Over the years I have figured out what works with my hair, rather than forcing it into a style. I can’t bear long prep routines and found my hair looks best below shoulder length to pull out the wave and with some layering for movement. I currently have a Pandemic self lob, which has helped with growing in the grey. However, my plan is to chop off the rest of the grey and then go back to the style that made the most of my hair texture. Do you have a cut in your past that you loved?

Ok, I’m very embarrassed to post these pictures since the quality is atrocious, I don’t have photos where my hair is in focus. Also, the state of it now...
#1 2009
#2 2016
#3 my son’s wedding in 2017, hair permed
#4 later in 2017
#5 & 6 2016
#7 & 8 January and February of this year, no haircut for 12 months
#9 hair color close up

#10 short bob in 2019

Irina, a dozen years ago, you were me? Both the hair and the style you describe sounds like mine now.

I assume my hair and clothes have similar styles, because both come from my same impulses. I prefer both a bit unkempt, fairly easy-going.

I think a bob is perfect for you now, but there are different kinds. You want one that’s kind of sharp and angular, not the kind that’s cut so it curls under by itself or stacked like Mary Lou Retton ca 1984.

What a great question! I'm very restless when it comes to my hair and like to play around with any variable I can control without dye/product/heat styling. Basically: length, bangs, part, layers, texture to a certain degree. I do a lot of chopping and growing out. Looking back at photos from five or six years ago, I think the hair that felt just right to me in the past would feel a bit too classic, crisp and controlled for my current style direction. (See side-by-side of Spring 2016 and today for comparison.)

I have pretty well-behaved hair that I can nudge in one direction or another, and I tend to like it better when I do less to it. I dislike overly styled looks and have no patience for "doing" my hair each day. I enjoy pixies but always let them get shaggy; the constant maintenance trims are too much for me. Similarly with blunt-cut bangs, I love them but get tired of maintaining them, so I end up taking lots of breaks from them and have gotten somewhat okay at the grow-out phase. All of this to say, my hair is probably more a reflection of my personality than anything else: I demand low-maintenance, but crave variety. Granted, those criteria drive how I dress as well. 

Your salt-and-pepper hair is really gorgeous, Irina (I'll be your twin in a few more years!). I could certainly picture you in a pixie if you wanted to go that direction, or with a shorter bob. You might ask your hairdresser about how to add a little edginess to a classic bob. Graduated in the back, undercut on the side or back, asymmetry, bangs...

You are beautiful, Irina! I really like your recent hair (pic 2-4). A tousled salt n pepper bob of sorts?

I am not much help with hair, but I do like the look of your hair in picture # 4. The long bangs are very flattering and frame your beautiful eyes so well.

I had extremely long hair to my waist in the sixties and seventies, hair to my shoulders and everything in between. I have had layers and blunt cuts. I don't colour my hair, but I had highlights a couple of times in the 90s. I regretted it. Why did I do that? I have no idea.

I prefer a low maintenance style. I have fine, straight, sometimes wavy, medium to thick hair. My hair is not as thick as it once was, and I have lost hair when I am sick or stressed. I use to have golden/strawberry blonde hair. I don't know what to call the colour now.

My hair does work with my style. I never really thought about it much. I like a minimalistic look. I would have hair like Stevie Nicks or Farrah Fawcett and wear more boho clothes in my fantasy life. But it does not work for me.

Picture #1 is my current hairstyle, and Picture #2 is the inspiration.

Stylefan, I love your hair! I always want to call it “strong” or “handsome”, hope you can see that those are very positive here.

FashIntern, yes, looks like I slowly changed my style in my mis forties.
LaPed, oh how I wished my hair was like yours or like Style Fan’s, which is so beautiful!

FT, I like the sound of strong, handsome hair. Thank you.
Thank you, Irina. Your features are so striking and beautiful that I think an angled bob would show them off. But I am not that great with hair. I have a hard time picturing styles on people.

I am drawn to #4 and #6 here--almost to your shoulders, a bit of soft layering, with your left side swooping elegantly over your eye. It looks chic to me, and seems to suit your face and style (based on my limited online knowledge of you!). Some iteration of that sort of thing, or does that seem boring to you at this stage in your evolution?

My hair is similar to Lisa P's.

I don't feel that hair dictates my clothing choices - I think my physique, face, and personality do.

Irina - 3 & 4 look especially stunning - keep the part offset from center by an inch or two.

FashIntern - I'm not speaking for Lisa on this one, but short hair on a female can, for some unenlightened people, signal that one is a Lesbian. That simple.

Irina, you are beautiful -- and so is your hair! I like the cool greys coming in.

