Hair color dilemma - YouLookFab Forum

Category

General

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Hair color dilemma

Susan

Hello ladies!
Firstly, let me wish you all a very happy and blessed New Year. In the past you have all been incredibly kind and helpful with any color or style dilemmas I have had. I recently posted about color analysis and clothing colors, and now I’m reaching out about hair color. All photos are makeup free, and in similar lighting at my kitchen window. I keep my hair very short, and I’ve spent the last few years going back and forth with my color, but always going back to black, my safety net. This year I would like to settle on something and really nail my look/style down. I’m 48, and have a new job after an 18 year job layoff, and would like to start over in every way. I’ve been coloring my hair since I was 14, but I am a dark brunette naturally. My hair has been anything from chocolate to soft black looking back at childhood photos. I have quite a bit of grey, and my hair is extremely thick, coarse and strong. All the grey in underneath. The photos have me in drapes because I was going through my wardrobe etc, so if you are able to ignore those, and also the tinted lip balm I have on in the lighter haired pics, that would be great. Also, I lightened my brows a bit for the lighter haired pics. I’m mainly concerned about which shade is kindest to my eyes and skin more than anything else. Your insights are always SO helpful.

Thank you in advance!!

This post has 8 photos. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

General

29 replies

Latest reply was from notsaf

Runcarla

Veteran

Would you consider growing out the colour and go with your natural hair colour, including the grey? I like your short pixie hairstyle. The black, and the warm brown both work, but I like the black just a smidge more. It would be fun to have a slash or two of an unexpected colour (like blue) as an under layer, and through the bang area.

Photos below for colour inspo only. I like your current hair style.

This post has 2 photos. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

Susan

Hi Runcarla!
Strangely enough, I’ve recently saved a couple of hair pics that are in a similar style to those pics. I usually cut it very short for the Summer and then grow it a bit. I like that longer side bang a lot. I would totally be open to panels of color. I’ve done red and blue before, but purple could be fun. Thank you for the compliment and input!

slim cat

Veteran

My friend from work went from coloring all black to softer dark brown with highlights in warm golden brown, reddish brown and almost magenta. I really liked that layered look ( less fan of flat color when coloring ) and I wonder if you are open to try something in that direction. Your hairdresser may have some ideas too. The short haircut looks good on you.

Susan

Thanks slim cat!
I’m open to anything with my hair except blonde, as it’s too much upkeep. That sounds really pretty, and I agree about not liking flat color. I know there are ways to color hair black with some dimension, but it’s not easy. I’m still trying to figure it all out.

Helena

Veteran

Susan, I understand brunette problems. It is so unforgiving when gray starts to appear (assuming you don't want to go gray, which I don't yet), not to mention stylists are often heavy-handed with the colour, so it can come out more severe than intended.

You are absolutely gorgeous and can wear extremely dark hair beautifully. That said, my personal experience is that once the gray starts, your 'natural' colour is actually a few shades lighter than your original natural colour - if that makes sense. My hair was super-dark brown and my roots still are (except the gray ones) - but if I colour my whole head that colour, it looks really harsh, so I've started taking it down a few shades when I colour - this reads more natural, even though it's actually not!

For you, I think maybe a medium-dark, rich neutral shade would look gorgeous and maybe follow a similar principle?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I'm with RunCarla. Let the grey come through and rock that longer pixie!

Cardiff girl

Veteran

You have great natural colouring and I suspect would look stunning with some grey in your hair but if you wanted to go in a different direction l agree with Runcarla,some flashes of burgundy/aubergine would look lovely.

missvee

Veteran

I’m with Toronto girl here - a rich dark brown rather than black. I don’t know about growing out the grey, but that’s probably my own reluctance coming through lol. Off topic - I can’t help but notice how fantastic you look in the burgundy and deep forest green drapes!

rachylou

Veteran

I think I like the almost black, but not quite, very dark brown. So French!

taylor

Veteran

How about adding dimension with some rich dark burgundy foils through out the front and crown ? Easy to maintain and the fade factor isn’t too bad compared to the more pinky based colors.

