Thank you all for your comments, support, suggestions, and commiseration. I’m not doing so well, have read them through many times. Thank you. On Thursday, I thought I just needed a little while and would get back to work on looking for work in the evening. The bridge photo shoot with my son was a little pick me up and then we played catch with the football a little, which did. me even more good, but then I just fell apart and spent most of yesterday moping about and hitting “refresh” on ylf, IG, and Email way too much.
So today is a new day. It is bright and sunny, and even getting warm, probably low 50s today. I’ve written a note to the daughter-of-a-friend who is helping me with the applications (she works in HR) and am now going to start again. She is great at editing my applications, grammar, but also things like “take out this bit where you show a personal connection to the company’s stated values; they don’t want to know about applicants as people” and the like. She does it when she has a spare moment. I really wish I could find an agency to work with, because then I’d have that sense of responsibility/obligation, and they’d keep me accountable with “FI, I was expecting you to turn in a draft this morning; where is it?” Lol, actually just the thought of that would make me push through. I need an accountability buddy!
My schedule this week will be to do an application or two in the morning, then tactile engagement with the real world (exercise, cleaning, groceries, cooking...) in the afternoon, and working on the grant proposal in the evenings. My son is here, working on school things. He needs some occasional love, whether it’s playing football, making him a peanut butter sandwich, or long chats about life. He also needs my good good example of pulling my socks up and moving on, as Helena pointed out.
The system here is well-organized, but it is designed to serve those already in the system. I have never come here without having work, etc lined up before, and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone! They do have an asylum process in place for those who have that kind of need to break into the system quickly. I don’t begrudge them that at all. In my 30s, I lived here with the love of my life and many of his friends and extended family, all of whom were refugees. I am thankful that we have never been in that situation.
Currently, my network here is very, very small. My son’s school would naturally provide lots of good possibilities, but I’ve never met most of the other parents because of Covid. Making up my own LLC? I could declare myself a freelancer, but need some stuff to back that up, beginning (I think) with a couple contracts. Hmm.
Anyway, onward!
