucky for me my hair has been extremely slow to turn gray. My hairdresser says it's less than 20% gray now and I've been coloring it for 15 years. I'm tired of that, but it will look mousy if I let it grow out natural.

On the other hand, we've been exchanging Christmas cards for 45 years with a certain couple. They always send a photo because we seldom see them now. The wife always had long dark hair, but it was looking harsh against her skin the last few years. This year she had chopped off her hair into a cute bob and let it be silvery gray. Against her skin it looked fabulous and she looked 15 years younger. DH gagged when he saw her--he said she looked "old." Well, I replied, SHE IS OLD! But she looked great.

As other posters have said, it isn't an irreversible decision. Give it a try if you want.

Anonymous

Patty, I don't usually mess with my hair on a daily basis, but a flat iron helps smooth those frizzies. Whatever you do, DON'T pluck those white eyebrows! They don't always grow back and leave bald spots. Use an eyebrow brush to brush them striaght up, then trim the long ones with a nail scissors. I use a Mary Kay brow gel that goes on with something like a little mascara brush, but one could use a stiff hair gel and brush it on. It's amazing how long a brow hair can grow overnight.

Claudia

Veteran

It's good to know what kind of man repeller repels what kind of man. Another example of the dynamic balance and harmony in the universe.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

LOL, Claudia! I am sure there are men who would be equally repelled by older women (i.e. women over 45) with dyed hair. How "fake!" How mutton-dressed-as-lamb!

I forgot Andrea B and Lantana in my list of FAB YLF women with grey hair!! My apologies!! You both look amazing.

I think the texture of grey/white may take some getting used to, and I suspect it's hardest to handle when it's betwixt and between, Patty. So we're doomed for the next few years, in other words!

Anonymous

If you are teaching a child to drive or one starting to date, that hair will turn white real fast.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Chucking @ Joy.

I am VERY divided on this topic. I can't put it gently at all I'm afraid, ladies:

- some people pull off their grey hair with panache while others just look less attractive and older.

- Joy and Lantana look absolutely KILLER with their grey hair. So does Iris Arpfel. But look at how much better Mary looks with blonde hair!! Sorry to make you an example, Mary. But I know that you are on board with my assessment. Thanks for being a fabulous sport.

- Young gals are dying their hair grey as a fashion statement and it can look fabulously edgy. But with youth on their side, they get away with it.

I will very boldly say that most of the time up to a certain age, covering grey is the stylish solution, although some women look exquisite with grey hair when they are younger. However it is not the norm.

Anonymous

What a great thread! I'm so sorry I missed it yesterday. Patty, there is no denying that coloring your hair will make you look younger. And I think growing it out is the only way to get back to grey. Just the other day a young kid in a Vans store complimented me on my grey and mentioned that he wanted the same look and then found out that you really can't reproduce it from a bottle. Since growing out my hair is the most un-fun thing I've ever done, I haven't experimented with hair color since I grew it all out.

I am amazed at MaryK's before and afters! I LOVE the blonde MaryK and I wouldn't do a thing to change her! Part of me wants to color my grey, I can't lie! I can't afford to pay for really good color, so I figure my grey is better than what I was getting out of the box. My hair pulls red/brassy and with my skin tone this is a no-go. I would require a few processes I think.

The wirey grey hairs DO calm down eventually, I promise. I think you just have to be REALLY committed to getting there. Any wavering and you will run back to the pretty color. Maybe you will go grey eventually but you want to have a last hurrah with color and that's fine!

Going grey requires re-examining your wardrobe color palette, re-thinking prints, trends and anything "young". I feel that my grey hair is a strike against me, fashion-wise and that I have to work extra hard to look good in *spite* of it. I'm looking at a new hairstyle and it's so hard to envision them in the color grey. I will be asking help from the forum with this soon!

Good luck with whatever you decide. I'd love to see photos.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Claire! I forgot about you and my apologies! I guess I don't think of your hair as grey. It has a dark blonde tinge to it and looks more like the colour of a fresh Spring mushroom. Pretty

Anonymous

Angie, we must stop posting at the same time! Actually I just take a REALLY long time to compose and you post in the meantime, lol! I'm on the fence about if I would look better grey or colored, but thank you for your kind comment. I really appreciate it. I wanted to tick "taupe" for my haircolor on my profle, but not finding the box, I opted for grey/white. *sob* I must face the fact that I am at least 50/50 now. :/

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Claire- I love your hair and don't think that it ages you at all. I do think you're the exception rather than the rule, though.
I'm always fascinated by this topic, just because it's one that I don't yet deal with. I guess I'm trying to gather as much information as I can to help make a decision when the time comes. I always thought that I would let myself go naturally gray, but I am actually kind of looking forward to having an excuse to dye.

cciele

Veteran

I agree on some women, gray is aging. But it's empowering not to have to dye your hair all the time! I love to see the ladies here rock their silver tresses -- or taupe in the case of Claire :). But I started going gray in my 20s so having been dying my hair a long time, and don't foresee stopping anytime soon.

Claudia

Veteran

Oh, Claire, I sincerely LOVE your hair and think this natural coloring highly flatters you! It is lovely and refreshing that you haven't run out to dye and change it as is the more accepted norm in our culture. Please don't think that it is in any way unattractive because it is not. It was one of the first things I noticed and admired from a purely aesthetic point of view in your WIW posts.

Same with Lantana, Joy, and Andrea.

Sometimes it is better living through chemistry, and sometimes not! To each their own without judgment on this topic that is highly charged with cultural sexism and ageism.

Astrid

Veteran

I'm not sure what I would do. I think it would depend what kind of grey I would get. But I like certain grey or white hair with the right cut! My mum hasn't coloured her hair since going grey and I understand why she doesn't do it. She's not very interested in fashion at all and for her it would take simply too much time away from other things to take care of coulouring her roots on a regular basis.

My godmother on the other hand has had white hair with a little bit of grey in it (she'll be 60 years old this spring) since her mid 20s. She never coloured her hair, but always had a very short pixie cut. She's very stylish and it looks fantastic on her!