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Gray hair & clothes color advice needed

MsMaven

Veteran

I've been transitioning to whatever my natural hair color is for the last 18 months. I considered a pixie, but don't feel right with short hair, so it wasn't until a couple of weeks ago that the last of the original dyed color came off my bob. From the front I still look blonde, although a grayer blonde. I'm now getting blonde highlights every 3 months.

A lot of my hair still looks blondish because I had some lowlights for a while. So my natural hair color eventually will be a darker gray than I had imagined at the start of this adventure.

Now to the point of this post: I think I need to change some of my colors. I've always gravitated to warmer colors, but now I'm actually buying some tops in gray, and I never much like gray. My eyes still look brown from a few feet away, but they are a lighter, almost hazel brown.

I'd like for some input from those of you who have transitioned to gray. Did you change your neutral colors or you basic palette? Did you find there were colors you didn't want to wear anymore, or colors that you wouldn't wear much before that now you like?

I don't want to spend money on spring clothes until I figure this out.

So, here's my hair at Thanksgiving and the next one is my hair today, outside in the shade.

#3 is my high class shopping bag cat, Sharkie. (That's his pal, Jett in my thumbnail photo.)

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Dressing

23 replies

Latest reply was from MsMaven

crutcher

Veteran

Can't really comment on transitioning to gray...I have lighter colored highlights that blend with my hair...I wish you luck as you try this...

Elle

Veteran

My hair is about 70% gray now I have had to make some color adjustments. Part of the reason was that my skin also became paler. I now wear more clear jewel colors, charcoal gray (which I never wore before) and although I still like black, I don't like it near my face (scoopnecks are good). I rarely wear pastels or whites anymore since I don't like the look of all light on top (hair plus top) with my mostly dark bottoms. Since I originally had dark hair, I have to bookend differently (gray shoes, gray purse sometimes work).

I would try draping different colors near your face to see what works with your new hair color. You also may need to change your lipstick or other make up colors. I like berry lipstick with gray hair but that's just me.....

Good luck

Gaylene

Veteran

Well, I'm just letting my hair do its thing because I've never colored (yep, my stylist refers me as the one with "virgin" hair, which cracks me up every time she does that), and I figure it would just be too much hassle to start in my mid sixties. I was always a true Winter, but with the mix of grey, silver, and brunette that I'm currently sporting, I'm finding that colors that formerly were a definite NO are now becoming Maybes, or even Who-Would-Have-Thoughts.

Greys are becoming much friendlier, browns and olives are actually quite good, and a toffee sweater I tried on earlier this year, which would have made me look corpse-like a few years ago, actually didn't look that bad--not great, but certainly wearable.

All this is making me realize that it's really hard to generalize about what colors will work these days. It seems that my lower contrast now lets me wear deeper warm colours and shades of grey while some of my former Winter favorites like emerald green and ruby red look garish; fortunately my fall-back colors like cobalt blue and purple continue to work--and black, especially at night, is still OK. Pastels and creams, which have always been horrendous on me, continue to do me no favors, but who knows a few years from now...

My advice is to try everything before you settle on a new palette--and prepare for a few surprises and shocks along the way.

DonnaF

Veteran

My hair used to slightly brownish (vs. bluish) black. It is now rather charcoal gray and lighter at the temples. When I had my colors *done* back in the '80s, I was told that as my hair grayed, I could wear basically the same colors but in a lighter hue. I guess that is mostly true. Black is harder to wear, but charcoal looks pretty good, and black'n'white and black'n'cream prints look even better. Black footwear no longer feels like a bookend; I want off-black, charcoal, or gray. I've never been able to wear intense jewel colors because I'm not fair skinned, and now those colors wear me even more.

I haven't noticed any change in eye color or skin color since reaching adulthood, but maybe I'm missing something?

You will probably have to experiment around a bit as to what colors and neutrals suit you best, and then figure you will have to revisit the process every few years as your hair changes. What an excuse for new clothes!

Welcome to the new adventure.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I don't have any great suggestions, but I just want to say that your hair looks gorgeous! Maybe you can take some inspiration from Joy? Also Caro, who is a soft autumn with grey hair.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I am useless as far as advice goes, but I just had to say that your color looks really nice growing out. I kind of envy blondes, who have a way less shocking change as their hair goes grey-silver.

I know that someday it's going to be a much less graceful transition for me, going from dark to whatever is under there on my head.

Vicki

(website)

Veteran

You've got a lovely style and the blonde is transitioning well with your desire stay with some of the grey. I'm at a similar place and wondering how my blonde highlights can play nicely with the incoming grey. I'll be watching this thread. I adore your stylish kitty!

