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Giving up my closet for 4 weeks and a lesson learned

MsMary

Veteran

My Marine son was here for almost a month, and of course he stayed in his old room, which is currently being used as the guest room/Woman Cave, featuring the fab custom closets where I keep most of my clothes. I moved everything out when he got here and have been keeping it on rolling garment racks in my Hubby's den. (Fortunately Hubby is out of town on business.)

Well. Seeing everything out in the open like that made me realize just. how. many. clothes I really have! I filled four rolling racks with jackets, skirts, pants, and cardigans in every color of the rainbow! (My blouses live in my bedroom and yep, I have them in every color, too!) Plus a huge cardboard box full of my bags! It's no wonder I get frustrated and feel like I have more clothes than I have occasions to wear them!

Not only that, but I bought a fair number of things in NYC. And this weekend when I went to move my clothes back into the Woman Cave (my Marine left for Japan on Thursday), it turned out it didn't all fit comfortably in the space available! Yikes! So I required every item to earn its way back into the closet, and ended up with a good number of things earmarked for the next clothing swap.

The good news? I'm feeling more content with my wardrobe than I have in quite some time. And when I feel the urge to get something new (I'm looking at you, super-cute Kelly green blazer at F21), it's much easier to pass it by. After all, if I buy something new it'll either not get worn very much, or it'll cause something else I already own and love to not get worn very much, and neither of those is an outcome I'm willing to live with. So the best thing to do is just pass it by unless it is SUPER SUPER SPECIAL. (I'm looking at you, Comptoir Des Cotonniers black pantsuit and Doc Marten Sara's!)

Who woulda thunk, huh? Maybe I should move out of my closet at least once a year, just to gain some perspective!

General

29 replies

Latest reply was from MsMary

christieanne

Veteran

Truer words were never spoken
It's a hard thing to do, but so rewarding.

I literally emptied my entire closet last week and put it back in slightly smaller space and it was eye opening. I don't LOVE everything but it did open my eyes to some replacement needs as well.

Good work Soldier Mom!

kellygirl

Veteran

Wow! We should all move out of our closets every once in awhile!

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Great work MaryK! That's an inspiring lesson and very timely for me as I struggle with the idea of SYC. I need to appreciate the clothes I have more instead of always looking for something new. I too have to keep reminding myself that each new purchase is preventing me from wearing my other fab items.

You have such a large fab wardrobe and are such a talented thrifter (Burberry trench for example!). How did you decide what to purge? And what kinds of items did you get rid of?

MsMary

Veteran

Here's what I got rid of:

1. My flat oxfords. I do not wear flat shoes. Period. Since I acquired my flat oxfords last year (black and white and cream-and-cognac), I have purchased high-heeled cream-and-cognac and black-and-white oxfords, which I love and wear all the time. So out go the flat versions.

2. Low-heeled pumps, which I bought to wear with dress pants that weren't quite long enough to wear with my regular work shoes. They don't fit quite right, they don't feel all that good, I don't feel fab in 'em, and the not-quite-long-enough pants went out in the last round of purging. So -- out they go.

3. A brown tweed jacket that I LOVE LOVE LOVE but I'm finally admitting it is too big and that's why it didn't get worn this winter (even though I carried it all the way to NYC and back).

4. Black leather pants that I found at the consignment store for $12 and wore once. They were fun that once but the fit is problematic in a couple of ways so they didn't earn their way back into the closet. I feel fine about the $12 cost-per-wear, actually.

5. Bright green silk plaid skirt that is gorgeous but doesn't quite pass my age-appropriateness filter (combination of length, tightness, fabric, and color) and went home with Rae on Saturday.

6. A couple of skirts and jackets that are just "meh" and therefore didn't earn back their closet space.

7. My faux Dries van Noten bleached-bottom jeans. I love 'em but they have a stain on the leg that makes me feel less than fab while wearing them. I may give the jeans-bleaching thing another try some time with some non-stained jeans.

8. An LL Bean wrap dress that is special in no way other than that it was on sale for $24.99 with free shipping.

9. A dressy jacket covered with little bows that is adorable but totally doesn't fit my lifestyle. Like, at all.

Scarlet

Veteran

That sounds very smart, MaryK. I have the feeling my mom also has to do a last minute purge of my room when I come home to visit, but in her case it is weaving paraphernalia. Did you actually get the pant suit already? Is that what you paired with your bird top? Cause if you're going back, I really need that red handbag that they have, so just, you know, pick that up for me? ;o) I haven't seen you in Docs yet.

MsMary

Veteran

Yes, I got the pantsuit in NYC -- on sale for half off and another 15% off that! Can't beat that deal, huh? And yes, that's what I wore with the bird top!

And I actually wore it with the Docs!

BTW, the manager of the store said if you call, they would be happy to send you whatever you need!

