Growing out my pixie somewhat? - YouLookFab Forum

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Growing out my pixie somewhat?

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Hi everyone, my last pixie was so short ( and the one before almost as short) that it has lasted a long time and I have been vacillating for a few weeks about taking advantage of now 12 weeks growth. Then suddenly we are meeting some old friends tonight for dinner and it feels a mess. I had Googled how to grow out a pixie and most of the advice suggests cutting the bottom edge short while letting the top layers grow a bit. I have had various iterations of my pixie for over 20 years since 1995, I was 34 then and now I'm 56, so the idea is scary, but I have been bored for a while. I have attached some inspo photos for your thoughts and when onto my phone will add the last 2 cuts so you can see, one from May and one from July.Also how it looked recently. I am printing the 6 inspo photos for the hairdresser. If it just looks a bit tidier for tonight I'll be happy. My old friend is much slimmer than me and she dyes her hair blonde. When we were university students I was slimmer and perhaps a bit more fashionable than her. Now the tables have turned because she exercises quite a lot and her husband is a mad keen mountain biker. My husband and I are a bit more of lazy slobs! I do not want to dye my hair but I know it makes me look older being grey and I can sometimes feel a little inadequate in the presence of those the same age but slimmer and with dyed hair. Depends if they do it well and how wrinkly they are! I still have fairly smooth skin. (Sorry my vain or mean qualities are coming out a bit here. Those are absolutely kept in check during the work week and my kind side manages to be dominant, but vain/mean is in there somewhere.) Thoughts? Cheers Jenni
ETA: I have a fear of looking like an "old lady with fluffy grey hair" and also with it longer it looks a lot like my mother's which is also scary. Our relationship was a little fraught because Mum was strict and critical and could be quite hurtful. It is odd to sort of see her in the mirror. And I can have a judgemental streak. But I feel if I don't use this 3 months of growth I will have to think about this all over again in about November.

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46 replies

Latest reply was from tulle

anchie

Veteran

Is your hair wavy? All this examples are very nice but have plenty of curls and waves. Is your hair the same texture?

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Thanks Anchie, I have been on my phone now and added my hair from last weekend, it is pretty curly when longer and goes fluffy?

anchie

Veteran

I see now. Why not? I think it will look nice on you, and you are not too far from the first example. And change can be good too. But you will have some awkward phases and you have to be patient and stay strong through it.

Emily K

(website)

Veteran

Whatever you choose, I think "next-level" hair products/tools will be a boon for you. I've had pixie cuts on and off again for 30 years and recently cropped a bit shorter. I really (really, really, really) did not want my hair to look like "old lady convenience hair" so I went online to see different examples of how to style a pixie cut. I learned so much about hair products! Some were categories of product that I already use but I learned a lot about how different brands achieve different effects. I use a thermal protectant, a gel, a styling wax type product to create piecey-ness, (or something to dirty the hair and make it sticky and texture-y) and a bit of hair spray. It is amazing what different results you can achieve with different products.

The other thing that was a game changer is my flat iron. I've got a fatter one (about and inch and a quarter wide) that I used when my hair was longer and I just bought a little, tiny half inch wide model for getting into the shorter hairs around the edges, now that my hair is much shorter. If your hair is coarse and poofy, flat ironing it will really help. And it's not only used for making hair flat, I use mine for making very directed waves and curls.

Both flat iron and good products will also aid your transition to longer hair, if that's what you choose to do.

Style Fan

Veteran

I like the inspiration photos that you have picked Jenni. You have very pretty eyes and lovely skin. I think you will suit longer hair.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Thank you Emily and Style Fan!

Anonymous

I like 1 and 6 the best of your inspiration photos. The longer, wavy-er styles might look messy and I think they might look fussy on you rather than carefree.

Emily K is so right about product making a difference and I think that if your current hair had a little more definition and not just volume I would already prefer it to the pixie.

I empathize with your frustration, it's hard to find just the right balance, and navigate between " too old" or "too young" but your hair color is very pretty and it'll be nice to see more of it!

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

Oh, I know just what you mean about looking in the mirror and seeing your mother. I think that's part of why I keep my hair longer. My mom always wore hers short, and I do look a lot like her... especially when I dye my hair darker.

