Ditto .. again Xtabay!
Well said

Dear Mainelady, you are not hurting me. I just tried to explain, as anne rightly presumed, why some might not feel comfortable participating in threads like this. You come across as a VERY nice and likable person, and in a way I feel that your post has deserved many positive responses. But if it doesn't get so many as you might have hoped, it might very well be because some fabbers are too shy to brag about themselves--it simply doesn't feel natural to them. My comment was just meant as a kind information about this fact. It was never my intention to hijack your post or subvert it into making you or anyone else feel badly.

In my opinion, there is no right or wrong, or black or white, regarding this topic. It is just that we are coming from so many different places--geographically, culturally and emotionally.

This forum has broadened my horizon, and I am grateful for that. Some topics discussed here have never been a problem for me, but they obviously are so for some people elsewhere, and several fabbers' thoughtful comments and kind explanations have helped me to see various cases from new-to-me points of view.

Xtabay, taylor, and others, OF COURSE, it is always possible to just (more or less) ignore a post and move on to the next. And I guess that many of us often do so. But sometimes it might be worth trying to explain a different view than the poster or the majority seems to hold. After all, a meaningful and mutually enriching conversation consists of more than just repeating others' viewpoints. And I am so glad that this forum has often showed that despite our different viewpoints it is possible to treat each other with kindness and respect.

Ditto to Xtabay and Taylor. I’ve beat myself up enough in my lifetime (and yes, on this forum) that I took a moment to pat myself on the back for an ability I have. I learned a long time ago that if someone else’s thread makes me feel uncomfortable, I can use that as an opportunity to examine what that means for my emotional well-being, and I can choose whether to participate or not. At the same time, I respect and appreciate all the many varied perspectives in this forum from a variety of countries and cultures.

I don't see it as bragging, just providing balance. We're all very upfront about the things we feel bad about: this color is awful on me, that makes my (insert body part) look big, etc. Even if we don't say it- society tells us we have to worry about every flaw. Advertisers will make up stuff for us to worry about!

Being good at something is a gift. Its the things that come naturally. The times when we're in Flow state. We all have them, just like we all have the things that don't come naturally. The gifts are for us to give away-to help others!

The Cat speaks for me too. I certainly was not offended, upset or uncomfortable. And in no way did I intend to hijack anything . Every post is a conversation . Replies, questions, differences of opinion. It's all good ! (or should be)

Oh, to answers your question ...how do I walk in heels?
My husband gave the best comeback to a stranger one day .

“ As you can see , my wife is *light* on her feet”

I can’t top that , so it’s my standard answer now

My great strength can be my biggest weakness as well.....I am very fair and a very good arbitrator/mediator/analyst and good at seeing both sides of the story. I understand good people can do bad things, and that bad people can do good things.......This makes me a good listener and a diplomatic person 95% of the time.

But it can lead me to permanently feel conflicted about things (eg if I am happy because something good has happened, I see the person who has lost out).

NZers are known for not being good at promoting themselves, and for hoping people will notice that they are doing a good job. Traditionally we would hate to be seen as someone who talked themselves up and could not then deliver. It is changing however. Some cultures are much better at this than others - so I think this is part of the reticence here from forum members.

And I agree with The Cat that it is fine to have a conversation about our differences.

I agree with the Cat and Lisa. I hadn't planned to comment at all and my earlier comment was to reassure you, kind Mainelady, which the Cat herself has now done more fully.

And ditto to everything Sal said.Just insert "australians" instead of NZers! I identify with her first paragraph but in my I overanalyse and contribute way less on YLF than I'd like even though I "listen" caringly, because I'm not decisive enough to write things. I really do care about you all.

Mainelady, you are such a kind and generous person. I hope you know how appreciated you are here on YLF.

I belong to the category of rather shy people not good at promoting themselves. I think that many of us here, where I live, could be better at it. Therefore, I didn’t really know how to answer at first.

In terms of style, I know a thing or two about scarves. But I think that I am also very good at shopping. Seriously, I often find great sources of great stuff and I usually manage to get fantastic quality for the money. I am not a lazy shopper and I don’t leave any stone unturned.

Canadians will apologize for something they didn't do before they ever blow their own horns Mainelady - your contributions here are unique and valued. Your positivity and sense of fun comes through - guess it goes with being a teacher? And your personal approach to fashion is great - you aren't swayed by trends. It's always fun to start threads that are a little different - and this one was fun to read.

After a fairly long hiatus from participating in the forum due to health issues from an autoimmune illness, family issues, and an ever increasing workload, I'm back and am loving this thread!
I think I'm good at giving people honest but practical advice. That's what I have been doing as a vocational rehabilitation counselor since 1985. With regard to style, I know something about color combinations and pattern mixing. As an introvert, what I wear each day frequently conveys more than my verbal communication. I am grateful that I have the opportunity to appreciate the myraid unique styles and opinions of others on this forum.

Sal, diplomacy is indeed a valued talent. Being able to see both sides is very helpful. It doesn’t necessarily make things easier though. I have observed quite a few diplomatic and tactful people who are also quite empathetic.
Dear Katerina, I would agree that you know a thing or two about scarves and shopping! I am happy to see you posting again.
Nuancedream, welcome back! I am wishing you improved health and fewer challenges. Color, pattern and style is a very effective means of communication. Thank you for posting!