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AJ

Veteran

Ah I have been feeling the same way about having too much and lots of things just sitting on the sidelines waiting.

Angie's post on the 8 piece workwear capsule and my recent readings of The Vivienne Files has got me wanting to pare down.

Kudos to you for taking those feelings and doing something about it!!

Mo

(website)

Veteran

You know, I think this was a big motivation for the second part of my purge as well, upon returning home to CA? Didn't really occur to me, but the CA closets are smaller than the FL one although I didn't use the whole space. What I have now fits, but just. barely. Like I have 2 empty hangers ready to put my soon to be mine ink blue dress and a future spring top and that's it. No more room at the inn. And I couldn't be happier with the state of my closet right now!
You're right, a change of perspective really helps! I think Denise mentioned rotating color families recently, which is another way to shake up looking at what you've got. I think at least once a year moving stuff around might be a sound way to look at what we have anew.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

As I read this, I am nodding my head. In July, I could fill two 36" clothing racks. Now I have grown to 3 and they are filled tight. Obviously I haven't been practicing "one-in-one-out."

I have need for these capsules:
Cold weather work clothes
Warm weather work clothes
Cold weather smart casual
Warm weather smart casual
Fancy occasions

The work clothes take up maximum 20% of the space. But it is what I wear 60-80% of the time, depending on my schedule. Not fab stuff, uniform type outfits: pants and shirts.

Non -work smart casual clothes take up 70% of space, worn 20-40% of the time.

Fancy stuff takes up 10% of space, worn .01% of time.

My logical side is very aware that this is not an efficient allocation of resources! Key resources being space, money, and brain tissue used trying to figure out what to wear. My smart casual wardrobe has a lousy CPW yet that is THE ONLY part of my wardrobe that I am interested in shopping or dressing for.

MsMary

Veteran

OMG, Denise! I never even thought of it like that! I buy WAY WAY too much casual and smart casual clothing, even though I honestly have very very little need for any of it!! I could and should wear business formal to business dressy casual to work, and I believe in dressing up for the theatre, which is where we mostly go when we go out. And on the weekends I almost always spend a minimum of one full day in workout clothes.

And yet. I LOVE my weekend/evening/going out for a drink with Hubby or the girls clothes. I am constantly tempted to buy yet another pair of bright skinnies or a plaid top or a fab pair of RATE booties or sexy platform sandals.

It's a puzzlement.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

If you look at retail, it's filled with smart casual and cool trendy things. Not suitable for many people's work like yours or mine. Why do they torture us? Is it because, they know that's the candy that tempts us to buy? Probably. A sea of conservative suits or waiter pants and white button downs would not make either of us walk into a store. Then we would be like guys -- buying for need.

And everyone knows the American economy -- wait, make that the world economy -- would fall into an even deeper recession if we started shopping like guys!

MsMary

Veteran

Good point. Lots to think about...

jenanded

Veteran

Mary and CocoLion - I say this with great love - I have been feeling SO inadequate looking at all your gorgeous WIW posts... So you really DO have miles of wonderful garments to choose from - one part envy... But you are also right - OMG where/when can one gal get to wear them all before the next new outfit love affair begins! Remember everyone - you can't take anything with you when you go but you DO get to wear one last outfit one last time.... We should never be UNDERPREPARED for it! Love you all!

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

This is a fascinating thread, such wonderful insights!

jayne

Veteran

I agree, wonderful thread. It seems we have clothes shopping preferences, all of us, that do not match our real life. I am fascinated that MaryK, who loks so fab, also feels she has too much. It seems I never see you post the same thing twice. But I am finding that too much choice in my closet makes me feel overwhelmed when I try to make an outfit. But I suspect MaryK, you have no problem since you have such great imagination!

CocoLion, are your work clothes the kind that are just a bit 'dull'...I see you live in the country and get the impression it is a farm or something....does that mean you need to work in jeans and such? and perhaps you would rather dress up? I have that problem. The work place here is super super casual and I keep dressing better than the average. I could live in jeans and sneakers every day and no one would raise an eyebrow. It is so hard to fit in when I would rather be in something nicer! So my wardrobe is worn, but doesn't really match the culture around me!

MsMary

Veteran

Right... challenging the environment norm is a whole 'nother kettle of fish, isn't it?

On the topic of "never post the same thing twice," that's a funny little issue for me. I do post my outfits pretty much every day (only exception is when I wear my gym gear all day on the weekend), and I do feel like I want to have something different every time. So sometimes I feel like I'd really love to wear an outfit I've already worn, but then I don't because I have unworn items or untried combinations and feel like I should wear them before I repeat. Which is nuts, I know. Especially given the fact that two years ago I had maybe five work outfits that I repeated every single week.

