growing up, growing old and ruminations on syc/style

bj1111

it's been a stressful year at the bj household...major illness in a parent, job stress with hubby and career crossroads for me. this has had an interesting impact on which teams i play for...normally i bat for team save-for-special-occasion, team delayed-gratification, team buy-a-cheaper-version-of-an-expensive-style-but-not-be-totally-satisfied AND team never-pay-full-price.

over the past year, i've become freer with money, less regretful about purchasing something that i love and that makes me smile every time i wear it because it wasn't "on sale", wearing my "good stuff" just because, and splurging on items that i would wait years to get because i "haven't saved enough." no worries, the house is not in jeopardy. i have to say, i'm enjoying this part of the life/style journey, though i wish it didn't take so much stress to make me realize it.

any a-ha moments in your journeys?

ETA: not intended as a "woe-is-me" post...am interested in your own a-ha moments.

14 years ago

Shopping

10 replies

Latest reply was from bj1111

(website)

Veteran

This makes a lot of sense. Remember Shauntelle's fire earlier this year? The idea that waiting for a tomorrow that might not come to wear something hit home to me then.
My own little epiphany sounds downright stupid but . . . if it is not comfortable I won't wear it. This goes for the most obvious - shoes, but also dresses with tight bodices, skirts that constrict when I sit, jeans with too low rise, jackets with armholes too low that end up pulling across the upper arms.
In casual wear it's pretty obvious that things are/should be comfortable but once I start to get to dressier items I was finding the comfort factor going down. Hence, I wouldn't wear those items. But this year I thought very long and hard about any shoe over 3", am purging wovens that are tight on me, and bought comfortable dressy items for my wedding/funeral capsules, including a LBD that was all stretch jersey. I should mention my prior LBD is still hanging unworn in the closet after 3 years! It is strapless, with boning, and frankly not comfortable. But my new LBD has already seen its night on the town

14 years ago

Lynne

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Oh, BJ, I hope smoother sailing lies ahead for you! But yay for your style journey, it sounds fatastic. And yay for clothes that make you smile :).

14 years ago

bj1111

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snap, malina...i think i still have to learn this lesson. my pinkie toe is numb from trying to break in a pair of patent pumps two sizes two small but oh so darling.

14 years ago

kimlee

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While I am sorry that troublesome times were the reason for your ephinany, I am happy to hear that you are enjoying this new chapter in your style journey.

14 years ago

Ginny

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Since joining YLF i have small little moments where I realize , like you said, where the good stuff now, and even if I have no particular agenda for a day I will dress as tho I do and I feel better and am always ready whne something pops up and on my agenda for the day, which happens alot. I have tried to purge stuff I keep skipping over in my closet because of comfort issues but I need to actually do it instead of think about it. Lookie there something now on the agenda tomorrow!! lol

14 years ago

catgirl

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Thanks for sharing these thoughts with us. I'm sorry to hear things have been rough, but sometimes those rocky times do provide insight into what matters. I too find that as I get older, I'm less inclined to wait and agonize over purchases, and also less likely to be so attached to something that I won't use it for fear of ruining it. I've taken my Coach bag camping!

Not necessarily a style "aha" moment, but I remember reading an article about by a woman whose best friend had just died of cancer. Afterward, they found all these beautiful blank journals she had saved, waiting for something special enough to "taint" them with writing in them. All the writer could think was how nice it would have been for her friend to have USED those journal, and the writer vowed to start using all the "good" stuff she was saving (dishes, clothes, wrapping paper).

At the same time, I find my son gets all excited when we take out the "good" plates because he appreciates the ceremony of a special occasion. Now we just try to create more excuses for special occasions!

14 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

Hehe... I have to tell y'all... my being a magpie pack rat has paid off. I've discovered, now that I have to shop my closet, it's a pretty good shop!

I was brought up to it's okay to spend on nice things - buy what you love and use it. I believe in that. It's interesting about special dishes, though. There's something to that reservation for occasions. We always used the dishes and silverware - but my mum's crystal wine glasses, now those only came out for holidays and large dinner parties.

14 years ago

rae

(website)

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Like the others, I'm sorry your epiphany didn't come in a more happy package, but it sounds like a wonderful epiphany all the same.

Mine is very similar, actually. I always hated investing time, effort, or money in my work wardrobe because, as a temp, I knew my job could end without benefits or notice. Getting a permanent job made me realize that life is too short to dress like someone else at work - I think a fellow YLF-er even posted that on one of my threads. It was to the point where I was already planning an exit strategy from restrictive-dress-code job industries. If it came down to it, being myself would have been more important.

14 years ago

judy

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I had an epiphany once about price and possibility. I used to have a figure in my head that was "affordable" and didn't even entertain the possibility of spending more than that. "I can't afford it", I thought. But then I realized in hindsight that if I added up all that I had spent over a few month period, I actually HAD spent that much, and even more, just on more items. Did I really need all those items more than the one? No, sadly, I did not. I saw that I could have let myself have that one really precious item. When I saw that a light went on in my mind.

14 years ago

bj1111

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thanks for your best wishes...though the intention of this post really was to put into words my style journey. how i shop/dress is wrapped up in politics and finance and family. writing it down crystallized some of these ideas.

@ rae, that's very strong of you to put your needs first over a job that would not let you be "you".

@ rachylou, we're the other way at chez bj. our wedding crystal comes out at the drop of a hat--even with paper plates. our dishes, not so much.

@una, i love the ceremony associated with special objects. makes using them lots more special.

14 years ago

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