Susan

Torontogirl- Thank you for your kind compliments! I also am not ready to go grey, and I also feel that over saturated color can be a tough look to carry off, especially at my age. The texture of my hair has changed a lot too, which might also account for that. Your color suggestion makes perfect sense.

Angie- I’m SO honored that you, one of the most stylish women I’ve ever seen, took the time to comment. I’m not quite ready to let the grey take over yet, but the long pixie is definitely on my radar.

Cardiff girl- Lovely compliment, thank you! Those colors are right up my alley! Love wine tones in general.

Missvee- I’m definitely leaning towards the deeper browns. I absolutely love any and all burgundies/reds as well as deep greens, so that makes my heart happy that you think I wear them well.

Rachylou- Yes! Like a dark espresso perhaps? I would love to be a deep brunette Jean Seberg in Breathless.

Taylor- Great idea! Once my bangs grow out I think a burgundy panel at the front could be really cool.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Oh, Susan. My word! I'm blushing.

I like Taylor's idea of thick front burgundy highlights

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I think the main thing is to figure out if you want warmer and cooler colors. When I dyed my hair, it often went reddish which I didn't like. Based on the draping I would say cooler, but I am not so good at this!

Gigi

Veteran

I like the first few pics you posted best, with black hair. I like the cut.

Joy

Veteran

I like the idea of lightening the black a bit. If you are not ready for your natural grey, I like a dark brown with burgundy sections. My hair was once naturally very dark auburn. I have enjoyed the graying process as it looks softer and feels a bit like being blonde.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I like it best as in pic 5, but also not sure if that is because the colour of that drape suits you so well.
I would personally encourage going grey, but if not, I think I agree with Torontogirl that black may be too harsh.

BrieN

Veteran

I don’t know- I guess I like #6 but might choose the darker hair color while you’re young and can wear it. . You look amazing in every photo. I’d have to see photos of you with grey to know but can’t imagine that looking better than the photos you posted.

karen13

Veteran

You are lucky that you can’t go wrong with any of these shades - I like the black and and darkest cool browns best. If your lifestyle supports a streak of a rich cool burgundy I’d love yo see it. You rock the short pixie, so try the one Carla suggested - it’s easy to go back to short.

avicennia

Veteran

Hi Susan — When you are ready, I encourage you to consider letting the gray show. You and I have similar coloring, pixie cuts and are about the same age (I’m almost 47). We could almost be twins! Two years ago I decided to let my gray show and haven’t looked back at all — I get so many compliments, from men and women of all ages, I wish I’d done it sooner. I can’t tell if you have as much gray as I did, so you might consider asking your stylist if they think you’d look good. I’m attaching my first ever YLF photo (taken with my brother), for your reference. I understand that going gray is a big shift. It was hard for me before I did it, but afterwards I felt liberated from worrying about what color, if the color was too harsh, whether or not it looked natural, whether the roots were showing, etc. I honestly feel more youthful and vibrant than before. I owe a shout out to Shevia as she was an inspiration in going gray with confidence and style!

This post has 1 photo. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

Susan

I certainly didn’t expect this many responses, and such kind ones at that!
I don’t have enough grey to let it go just yet, and I’m not quite ready for that regardless. I still have a lot of very dark hair, especially in the back. That being said, Avicenna, your grey looks amazing! I love the cut too!
What I will say I do notice, is that I need far less makeup when my hair is black, than I do when it is lightened, even a bit. My roots are very cool toned, which presents a problem when my lightened hair grows a little. Also, I pull red when I lighten my hair. Fortunately I don’t have wrinkles etc just yet, so I suppose that gives me more options. Part of me feels that I should do something dramatic simply because my hair is so short, like a blue black etc, and once the grey overtakes me, start incorporating charcoal panels or something, to make it funky while I transition.
I’ve been playing with color since I was about 14, but my mum has never colored her hair, and it’s still black (with just a spattering of grey) at 83. Her dad’s hair was like that too. Just for kicks I posted a pic of her from behind (#3). She’ll love that! Also a couple of pics of my roots when I haven’t colored for awhile. Pic #1 and my passport pic from college were times when I left my hair alone for about a year or so. Pic#2 was a time I went blue black for kicks. I’m the worst selfie taker ever! Lol.
You ladies are the best!!

