Let me start by saying that, as a recovering addict, I've learned that us humans (and most especially us addicts & alcoholics) have a tendency to weave very complex webs of rationalization & justification. So some of this could be total horse puckey and I'm ok with that LOL

I've talked about my weight gain on here. Middle aged spread and premenopausal hormone issues and depression and whatever. I'm slowly working my way into an exercise regiment and healthier eating habits. I say slowly because the only time radical change worked for me was when I first got clean (sober), and even then it was quit cold turkey and incremental spiritual growth over time. I'm wanting the exercise & dietary changes to be lifelong, so I'm treating it like a marathon rather than a 100 yard dash.

It's been hard. I have old injuries that are coming back to haunt me in very discouraging ways. My doctor is working on getting me help for the biggest of those issues, and we're doing a decent job of managing the rest. The changes I'm making will make it easier to manage the lesser issues, so it's good on many levels that I'm making these changes. However, I'm still finding it hard to NOT be discouraged, because I'm not seeing instant results and I want instant gratification

Well, enough is enough, right? I finally gave myself permission to do something to feel a bit better about my body as it is right now. I just spent an obscene amount of money, and I'm defiantly proud of myself for it. Ultimately, the amount of money was actually beyond reasonable, considering how much I'm getting for it because of shopping sales. It was just an obscene amount of money to spend on something that ISN'T the house we're building right now.

I just ordered a bunch of new foundational garments: bras, pannies, more bras, and more pannies. I'm sick of wearing blah underwear. I'm sick of wearing my juvenile delinquent superhero underoos type of pannies with bras that belong to the same superhero color family but don't really count as matched sets. I'm sick to death with not feeling fab in my clothes; often, that starts with foundational garments.

It was only supposed to be a couple of matching sets, but after the first one arrived, I enjoyed the new ones so much that I went overboard. I've got a metric tonne of undergarments on the way. I even took it one step further, and ordered a pair of leggings and a coordinated Wacoal sports bra to go with them. While it's pretty awesome that my lifestyle allows clothing that's so comfortable I can literally do yoga in it, there needs to be some distinction. And that distinction doesn't need to be "well, these are too ratty to be actual clothes so they're perfect for exercise".

Just because I'm making gradual lifestyle changes to get healthier doesn't mean I have to keep depriving myself of feeling ok with myself by not buying things that make me feel fab right now. That was a convoluted sentence that I hope makes sense :-O

While I do love most of my clothing, I still struggled to feel good in it because let's get honest:
WEARING THE ADULT EQUIVALENT OF UNDEROOS DOES NOT LEND ITSELF TO FABNESS

So I'm giving myself permission to feel better so that I can feel more motivated to keep going with my exercise and dietary changes. Feeling fab starts inside, yet sometimes it takes a little bit of help on the outside to jump-start the process. That's my web of rationalization & justification, and I'm sticking to it.

If you're still with me after all of that, thank you for being a part of my style journey; and thank you for being a part of my journey towards a healthier me. You guys have been very VERY supportive of my 12 step recovery and a vital source of support with my mental health issues (whether you know it or not). I'm grateful to have found this place and all the wonderful people who inhabit it.