Going top-less at the beach: what do you guys think? - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Off Topic

Going top-less at the beach: what do you guys think?

Irene

Veteran

Cobaltblue's topic on Nudism at the Maternity Shop got me wondering about your opinion on going top-less at the beach.

I live in a Spanish city where this is extremely common, and more and more every year. I've never done it because I don't feel comfortable with my breasts. I don't like them, I think they get enough attention covered by my bikini top and I don't want to expose them to the world. However, I'm an exception these days.

Women of all ages and sizes sunbathe without their bikini tops (women don't usually wear one-piece swimsuits until they hit their 60-70s). They might put them on when they go inside the water, maybe they feel uncomfortable with the boucing (I would).

The truth is, breasts have become a normal thing to see at the beach. And they are not considered something sexual anymore (at the beach, that is). Of course there will be the occasional glance, but you would probably get that with your top on too. I can say I've been to the beach with four friends, three of them going top-less and no one came to bother us. No one told us anything. Nothing relevant happened because we were surrounded by other women doing exactly the same thing.

I remember a discussion I had some years ago with an American friend from SF. He was so shocked about this, when he came to Barcelona he couldn't believe what he was seeing. But I think he actually sexualized the breasts because it was something strange for him (and therefore alluring). He looked. He stared. It was a taboo for him. It's really not a tabbo for most guys here.

I think of it as when women weren't supposed to their legs and men went crazy when they saw an ankle. So, there's really nothing wrong with a specific bodypart. It is what we are taught about it that changes our perception.

So, what is your take here? I know what my American friend thinks, but he's a guy so he doesn't have boobs. I want to know what other women think and how they feel about this!

Off Topic

23 replies

Latest reply was from ironkurtin

Astrid

Veteran

I wouldn't do it because I'd feel uncomfortable, but I have no problem when other women do it. Although I would say that this is not so common here, in comparison to what you mentioned. You do see women topless on the regular beach (mostly to avoid tan lines), but I would say they are still in the minority. And I feel like most women that are comfortable with showing their bodies are older, most of my female friends would have a real problem with it. They even have difficulties with someone seeing them changing into their clothes, which doesn't bother me personally. I just don't want to sit around topless for the world to see fo the whole time.

Maybe our attitude isn't quite as relaxed as yours, but I would say we don't see it like your American friend either. Not everybody does it, but when they do the breasts are just that - breasts. There's no sexual context.

I think it's a bit like the whole breastfeeding thing. Here in Europe all women do it without covering up in public and absolutely no one's batting an eye. Just today I sat next to a woman breastfeeding her baby on a museum's bench while we both had a relaxed look at the art.

Diana

Veteran

Hmm, so I believe that it is actually illegal to go topless on public beaches in the US. So for that reason alone I wouldn't do it here.

However, if I were somewhere in Europe where a majority of the women were going topless I might do it too. I certainly do not have a problem with visible breasts and seeing them does not make me uncomfortable as long as it is in an appropriate situation (like a European beach). What I do have a problem with is people ogling my visible breasts in a sexual manner, which would probably happen if I went topless at the beach in the US.

bj1111

Veteran

ummm, skin cancer, premature aging...lots of reason to keep the girls covered. least of. which is the taboo/sex/body shyness aspect.

siniestra

Um the public beaches in usa are illegal but we do have nudist beaches in here which my hub told me there r some in miami and my dad went to los angeles ..if you feel comfortable do it i mean i see lots of women breastfeeding in Central america their babies n no one is like staring at them i have a tot 2 years old n i didn't do bare breastfeeding over here cuz ppl are bit grossed out but going back to the subject if you are plenty confiden't and not doing for malice there's noting wrong about it just remember lots of sun screen cancer awareness

Irene

Veteran

I don't tan -I burn. So I stay under the umbrella most of the time, which is why I don't have to worry about tan-lines lol I'm not asking why you don't do it, bu whether you think it's wrong for other women to do it or not.

It's hard for me to understand how breasts could be considered 'gross'. It's just a mass of fat covered by skin (just like the rest of the body). Oh, and there's a nipple at the end but men have that too! If you think about it, mouth, eyes and nose are much more disgusting, with all the bacteria, and the juices lol

citygirldc

(website)

Veteran

I say " When in Rome, Do As the Romans Do..." or something like that. Anyway, I may or may not go topless. It just depends on the situation.

Mander

(website)

Veteran

The first time I went to a beach where nudism was acceptable (as an undergraduate) I did a bit of a double-take, but I got over it pretty quickly, and even tried it myself! I felt a bit uncomfortable because I was not used to that bit of my body being exposed to the elements, especially the "bounce" factor in the water, but in general I don't find human bodies gross so that aspect did not bother me at all.

As an American I do find it kind of weird how much we have sexualized the breasts, so that even breastfeeding is considered something unseemly. In Europe I have not noticed this at all -- none of my friends who have had babies have ever used nursing covers when I have been with them in public, and I have even seen women in headscarves sit down in the mall and breastfeed their babies.

I haven't seen very many topless women on the beach on my trips to Spain, but there have been a few. Once I saw a magnificent young woman who fit all of the criteria of somebody who "should cover up" -- she was very large, much larger than I am, with plenty of cellulite and stretch marks and flabby bits and sagging breasts. It was really very empowering to see her confidently walking around the beach, and it made me think about my own body image issues and feelings of shame, because she was not the least bit ugly or gross. My Spanish wasn't up to telling her this, otherwise I would have said something.