Sometimes I am way too far up in my own head!

cciele

Veteran

Glad you were able to get some perspective on your clothing situation, MaryK! It's amazing how much clothes can build up and we lose sight until something forces us to reexamine the wardrobe. When I moved to my new place I purged a TON of stuff. Unfortunately I am running out of room again, hah!

jayne

Veteran

MaryK that is so funny! I am doing the same thing. I rotate through everything before 'allowing' myself to wear it again! And tracking what I wear means I am probably seriously up in my own head too! Such a nerd here. As a lawyer I don't think you can claim nerd status!

Meredith1953

Veteran

Such an interesting topic! There are several others floating around today about the inability to keep up with the latest trends, or having too much stuff to manage properly. Its like the collective consciousness of YLF has converged on these topics today!

ManidipaM

Veteran

I was nodding along as I read.

At the beginning of this year, I had a half a dresser, six suitcases and 2 shelves full of clothes. And that's just HALF my wardrobe (the other not-really-equal half is in another city). I've lived like this for 2 years now (NO hanging space, ha!) and got tired of it eventually. Something had to give, so I went rooting around recently --- and so many people's posts and epiphanies inspired me here! --- and managed to bring it down to 3 bags full, one large and one small dresser drawer, and 1 shelf.

And I'm not done yet! There's a move and therefore another purge on the way.

It's so helpful and motivating and even comforting, always, to watch each of us grapple with our different and yet all-too-common closet issues, isn't it?

Jonesy

Veteran

So wise, MaryK. I am in purge mode, big time, so I can totally appreciate your story. Love the "pass it by unless it's really special" mantra! I am trying to do that too, just go for high-quality, very interesting pieces.

rae

(website)

Veteran

I have been mulling this over since you talked about it Saturday (and I was REALLY tempted to try those bleached jeans, even though I also have more casual clothes than casual occasions). As a lifelong bargain hunter, when you said it's a shame that some clothes can't get worn, it really hit me that every wardrobe item should be *loved* beyond novelty value.

This is the first year that I've ever found myself *missing* wearing clothes I have, rather than longing for something new to shake things up. I mean, if I don't care whether an item is moldering away unworn... why did I buy it? Why do I still have it? Even if it's a "practical" item - it's not practical if it doesn't get worn. Even if something nice, and even if I like it... does it need to stay if I don't think about it until I clean my closet?

I feel another purge round coming on... we're going to need another swap party!

MsMary

Veteran

Exactly, rae!! I don't mind having items that only get worn a few times a year (or less) if they are, for example, super fancy or otherwise specialty items. But for everyday clothes, it turns out I'm more comfortable with a smaller, fabber universe of options.

And yes, we definitely need another swap party! I think Vicki and Marley were talking about doing one down in the OC...

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Inspiring! All of these comments!

Lisa

Veteran

Some great insight in this thread. I've been doing a very slow closet purge over the past year and a half and once I got my 4 season wardrobe into 1 closet (previously in 2 closets and some boxes) I keep revisiting my now empty closet. And I like that extra space in there to store other household items instead of having to fish around my clothes to get to them. My main closet is up next. It sounds like you had some great insight with your clothing shuffle. I may have to try this with my main closet. Pull everything out and then slowly put items back in. I'm sure I'll find a point when the visual asthetic of the closet no longer strikes my fancy (ie clothes are too close together, hangers are no longer matchy matchy) and perhaps that's when I'll cut off adding new items. One thing I have been doing, is removing two items for every one new item. That's a real eye opener and makes me pause when I have a new purchase in hand.

Debby

(website)

Lots of good points to think about here. I am at the point where I have to either 1)buy more hangers or 2)pick things to take out of the closet for the new things I've added.

My wardrobe life is very up in the air for several reasons: I'm still not sure what my work life is going to look like (I'm in a conservative but temp day job, after working from home for a long time), so I need clothes to cover any situation. Also, I hope to lose the few pounds I've gained, so I have things that fit now and things that used to fit that will fit again if I can lose weight. The things that don't fit are in a separate but accessible closet, and I'm not willing to give up on them.

These factors make purging hard, but perhaps there are some styles I've just grown away from, that can go no matter what.

rachylou

Veteran

Inspiring and illuminating!

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

Great insight, MaryK!
I am constantly purging my closet because I don't want it to grow out of control. But it is becoming a challenge now when I have already purged all unfab things and pretty much love what I have.
I also have to assess my buying habits now: I am afraid I went a bit overboard in Chicago and should be on SYC now...:-(

MsMary

Veteran

Lisa, you really hit the nail on the head! When the closets were new, I loved to sit in there and look at them and enjoy how pretty and organized it all looked! Now, about a year later, it's much more crowded and aesthetically much less pleasing. Not to mention the fact that I've made WAY too many trips to buy more hangers!