I really love the look of #4, but perhaps it is softer than you wish now? I'm not sure it would be, with the architectural clothes and simple accessories.

To all who likes #4 - I probably should not include this photo together with #3, although these used to be my favorites. I permed my hair for the wedding, did not want to fuss about it during such an important event.
I will not do it again - the perm solution lighten my hair considerably and I had to grow it out. It also looks too soft for me now.
I should get a blunt bob, I think. I have to decide on the length, though.

This thread has me wanting new hair . Grr.

And ....after reading Sloper’s comment I choked on my salad laughing. I won’t say another word about it - although I wasn’t going to answer that question anyways .

6 is very good but 2 is my favorite. It's the perfect balance between flattering and easy care, as in no styling product necessary, which looks very modern to me and suited to any style of dress.

Irina! How LOVELY to see your face and soulful eyes! Beautiful.

More love for the movement in #4. Soft and layered - and I just read that you're not into that anymore! I bet you can flat iron it for a change too. I like #9 next. Angled and layered. Side swept fringe.

Well I have long hair which I was flat-ironing for a while. I was more comfortable wearing more casual clothes (like leggings and sweatshirts) with flat-ironed hair. It’s like I could get away with it.

When I don’t flat-iron, my hair looks like Jenn’s. I feel like I need to wear “real” clothes to achieve a minimum level of polish.

I love talking about hair - although I am lazy when it comes to my own.

I have switched hairstyles and colours a fair bit from platinum to a chestnut brown, pixie style to past my shoulders, and most things in between. I have settled on mid length for the moment because when I am long I just tie it up all the time, and whilst I like it shorter, currently it goes a very dark blonde/mousey colour that I don't like on me.... and colouring whilst short is hard if you want to go lighter (as I do). Mid length seems to suit my face shape too but I like texture, volume, choppiness, and a relaxed style because this suits my personality. When my hair is short I wear more traditionally feminine clothes and when it is long I lean into more adrogynous looks - I like the contrast and juxtoposition.

For you - with your lovely soft edged minimal look I can see a variety of styles working. I am no kibbe expert but I think you would be a soft dramatic or more probably a dramatic classic? I think some edge in your style would suit but do think bobs can be classic, edgy or natural looking. Deborah (from Australia) on the forum has a great style that might suit you. Your hair looks shiny and as if it will hang well which can really help with good cutting.

Thank you all for your support and kind words! I will post an update in 6 weeks or so.
Sal, I’m not into kibbe much but I’m gamine soft or something like that.

Sorry I missed the pictures- but it looks like beautiful eyes and soft wavy hair ( going by description ). I’ll wait for results with patience.

Wow, great thread. I am definitely in the camp with Suz and Angie and others that feel their hair is integral to their style. And my current non-statement cut does affect how I want to dress - both more pretty and more edgy. I missed your pictures but am following with interest.

Ohhhh it is such a struggle! I have “difficult” hair— thin, fine, and wavy to curly—so I tend to keep it short. And I actually prefer how super short feels— nice and clean and stripped down. I dislike the feeling of hair on my neck or face, and I hate looking down and seeing a loose hair that has fallen onto my shirt or something, it grosses me out to unreasonable levels!

However: how hair FEELS and how it LOOKS are two different things. I love the feel of a fresh buzz cut, but I don’t love how limiting it is in terms of style and how people make a lot of assumptions based on that haircut. I am also not really into minimalist looks, so there is a disconnect between the simple hair and the layered outfits.

Right now I’m trying to grow it out, to play with more options. But sometimes I just want to shave it all off again!

Hair - such a thing.

Mine is curly, which can be a blessing or a curse. Blessing side: it softens harder-edged outfits. Curse side: Boho lite can very quickly become Boho extreme, depending on your length and curl pattern.

Curls are messy so if you love messy, they're fab. If you love sleek, they can be a challenge.

My kibble is theatrical romantic, I find my best haircuts allow my hair to embrace its natural waves to provide some softness and drama. I am fine with a certain amount of daily styling.

Late to this, but what a great read.
Back in my 20s and 30s I tended to change my hair style every year of so...what ever was new or fresh, i was game to try. For me, it was easy and cheap (my hair is really thick and grows super fast) so i could change it up easier and faster than i could change up my wardrobe. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve got more conservative re my hair, and for the last couple of years, I’ve kept in chin length or longer. Honestly its in part because I haven’t seen anything that I really thought was worth trying or that looked really “now and wow”, the other part is that as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten lazier, and based on my straighter than straight hair, long is easier to take care of, its wash and wear with no product needed.