I love the wavy/curly bob, and wore that style for a while. Products help a lot, but you don't need much---a simple curl cream (in more humid weather) or sea salt spray (most days) rubbed into wet hair is all I do. It sounds like you haven't had your hair longer since it went gray, though? If that's the case, you might want to stay open to new ideas as it grows out, since it's hard telling how the texture might have changed.

Also... rock your gray hair with confidence. You seem like an empathetic, intelligent woman, who's raised a lovely family while managing her own career. You earned that hair! (And we all have that vain, mean side that comes out occasionally... I wouldn't trust anyone who said they didn't.)

JAileen

Veteran

I have grey hair and I know it makes me look older, but I don't care. I might have old lady convenience hair! I've seen some women from the back and I think they must be 35 and then I see their faces, and it's a little incongruous, because they're actually in their 60s. In your examples, #4 looks like she's not old enough to have grey hair. For you, I think a curly bob would look nice. Here's one that isn't grey.

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Laura G

Veteran

I think Emily hit it on the head with her product suggestions. I have wavy hair. It looks great when it's individual little wavelets and awful when it just gets "big". My secret is not combing it. Wash it in the morning and then don't touch it till I wash it the next morning. Really. The uncombed-curls look is so much better than the fluffy look.

bridgie

Veteran

I think you would look nice with hair a little longer. I haven't read the post and answers thoroughly. Leaving very soon, but when I get back I will read all of them.

DonnaF

Veteran

I would start with hair product to take down the volume and fluff and give a piece-y look. Maybe even a long pixie would give you the change you seek.

There are so many hair products out there. Your hair stylist should be able to recommend what would work with your hair texture.

binkle

Veteran

I'm sending you big empathy waves across the Pacific Ocean. I can identify with much of what you say. I see my mom in the mirror quite often, with all the emotional mom baggage that that implies.

#1 would be very nice for you, I think. Soft waves off the face, some volume all around. And try new products as suggested above.

Maybe also try a different style of eyeglasses as you grow out your hair? Could be a fun change.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

It is true that some people see us as "older" when we are grey. (I just got asked for the first time if I wanted the seniors' discount the other day...and I am not a senior!) But hair dye can also age us, depending on colouring and complexion. For me, my grey hair makes a statement about who I am. I consider it a focal point and my goal is to play up its inherent drama. That is, to make it intentional. Not an afterthought or an inevitability (though of course it is the latter!) But a conscious style decision. So, what does that mean? What other choices does that entail? How can I highlight it with my fashion choices and with the cut? Those are the kinds of questions I ask myself. By asking those questions, I can put aside the self-doubts and comparisons to others. I am who I am.

It helps that I remember, about 20 years ago, a woman in my neighbourhood who went starkly white in a short period of time and wore her hair in an awesome pixie! She was in her mid 40s at that time and her sense of style blew me away. Role model!! I figure maybe I am a role model today to some other younger woman. I hope so.

I do think a good cut helps. Having worn my hair short for.a good portion of my life, I also know that when we are overdue for a cut or in the midst of a style evolution, that is the toughest time. It is so much easier to fall into negative comparisons with others and to doubt our own choices then. Regular upkeep of the hair -- especially if it is short! -- is key!

I like your hair short. Ultimately, I suspect a cut somewhere between the current hair and your ultra-short pixie might be ideal. But a wavy bob might also suit you so if you feel a yen for change, why not try to grow it? Speaking as someone who has grown out a pixie several times, I will say that you will need to get trims veryregularly or it will easily get out of hand. The growing out phase is no fun. The last time I grew out my own pixie, I got a kind of "shag" haircut which I quite liked for a while. Those recommendations you read about trimming the ends and leaving the rest are sensible (perhaps) for people with fine straight hair who want to grow it out into a straight bob. But my hair is *super* thick and cutting off the bottom only leads to my hair growing out rather than down...I end up looking like a brillo pad. Even 5 weeks of growth makes my pixie look like that and I have to go have it thinned. So each person is a bit different. I'd consult with your stylist on that.

And I think that is key. Find a really good hairstylist!! You might have to ask around and try someone new if wanting to grow it out -- you former stylist may be locked into one vision of you.

Emily K

(website)

Veteran

Seconding Suz. I've grown out pixies a couple of times and it was completely worth it to keep getting trims every 5 weeks in new transitional shapes--not that I really preferred any of those styles, but at least they did look like intentional hairstyles. (Four weeks between trims is my standard when the style is pixie or my head will begin to look like a pompom.)