This post has 6 photos. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Gorgeous pictures of you (and your Mom)! My hair was dark like that when I was young but it started going grey early in my late 20s. I would dye it to cover it up, but as you say happens to you, it would pull red. The back is still pretty dark, but not like your Mom's!
You should not go grey until you want to if ever. I love your dramatically contrast and I say go with blue black while you still feel good with it.
(And special shout out to avicennia! Wow, your hair is gorgeous - I am humbled to think I inspired you. Great lipstick too!)

avicennia

Veteran

You know ladies, I just reread Susan’s post and even if she felt ready to go gray, I now sorry to say I wouldn’t suggest it. I’d missed the part about her going back to work at age 48. I’m super secure in my career as a tenured professor in academia —where a little gravitas doesn’t hurt. I’m petite, soft voiced, generally very upbeat, so the gray hair may actually be helpful career wise. Unfortunately, the work world is tough for women. So in your shoes Susan, I’d stick with coloring. That said, the darker colors started looking a bit harsh on me, as they seem to do in your photos (it could be the lighting). And that harshness might also read as aging. If you can swing it, I’d think about seeing a professional colorist. Shevia you were and are a fashion inspiration!

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Slightly off topic... but if women keep needing to colour their hair to look younger in the workplace, the issue keeps perpetuating. Not many men feel the need to do so. Nailing my ( grey) colours to the mast here!

Bijou

Veteran

Susan, I think you are lucky and able to wear any colour you choose. You look beautiful in all the photos you have posted.

In relation to colouring your hair before starting a new job, I would recommend not going for anything too different from the colour you interviewed with or your natural grey until you know what the dress code is at your workplace. Where I work (a highly conservative professional services firm), we are not allowed to have rainbow hair, we are required to keep it to shades that occur naturally. Many of the young girls push the envelope and it is not really enforced, however, for any newcomer, I would recommend staying within the strict firm dress code parameters until they know how liberal the rules really are.

Susan

Great insightful thoughts ladies. I have no issue with grey in or out of the workplace, it just doesn’t feel like me at this time. By the way Shevia, your hair is spectacular! JenniNZ, you also look wonderful with the grey, and I applaud you for embracing it. That being said, ageism in the workplace, for women especially, is rampant from what I’ve heard and seen. Fortunately I work in a creative field, where most anything goes appearance-wise, so I truly do have carte blanche for my hair. My biggest problem is that I like too many colors. I’ve always wanted to be a red head of some kind, but my skin doesn’t seem to support it. It tends to make me look like old cheese. Also the maintenance, yikes! I have access to some great stylists as I worked in that field for 18 years, but I greatly enjoy DIY color. I’ve learned a lot over the years, and feel like a mad scientist, lol. I need to settle on something and not be so impulsive with my color as it does take a toll. It’s just nailing things down. This is the year!!

Anonymous

The change of drape color could be a factor, but I think in #5 your skin and eyes look freshest.

Susan

Suntiger- Thank you! Jenni NZ said the same thing. Burgundy and that whole color spectrum are my favorite colors, so Yay!

So I stripped my hair entirely and started over. I figure I can build color up as I go if I decide to go darker. The 2 pics below are where my hair is now. A reddish brown shade that I’m on the fence about. I don’t know if red tones suit me as I can’t see myself objectively. Going darker gradually is not a problem. The other idea I’m contemplating is the link included. Going to a dark ash brown/black and as the grey takes over down the line, doing something funky with a charcoal. Any ideas or thoughts are ALWAYS welcome. Thanks again ladies!! https://pin.it/crve5urkkpybyf

This post has 2 photos. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

Helena

Veteran

Susan, I love this colour on you - I think your personal colouring seems neutral enough to wear a hair colour with a touch of warmth/reddishness - it seems very skintone-flattering to me, and a nice touch softer than the other colours you were wearing.

The colour you pinned would be cool but very statement; whereas your photos here are very natural. My personal bias is towards a natural look, but that is a matter of your personal style!

notsaf

Veteran

Ditto what TG said!