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Your current hair looks great to me - how do you feel with it? I think we are all so different that it is hard to generalise. It took me some time to figure it out & I had my colours re-done to see if my hunches were right, which they were.

I did change my colours - I am a warm season (soft autumn) but on the very neutral side so I have a lot of summer influence. This neutral quality is even more evident since my hair went grey. I don't wear the camel/browns of my palette so much now & have switched to more of the greeny-greys & olives. I still love the pinks, turquoises & denim blues.

One thing I found when I was transitioning was that blonde highlights looked far worse than the grey on me. While I had highlights I couldn't find ANY colours that worked for me. Under the old 4 Season colour "rules" I should not grey well but I love it & it really works with my warmer skin tones.

Your cats are gorgeous

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Your hair looks terrific! Transitioning from blonde to grey is a whole other beast than going from dark hair to light, or something in the middle, which is where I am now. I do find that I like lighter less saturated colors better now - this may be a skin rather than hair thing. At first I stopped wearing browns but I have started wearing camel shades again. As with most of fashion, there is no end game really - it is all process.

shipskitty

Veteran

Can't help with the hair colour vs wardrobe palatte but just wanted to chime in that your cats are adorable

Dimity

I'm finding that colours are changing for me too. I think I need to have clear colours more now. IntoMind has a very detailed discussion of colour analysis here. I find it helps to talk it through with a friend.

Summer

Veteran

Your hair is a beautiful colour, a nice mix of blonde and silver. It's always easier transitioning when you are naturally lighter haired.

I've been experimenting with my greying, highlighted colour for about two years now, and have decided to carry on with the highlights for now, at least during the winter, when my skin is pale ( I'm naturally dark ash blonde, so I have cool colouring).

As you are warm , I will leave any advice to others with similar colouring, such as Caro.

By the way, I am only seeing one (beautiful) cat - is it me?

Olivegreen

Transitioned to a bright silver bob with some natural dark brown still in, and like you, lighter hazel eye color and paler, pinker skin.
Noticed that medium strength versions of the stronger neutrals I used to wear suit best. So instead of chocolate brown, sort of biscuit.
From black to navy blue, and light blue works well.
Bookending with light brown and taupe rather than dark browns.
Khakis and grieges are friends.
Can still do crisp white, which lifts and brightens any outfit.
Fluorescent pastels look good with whiter hair! And for the first time, can wear those pinks and turquoises, lilacs. Great for scarves and accents, bit of pattern next to face.
Odd thing is that gold metal is now a better skin match than silver. That was surprising.
Sort of fun, changing. Now if the waist would stop moving around.....

Thirkellgirl

Veteran

As I've hit the 30%-grey point, I've discovered that grey (charcoal and lighter grey) looks very flattering on me. When my hair was darker (it's always been a sort of mahogany color, getting much redder after time in the sun) grey did absolutely nothing for me at all. I dug out a dark teal scarf (not a clear color, more of a muddied color) that was a gift and every time I wear it I get a TON of compliments. On the other hand, the clear colors like pink and red and lighter aqua that I have always worn really don't do much for me at all anymore. I found a pair of rose-gold hoops before Christmas and although I've worn only silver for a couple decades, they are extremely flattering. It's been fun to try colors I wouldn't have worn before I let the grey take over in the front (there's really none in the back at all). Plum, jade, burgundy, and dark teal, instead of hot pink, clear blue, and clear coral red.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I have a fair amount of silver-gray in my blonde hair - maybe as much as 40-50% now, but it is hard for me to say. I haven't highlighted in at least a year or maybe two at this point. My skin is fairly warm but I do have pink and rose undertones and not really coral (coral blush doesn't work for me).

I don't love deep warm rust tones or any green with yellow in it. I don't like coral or orange on myself at all. Olives have become trickier for me and only the more muted gray olives are preferred. I also prefer ruby reds or wine reds and plums to warmer reds (but I think I've always preferred those). I do wear charcoal gray and prefer the deep tones of navy, emerald, deep chocolate, some mid tone gray taupes and I still like black. I will wear true white or off white - both seem fine with a slight preference to off white (but never a yellowish ivory white). I like a mid-tone chambray shirt.

That nearly covers my wardrobe colors. Overall, I don't think I've changed all that much (yet). If I go completely silver-gray, maybe I will need to revise.