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Thank you EVERYONE. You are all so kind. I have done it- different stylist this time, very empathetic. Will reply more later but going out to look at household items with DH now.

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SusanBe

I can't help with any tips growing out a pixie cut, but I think grey and silver hair can look stunning (just like, brown, red, blonde...). I have said as much to several women who rock grey and silver hair at any age. As Suz mentions, a good cut is key for it being chic and intentional. My hair stylist recommended a purple shampoo to me for keeping my tones cool and not yellow or brassy. http://www.pravana.com/hair-ca.....ampoo.html I just have to be careful not to leave it in too long or risk a purple hue!

SusanBe

And I should also say that I only use the purple shampoo once a week!

DonnaF

Veteran

Excellent!!! Who would have thought that a style not really hugely different would take off 10 or 15 years?!? Your friend will be envious.

Another thought: Earrings won't show up as much with a bob. How do you feel about that?

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Jenn and Binkle, such lovely words! Made me cry a little. I am feeling better with it looking tidier and less fluffy now and DH immediately said " Nice cut, not too short". I will try to go often enough to keep it tidy if I am continuing to grow the top more, Suz. I have also been asked twice now if I have a Gold Card, Suz, which one gets at 65. The first time was last year when I was 55 and the second time quite recently when 56. And someone once thought I was my best friend's mother. That hurt, I am 4.5 years older but she is tall and slim with long brown hair. Mostly I accept these things pretty happily but I do feel inadequate at times. Comparison is the enemy of contentment I know and overall I feel more content than I used to.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Thanks Donna. I do like my earrings, it's true. I think I may cross that bridge when I come to it, if I do. At least I feel better for tonight.

Bijou

Veteran

Jenni, you look lovely with your new haircut and you are a kind and intelligent woman, someone that I admire very much. As Jenn said, we all can't help but compare ourselves to others from time to time. Your honesty is refreshing. However, in a former job I used to work with a number of very rich, thin and glamorous women and I can honestly say that they were the most insecure people I have ever met. There is much to be said for keeping it real.

Style Fan

Veteran

I like the new style a lot. You seem like a lovely person to me who is very honest and genuine. I agree with Jenn that everyone has "mean/vain" parts of themselves. It is refreshing to hear someone acknowledge that about themselves.

Anonymous

Wow, that looks great! Amazing what a difference a little shaping can make! I so prefer this longer hair on you and I love your lipstick too. You look so pretty!

JAileen

Veteran

Jenni, you look great!

As I said, my grey hair makes me look older (my grey is nearly white, unlike yours), and men who are my father's age think I look good for an old lady and hit on me from time to time. Ick!

Years ago I worked at a place which was nearly all women, and who I thought looked fabulous (I'm not making this up - we had two former beauty queens). They would come to our desks and comment on our new hair, new outfits, etc. The comments were always nice, though. I've never worked at such a weird place.

I don't think you're mean or vain, just honest. And thank you for that!

Emily K

(website)

Veteran

Wow. I'd noted that you had an impending event, but didn't recall that it was same day! You had to act fast! Nice job with the trim. It's hard to avoid the comparison-monster and I'm glad that you didn't let it get in the way of enjoying your friend's visit. It sounds like you didn't have anything to worry about, anyway.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

You have GORGEOUS hair, Jenni. And I'm glad to see that you're growing it out. Show it off.

FWIW, I think you should keep it short, but with a LOT more hair in front. It will need styling and product daily - no wash and go.

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Jenni NZ

Veteran

Yes Emily the dinner had 2 days notice, she texted me Thursday morning and Thurs/Fri were 10 hour days. I had been planning my post for a week to ask you all and had already saved the inspo photos. Suddenly had to make it urgent. Thank you Angie, maybe you can tell I've been a wash-and-go girl all these years ?! If I spent less time reading the blog and forum every morning I might have more time for my hair?!

Sal

Veteran

Very late to this thread. I like your new cut and do - you look great.

I think if you want a change then go for it - going back to a pixie cut is easy so the hard part is growing it.

It is always easier to go with a style that suits your natural hair - colour, curl, shape etc Curls and wave can be so unpredictable that they can be a bit of work - and whether you want to put that in or not.

I am not sure what decision I will make as grey/white takes over my hair - I do love seeing the gorgeous grey styles on the forum as inspiration though.

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