Krista

Veteran

It's actually legal in my city to go topless if you really want to, but let's be honest, Canadians are so conservative that it rarely happens. That being said, I've been to southern France and have happily gone topless on the beach because it seemed like the thing to do. The only thing I noticed is that the women put their bathing suit tops ON to go in the water, but they sunbathe topless. Strange!?! Anyway, I agree that it feels a little weird in the beginning but since no one is really paying attention to you, you get over it pretty quickly.

Sunscreen is a must, though! Lordy, the thought of sunburned nipples gives me the willies!

MsMary

Veteran

I wouldn't do it because time and weight fluctuations have taken their toll on my tummy. Otherwise, I would bat for team "When in Rome!"

deb

Veteran

When I was younger I would have no problem, but now, it is a different story. Here in the U.S. the puritanical ways are still alive and well. We have a lot more censorship than the European countries.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I can separate sexy from the naked body. I have been topless on European beaches, with the addition of sunblock and enjoy the freedom. Am I alone in thinking bikini tops collect sweat in a horrible manner and can lead to a person missing sections of skin when applying their SPF?

JulieJohn

Veteran

I have done it in Bahamas, it was very freeing. Try it!

rachylou

Veteran

I don't really appreciate men going topless either. I have a Victorian/Edwardian sense of dress: I feel the more clothes the merrier. Lol. Also, I too burn and wear long sleeves in the sun.

They just banned public nudity in SF. Mostly, I think, because the people doing it were annoying.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I don't think I would be comfortable doing it personally, but doubt I would mind if others around were sunbathing topless. Funny, my BF (who is in great shape incidentally) is not very comfortable wearing no shirt even in hot FL when we are in the kayak paddling in noonday sun.

jayne

Veteran

Yup, been there done that! When I first moved to Norway ,18 years ago, topless at the beach was the standard so after a summer or two I joined in. When the kids came, breastfeeding was the same, do it whenever child needs it, didn't worry about popping out the breast where ever i was, and when I visited the states in the middle of one baby, was shocked at the overreaction to a completely natural thing. But now in Norway, while breastfeeding is still ok, the trend for topless has died away and most ladies at the beach are covered. But when I travel and come across the topless trend, I join in. I love the sun on my skin (yes with sunscreen)!

Aziraphale

Veteran

I tried it once, in my early twenties, and couldn't stand the jiggling. It was fine while I was just lying there sunbathing, but as soon as I got up to walk around, I felt ridiculous. And I was plenty happy with the way my boobs looked, so that wasn't the problem. I wasn't a big fan of the beach or of sunbathing, although I would join my friends at the beach because it was something we did occasionally back then. 20 years later, I'm still happy with the way my breasts look, and I'm probably more comfortable with my naked body now than I was then, but I never sunbathe anymore so it's a moot point!

Of course, there are not many places you can sunbathe naked where I live, so perhaps that's part of the reason I'm uncomfortable. It's culturally not the norm. I would guess most Canadian women would feel awkward exposing their breasts, to be honest, because it's so rare to see that sort of thing here.

Another point: the skin on my breasts is smooth and white, like a teenager's. That's another good reason to keep 'em covered: it prevents premature aging. A wrinkly decolletage is not appealing.

I don't have a problem with topless women at the beach, mind you. If you want to do it, knock yourself out. It's one way to avoid tan lines (the other way being, of course, to not get a tan!).

rachylou

Veteran

Well maybe everyone *should* do it and get some sun. Because I once went on a hike up beside a waterfall. When we got to the top - surprise! Nudist colony! All these flaccid pasty people lying around under the trees. It was a lot like turning over a rock and finding a lot of potato bugs. Or termites.

Squishy people. Very squishy people.

Lyn D.

Veteran

LOL!

Anonymous

I go topless sometimes here in St. Maarten, which is very common. I don't do it to stop tan lines because I burn. I use sunscreen, and sit in the shade.
When I spend the day at the beach I wear a solar swim shirt in the water. It even has long sleeves. When I get out of the water I take the swim shirt off. Sometimes I will put my swim suit top on and sometimes I sit top-less.

D'Ellen

Veteran

Rachylou, once again you've cracked me up!

ironkurtin

Veteran

There's nothing wrong with nudity. (Even if we consider the other naked person ugly.) Why are we so ashamed of naked bodies?

There's also nothing wrong with covering up, for whatever reason - discomfort, health, thinking a fabric is pretty, whatever.

Being judgmental - now that, IMO, is the real issue.

rachylou

Veteran

Judgemental-ness is an interesting thing to me. Because I was raised hippie. Heavy emphasis on the "open." It doesn't help to emotionally suffocate people. On the other hand, you have to make decisions and agreements, be able to expect this or that. Conventions smooth the way.

I don't know anything about shame but, as unconventional as I am, I can appreciate what convention does for people.

When it comes to clothing, I suspect a lot has to do with when your institutional memory starts and stops. If I started with my own birth time and place, people would be trying to shame you out of your clothing. However, my institutional memory begins before that and to me all that freeing of the self is a side show.

ironkurtin

Veteran

We all have body issues, no doubt. It's imposing them on other people that I think needs to stop.