Anonymous

It looks like I lost a long post :(. My hair was naturally a shade of taupey blond for a few years before going more silver grey. Your colors will definitely keep changing. I read recently that one's natural color gets cooler as they age. I'm not sure that holds true but I did enjoy wearing black for the first time as a "blonde". Jewel tones or greyed colors no longer worked but clear mid tones do/did. Grey can be many shades including warm or clear. Grey is now probably my best neutral now unless it is a cool grey. Charcoal and silvery greys are worth trying. The inbetween shades are more tricky. Try coral and Aqua. With your brown eyes, many shades of brown probably work. Beiges and taupes are trial and error but will be working better. Whites are complicated. There are many shades from warm cream and ivory to cooler stone and very light grey. Optic white is a bright but a youthful color...less old lady than ivory. I like it best on the bottom...skirt, jeans...rather than next to my face.

gradfashionista

(website)

Veteran

Can't speak for myself, but my mother went from grey/silver to highlighting parts of her hair a light auburn, i.e. a lighter shade than her hair is originally. I think it gives her more leeway with clothing colours, and would add that she looks best when she doesn't stray to far from the grey. With your colouring, I might try low contrast, and pastels because they would work with both dyed hair and your natural colour.

MsMaven

Veteran

Sorry I didn't get back until now. I was worn out yesterday and couldn't stand looking at the monitor any more.

Thank you all for your cumulative wisdom. It seems to boil down to this: it is a process and you have to keep experimenting.

Gaylene hit on something that has bothered me--I used to be medium contrast and now I am low contrast and it feels like I have lost something. When I put on a higher contrast top and bottom it doesn't feel right, but when I do low contrast I feel that I have somehow faded away.

I used to have a lot of red in my hair, and now that I can see some of the natural color again it surprises me to see the reddish and even brown tones seem to be gone. My hair is just dark--sort of "storm gray"--the same color as my car.

texstyle: I've lost my love for orange and peach shades, except for flowers, but I can't stand wearing them. Other colors I used to like to wear but won't now are reds and teal. And oatmeal, although my beige and oatmeal sweaters are fine with a colored scarf.

Recently I realized I don't have any black shoes any more because I haven't bought any for ages. I have some charcoal and gray--I've been drawn to this color lately without realizing I'm working on bookending.

Also, I used to only wear gold-toned jewelry, preferably matte, now I can wear both!

Summer, the cat in my thumbnail is Jett. She has round green eyes and Sharkie has half mast yellowish eyes. I had to put different colored collars on them when I got them as kittens.

I'm going to ponder all your ideas for a while and do some experimenting. I do know that colors that "should" look good on me sometimes just don't make me feel right.

Summer

Veteran

I know what you mean about fading into the background in low contrast colours. I find I need a mid-tone to avoid that washed-out look.

Anonymous

I have had to move to low or medium contrast outfit and even prints, although your brown eyes still give you some contrast. Black or navy and white, which I used to love, is now overwhelming. Gaylene is right, I think. Inside out blog has had some posts on finding your contrast..a place to start but not to take too literally.

Anonymous

Ms Maven, thank you for this post. I am experimenting with growing in my gray too. I've learned a lot from the responses here! Such great wisdom, thank you all. I'm pale and my face has very little colour definition --at least you look to have lovely dark eyes. So when I told my hair stylist I wanted to grow in the gray, his immediate response was, "Then you'd better make friends with makeup." I've found he's right and that the right lippy allows me to wear a few of my clothes that might have looked off otherwise.

Carla

Veteran

Haven't coloured since June, and went pixie short (long on top) over the Christmas holiday). I have about 3 inches of coloured hair at the ends of the longish top layer, but all the undercut is natural. It looks kind of mixed metal (copper, white, and a sort of pewter grey) and has more depth though less vibrancy. My eyes are hazel, but more greeney gold then brown. I was going to start a similar thread because...

...certain colours suddenly don't look so good. I recently set aside purple, red and blush coloured items (except my purple leather jacket, and wine coloured clothes, which still work). An ancient very pale grey cardi that I always liked, looks great and a new-to-me colour--ice blue (merino sweater) looks shockingly good! A clean white is flattering, too. I am still bookending with cognac, but silver is super fab. Black, charcoal, and navy are okay, but blue jean blue and steel or heather blue are better.

The next couple of seasons will be trial and error, I think. However, I hope to learn from other Fabbers going through the same thing!

MsMaven

Veteran

Allona, I've been experimenting with lipstick as well. I sense I need something brighter, but don't like my ever thinning lips with red or darker colors. I've found a pink that is "okay" and for dress up I put on a brighter second shade over it.

Runcarla, in a way I wish I had the courage to just cut it short, but I know from past experience I don't like myself in short hair and I don't feel up to the hassle of growing it out. I think it's great when women do a pixie or svn shorter and just get it done.

So far purple is good and last year I bought a cobalt top--a color I stayed away from before--and think it looks good. Red is hard but wine still seems to work. So it will be trial and error for me as well.

I love the outfit Angie posted today--the light gray and white is something I would never have worn before. I could do that today except that I don't have anything in light blue, but I'm looking for it.