What if Goldilocks went shopping in an upscale Chicago suburb?

First, she tried J. Crew, but this this location doesn't stock the brand's larger sizes, so, except for a couple sweaters that were "too pale," everything was "too small." Even the lovely linen pants. Double digits weren't sold out, they were only online. Goldie suddenly felt very hungry.

Next came Chico's and J. Jill. She could surely find things that were, well, bigger! Here, salespeople wouldn't meet her eye. Perhaps they were frightened, since she was pretty sure she'd spied Red Riding Hood's granny (or was that a wolf?) in the store. Things were large enough but, well, she looked liked Granny.

Then, she tried WHBM, trying on a asymmetrical orchid top. She looked like a Star Trek crew member on shore leave --- or a guest at a disco wedding.

Last came the Gap. This must be a store for all the woodland fairy tale characters! But my, what huge armholes there were, and some things were too big, while others were too thin and clingy, and nothing was just right.

She left with a pretzel. I told you she was hungry.

On her way home, while brushing the pretzel salt off her blouse, she looked down and realized that everything she was wearing fit her perfectly. Her shoes were comfy, her sleeveless top was cool, and cobalt, which is doubly cool. Her pants were soft and drapey with swanky little ankle zippers.

Then, with the extra time a Chicago rush hour commute allows, she did a little mental inventory of her closet. While it could be tidier, and she'd love to make it bigger, it was a far better place to shop than the mall in the big woods.

Grabbing a quick glance in the mirror (wasn't she supposed to be blond -- why did she look like Snow White?), she began to sing........

"I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feeeeeeeeeel so bad!"

1. What Goldie wore -- she's feeling faint and wrung out. This is before the pretzel.
2. How she wears the outfit at home -- the flats are better for running away from bears!