I had curly-ish hair but it was not nice, like yours. Mine was coarse and curly. I guess I spent about 1.5 years with having it in its natural state. People said it looked good, but I never truly thought it did. I am not somebody who needs smooth hair, but the combo of coarseness and curliness made it look like I just didn’t care.

So I’ve gone back to straightening it.

It’s funny: the first thing people said when i went back to work with straight hair was that I looked younger! (Looking younger is not something I desire, by the way.)

So anyway, YES, having curly hair changed what I wore. I started wearing looser styles, more “rough” styles like ripped jeans. I had more natural fabrics like linen and crunchy cotton (that looked a little rumpled on purpose).

I think the looser style with my looser hair was a good look actually.

But after that year and a half, I wanted a change, so switched back to straight hair. I feel prettier with straight hair, and I think it just adds a bit of polish. I don’t have polish in other areas (I don’t wear much makeup and really don’t like lipstick, and I also don’t do my nails) so it’s nice to have polished hair.

I feel better with a bit of polish. I’ve noticed this about my personality. So I have added a bit more polish to my clothing as well: no more knitwear that will pill! No more wrinkles in my clothing (I wear more synthetics). More figure flattery!

For me, I’m not sure hair is about self acceptance since it’s so easy to change. Learning to age gracefully is more more of a real self-acceptance challenge.

The only time my hair is straightened, is if I’ve had a cut and it is cold outside (maybe 4 times a year?). I find straight hair accentuates the vertical lines/wrinkles around my nose and mouth (marionette’s lines).

#1 blow dried and flat ironed
#2 air dried with a little curl product

Bee, I have written many times on this forum over the years about the ways in which I think curly hair (which I have) changes things. To me, t's harder to look chic in eyeglasses with curls than with sleek hair; it's harder to look chic with gray or salt-and-pepper hair when it's curly; it's harder to look chic in humid weather if you have curly hair, etc. Now, there are forum members who absolutely show me that these ideas are nonsense by looking fabulous in curly hair and glasses, curly hair that's gray, and so on.

So for that reason if no other, you're in a good place and welcome back!

Bee, I have very thick, frizzy, wavy and curly hair. It falls into more than lions mane territory when it’s long. It takes hours to dry. When I was a kid my mom couldn’t drag a comb or brush through it. She had no clue what to do, she has pin straight, thin hair. In middle school I wore it in French braids, or pulled back. I had swim practice twice a day and it was always wet. I did the expedient thing and cut it into a pixie. I kept it short for decades. I am growing it out now, and it is silvery grey, so I agree with April. I get tons of complements on my style and my longer hair. Also, I have 6-7 different glasses frames that I wear, rotating them with my outfit and the length of my hair makes no difference. It’s about the shape and proportion of my face. There are some excellent examples of style icons with long grey hair, none quite as curly or thick as mine, but they are still examples.....Linda Write, Linda Rodin, Sarah Harris. Look at Pinterest! You will see tons of models with thick curly hair salt and pepper hair. When I want my hair to look sleek, I pull it back. When I don’t, I keep it down. Also, the hair products they have now are amazing! My hair hardly frizzes, If you are doing the curly girl method and getting frizzy hair, I would consider switching your routine. I use a modified curly girl method....I love Ouidad Advanced Climate Control Heat &Humidity Gel, Extra Hold. I also use their Featherlight styling cream. Conditioners are interesting. I alternate between Joico K-Pak and Emollience Pre Treatment with Cupuacu Butter and Castor Oil. My hair seems to do best with some protein. The one other thing I do is to use Pronexa once a week. My hair is soft, curly, wavy, thick and shiny but controlled not frizzy.

My hair is cut in some layers which are long but it helps control its thickness which works well in warm weather when you don’t want all the extra insulation!

I could blow my hair dry, and use a flat iron, but it never stays straight and IMO looks best when left on its own. It never looks the same way twice. I accepted that years ago.

Bee, have you ever looked at the blog called Hair Romance? https://www.hairromance.com/
This lady does all sorts of braids and updos with her curly hair, and talks about styling products, etc. Lots of good inspiration there!
I don't really factor my hair into what I wear, but it's not statementy either- just brown, mid length, and a little wavy. I do use a flat iron or hot brush just to make it look a bit more intentional (read Not flip up at the bottom). It used to be much longer which suited me much better, but I have very hard water, so it won't grow nicely anymore.

You all are incredible. Thank you to everyone who responded with their experiences and tips. I'm still taking it all in, but this is like therapy, and I really feel encouraged to experiment a little and change things up. I've got such great feedback about my hair in my WIW post too, and I'm growing to the idea that I can make a curly haircut part of my signature style. I feel like I've been living in my own head for too long. Sharing that here and seeing how other people see me has really boosted my confidence and courage to try new things.

I have scheduled a haircut for next week and decided to let my stylist take the wheel. A lot of you have suggested experimenting with a new cut. I feel like I've been stuck too long in trying to hold on to the old aesthetic, and I think a fresh perspective will do me good. If I don't like it, then I'll know exactly what doesn't work for me for next time, but I can still move closer to figuring out what does. If I don't try, then I'll for sure never know! I'll make sure to post before and after.